


Lux Aeterna

by Eunmih, shitty4eyes



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Adventure, Alternate Universe - Dystopia, Alternate Universe - Horror, Gothic, Inspired by Bloodborne, Lovecraftian, Lovecraftian Monster(s), M/M, Mild Gore, Royalty, happy halloween!!!, please read the notes for appropriate content warnings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-21
Updated: 2019-11-18
Packaged: 2020-12-27 14:40:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 97,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21120431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eunmih/pseuds/Eunmih, https://archiveofourown.org/users/shitty4eyes/pseuds/shitty4eyes
Summary: Every sunset, the church bells ring in Aureum, an eerily Gothic city full of monstrous beasts and a maddening plague that threatens to spread throughout the world. Hunters fight to contain the scourge, only to disappear into the night and never return. Prince Changkyun never thought that the mysteries of the day would lead him to join the hunt at night, but when a cursed weapon takes a hold of his soul, there's nothing he can do to fight it... except perhaps teach it to love.





	1. Sanguinem Luna

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sanguinem Luna - Blood Moon
> 
> [ cw for slight gore/nightmarish visions ]

_ “Oh, he did look like a deity – the perfect balance of danger and charm, he was at the same time fascinating and inaccessible, distant because of his demonstrated flawlessness, and possessing such strength of character that he was dismaying and at the same time utterly attractive in an enticing and forbidden way.” _

_ _ Simona Panova _ _

_ _ _ _

Monsters are real.

Every morning, the city smells like rotten eggs and rancid old cheese. It’s brain numbingly foul, something grim, like nothing else. The flames from the night pyres burn in different colours. A mix of red, green and yellow. A mix of death. The edges of broken glass on the ground mix with the ashes, with the dust of burnt bodies. And in its depravity, the city shines in the light of the pyres. Shines in the way death shouldn’t.

Monsters are real, and they bleed into Aureum every single night.

The bells ring at dawn and at dusk. The first, come as a sign of hope. The second, sounds like desperation, like a last breath before the darkness swallows the world.

People know not to leave their houses after dusk. They lock themselves in rooms with reinforced doors and no windows. And those who can’t afford the reinforced doors, hope that the monsters won’t smell them during the night. Whether the monsters do or not, all the people can do is cling to their carved wooden crosses, and pray for morning. 

Hunters sent by the Church scout the eerie streets, searching for their next prey as their prey searches for them. And there’s always a prey. There’s always a beast, a monster, to slay. From Silverbeasts that show deformed, lanky bodies and are scarcely covered by a layer of shaggy silver fur, a ribcage that grows outside the chest and blood red skin, to rabid dogs that no longer look like dogs, but howl in a way that echoes through the streets. There is always a monster waiting to strike, and a Hunter, cocky enough to think they can strike first.

Monsters are real. And so are their legends. 

Auream is an ancient city, once renowned as the home of the Royal Family, now a grim and decadent place, ravaged by a plague of monsters and demented citizens. However, it has always been the focus of old stories. From the mysterious deaths near Cathedral Ward, a killer from ages past who never got caught, to the Wailing Woods where monsters plague day and night. 

There are stories, far too many stories. And even though some of them are insanely blood-curling, Prince Im Changkyun, the youngest member of the Royal Family, has always liked a good mystery. Mostly because it’s a mystery, until it’s not. Legends, conundrums, they’re all rooted in _ something _ , and it’s that _ something _ that is irresistibly tantalizing. Especially when made to be forbidden knowledge, something he’s not _ supposed _to know. 

Who can resist something like that?

In the Royal Castle, there is a library Changkyun isn’t allowed into. The doors are thick, old, holy oak, with stories carved into the wood itself. But the loudest story of all lies within. And even though the doors used to have just the one lock, now they have three. All of them rusted. All of them strong.

As a child, Changkyun had snuck in and found a book among the many. He doesn’t remember all the words he’d read, it would be a miracle if he did. He read them for the first and only time when he was twelve, and was then told, shamed, to forget. A man dressed in black, a white strip around his neck, told Changkyun to never go in there again, that God is always watching, that he should feel ashamed of what he’d done. Changkyun felt no shame, but neither did the priest, who had none. 

Changkyun didn't listen, wasn't thinking, was somewhere far away from his body. He was just repeating the words in his head. Enough to remember the one phrase until this day:

_ In time even Death may die. _

And then, one lock on those old, thick doors became three.

To this day, Changkyun remembers what that book had looked like. Remembers enough to go look for it again. Because they can lock him out of that library as much as they want, but they can’t stop him talking, can’t stop him thinking, can’t stop him listening to crazy old croons in the dark corners of his city, hear what the old barkeep has to say about the types that stay over in dusky rooms. 

Changkyun listens, and he learns. Specifically, in this case: lock-picking.

Three, rusted locks, now unlocked. _ That wasn’t so hard _.

“Hold this,” Changkyun says, softly shoving a lantern at Jooheon’s chest and reaching for the last lock, gently settling it down on the floor. If it falls, it’ll be loud, it’ll echo, they’ll find them and call for the Church. _ The Church _. The last thing Changkyun needs right now, or ever, really.

Jooheon holds the lantern closer to the floor to take a look at the locks. “Where did you learn such a skill?” he asks in a whisper before straightening up and looking around. “We should hurry… If I’m caught I’ll… You’ll be fine. But I won’t.”

Changkyun frowns, glancing behind them before pushing at the door. Would he be fine, though? He knows for a fact that the Church isn’t _ exactly _ fond of him; he’s far too curious, far too nosy, asks too many questions. The Church doesn’t like questions. They like sheep, not wolves. _ God is our shepherd, and you absolutely positively are not allowed to want. _

The door creaks, makes Changkyun wince. “If they find us, I’ll just say I… swayed you, somehow. Don’t worry so much.”

Jooheon brings his shoulders up to his ears and makes a face, eyes scanning into the library before he looks behind them and swallows. “Last time you said that there were rocks falling on us not even two minutes later. I don’t trust you.”

Changkyun pushes the door just a _ little _more, pouting back at Jooheon. “That hurts me. Now, come on,” Changkyun says, smirks as he slips into the library between the two heavy doors, holding them open for Jooheon, who just keeps on making faces as he slips in as well. 

It’s dark in here. Dark and musty. It smells like dust, still, somehow. Dust and moss. Changkyun looks around and he can’t see a damn thing. So he reaches for the lantern and moves Jooheon’s hand to hold onto his arm. Jooheon is, perhaps, not the best person to bring along on things like this, but he is Changkyun’s best friend. He’s all he has, but Changkyun will forever be glad to have him.

“I just need,” Changkyun mutters, leading them deeper into the library. “A page…”

Some books have chains that connect them from shelf to shelf, like prisoners in their own right. _ Words _. Which words could be so dangerous they need confinement? 

Some books look so thick and heavy that they look impossible to manuseate. Others look as decrypt and decaying as the city outside the Palace’s walls. 

“It better be a map,” Jooheon whispers, squeezing Changkyun’s arm closer. “A map to a treasure that will make us both famous and rich.”

“It’s a _ riddle _ ,” Changkyun says, delighted. “Riddles are just maps for smart people.”

Jooheon stops walking and turns to gape at Changkyun’s face. “Are you calling me dumb? I swear--”

“What?” Changkyun laughs. “No!”

“Shhhh!” Jooheon stresses, presses his hand against Changkyun’s mouth, eyes wide on him. “Don’t be so loud!” Jooheon hisses.

Changkyun smiles against it, wiggles his eyebrows and Jooheon just keeps gaping before dropping his hand, rolling his eyes and pushing forward. If Changkyun didn’t know Jooheon so well, he’d believe that the pink to his cheeks is all but an illusion caused by the faint light from the lantern. But, as it is, _ Jooheon is blushing. _

“You’re adorable,” Changkyun cackles, pulling his best friend further into the library. Changkyun hasn’t seen the book _ yet _, and he remembers it being quite hidden, if not standing out for how protected it seemed to be.

“Shush,” Jooheon grumbles, probably blushing even more. “Is this place organized alphabetically or… chronologically? This is like trying to find a needle in a haystack.”

“It’s organised from ‘things Changkyun might one day be allowed to read’ and ‘absolutely never give this to Changkyun’. We’re aiming for the latter.”

“Hm, then deeper into this chasm we shall venture,” Jooheon mutters as he takes an obviously brave breath. “Riddles, riddles, riddles…”

It’s lovely, that even though he’s always so scared of everything, he still goes with Changkyun wherever the winds take them. And even though there’s a lot of complaining, Jooheon never really questions. He just rolls his eyes and follows.

Moonlight shines through the stained glass windows, painting the walls and the books in off reds and greens. That’s when Changkyun recognises it--a red, leather bound book, wrapped in chains of silver. There’s not a speck of rust.

“That one,” Changkyun breathes and hurries forward, worming his arm out of Jooheon’s grip, who fumbles when Changkyun hands him the lanter.

“Wai--”

Changkyun feels that indoctrinated fear of this book, of knowledge, the Church tried so hard to beat and shame into him. If books had an aura, this one’s would taste like the iron in blood.

“Shhh,” Changkyun urges, reaches for the chains and--_ gapes _. Where the chain lifts, and falls back onto the leather, it sizzles against the silver, before healing in the next second. “No way… Joo, come look at this...”

Jooheon walks closer, slowly brings the lantern up and holds it close to the shelf. “What is it, what is it? And _ please _ don’t get too excited? I swear some of these books have eyes,” he adds as he looks around, a shiver quite obviously making his teeth chatter.

“They might, actually,” Changkyun mumbles, carefully working the book out of the chains, wincing when it clatters to the ground. “Shit,” he adds, quickly leaning down and opening the book to page through. “Where is it, where is it, where is it…”

“Hurry up,” Jooheon whispers, leans closer to cast some light onto the pages.

_ The Black Cathedral Massacre _.

“Found it,” Changkyun says, rips the page from the book and hurriedly puts it back, wraps the chains back around it and scrunches at the smell when it sizzles against the leather. “God, that smells like…”

“Pork that’s been sitting around for days?” Jooheon adds, quite helpfully at that. “Come on, let’s get out of here,” he urges, takes Changkyun’s hand and starts pulling him along.

“Agreed,” Changkyun says, runs until they’re just sort of pulling each other out of the library, Jooheon jumping when they hear the heavy clank of armour at the other end of the hallway, where it turns into another. 

By the big wooden doors, Changkyun clicks the heavy locks back in place, grabs Jooheon’s hand again, and runs.

* * *

The moment they slip into Changkyun’s room, Changkyun sits down on one of the chairs nearby and starts laughing.

“It’s not funny!” Jooheon stresses, blindly places the lantern by the round table in the corner, a hand over his chest as he huffs. “I swear… It’s not--” he puffs a laugh and looks away, “It’s _ not funny _.”

Changkyun points at Jooheon, laughing even as his chest rises and falls with heavy breaths, “Aha! But you still laughed!” 

Jooheon turns just enough to reach for Changkyun’s leg with the tip of his boot and kick him lightly. “Because _ you’re _ laughing, ass!”

Changkyun shakes his head, reaches into his pocket for the page. “Let’s see if all that fun was worth it…”

Jooheon glances at the lantern and puts it out before sighing and walking closer, peeking over Changkyun’s shoulder as he says, “Won’t they notice a ripped page in the book?”

“Nobody reads them, anymore, they just… guard them, it’s stupid.” Changkyun smooths the page over his legs. “The tale that started the Black Cathedral legend,” Changkyun mutters, eyes scanning the page as he points. “This. This is what I was looking for. It’s a poem, but… I don’t know, I remember reading it like a riddle. Like it was a puzzle put there for me to solve…”

Jooheon frowns at the paper and then side-glances at Changkyun, “I swear… I keep wondering which side of your family gave you this treasure hunting thirst you have.”

“The side that founded this city in the first place,” Changkyun huffs, starts reading. “_ It is not dead which can eternal lie; And with time even Death may die. Ten steps West, five steps North; Extend your hand and let Death come forth _ .” Changkyun grins, lazily smacking at Jooheon’s arm. “Isn’t that just… so freaking _ cool _?!”

“Kind of ominous, if you want my most honest opinion,” Jooheon mumbles. “You say this is the origin behind the story of Black Cathedral’s Massacre?”

“Yeah, still doesn’t say much, though. And I’ve read most of it everywhere else, but _ this _\--” he points at the poem. “This I’ve never seen anywhere else. I think this is why it’s all chained up and locked away.”

“Becaaaaause it’s bad, bad news, bad omens,” Jooheon says in that tone he uses when he’s trying to steer Changkyun’s mind away from pursuing dangerous leads. “I mean, Black Cathedral is abandoned _ and _ in the middle of Aureum. It could very well be swarming with monsters...”

“I _ know _it’s not,” Changkyun says, looking up at Jooheon. “Wanna know how I know it’s not?”

Jooheon blinks. “I have a feeling you’ll tell me either way?”

Changkyun pokes Jooheon’s forehead. “Boop. They have priests sanctify the ground every three days. Monsters can’t step onto holy ground, so... No monsters.”

Jooheon frowns, steps aside from behind Changkyun and closer to his side to properly stare at him. “What? Really? Why would they protect such a place?”

“Right?! It makes no sense! I wanna know what’s going on in there!”

“Hm…” Jooheon glances away and crosses his arms. He seems to contemplate a few things for a moment or two and then sighs, a patient frown on his face. “Fine… But I’m coming with. Couldn’t live with myself if something happened to you because I wasn’t there to bust your ass out of it.”

“Aw,” Changkyun pouts, “You’ll come with me into that scary old cathedral? _ Aw _…”

Jooheon grumbles something to himself as he shifts from one foot to the other and then says, “Someone has to keep an eye on you… And since I can’t stop you, I might as well join you.”

Changkyun smiles, looks back to the page. “Well, I still need to figure this out aaaaaaand, you know what happens next month.”

“What,” Jooheon frowns, glancing over. “The Blood Moon?”

Changkyun wiggles his eyebrows. “_ Yes _. It’s when the massacre happened, you know.”

Jooheon’s eyes widen and he raises both his forefingers. “Oh, _ hell _ no! We’re not busting in on the _ day _ it happened?! What if there’s gho--ghosts!”

Changkyun laughs. “_ Joo _ . Holy ground, remember? Come oooon, there won’t be _ ghosts _.”

“How do you _ know?! God. _ I am bathing in incense tonight and every night up until then. _ ” _

“Want a sage necklace? I could get you a sage necklace.”

“I want you _ not _ to get us both killed. That’s what I want,” Jooheon stresses as he shakes his head and sighs, turns to walk to the door. He pauses, though, hand on the handle, and glances over his shoulder. “See you tomorrow…?”

“And the day after,” Changkyun smiles, gives a small wave. He’s seen Jooheon every day since he was a child, that won’t change any time soon.

* * *

Days turned to weeks. But it’s early and the Blood Moon has yet to shine.

Abandoned places look haunting, beautiful, without effort. Simply by embracing the elements, having green weeds grow between stones that had once been so carefully set, everything makes Changkyun think of just… magic. Ironic, considering how much the Church hates magic. 

But this place? It’s not the kind of magic they talk about in fairy tales. It feels like a far darker, deadlier magic. It’s scary. Scary in a way Changkyun ignores, because this was his idea. They’re here because of him. It wouldn’t be fair to be scared.

They sneak in through a broken window, eyes wide on everything. There is no grass peeking up between the slats. There’s just rubble, stone upon stone, glass shattered on the floor, bits where the metal is rusted and broken. The big chandeliers still hang from the vast, tall ceilings, even though some seem to be missing pieces. But, overall, the place is empty, without even an altar or any hint of having ever been used and mobilated. 

And it’s terrible, really, because they’re so obviously alone, but it feels like they’re just…

“Do you also feel like we’re being… watched?” Changkyun asks, carefully stepping over a piece of stone, crumbled, from a broken archway Changkyun sees above them.

“I--” Jooheon huffs, he’s just a few feet behind. “I was starting to wonder if I was the only one. Felt it the moment we stepped in.”

Changkyun shivers, glances around when he swears he sees something in the corner of his eye. Instead of paying attention to that--for his own sanity, maybe--he unfolds the piece of paper and rereads the poem. “Right, so, er,” Changkyun clears his throat. “Those first two lines are just… I don’t know, really, but the last two? Reads like directions. _ Ten steps West, five steps north… _ We need to go to the West Tower…” 

“West Tower…” Jooheon repeats as he walks closer, blinks as he turns in a circle to look around. “Is the West Tower the one pointing West when you _ face _ the Cathedral or when you have your back turned to it?”

“The way they built it,” Changkyun frowns, looks up. “It’s not like left and right, you know that right? It doesn’t change based on where _ you _are. West is west.”

“Then--” Jooheon blinks and points to the right. “West is that way. It’s where the sun will set.”

Changkyun nods, shivers again as he stuffs the paper back into his pocket. He starts walking, stepping over rocks and petrified pieces of wood, and looks around. 

The light here? It doesn’t feel right. It shines in through the windows, and seems to just fade before it reaches the floor. Like it dies halfway there. 

“Come on…” Changkyun says. “Believe it or not, I’d actually like to leave here sooner rather than later… This place is waaaay creepier than I thought it would be.” 

“Do you know what the massacre was about?” Jooheon asks as he follows a few steps behind, voice soft, like he doesn’t want to disturb the walls. “All I know is that people died, hundreds of people. My mother said that… something mysterious happened, that when they closed the doors for a mass, that was the last anyone saw of the people who attended.”

“That’s all I know, too,” Changkyun says, eyes flicking everywhere. There are so many dark hallways, dirty mirrors that don’t seem to reflect light. “That, and they never caught the guy who did it.”

Jooheon scoffs a small laugh. “I feel like Aureum is cursed like that… Bad guys do bad things and no one ever catches them. Maybe because the only form of police we have nowadays is The Hunter School, and they’re too busy chasing down beasts to concern themselves with the craziness of men.”

“That--” Changkyun points at Jooheon without looking. “_ Pisses me off _. Like, why is the existence of monsters an excuse for people to do the same? And these are my people, and I can’t even keep them safe from each other, never mind the monsters outside our walls…”

“Should have thought of that before you let the Church take over every single thing,” Jooheon scoffs and Changkyun throws him a glare. “Not you, specifically, but… This is the Royal Family’s doing as well as it is the Church’s.”

“Why do you think the Church hates me so much?” Changkyun scoffs, shivers at a sudden cold breeze. “They know I’m not as… complicit, as my brother, my father.”

Jooheon seems to skip to fall in step with Changkyun as he says, “And you brainwash me into it, too… The _ sin… _” He sighs. “I’m wondering… if it was a massacre, shouldn’t there be… I don’t know--” he looks around, “Something other than stone? Like… evidence?”

Changkyun raises an eyebrow. “Bodies? Joo, come on…”

“No--!” Jooheon frets. “Like… I don’t know, blood on the tiles and… I don’t know! This place just looks abandoned… if you cross the creepy, ghost-like atmosphere.”

“Think the Church cleaned the place before locking it up? That’s _ weird _. That’s concerningly odd behavior, if you ask me.”

“I mean, they only care enough about this place to keep monsters and people away, but not enough to rebuild it, so… Why clean it?”

“The Church is big on shame,” Changkyun mumbles, crossing his arms over his chest. _ It’s so cold here _. “Maybe they were ashamed, too…”

They cross the Main Hall and find themselves facing a long corridor that seems to lead to the West Tower. A corridor of broken windows and a floor so dark it seems to eat the light halfway up. There’s a reason they call this place the Black Cathedral. The white marble is greyer than it is white and the tiles in some places are as black a night without stars.

Jooheon stops and nods at the far end of the corridor. “Do we… need to cross it all the way there? When should we start counting said ten steps?”

“You ask as if I’ve done this before,” Changkyun mumbles, keeps walking. “It just says ‘Ten steps West’, not ten steps _ from _the West. So we just have to… try, I guess.”

Jooheon seems to hesitate for a moment and then starts walking again. Changkyun can hear their footsteps echo through the place. And even though Black Cathedral is in the middle of Aureum and it’s still day time, no sound can be heard from the outside.

The Black Cathedral has always been a sight to behold. Even though most of the city beyond the Palace’s walls is as decadent as this place, this church still manages to contrast against its surroundings. It sits in the middle of a large square in all its dark glory, surrounded by ravaged old buildings and rakish streets. And even though carriages, chariots, carts and buggies roll around the square every now and then, no one dares to get too close to the exquisitely detailed iron fences that surround Black Cathedral’s grounds.

No one except Changkyun, apparently. And Jooheon, obviously, who always gets dragged into whatever his best friend has planned for the day whether it be good or bad.

“We’ve walked more than ten steps and we’re barely halfway through this corridor,” Jooheon mumbles, giving a quick run to catch up with Changkyun. “Ten steps West and… how-many steps North? We’ll just be bumping into walls.”

Changkyun frowns. “Yeah, that doesn’t--” he looks around, “Make sense… Oh!” Changkyun snaps his fingers, points at Jooheon with a smile. “Steps! I got it!”

Jooheon makes a face and stops walking. “Huh? Got what?”

“Uhm--” Changkyun looks around and then turns back, hurries over pieces of rock and wood towards the back of the church, where the priest would have stood a little higher than everyone else, using--“Steps!” Changkyun says again, triumphantly, holding up the small wooden stepping stool. “See?”

Jooheon appears running from the West Hall and huffs as he slows down in the middle of the Main Hall. He almost trips on a rock when he turns to look at Changkyun, his eyes just thin lines as he frowns and seems to process what Changkyun is trying to tell him.

“Oh,” Jooheon huffs, then, shifts his weight from one foot to the other and tilts his head. “Like… stairs? Step up… stairs?”

“Exactly! Like you said, we’d just walk into a wall, so, no walking. Steps,” Changkyun repeats again, walking over with the wooden stepping stool. “God, I hope this works or I’d have just gotten excited about steps for no reason...” 

Jooheon just gives him a confused look and then shakes his head.

They walk back to the West Tower, and Changkyun takes a breath before he puts the stool down. “Ten steps. How am I gonna take ten steps on this tiny thing?” Changkyun takes the three steps it has, frowns at the wall. 

“Oh,” Jooheon chirps. “I think I know…?”

Changkyun jumps off the steps and grins delightfully at Jooheon. “Oh?”

He blinks, first at the wall and then at Changkyun. “Well, you know my father is a carpenter, right? And, uhm, he was part of the team in charge of remodeling White Cathedral. He said that when they were going over a youth room, they found an elaborate system of pulleys hidden in the walls. They were cut off but… it indicated the existence of an old, sliding door. They were either taken down or walls were built around the door, the whole system forgotten.” Jooheon shrugs and crosses his arms, glances at the wall. “White Cathedral’s foundations date back from the same time as Black Cathedral’s, right? They’re twin churches. So… maybe… there are secret passageways?”

Changkyun blinks, puts his hands on his hips. “The White Cathedral has secret passageways and you only tell me about it _ now _?!”

“They’re closed off!” Jooheon laughs. “It’s literally just… doors between walls that just lead to more walls. But yes? I suppose they do exist… somewhere underneath all that. We can’t just infiltrate White Cathedral, though. It’s the Church’s _ house.” _

“I _ know _ , but it’s still _ cool _,” Changkyun puffs, looking back to the wall. “Twin churches. The button, or whatever, is probably high up if they want us to take all those steps.”

“Not a button, I think--” Jooheon says as he looks around. “A sliding door. Apply enough pressure and push and it should… work, given that the pulleys and wheel engines are working.” Jooheon blinks, eyes on the West Corridor. He points at it and walks towards it without leaving the square chamber they’re in. From there, he walks ten steps forward, towards the West, but still falls short of any wall. “What if you’re right… but instead of up… it’s--” Jooheon looks to his feet. “Down.”

Changkyun frowns, walking closer, looking to Jooheon’s feet as well. “Did you bring a shovel?” he jokes. “I must have forgotten mine.”

Jooheon frowns, too. “No… But…” He takes the stool from Changkyun’s hands and puts it down right where he’d taken that fifth step. “Alright, climb on and look around. See anything shiny?”

“For someone who acts indignant about these adventures, you sure have a knack for it,” Changkyun smiles, jumping on top of the stool and looking around, squinting at the lack of light.

“I have a good teacher?” Jooheon says as he looks up, loosely holds one of Changkyun’s fingers as if that will keep him from falling down the stool. Changkyun wraps that finger around Jooheon’s and keeps looking, squints when he sees something reflect for a second. Reflect where there shouldn’t be anything at all. “I think I see it?”

Jooheon smiles. “Ohoh? Where?”

Changkyun pulls Jooheon forward by the finger. “Go over there. You know the last line? Extend your hand and let death come forth? Maybe it’s as literal as that.”

Jooheon frowns and walks towards the wall Changkyun keeps looking at. “Extend… my hand?” Jooheon asks, pausing just a few inches away from the stone wall and raising his hand. “And let Death come forth… _ God, _ I better not die--” he says as he pushes his hand against the cold rock.

It clicks with a sound that echoes, and then literally slides in a few inches in. Jooheon finds himself sliding it to the side with ease, and mechanism can be heard behind it all, wheels turning upon wheels as the walls nearby shake and dust falls down to the floor.

It’s a door. A door that leads into a small tunnel, into a stairway that does indeed go down.

Changkyun gapes as he walks closer, and then shakes at Jooheon’s arm. “Oh, that is_ cool _…”

Jooheon’s eyes are wide, and he takes a shallow breath to ask, “I… didn’t die, did I?”

Changkyun pinches Jooheon’s arm and he jumps. “Why? You feel dead?”

“No!” Jooheon hisses, slaps Changkyun’s hand away and then rubs over the spot. “I swear you have tweezers for fingers… That hurt.”

“You’re just soft,” Changkyun scoffs, looks down at the open door, the stairway, goosebumps erupt, and a shiver works its way down his back. He ignores it, though. But it’s creepy, there’s no way around _ that _. “Wanna see what secrets lie beneath?” Changkyun asks Jooheon, grinning wickedly despite the pit in his stomach.

Jooheon takes a breath and gestures vaguely despite how very _ not _ inclined he seems to be. “Well, gentlemen first? You know, status and money before lack thereof?” He shrugs and looks at Changkyun and smiles small but teasing. “Your Highness?”

Changkyun rolls his eyes, “_ Hell _no,” he laughs, worms his arm in around Jooheon’s. It’s a comfort. A small one, but still, a comfort. “Together?”

Jooheon just shivers and nods faintly as he looks down. “God, this manages to be more terrifying than marriage…”

“If there’s a bride waiting at the end of this creepy ass hallway, I’m out,” Changkyun scoffs, takes the first step and brings Jooheon with him. 

A shadow catches the corner of Changkyun’s eye and he whips around, sure that the door must have closed, or that a bat, _ something _, must have moved behind him, but there’s just nothing. He swallows, keeps moving forward without saying anything. No need to freak Jooheon out, too. 

It’s a really long, creepy corridor, with a lot of steps. And as if God Himself, if such is real, has a whim, the colours of the world around them, of the walls that seem to be pressing in, seem to be turning darker than black.

“Do you have matches?” Jooheon asks, stumbles a little down a step and clings to Changkyun’s arm. “I--Shit… I can’t see squat!”

“Yeah, me neither, should have brought that damn lantern,” Changkyun mumbles, feels at his chest pocket and fumbles for the small box of matches, feeling inside the box he slides open. “Only a few, though. Just… feel along the walls, we’ll use them if we need to, I’m sure there will be light at some point… Feel for a torch we can light, maybe? There has to be _ something _, shit...”

“Alright, alright… Careful, though, these steps are small, it’s easy to slip.”

“I’d say you worry too much but right now I kinda appreciate it,” Changkyun mumbles, holding Jooheon’s arm a little closer. Small comfort, right?

Changkyun jolts, though, when a few minutes later, his foot doesn’t go as far down as he’d have thought for another step, but instead just reaches to the floor. Changkyun curses under his breath and squints around. “Just me or have your eyes kinda started to adjust to this?”

“I--” Jooheon starts but pauses. He seems to be feeling for the wall. “I don’t know, I feel like there are shadows in the wrong places.”

“I’m trying not to think about that, really,” Changkyun says, still squinting around, letting go of Jooheon’s arm only to take his hand. “I think we should hurry up…”

“Yeah,” Jooheon agrees. “Or we’ll have to spend the night in this place. Which… I’m not keen on, to be honest. Shi--” There’s a loud sound, like metal falling on the floor. “Shit… Sorry, that was me.”

“Pretty sure you don’t sound like that when you fall,” Changkyun says, reaching for the sound. It feels cold in his grip. Like a metal rod? “This not being able to see thing is making me antsy.”

“Use one of the matches, maybe?”

Changkyun reaches for his pocket again, lights a match and feels himself wince at the sudden spark of light. And it looks… nothing like what Changkyun was expecting, a dungeon, maybe, with long stone halls. But this? This looks like a clinic.

“What the fuck?” Changkyun breathes, standing up and looking around, rod in hand. 

There are flasks, old, rusted tables, old books and metal tools. There’s dry blood… everywhere. What has to be blood, even with how old it is, black against metal and stone. Changkyun rushes forward, though, metal rod in hand, when the match starts flickering. 

“We need to make a torch, shit, er--” he looks up, sees that some of the flasks still hold liquid inside. He can’t read the labels, though. It’s in… Latin? Seriously, what the fuck. He finds a piece of cloth, though, wraps it around the end of the metal rod, looks to Jooheon and back over to the flasks. “Think any of those are flammable?”

Jooheon looks up, swallows. “Er… Isn’t ‘ethyl’ a word?” He points at one of the flasks. “I’ve seen it before, on the flasks of ethanol that you can get from the pharmacies. Ethyl alcohol.”

“Oooh, yes, gimme that,” Changkyun says, tying a knot with the cloth and holding his hand out, wincing when the match starts burning at his fingers. Jooheon hands over the flask and Changkyun pours it over the cloth, moves the match to it and laughs when it lights up. “Great! Oh, thank god… Did not wanna be in this creepy ass clinic without a light…”

“You and me both,” Jooheon huffs, starts looking around. “God, this place is… awful. And I say this, knowing that our city grounds aren’t much better.”

Changkyun scoffs, moving the make-shift torch to look around. “Remember, up there, you mentioned it being really clean? Maybe _ this _is where the massacre happened… Certainly looks like it…”

Jooheon whimpers a little and crosses his arms tight over his chest. “Think the ghosts inhabit this dungeon-like clinic?”

Changkyun rolls his eyes. “For the millionth time, there are no--”

A loud, high pitched sound echoes from the end of another hallway and Changkyun whips around, eyes wide, Jooheon screaming in a short but equally high pitched voice.

Changkyun swallows. “Ghosts.”

“Can we--” Jooheon whispers. “Can we leave now…?”

Another, loud noise, from the other side of where they are. This time, very easily placed.

“I think,” Changkyun swallows. “That was the door closing upstairs.”

“Yep,” Jooheon says then, with certainty, “Today, _ we die.” _

“There has to be another way out,” Changkyun says, looks over and reaches for Jooheon’s hand again. “Come on. Only way out, is in..”

“That is a peculiar way of putting it,” Jooheon mumbles as he follows, sticking to Changkyun’s side like a magnet.

The stillness of the air around them seems to suck even the sound of their footfalls, even though Changkyun can hear them echo a little. They leave the first room and follow through one of the corridors. And even though none of them seem to be consciously counting, they both seem to stop at the fifth step as they walk into another room.

“I think,” Changkyun swallows, looking around what looks like… a shrine? “This is it. Whatever it is.”

Jooheon blinks. “You know what’s weird?” he asks. “That it was a massacre, that there’s blood everywhere down here, but that there are no bones left…”

“Another thing not to think about,” Changkyun mumbles, eyes drawn to the center of the shrine. If that’s even what it is. It’s a stone sort of table, intricate carving behind it, statues surrounding it. There’s not a drop of blood, just a dagger. And it honestly looks just like every other dagger Changkyun has ever seen, but he can’t stop looking at it.

On both sides of the chamber, there are two corridors. One seems to lead West and the other seems to lead East. Jooheon slowly ambulates towards the left side of the room and sort of clings to the wall before noticing the blood splashed on it.

“I think that’s a… tank?” he says as he peeks into the room after the corridor. “There’s chains and… ropes? Shit… This…” He turns to look at Changkyun and then peeks into the corridor on the right side of the chamber. It seems to lead into another room. “What the hell…” Jooheon mutters as he walks towards whatever he’s looking at.

Changkyun, however, doesn’t pay him or anything else much mind, his eyes barely leaving the dagger on the stone table. It just sits there, as if someone left it there by mistake, placed it down and forgot about it.

“Uhm, hey, Kyun?” Jooheon calls from the room on the right. “I think you should come check this out…”

Changkyun steps closer to the table, because suddenly he just… wants to. Overwhelmingly, almost. “Mm? What is it?” Changkyun asks, as he lets himself get pulled into this center of gravity, blinking when the dagger glints in the light.

“This looks like a torture chamber of some sort? But also… medical? There are… cages? And cells. I’m… Are these… _ human tongues…? _ Gross! There are flasks with innards in here, what the hell!”

“Do you see a way out?” Changkyun asks, oddly unphased by the thought of human remains, tongues and innards. 

“I, er--” the sound of some flasks clicking echoes through the chamber. “Wait. Let me--”

Changkyun shivers, eyes shifting to his side because he could have _ sworn _… Nope, nothing. And when he looks forward again, there’s no hesitation, he just reaches out and grabs the dagger by the hilt.

The sorrowful embrace that consumes him in that second makes the room seem darker than it was before. And when a breath of wind puts out the flame like a blown whisper, Changkyun hears a voice behind his ear.

_ “Death is coming to purge this town. I know your name and I’m going to hunt you down.” _

Changkyun screams and drops the torch, makes to throw the dagger across the room, but it’s not in his hand anymore. 

Jooheon comes rushing out the other room, eyes wide on Changkyun. “What…? Are you alright? What happened?”

Changkyun’s heart beats loud in his chest and he can feel panic settling in. “Did--Did you hear that? The voice?”

“Uhm, voice…? Your voice…?” Jooheon asks, suddenly looking terrified. “I--I just heard you scream…”

Changkyun swallows, fumbles for the torch, unlit, on the floor, hands shaking. “We--We need to get out of here, I…” he looks around, can’t see that dagger anywhere. He picks up the torch, drops it when his hands keep shaking. It really does feel like Changkyun just touched death itself. “Oh god…”

Jooheon seems to go a little pale, but he nods. “The--There’s another corridor after this room?” he says as he points behind him. “I don’t know where it leads but we can try following it.”

“Can you pick this up?” Changkyun asks, ignores the panic in his voice. _ What the fuck was that _? And in that thought, the ground rumbles, Changkyun’s eyes going wide when the ceiling starts shedding rocks. “Fuck--” Changkyun gets up, reaches for Jooheon and pulls him towards the corridor. “We’ve gotta run, come on!”

“What--” Jooheon huffs, squeezes Changkyun’s hand and sprints with him.

They stumble into the next room and Changkyun barely has time to look at the contraptions on the walls and floor. Metal cuffs, chains. Changkyun almost trips over something, heart in his ears as he pushes Jooheon out in front of him. 

There’s another corridor, long and dark. It goes on and on and on, without ever seeming to end. And when Jooheon falls in front of Changkyun, Changkyun falls over him, feels his body hit a flight of stairs, too.

“_ Ow _,” Changkyun groans, knows he’s going to be bruised everywhere, but spartles up, pulling Jooheon along. “Come on, we have to--”

Jooheon screams. When Changkyun looks down, it’s just a hand, nothing else. Just a hand, bleeding, limp in his. Changkyun screams and lets go, falling backwards, onto the stairs. And again, a voice echoes behind his ear.

_ “You can run, hide and pray. But I’m going to cut them down…” _

Changkyun twists around, away from the voice, wide eyes seeing nothing. Just black. 

“Dude!” Jooheon calls, grabs Changkyun and pulls him up. “What the hell _ are you doing?! _ Come on! Careful with the steps!” 

“Jooheon?” Changkyun hears himself ask, voice breaking because… _ I thought you were dead… _A rock falling nearby snaps him out of it and he runs again towards a slither of light he can see at the top of the stairs.

They crash against wood, a door that seems to bounce but not open. Still, Jooheon pulls Changkyun back and then the two of them run towards it, shoulders smashing the door open, the two of them falling into a puddle of mud.

The air feels damp, all of a sudden. And when Changkyun looks up, he finds himself staring at the old, abandoned hospital, now just a building full of ghosts. Behind them, the entrance that leads into the corridor that seems to collapse deep down. Further behind, the towers of Black Cathedral shining in a deep red as a giant crimson moon rises in the background.

Jooheon slowly stands up, tries to get rid of the mud that sticks to his clothes. “Shit… The hospice? Of course it leads to the old hospice… _ of course…” _

Trees stripped down to ground envelop the scenery. And in the distance, among buildings and burning pyres, a loud bell rings to announce the end of the day.

“Shit--” Jooheon says, reaches for Changkyun’s arm. “Come on! Snap out of it! We gotta run!”

Out of it? Out of what?

That’s when Changkyun blinks, realises he’s staring at the sky turning red. Realises just how loud his heart is beating. Realises he needs to get Jooheon back to the castle, before the monsters come.

“Y--Yeah,” Changkyun stutters, and his legs, his chest hurts. His hand? It seems to burn. 

The bell rings again and the night begins to settle. In the sky, the Blood Moon lights up the way home.

* * *

Changkyun is exhausted. He gets back to his room, washes the mud off of him without a thought, just letting his body get itself ready for bed. 

He falls asleep the moment his head hits the pillow and for that, he’s grateful. Except such gratefulness only catches on when his conscience emerges from the depths of sleep. 

Changkyun can’t say he’s awake, but he’s not exactly asleep either. It's like the limbo, neither here nor there. Just a sense of awareness that he can’t control. A sense of awareness that doesn’t go beyond his five senses.

_ “I searched the shadows,” _ a voice, prim and proper with an icy undertone, says behind his ear, _ “I see you wear a crown.” _

A touch soothes down his neck, something cold but also warm. It soothes him, too, even as goosebumps erupts over his skin.

_ “You freed me,” _ the voice says, now low and deep, _ “But I don’t bring forgiveness or peace. What I have to offer is so much sweeter… “ _

The touch seems to sooth down his chest, under his shirt, over his stomach that tightens at the sensation. 

_ “And you’ll reach for it. And you’ll take it. Or I’ll take you instead.” _

Just like that, it’s gone, leaving behind nothing but a ghost of a touch, a whisper on Changkyun’s skin. And it tingles, like electricity, so when he opens his eyes, he’s curled up on himself, dick straining in his pants. But he shuts his eyes again, hugging tightly at his pillow.

_ It’s just a dream, it’s just a nightmare. _

* * *

Massive amounts of wind seem to be born from music. They dance on red and black clouds, vagrant and puffy as they are. When the wind teases them, they roll and takes shape, turn bigger as they move freely in the sky as if they own freedom itself. Yet, when it rains, it isn’t water.

Changkyun looks at his hands and sees blood. It falls from high above and drops onto his palms. But when he looks up, it isn’t falling from the sky but from corpses hanging from the ceiling.

Suddenly, on the floor of the Palace, blood flows in newborn veins. They wrap around the servants, wrap around his brother and father, climb up his mother’s legs, under her dress, and emerge from the bodice and strangle her neck.

Changkyun’s heart picks up, his breathing paces, too. And when the bodies fall on the floor like lifeless dolls, daggers like the one Changkyun remembers from the day before are stuck in their chests.

When he looks down, he sees a dagger in his hand, too. And when he can’t breathe anymore, he looks up and sees red eyes staring into his own.

‘Did I do this?’ Changkyun wants to ask, but his voice doesn’t come out.

_ “No,” _ a familiar voice says. _ “But you will.” _

“I won’t,” he insists, and feels a sharp, singular pain, looks down and the dagger is buried in his chest as he stumbles back, gasping, bleeding all over himself without dying. “No! I won’t!”

_ “You’ll take their hearts,” _ the voice says. _ “Or I will take yours instead.” _

Changkyun opens his eyes wide and they flood with the light of day. When he sits up, mostly in a hurry, heart heavy and beating fast, breaths erratic, the room is his own, untouched. But…

But his fingers… they’re wet and red. 

Changkyun freezes, wide eyes on his hands, and when he screams, hurrying out of his bed, everything he touches turns bloody and crimson. 

“No, I didn’t--It was just a dream,” Changkyun tells himself, heart loud. When he looks to the mirror, his heart jumps because--well, he could have sworn it looked like there was somebody else standing by his bed. Someone, but all Changkyun had seen was bright red eyes.

Now it’s gone, if it was ever really there. The shadow, the person, whatever it was. It’s gone, and so are the bloody stains on his hands.

The light of day shines through the window, casts shadows behind any obstacle it encounters. But even though everything seems fine, even though the sun is shining right outside, Changkyun is afraid.

And fear… fear crawls up his back and takes a hold of his throat like no other.

So, Changkyun runs. Runs out of his room and passes the maids, the chimney boys with cheeks blushed with ash. He runs down the stone stairs and towards Jooheon’s room.

It’s locked. It’s always locked, but today it just makes the panic in Changkyun’s throat rise, hands jostling at the door handle.

“Joo? Joo, p-please, please open up…”

The sound comes. _ Nothing. _ And it’s probably seconds--seconds that feel like hours--before there’s a click and the door opens, Jooheon peeking out with eyes in slits.

“What…” he mumbles, voice hoarse from desuse. He frowns and blinks, eyes going a little wide when he looks at Changkyun’s face. “What… Kyun, what’s wrong?”

“I’m--” Changkyun looks at Jooheon, and he’s suddenly just… so happy, because he’s okay. Jooheon is okay. “I had a nightmare. A few, actually, I--” he swallows. “Can I…?”

Jooheon blinks and nods, slowly before pulling the door open and taking Changkyun’s hand. “Of course, obviously,” Jooheon mumbles as he pulls Changkyun inside and leans forward just enough to peek outside before he closes the door.

Changkyun glances to Jooheon’s mirror, heart jumping when he _ swears he sees _\--but instead of dwelling on it, he takes the blanket over the chair and throws it over the mirror. He looks at his hand. It doesn’t burn, it’s not red, but it’s still there. That tingle.

“Can,” Changkyun swallows, stumbling to Jooheon’s bed. “Can we just sleep… I’m tired…”

“Yeah, of course,” Jooheon says as he turns to the bundle of sheets and blankets that looks more like a nest than a bed. “Jump in.”

Changkyun smiles small, and it’s warm when he ducks in under all the blankets, sighing in relief. “That place was… real fucked up, dude...”

“If even you are getting nightmares,” Jooheon scoffs as he gets in bed, tugs at the blankets and covers himself, “Yeah… It was hard to fall asleep last night…”

“Did you also have dreams?” Changkyun asks, feels his knees bump against Jooheon’s under the covers.

Jooheon squishes his cheek against the pillow and sighs, eyes on Changkyun’s face. “Not really…? I don’t think so… I just… I don’t know, had chills and couldn’t fall asleep because my mind would get creative. I guess I just passed out… ‘cause I don’t remember falling asleep, at all.”

“Same,” Changkyun says, voice soft, eyelids heavy. “Next time I have a stupid idea like that, knock some sense into me…”

“I can try,” Jooheon chuckles. “But I don’t think it will work very well.”

“True,” Changkyun yawns into the pillow. “I’m an idiot…”

“That you are, Kyunie,” Jooheon says as he nuzzles in and sighs. “That you are.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now playing: Omen by SIE Sound Team.
> 
> [YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cKk6XqcmB4Q) / [Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/6vco1QREVy81DRKZymHfL2)


	2. Uada

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And, when he walks, it’s like walking through a field of red flowers, even though his shoes are soaking in the red that ripples with each step he takes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uada - Haunted
> 
> [ cw for attempted rape ]

_ “The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown.” _

_ _ H. P. Lovecraft _ _

_ _ _ _

Changkyun dreams that he kills Jooheon. And when he wakes up, Jooheon is next to him, eyes red, and kills him first. Changkyun shuts his eyes, as tight as he can, blankets up over himself as he curls into a ball, because that’s all he can do. That, and ignore the voice, the touch.

_ “You know you want it,” _ it says, the touch that accompanies it soothing Changkyun despite what it seems to want from him. _ “You know you do…” _

_ I don’t, I don’t, I don’t. _

_ “Yes, you do,” _ the voice whispers, touch trailing down Changkyun’s arm, _ “You fantasise about it. You dream about it. You crave it…” _

Changkyun touches at his arm, holds it close, shoulders inwards as he makes himself as small as possible. But the touch moves back up, starts at his shoulder and trails down his back. Changkyun can feel it under his shirt, even though nothing moves underneath it.

_ “You want it… You know you do. It’s a sweet, rousing feeling, you’ll see…” _

_ I’m not _ \-- Changkyun thinks, because he knows. He knows what the voice wants. _ I’m not killing anyone _.

The touch moves to his side, hips, hipbone and then down to his thigh. It leaves a trail of goosebumps behind. When it stops, it’s only for a heartbeat, before it slides to his inner thigh, which makes Changkyun jolt up, ignoring the pull at his gut.

_ “Say you want it,” _ the voice whispers in his ear.

“No!” Changkyun yells, hands to his head, legs in against his chest. 

“Kyun?” Jooheon calls, and Changkyun feels a hand on his shoulder. “Hey… You okay?”

Changkyun flinches away, against the headboard, heart loud and skin still tingling. He rubs his hand over himself, fast, like trying to get rid of an itch without scratching. “Don’t, I--I don’t wanna hurt you.”

“Wha--What?” Jooheon asks, shifts next to him. “Hey. Changkyun, look at me. What’s going on?”

“I don’t know,” he says and--_ by the prophet, _ can his dick _ not?! _ “Ugh, I--” he scratches his hand through his hair. “I don’t know… Something’s seriously wrong with me.”

“What do you _ mean _, something’s wrong with you?”

“I--” Changyun looks up. “I don’t want you to think I’m crazy, Joo…”

Jooheon huffs a laugh and smiles, combs through Changkyun’s hair. “Don’t we both know you are as crazy as they come? Yet I’m still here.”

“You don’t get it,” Changkyun says, voice in a whisper, like the walls have ears. “I’m--I’m hearing voices, Joo. It feels like--like something’s touching me but nothing’s there…”

Jooheon blinks, frowns and then makes a face. “Er… maybe your brain is playing tricks on you? It happens. Like when we stumbled upon that butt-ugly armor in that graveyard and then I kept dreaming about it and seeing it everywhere.”

Changkyun frowns, shaking his head. “You know I’m not like that,” he says, takes a breath and presses the pads of his hands to his eyes, rubbing at them. 

“Hm,” Jooheon hums. He shifts and slowly lies back again. “Well, it’s almost lunch time… and it’s sunny outside? Maybe we can go out. Might do you some good.”

“Okay,” Changkyun agrees, nodding against his hands. _ Sunlight. _Not a bad idea.

* * *

There are no birds in Aureum. Some people still remember the stories their grandparents told them about the nightingale-made-singers that would fly to their windowsills and chirp their songs every single morning. But nowadays, there’s only the howl of the wind that carries the dogs’ with it.

It’s sunny, though. And that gives a decadent city like Aureum another light, a brighter light. It casts the shadows away, it makes it look like a city that went through a war during the night and survived to see another day.

Jooheon takes Changkyun to the carpenter's shop near the Main Gate. They have lunch there, chicken pie--Mrs. Lee cooks the best pies in the world. Not even the Palace’s cook can replicate Mrs. Lee’s pies despite having been given instructions on how to prepare them.

Overall, it feels like catching some sunlight did the trick. Changkyun feels better, even if a little antsy, but he has a good afternoon.

It’s on the way back, though, that it starts again. 

Jooheon is _ not _ just Changkyun’s best friend, someone who was given permission to live within the Palace so he could entertain the youngest prince who wouldn’t sit still when people wanted him to. So, when he gets called to run an errand for Changkyun’s older brother, Changwoo, Changkyun finds himself alone again, surrounded by walls that hear and see better than any person.

At first, it’s just an unsettling pain in his stomach, an anxiety that corrodes. But then he feels it, _ that touch, _ soothing over his skin, up his neck and then his jaw. Changkyun grits his teeth and bares it, eyes scrunched closed. 

It’s not real, it can’t be real.

The touch curls behind his ear, feels at his earlobe, and then moves down again, to his shoulder, his arm, like fingertips leaving ghost-like touches all the way down to his hand.

“If all you want,” Changkyun says, through gritted teeth, chin up like that gives him some upper hand. “Is for me to kill people, why are you touching me like this?”

The ghost-like touch goes away. But before Changkyun can breathe out, he feels fingers curl around his neck, a hand at his throat. It doesn’t squeeze, it just presses, like a preview. It forces him to tilt his chin up even more, and he feels a breath against his skin, right under his ear.

Changkyun swallows down the fear, says, evenly, “Go on, then...”

The pressure around his neck tightens a little. And it stays, even when more touch moves down Changkyun’s chest, light fingertips over his stomach. Changkyun grits his teeth, bites so hard onto his bottom lip it actually hurts.

“Having fun, oh disembodied nightmare of mine?” Changkyun grits out, opens his eyes to glare at the ceiling.

The answer is silence. But the ghost-like fingertips move further down, until Changkyun feels something press against his crotch just before the feeling envelops it.

Changkyun huffs, forces himself not to squirm. “What--what are you?”

_ “Eternal,” _ a whisper says against Changkyun’s ear and the pressure around his neck eases for a moment before it tightens again just as the enveloping feeling on his crotch moves against him.

Changkyun keeps his glare aimed at the ceiling, hand gripping at the edge of the wooden chair he can feel himself melting off of. The worst part is that it feels good, whatever this is. 

“With time… even death may die,” Changkyun says, frowns to keep his eyes open.

_ “Only when there’s nothing left alive,” _ the voice says and it just seems to lull Changkyun’s mind with the way it whispers. 

The pressure around Changkyun’s neck eases again and he feels it scratch lightly at his throat. The feeling that envelops his crotch shifting to press solely against his dick.

Changkyun fights back a moan, hates the way the feeling lulls him the way the voice does, too, and he just… Gives in, lets himself feel it, lets his brain go mute despite how loud it screams at him. _ What are you doing, Changkyun! _

The touches are more teasing than satisfying, but each and every single one of them makes Changkyun’s body crave for more. They press against him, they scratch at him and they pull at the feeling weighing inside his stomach.

Changkyun barely notices that he’s moving slightly against any pressure that will relieve the tension until said tension snaps and he comes in his pants.

With a ghost-like lingering touch, the voice says, _ “I am Death. And you… enjoy it.” _ And with that, it’s gone.

And all at once, the fear rushes back.

* * *

The bells ring, the way they do every day, when the sun sets, but they seem… Louder, tonight. Perhaps, Changkyun thinks, because it means more. Because the monsters don’t seem to stay outside, these days. Not when one lives inside his head.

But nothing happens. 

Jooheon is busy, so Changkyun is alone, and while that scares him, knowing of this presence that seems to haunt him, now, nothing happens. No shadows in the mirror, no voice, no touch.

Changkyun sits on his bed, eyes open, arms around his legs and looking every which way, for probably hours. Hours of just waiting for something to go wrong, but nothing does.

In retrospect, Changkyun should have known it was a very, very false sense of security he was being given. But in the moment, it just feels like relief. Like the opportunity to sleep without fearing having to close his eyes.

Because when he does, the nightmares come.

It smells sweet. The floor is scarlet like blood. And when Changkyun looks down he sees a butcher’s knife in his hand, thick red droplets sticking to it like stars stick to the night sky.

Maybe he should panic. But he feels oddly calm. And, when he walks, it’s like walking through a field of red flowers, even though his shoes are soaking in the red that ripples with each step he takes.

He looks at the knife again. But when he looks back up, he sees someone standing right in front of him. Someone of the same height as him. Someone without a face.

Quickly, as if summoned at sight, anger boils inside Changkyun’s chest. And anger quickly mixes with fear and something else he can’t name. It curls all the way up to his mind and makes his vision go foggy. It wraps around his neck, too. And when he pushes the knife forward, knowing that will make it stop, will make it all stop, he feels an enveloping feeling between his legs, feels his stomach pull in anticipation.

The person in front of him falls down, a knife in their ribs, blood spilling to the floor. And Changkyun should be afraid, he should. But he made it stop. And now all he feels is relief and a sensation of release.

_ “It feels good, doesn’t it?” _ a familiar voice asks in a soothing voice. _ “Fear is a shackle implanted in you to stop you from following your impulses. Given the chance, given the power, everyone wants it, everyone begs for it… And all it takes is the first step. The rest follow all the same, so easily it feels like breathing. And the one thing you will never forget, is how good it felt to end it. All of it.” _

_ It’s murder _, Changkyun thinks, watches the knife reappear in his hand and slowly unfurls his fingers, letting it clatter to the floor.

_ “Just a word, like any other. And words are whatever you make of them. To kill or to be killed, that’s the world we live in… That’s the life you lead. The dinner on your table was killed for you, too.” _

Changkyun looks at his hand, blinks, and the knife is back. _ No. _

_ “You call for it even when you say ‘no’. You want it, you know you do.” _

_ If you want me so badly, just take me. _ Changkyun breathes out. There’s fear, there, but he lets it go, too. _ I’m not killing anyone. _

_ “Oh,” _ the voice says and it sounds amused. _ “Maybe you already have.” _

_ Wha _\--

His eyes focus, and he finally sees the truth of what’s in front of him. His brother, Changwoo, wide eyed and staring up at him, at the knife in his hand--the dagger, from that stone table, from that stone table in a Cathedral now crumbled into rubble and dust. The dagger from his nightmares.

“No,” Changkyun chokes out, throws the dagger across the room and scrambles away from his brother, heart in his throat. “Nononono--”

“Changkyun…?” Changwoo breathes out. “Wha… What--”

The doors open and people barge in, two soldiers and five servants. They stop, eyes wide on both Changkyun and his brother.

“Your Highnesses,” one of the soldiers calls, “What’s going on?”

Changkyun looks and the dagger is gone, so he looks to the soldier, knows how panicked he must seem. “Is--Is everyone alright, did--” _ Did I kill someone? _

The guards look between each other, both of them frowning. But before they can speak, Changwoo interrupts them.

“You… You were--” His eyes are wide on Changkyun’s face and Changkyun can see the fear in them. “Everyone...? Why? What did you _ do? _ What were you trying to do?! _ ” _

Changkyun shakes his head, feels his bottom lip tremble and his throat lock up. “I--I’m so sorry…” his voice breaks and, again, he feels something in his hand. The dagger. He screams, throws it against the bed and spartles up, to his feet. “I’m cursed, Changwoo, I am, you have to--you have to lock me away--”

One of the guards steps closer. “Your Highness--”

“Take him,” Changwoo says, eyes wide on Changkyun. And this time, Changkyun sees how the knife mists way, like the wind took its image with it. “Take him and get my father,” Changwoo orders, pushes Changkyun away as he gets up and mutters, “Get away from me.”

Changkyun sobs, feels armored hands around his arms, dragging him away. “Woo, I’m so sorry--”

Changwoo looks away. But underneath the conflicted expression and the confusion, Changkyun sees it and feels it too; heartbreak.

* * *

Brothers killing brothers. It’s common, Changkyun thinks, in Royal houses, with jealous, power-hungry younger brothers wanting the throne for themselves. It’s common, but Changkyun… he would never. He doesn’t want the throne, doesn’t want any of it. He loves his brother, he would never hurt him.

But he almost did.

He very, very almost did.

And now, he doesn’t even have a corner to sit in. The room they put him in is in one of the towers, a circular room with one door and one window, a high roof with wooden beams, dark tiles. And maybe he belongs here, now. Because he didn’t kill his brother, but he very almost did.

Changkyun brings up his hand, looks at it for minutes. Five? Ten? He’s not sure.

And then he thinks about it, thinks of the weight of that dagger in his hand, and it’s there. Like magic. Like a curse.

“You’ve screwed yourself,” Changkyun mutters under his breath. “Not killing anyone from in here…”

No one answers. No voice. No touch. But when the moonlight catches the blade, it glints and, for a split second, Changkyun sees red eyes staring back at him.

He tilts his head, smiles at the eyes, and says, “Hello.”

The crimson stares back until it looks away, towards where the sound of footsteps passes close to the door. It’s just a guard making rounds, Changkyun knows that. Knows that so long as all he hears is the sound of armored boots clinking against the stone, he won’t have to look any cleric in the eye any time soon.

Because, _ yes. _ They’re totally calling the Church to step into this matter, like they always do.

_ “You could call for him,” _ the voice says and the red eyes reflected on the dagger look back at him. _ “He’d come. And he’d be an easy target.” _

Changkyun narrows his eyes, lifts the knife until it’s at eye level. “Didn’t know you cared for easy targets…”

_ “All targets are easy if you have me.” _

“Stupid distinction, then,” Changkyun says, drops his hand and looks away. The worst part is that he got himself into this mess, by being nosy, ‘adventurous’ despite not knowing what the hell he’s doing. And now he’s got a demon knife stuck to him. What did he think was gonna happen? 

_ “Isn’t there anyone you hate more than anything in the world?” _ the voice asks, soft for the kind of question it’s asking.

“Thing? Yes. One? No. Why do you wanna kill so badly, mm?” Changkyun asks, bringing the knife up again to look at those red eyes. 

There’s amusement in them, in the way they narrow slightly. _ “Would you ask the sun why it shines? What a stupid question, that one. You can do better.” _

Changkyun scoffs. “Oh, shut up. You’re seriously telling me you want to kill people simply because you’re a weapon? How simple. How _ dull _. You can do better.”

The red eyes stare back for a moment. A very _ pregnant _ moment. And then the voice says, _ “I see. Is the lack of excitement and enthusiasm over this blade what’s keeping you then? What would you prefer? Up close and personal? More than a dagger? Or would you have it easier… if you could shoot from afar and keep it impersonal?” _

Changkyun rolls his eyes and tosses the dagger aside. “It’s not the shape of you that’s keeping me. I keep myself.”

His hand weights, suddenly. And when he looks at it, he’s holding a machete instead of just a simple dagger.

“Bit barbaric, don’t you think?”

The weight shifts again and the breeze seems to steal the image of the machete, quickly replacing it with something longer and sharper, a rapier sword with a shell swept hilt.

Changkyun can’t help but smile because… “You really think I’ll get the sudden urge to murder just from you being a different type of weapon?”

_ “You’d be surprised with how much that matters.” _

And the rapier sword changes into an ornate broadsword, detailed carvings all over the blade, taking shape and making the light reflect in different patterns.

“Pretty,” Changkyun says, breezily. “Still not a murderer.”

_ “Everyone is a murderer. Before and after they’ve killed someone. Simply because everyone has the potential within themselves.” _

“With that logic, you can call everyone a daisy flower, with how we’ll all die and decompose into the earth,” Changkyun huffs.

_ “Daisy flower… is that what you want me to call you… Changkyun?” _

“I’m good with Changkyun, thanks.”

_ “Daisy flower it is, then.” _

“Still not a murderer.”

_ “I will happily show you how very wrong you are.” _

Changkyun brings the blade up to his face, finds those eyes. “Tell me _ why _ first… You can’t really expect me to believe you, why something so out of the ordinary wants something so simple for such simple reasons…”

Once again, the weight on Changkyun’s hand changes, but this time the fog seems to take its time, like it’s wondering about what shape to take. When it finally moves, it takes the shape of something long, simple but elegant.

It’s a wakizashi sword, dragons carved into the metal rain-guard, hilt fixed with cloth and rope for a better grip. The blade looks sharp and it catches the silvery moonlight, even when red eyes stare up from it.

“Beautiful,” Changkyun mutters, just as he hears the door unlock and open. When he looks up, the sword is already gone. And Changkyun stands up, because there’s no _ fucking way _he’s letting a cleric look down at him.

A few people walk in; two soldiers, the King--Changkyun’s father, two clerics--a Healer and a Priest. All of them have somber expressions on their faces, but the King’s seems touched by concern, as well.

The Priest, tall, large but with no neck, head glued to his shoulders, steps forward. “What is your name, young man?”

The King frowns at the Priest, but says nothing. Probably experiencing a mixture of displeasure at Changkyun being addressed as a simple commoner, and his own inability to talk back to a man of the Church.

Changkyun, though, raises an eyebrow. “You don’t know?”

The Priest frowns, and the monotoned way in which he speaks sounds annoying. “Young man, I asked you a question. Reply.”

Changkyun crosses his arms. “Prince Im Changkyun, First of His Name. You really should know that…”

The Priest blinks and then turns just enough to glance back over his shoulder. “He seems sane. No signs of plague on his skin.”

“Eh, sometimes,” the Healer says, voice but a hush--he’s old, so he’s excused for the creepy way he sounds, “Sometimes, when in earlier stages, the insanity is intermittent. He--He might be fine now, but he won’t be later.”

Changkyun looks away, frowning. He knows it’s better to just keep his mouth shut. There’s no way to explain any of this that doesn’t end with the Church doing something Changkyun wishes they’d rather not.

“Hm,” the Priest says, turns to look at Changkyun, eyes moving up and down on him. “We can always quarantine him. Just to make sure…”

“Is that really necessary?” the King asks, earns frowns back from both clerics, frowns he takes head on with one of his own.

“Dad,” Changkyun says softly, glancing at his father, shakes his head a little. Despite how much Changkyun might not like it, the Church is powerful enough to topple this monarchy. He’d rather not they do it on his account.

The King’s frown grows harsher but he takes a deep breath and turns to walk away with a loud and strong, “Do as you please.” His footsteps echo through the tower and are deafening to Changkyun’s ears. Mostly because he _ hates _the way these clerics look at him.

For once, though, the ghost-like feeling he feels soothing up and down on his neck is more welcome than whatever might come next.

\---

It’s difficult for Changkyun to know where he is, because they threw a bag over his head once he got into the carriage. He tried to count the turns, the curves and the straight streets, but he lost himself along the way.

When the bag is removed from his head, though, he’s in another room, a cold room, walls made of stone that shines with the humidity that sticks to it, a few tables with clothes scattered here and there.

“Strip,” one of the clerics, a Healer--another Healer, tells Changkyun while busying himself with a notebook, “And then step under the rinser and pull the lever.”

Changkyun looks at it, the showerhead, the rusty faucet. “Or what?”

The cleric looks up from his notebook and blinks over the rim of his glasses. _ “Or _ we’ll make you,” he says and the other clerics, the ones busy packing clothes into bags, chuckle.

Changkyun tenses his jaw, doesn’t say anything but doesn’t make to move, either.

The clerics keep going about their business. A few tie their bags with clothes and leave, others start moving the tables around. It’s noisy, the way the wood scratches the floor, but no one seems to bother with it.

The Healer closes his notebook and fixes his glasses, pausing when he looks at Changkyun. “Ah,” he says, and he almost sounds pleased. “You’re still there.” He sighs and clicks his tongue at the remaining priests, gestures vaguely at Changkyun and then turns around and walks out through one of the doors.

Five people turn like little soldiers on command. One of them grabs Changkyun by the wrist and another does the same, while a third brings a scissor with him and starts cutting down Changkyun’s shirt. Changkyun feels anger bubble in his chest, his stomach, recognises it from his recent dreams. And it’s futile to struggle against the grips on his wrists, so tight he’s sure it’ll bruise. 

They get rid of his shirt and then undo his pants, tug them down so forcefully he almost trips and falls. And then they do the same with his underwear before pushing him towards the wall and under the rinser.

One of the clerics pulls the lever and the splash of water that hits Changkyun’s head and back feels colder than any winter he’s ever been through. He tenses up harshly, shoulders up and teeth gritting as he tries not to show his immense discomfort. _ Fucking Church _...

They do it again, and again, and again, until Changkyun can no longer feel his feet. And when they’re done, they pull and shove him across the room and through the door where the Healer had gone through.

Changkyun hears a metal door being closed in the distance and someone screams loud, like they’re in pain. The room he’s in, though, is small. There’s a table at the center, straps on both sides, probably to hold arms and legs. There are shelves full of flasks, not much different from the ones Changkyun has seen in that abandoned clinic in the dungeon under Black Cathedral. And there’s blood on the floor, some of it fresh, some of it old.

The Healer turns from one of the tables and gestures at the table. And it’s towards that table that they take Changkyun, force him to lie down and begin to strap his wrists and ankles. His body feels numb, and so does the slowly setting panic. The Church can get away with, well, just about anything. He has no idea what they’re going to do to him.

The Healer looks at Changkyun’s body, blinks and then turns around to grab a cloth. He uses it to clean Changkyun’s arm and then turns again to grab something else.

“So, tell me,” the Healer starts in a conversational tone, back turned, “Was it envy that led you to try to kill your own brother? Or was it a forbidden impulse that you couldn’t control?”

Changkyun swallows, wrists tugging up to test at the constraints, that don’t even move with the effort. “I was having a nightmare,” Changkyun mutters, looking around. What do they _ do _to people here?

“Were you murdering your brother in this nightmare of yours?” the Healer asks, turns to Changkyun with a needle in his hand, a needle that connects to a tube that goes god knows where.

“No,” Changkyun says, eyes wide on the needle. Staying calm is becoming increasingly difficult. “Wh--What is that?”

The Healer blinks and glances at the tube. “Ah, this? I’m going to take some blood so I can test it for signs of plague. Try not to move too much, it gets nasty when I miss the spot.”

It’s a thick needle. It’ll hurt, so Changkyun looks away, features scrunched and heart loud. But he doesn’t move, he’s not an idiot. And when the pinch that feels like a bite pierces through his skin, he actually feels the blood leaving him, like someone just opened a tap on his body and is draining him empty.

“What was happening in this nightmare of yours, then?” the Healer asks.

Changkyun’s head spins and he mumbles through his words. “Not much. Can’t ask me with my clothes on, then?”

“We need to examine you for signs of plague,” the Healer explains. 

“Is a symptom trying to kill your brother?” Changkyun scoffs. _ This is so stupid _.

“Dementia is a common occurrence at stage one.”

Changkyun laughs. He’s missing blood, he can’t help it. “You’re so full of shit.”

The Healer pinches at Changkyun’s arm and then removes the needle. But instead of stopping the blood, he just lets it drool down his skin. “If you’re alright, we’ll send you home in no time.”

_ If I don’t bleed out before then _… 

“Tell me more about this dream of yours,” the Healer urges.

“Dreams are meaningless,” Changkyun mumbles, watches himself bleed. “Like finding fortunes in tea leaves…”

“I see. What else do you consider meaningless, then?”

“Whatever the hell you’re doing right now…”

“Is the life of your brother meaningless, too?”

“_No _,” Changkyun glares. “I would never knowingly hurt my brother.”

“Ah,” the Healer says and he smiles. “Knowingly. But you see, there are secrets we hide behind rationality. And those are the things the plague latches onto.” He looks away and seems to move down to the foot of the table. Changkyun can feel the man’s hands on his calf. The touch _ bothers _him. It really, really bothers him. “Fortunately for you, you don’t see to have any boiled skin.”

“I don’t,” Changkyun grits out. “Have the plague…”

A few people chuckle and then the Healer says, “That’s what they all say…”

_ All? How many? Too many _.

“You enjoy this,” Changkyun says, glaring up at the ceiling. 

“What, sick people? Enjoy? No. I want to help them. Help you. Unfortunately, not many seem to understand that.” The touch shifts from Changkyun’s calf to his thigh and then the man says, “Bring me that, yes, yes…”

Changkyun closes his eyes, frowning harshly. _ Just bear it, whatever it is, just bear it... _

Except after another pinch at his thigh and a liquid that burns in his veins, Changkyun blacks out.

* * *

He startles when he hears a scream, and it’s so loud that it resonates inside his head. He tries to get up but the world spins, his heart pounds inside his head, and the walls around him seem to change colour.

When his eyes manage to focus past the spinning, he finds himself naked in a small room, hands tied up to the ceiling. There’s blood on the walls, stone scratched by nails, and the air smells like the city after a terrible night, like rot.

Changkyun lets his head hang, eyes closed as he catches his breath, heart loud in his ears.

_ Are you there? _

_ “Always.” _

Jarringly, it’s a relief to hear that voice.

_ What did they do to me? _

_ “Besides manhandling you like you’re a pig for slaughter? Not much.” _

Changkyun lifts his head, lets it fall back, eyes on the restraints around his wrists, bound to the ceiling. There’s blood on them, too.

_ This is your fault _.

_ “Is it, though? I wasn’t the one hesitating.” _

Changkyun feels himself get angry, again. It’s consistent, at least. _ To what?! Kill my brother?! _

_ “Maybe it’s not about the weapon. Maybe… it’s the target,” _ the voice says, like it’s talking to itself. Changkyun feels a breath puff against his lips, like someone just laughed silently. _ “Considering your current circumstances, I’d say I’m your ticket out of here. What do you say, Daisy flower?” _

Changkyun closes his eyes, shakes his head. _ If I do what you want, I’ll never see my family again… _

_ “Oh, sweet, sweet flower… You really think you’re leaving this place?” _

Changkyun’s heart falls into his stomach. “My father,” Changkyun mumbles. “He wouldn’t let them…”

A touch soothes down Changkyun’s cheek and stops at his chin. _ “And what can your father do against the Church? Do you not know how it works?” _ The voice shifts, moves, like someone is moving around Changkyun, and the touch on his chin slips away, _ “They’ll tell them you’re sick. They’ll say they have to keep you here and promise them you’ll be fine. They’ll use you, like they use the others, torture you, defile you, experiment on you, and when they’re done… you’ll either have become what they fear or you’ll be too weak to become nothing at all.” _

Changkyun feels a tear run down his cheek, and he looks around, like he’ll see the voice. Like he won’t be so alone, but all he sees is blood on the walls.

“You did this to me,” Changkyun says, pulls at the constraints, struggles against them even if he knows they won’t budge. “You made them think I was mad, you made me almost kill my brother, this is your _ fucking fault _!”

_ “Does blaming it on me make you feel better? Does it ease the pain? Because it certainly doesn’t make me feel any worse, if that’s what you’re trying to do.” _

Changkyun stops, lets himself go a little limp. 

_ “You have me, you know…” _ the voice says, now close to his ear. _ “No one can touch you if you just… let go. I won’t let them. No one. But you have to let go.” _

“I don’t want to lose myself more than I already have,” Changkyun mumbles.

_ “Maybe… you’ll find yourself.” _

Changkyun looks up, at the door. Beyond it? Monsters. In all shapes and sizes.

“Does it matter what I kill?”

A pause. And when the voice speaks, it sounds almost proud;

_ “The price for eternity requires two souls. One is already mine; yours. The other you must take on your own. Any living creature with a heart pumping blood through its veins has a soul. Although, I have to admit… humans are… rather juicy, with all their twists and turns and bottled up feelings.” _

Changkyun shivers. _ I suppose I’ll just have to get used to that… _He looks up to his hands again. “So, ticket out of here, did you have a plan or are you all talk?”

_ “Patience, Daisy flower. Patience.” _

* * *

Changkyun is half awake, half asleep when the door opens and two people walk in. One of them is wearing a mask Changkyun recognizes. It’s an Executioner’s mask, and Executioners don’t only execute people, they’re also in charge of most torture sessions. The other person is the Priest that Changkyun met back at the Palace.

“Well, well, well,” the Priest says with a grin, “Look who it is. Our sickly young Prince. I guess royal blood doesn’t mean much to the plague, hein? You get the silvery brown hair and not much else. Not even divine intervention.”

Changkyun lifts his eyes to glare, _ hates _the way they’re looking at him. So he spits on the floor in front of them.

The Priest blinks down and frowns before looking up. “Not very royal of you, young man.”

“He’ll be choking on it later,” the Executioner says, voice thick.

“Not very _ divine _of you, Priest,” Changkyun spits out. 

“On the contrary,” the Priest says, opening his arms. “I am touched by divine. So all my actions are divine.”

Changkyun shivers, stomach turning because… of course. Of course that’s the justification. 

When he stole that book? It had been to clean him of his shame. That's what they called it. And now it's divine… _ Of course… _

The Executioner closes the door and takes the whip on his hip and lets it uncurl to the floor. It’s made of leather, fastened to a metal handle. And like everything else in this place, it’s covered in old stains of blood.

“Tell me, young man,” the Priest begins, brings his hands behind his back and starts circling around Changkyun, eyes roaming Changkyun's naked body. “Have you had any encounters with tainted beasts?”

“Not since now, no.”

The Priest pauses behind him and Changkyun feels the man press a thumb against his lower back, makes him wince. “Come again?”

Changkyun looks over his shoulder at the man. He’ll die anyway, if this uada in his head doesn’t get him out of here. “You. You’re _ vile _.”

The Priest frowns, glares at Changkyun and gets closer to him, pressing himself against his back, Changkyun's stomach turning. 

“You’re _ filth. _ The lot of you degenerates are. And you’ll be treated as such. _ ” _

“Press your dick into mud often, then?”

The Priest grins. “Mayhaps I’ll purify the mud.”

Changkyun laughs--actually laughs, before he feels the whip lash against his stomach, cutting like a knife, making Changkyun cry out in pain. And it’s not the worst of it. The worst is the Priest’s hands on him, feeling at him. And when Changkyun jerks his head back, against the Priest’s, it hurts on impact, a dull pain from where it hit the Priest’s. But it’s only a moment, before there’s another lash, by his feet, and the hands just keep touching Changkyun like they own him.

Purify, the Priest had said. 

_ I want to kill him _.

_ “And will you?” _ a voice whispers, louder than ever, through the whole room.

Changkyun feels the Priest’s hard dick press against his ass, a hand pushing at his back to tilt him forward just a bit, and it’s without a doubt that he says;

“_Gladly _.”

There’s a loud sound, metal clashing against metal. And then another sound, a whoosh, before gravity pulls Changkyun down and the constraints come undone. When he looks at his hand, he’s holding the beautiful sword he’d seen what feels like so long ago, a silvery wakizashi with a black hilt and a dragon on the rain-guard.

He can barely stand with the lashes over his feet, his legs, his stomach, but he swipes at the Executioner, and as if the sword was reading his mind--_ it might be _\--it cuts off the Executioner’s hand, whip falling to the ground.

Quickly and unpredictably, the sword weights and changes into an axe. The shift makes Changkyun almost stand up on his own. And when he turns to look at the priest, the axe changes back into the wakizashi.

_ “You know what he was going to do to you,” _ the voice whispers. _ “Over and over again, until you’d forgotten your name.” _

_ I assure you _ , Changkyun thinks, angry beyond his own comprehension. _ You don’t have to convince me to do this _.

And with that, Changkyun bends down, presses the sword against the Priest’s dick, smiles when he screams, and shoves it into him at that angle. The man chokes on his own scream, falls back against the wall, the sword cutting more of him as it sort of sticks to Changkyun’s hands instead of falling with the man’s weight.

The blood glints when the sword glints, easily rolling down its blade with how sharp it is. And before Changkyun can register the ecstasy that runs through his veins as he sees the Priest succumb to almost nothing. The weight of the sword shifts again as it mists away from Changkyun’s hand and stretches in front of him in a swirl of deep crimson.

He hears the sound of feet touching the stone floor before he sees the man in front of him, back turned to him, clothes dark like the night, dark brown hair styled messily and loosely in a neat way, casting red-like highlights in the low light.

“Well, well, well,” the familiar voice says, except now it’s coming from this man in front of Changkyun, whose face he can’t see, “Look who it is. Our sickly old Priest, whose soul leaks all over the floor…”

Changkyun stumbles back--he can’t really help it, with the pain, the shock he’s in--against the wall, breathing heavy. And right before his eyes, the man in dark clothes raises his hand and all the live blood on the floor swirls towards him. 

The Priest chokes, blood seeping through his skin, leaking from every orifice he has and flying up and around the dark clothed man’s hand before he closes it in a fist and the blood is simply just… gone, the Priest's skin pale, his body empty. 

Next to Changkyun, the Executioner stumbles towards him, holding himself against the wall with his shoulder. The man in dark clothes is gone when Changkyun blinks at him as if begging for help, and then a knife pierces through the Executioner’s head before phasing away, a man appearing between him and Changkyun. 

The man mists into a swirled dagger that pierces through the Executioner’s chest and exits through his back. Blood splashes against the wall and against Changkyun’s face, but it quickly mists in a stormy mist that envelopes the dark clothed man Changkyun can see the moment the Executioner falls to the floor.

Eyebrows thick enough to look fierce, almond red eyes that look kind but reflect only death with how adornished in dark tones they seem to be, nose straight and pointy, lips puffy but shaped.

And, oh, does he look like a deity--the perfect balance of danger and charm, he is at the same time fascinating and inaccessible, distant because of his demonstrated flawlessness, and possessing such strength of character that he is dismaying and at the same time utterly attractive in an enticing and forbidden way. 

“No one can touch you,” he says, voice calm but strong. “No one will ever touch you again, if you don’t want them to.”

Changkyun watches the man from where he’s leaned against the wall, out of necessity, really, a hand blindly reaching out. It’s covered in blood, and so is Changkyun. And before his hand falls short, the man takes it, the blood on Changkyun’s skin misting away towards the man’s before it disappears.

When Changkyun looks down at his feet, his chest, the lashes are already pink, as if they’ve been healing for a week.

“What--” Changkyun starts, swallows around a dry throat, eyes unable to move from the man’s face once it’s there. “What’s your name?”

The man’s eyes shift between Changkyun’s, expression unreadable. “I have many names… Which one do you wish to know?”

Changkyun looks between his eyes. “The one you like being called.”

The man frowns a little and Changkyun sees his chest rise and fall like he just took a breath, the V cut on his black shirt, that is puffy around the arms but hugs the rest of his body, shifting a little. The man glances at their hands and then looks away with a slow blink.

“Kihyun,” he says in a strange way, like he’s tasting the name.

Changkyun smiles something a little lopsided. “Been a while?”

Kihyun looks at him with a side-glance. “It’s more of a memory than it is a name. But… it’s a name I respect. A name I like.”

“Kihyun it is, then,” Changkyun mumbles, glances around. _ Death _ . And shit, he’s _ cold _. 

“Come on,” Kihyun says as he lets go of Changkyun and turns to walk towards the door. “I’m getting you out of here. And you need clothes.” Kihyun pauses in front of the door, though, and glances at Changkyun before phasing away in a mist and through metal.

Changkyun holds his arms around himself, closes his eyes, before slowly standing up, ignoring the sting of wounds that are healing far too fast. 

He killed someone.

But they deserved it.

He manages to open the door, the sound of metal echoing through the dungeon. _ Yes, _ a dungeon, that’s what this place is, long corridors lit by torches with rooms and more rooms, people crying in the distance, some moaning nearby.

A few feet ahead, a shadow turns into Kihyun and he looks at Changkyun. “You’re afraid,” Kihyun says, like it’s obvious, like he can read it on Changkyun’s face. “That’s good.”

Changkyun narrows his eyes. “Why? Shouldn’t I be?”

“Without fear in your heart, you’re little different from what these people wished you to be, you’re little different from the beasts outside, you’re little different from me. So, be afraid. It will keep you sane.” 

More cries, more moans, from nearby, from, suddenly, everywhere. 

“These people,” Changkyun frowns, looks to Kihyun. “Would you set them free?”

“No,” Kihyun says without flinching. “But their voices are starting to annoy me so I might kill them if you don’t hurry up.”

Changkyun rolls his eyes and pushes away from the wall, walks forward. “Tough. Because we’re getting them out of here.” He passes by Kihyun, who just turns his head to watch him walk.

“They’re not exactly sane,” he says, like it’s a fact and not like he’s questioning Changkyun. 

Changkyun stops, takes in the sounds of suffering and turns back to Kihyun. “Okay,” Changkyun says, nods. 

“But we can still get them out if that will make you feel better,” Kihyun says.

“Shut up,” Changkyun says, hand up. “Just--Show me where my clothes are. And we’ll come back.”

Kihyun raises an eyebrow. “Shy, all of a sudden, Daisy flower?”

“No,” Changkyun says, lets his hand fall. “But I don’t want them to think I’m one of _ them _,” Changkyun says, turns around and walks the way he thinks it is. 

Kihyun phases himself next to Changkyun and walks with him. Ahead, an intersection. And just before they cross it, Kihyun paces up just enough to side step towards the new corridor and pierce his hand through a man’s chest, another Executioner. 

For a moment, Changkyun swears he saw a sword instead of just… Kihyun.

The Executioner falls on the floor and all of his blood mists and swirls around Kihyun before dissipating. And without a word, Kihyun turns and keeps on walking.

Changkyun follows in silence, even though his heart is still jumping like he expects someone to turn from one of the many corridors and chase them into some sort of ambush. No one shows up, though, only cries, moans and occasional cackles of people keeping them company.

“Maybe you were right,” Changkyun mumbles to himself. “I’d kill all of them…”

Kihyun glances over. “Nothing can stop you from doing so.”

Another scream. Changkyun winces. “I…” Changkyun sighs, walks closer when he sees his pants and underwear, on the floor of the room he’d first opened his eyes in since he got here. No use trying to wear that shirt anymore. “You’d like that, huh? If I went and killed everyone…”

“Complicated question,” Kihyun says, eyes on Changkyun, like he’s the only thing worth watching in a room full of weird things--nothing all that weird, just a rusty shower, moist walls and a few clothes scattered through the wet floor. And yet, Kihyun’s eyes are on _ him _. And like an aftertaste, Changkyun can feel his touch, too. “‘Like’ is a strange concept for me. But… I suppose you can say that.”

Changkyun pulls his underwear on, and soon after, his pants, looking at Kihyun curiously. “The blood… You sort of just, I don’t know, absorb it. You said anything with a beating heart has a soul. Is that what you need? Is that why you’re so intent to kill?”

Kihyun frowns a little but keeps watching Changkyun. “Can you control your breathing?”

Changkyun raises an eyebrow. “You answer me like I’m judging you.”

“I answer with a question. Your answer to my question will answer yours.”

Changkyun huffs, looks down as he buttons up his pants. “No, I can’t control my breathing. Not in any way that matters.”

“But you can hold your breath, breathe faster if you so wish to do and stop both when it feels like it’s too much. It works the same way for me. To kill… isn’t a choice. It happens. _ Death _ happens. But I can hold my breath every now and then.”

“So you need death,” Changkyun says, looking up. “The way I need air.”

Kihyun looks down and nods before looking back up. “In a way…”

Changkyun nods, looks back to the sound of another scream. “Alright, good enough for me...” he says, and starts walking back to where they came from. “Come on. We’re not done here.”

“You need a shirt,” Kihyun says, once again, like he’s just pointing out an obvious fact.

“Why?” Changkyun asks, turning around to walk backwards. “Shy, all of a sudden?”

Kihyun huffs a laugh, and it’s the first time Changkyun sees a hint of a smile on his face. It’s nice. It almost looks kind.

“You,” Kihyun breathes out, tilts his head to the side with a small shake like it’s a habit of his, and starts following after Changkyun, “Are enjoying yourself.”

“Doing what, exactly?” Changkyun asks, turning back around. But Kihyun just rolls his eyes and mists, phasing all the way to Changkyun’s hand and turning into the wakizashi. “My favourite,” Changkyun mumbles, just as he kicks open the closest door, beheading the Executioner with a single swing.

Seems fitting.

The man they have chained up looks… Broken. 

Maybe Kihyun was right about that, too. 

Killing the Priest is easy with how surprised he is. And there’s no time to savour it--because yes, this is the kind of death that should be slow, suffering, and they deserve _ so _much worse. But the important part is when Changkyun bends down in front of the tied up man, looks him in the eye, and asks;

“Do you want to die?”

There’s barely any life in the man’s eyes. So, it’s not at all surprising, only a little heartbreaking, when all the man breathes out is a hoarse, “Make… it… stop…”

Changkyun takes a breath, heart heavy, before pushing the sword into the man’s chest, fast, right into his heart. 

“Sometimes death can be kind,” Changkyun mumbles, as he watches the blood seep into the sword.

_ “Past Daisy flower wants to have a word with present Daisy flower,” _ Kihyun whispers around the air.

“Future Daisy flower still hates that fucking nickname, though.”

_ “Couldn’t care less. Now, hurry.” _

“Hold your damn breath!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now playing: Bloodborne by SIE Sound Team.
> 
> [Youtube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1zWsGoMS6d4) / [Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/01A4XzJjHbHFvFs3c5IL9y?si=NtjVXp4zRM-LrlDpuL8EsQ)


	3. In Absentia Lucis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And, oh, did people worship, because faith made them feel less afraid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In Absentia Lucis - In The Absence Of Light

_ “The most merciful thing in the world... is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents.” _

_ _ H. P. Lovecraft _ _

_ _ _ _

Before the Church, the Royal Family of Aureum ruled the state. The golden metropolis was imposing and sprawling, churches and cathedrals emerging from the ground like flowers in spring, rib vaults covering the interior of buildings taller than any other, and ornate flying buttresses connecting the floors and allowing the weight of the roofs to be counterbalanced by buttresses outside the building as well, giving an even greater height and more space for stained glass and rose windows. The statues on the exterior always made the city seem alive, like eyes were watching from every wall. And the ogival and pointed arches had become the new black.

The skyline was filled with spires, Black Cathedral and White Cathedral having the tallest of them all. Gargoyles brought waterspouts to life in every other corner. And pinnacles gave bridges and ceilings an extra height.

Who would have thought that such a skeletal architecture, in which the stone was worked to the finest detail, was to become a metaphor of what was to come, of how stripped down to its core the city would be within a few years.

Now, everything has been turned to ashes and rot. Buildings decaying with time, some destroyed by the beasts that plague Aureum every night.

No one knows where they came from. The beasts simply appeared one night and ravaged the city, infected its citizens with a mysterious dementia, and seemed to spread like a plague. And every night, since the very first, they return.

The Church appeared not long after the first scourge of never ending fear, claiming that with the power of faith they could protect the people and restore peace to this forsaken place. But their solution was to still people’s greed, to turn an advancing city into a stagnant place of worship.

And, oh, did people worship, because faith made them feel less afraid.

Hunters came, sent by the Church and its Hunter’s School, a movement of warriors created to purge and control the scourge of beasts. 

So, in the middle of the night, after the twenty rings that announce the end of the day, the city is filled with beasts, blood, Hunters and fire, while people either hide behind the Palace’s walls or within their own houses.

That’s what Changkyun stumbles onto as he exits an old, supposedly abandoned, underground clinic, the blood on his face and skin misting away and around the sword in his hand before it vanishes.

The air is humid, fresh with the morning that slowly turns the sky a little brighter even with the greyness that surrounds them. But in the midst of all these old, crippled buildings in Old Aureum, Changkyun can hear the howl of a werewolf in the distance.

_ “You should lay low,” _ Kihyun whispers in the air and the fog around them seems to shift when he does. _ “The bells have not rung yet.” _

Changkyun has never been outside at this time of the day. Never could be. 

“I have to get back to the Palace,” he says under his breath. “Get my clothes, gold, see Jooheon… He must be worried sick.”

The sword in Changkyun’s hand mists away and forward, the fog dissipating in front of him when Kihyun seems to step out of it. He looks around the small courtyard and then turns to look beyond the collapsed building that reveals the upper part of the city, the Palace in view in the distance, glinting with orange lights of incense that cling to its walls.

“It’s a long walk,” Kihyun says, in that factual tone of his. “You can wait for the bells… Or you can go now and I’ll keep you safe until they ring.”

“Hm,” Changkyun hums, glancing down at himself. He’s tired, he’s dirty, he’s barely dressed… “Any ideas on how I can just go die in a room at an inn?” Changkyun grumbles, taking slow steps forward.

Kihyun turns to look at him, eyes going up and down on his torso. “You want to… die in an inn? That can be arranged.”

Changkyun rolls his eyes, smiles to himself. “Cute, but no, not literally. I mean I want to bathe and sleep.”

“Hm,” Kihyun nods faintly and glances away, eyes snapping towards the screech that echoes through the streets. “Inns take payment. You don’t have any gold. But we can kill them if they become a bother.”

“We kill rapists, torturers and monsters, not innkeepers,” Changkyun says, scoffing. He should have known Kihyun would suggest that.

Kihyun glances at Changkyun. “Can’t innkeepers be rapists, torturers and monsters?”

“They can,” Changkyun hums. “But they don’t advertise it. No way for me to know, really.”

“Take the principle that no one is innocent,” Kihyun says before turning towards the broadest street of the five available for them, “And Death brings nothing but equality.”

“Sure,” Changkyun just agrees, because whatever, he’s tired. He looks around, feeling oddly at ease. There are monsters in these streets, and here Changkyun is, _ at ease _. “Too bad you can’t change into a horse.”

“Why,” Kihyun asks in a breath as he starts walking towards the broad street. “Feel like riding me?”

Changkyun barks a laugh as he follows. “If it gets me to the castle without needing to walk? Yes, yes I do. Ugh, I need sleep,” Changkyun adds, looks around and sees not even one inn. Do they not exist anymore or something? “Do you sleep?” 

“No.”

“Hmm,” Changkun just hums again, sighs and shivers at a breeze. His stomach feels empty even if he doesn’t necessarily feel hungry. So he just watches Kihyun walk--it’s nice to watch him walk. It’s like he doesn’t really touch this world, like an overlayed image, apart but inhibiting the same space. 

In the fog, the city is blurred like an old painting. The dark cobblestone streets are damp and every now and then Changkyun feels his barefoot sink into a pile of mud. The buildings silhouette in black, brown and grey, and the smaller streets they pass by seem to yawn in every direction possible.

It doesn't smell right at all. In fact, it smells of nothing but dampness, the putrid smell of rot melting into the air and sticking to everything it touches.

Changkyun startles for a moment when the growling sound of dogs echoes down one of the smaller streets, vultures running ahead in the shadows. It’s nothing but the suspense, though, because the thing about having Kihyun by his side that, knowing more or less what he’s capable of, it gives him a sense of security he’s never had before.

An interesting turn of events, considering Kihyun has been the catalyst behind everything that Changkyun has feared for the past few days.

* * *

Changkyun knows the Royal Palace like the back of his hand. The doors open right after the first five bells and he manages to sneak in and walk along the great wall, all the way towards the back.

The first place he tries is his own room. It’s not too high up, and Changkyun has snuck in and out hundreds of times, since his parents insist he stay in it at night (nights are the time for the hunt, after all, but _ honestly _, it gets dull). The door looks locked, but the window isn’t. And he wishes he could linger, but instead he just pulls on the sturdiest clothes he has. Leather pants, boots, an oversized white undershirt, leather vest (leather is the great fallback, apparently) and a black coat that clasps across his chest but falls down to his ankles, open at the front. 

Just that, and the pouch of gold he stuffs into the inside pocket of his coat. It’s all he can take. 

He closes the window behind him, sword on his hip, before he climbs the castle wall again, down and little to the side, knocking once at Jooheon’s window when he sees the boy pacing in front of his bed. 

For some reason, it’s a relief to see him alive, like Changkyun had somehow expected any different. It’s Changkyun’s life that’s falling apart, not anyone else’s, after all.

Jooheon startles, eyes snapping to the window, and for a split second he looks something between relieved and terrified. He rushes over, fumbles with the metal lock that keeps the window closed and Changkyun can hear him cursing when it takes too long to open.

When Jooheon finally manages to get it down, Changkyun only has time to process a hand grabbing at the folded collar of his coat before he’s being pulled inside.

“What the hell happened to you?!” Jooheon asks. He sounds angry, but also concerned, voice thick like he’s about to cry. And Changkyun just pulls him into a hug, squeezing tight.

“Shh,” Changkyun soothes, eyes flicking to the door, hand in Jooheon’s hair. 

“They said--” Jooheon hesitates before reaching up to hug back, tighter than Changkyun has felt it coming from him. “They said you were sick… I thought you had--I thought I’d never see you again…”

“Almost didn’t,” Changkyun says, a little bitterly, sighs and pulls back, hands on Jooheon’s shoulders. “I’m not sick, but I can’t stay, either.”

Jooheon frowns, his face contorting in confusion. “What? Why not? What do you mean? What happened?!”

“Shh!” Changkyun urges again, before laughing, dropping his head. “Shit… I really can’t stay, if they find you with me--” he looks down to the sword, before back up to Jooheon. “Remember--Remember those nightmares? They weren’t nightmares--well, they were, but, it’s--” he takes the sword off his hip and holds it up. “It’s this. It’s him.”

Jooheon blinks at the sword and frowns some more before looking back up. “I don’t get it. What… What do you mean? Where did you get this?”

“It’s the dagger,” Changkyun says, bites at his bottom lip. “When we went found that secret passageway? When I screamed? It was this. I told you I was cursed, and I think I kind of am.” Changkyun sighs. “This is… complicated. I really shouldn’t stay--”

_ “You should leave,” _ Kihyun whispers around the air.

Changkyun swallows. “Can you meet me tomorrow? At the Hunter’s Shop in Central? _ Please _, I need to go.”

Jooheon shakes his head in confusion but says, “Y--Yeah, yes… of course… Just--” he holds hard onto Changkyun’s wrist. “Don’t do anything stupid…”

“Bit too late for that,” Changkyun smiles, glances to the door again. “I’ll explain, okay? Tomorrow. And--” Changkyun sniffs. _ Shit. He’s going to miss this boy _. “I love you, yeah?”

Jooheon’s shoulders slump and his face goes soft, sad. “Yeah… Me, too…”

_ “Daisy. Leave.” _

And with that, Changkyun twists his wrist out of Jooheon’s grip, turns to the window and jumps out, landing in a tumble on the ground outside. One last look, and he runs.

* * *

The Hunter’s Shop, commonly known as The Workshop. It’s located in Central Aureum. It’s an old building, gargoyles greeting visitors at the entrance, the smoke of the incense lanterns giving it an eerie atmosphere to behold.

It’s in the middle of a busy market. A market that becomes empty at dusk, doors and walls barricaded with wood and metal. As it is now, despite the claw marks and typical signs of damp rot and rubble that oftentimes falls from the walls of the decadent buildings, in broad daylight, it’s not as bad as it could be.

Is it magic? Is it science? It mixes both with a tad of faith. The Hunter’s Shop sells everything, from weapons like the saw cleaver, to silver bullets, prepared molotov cocktails, rune books, religious books, weapon upgrades, armor, consumables and others. It’s where Hunters come to replenish their stocks after a night hunting. And to acquire things here, one must have a Hunter’s License, which only The Hunter’s School can give.

The floor is made of wood and it creaks when Changkyun walks in. In the corner, a girl with tattoos on her arms, hair black and long all the way down to her waist, and black eyeliner adorning her eyes, glances up. _Pretty... _She looks away, though, and walks through the dangling string curtains that seem to lead towards the back of the shop, just as a man behind the counter turns to look at Changkyun.

“A new face,” the man says, hair a platinum blonde that is dark at the roots. His eyes scan Changkyun and then blink, unevenly, a hand smoothing down the black leather girdle that wraps his waist in a tight embrace, the man’s flowy black shirt tucked into it.

“As is yours to me,” Changkyun smiles, walking closer to the counter. It’s all about confidence and charm, right? Right. “Happy to have found a place in this city that actually smells pleasant.”

The man raises an eyebrow. “Even despair has its own calms.” He places a bloodied beast claw atop the counter and brings up a cloth to clean it. “How can I help you?”

Changkyun licks his lips. “Any chance I could pay for a room here? I can’t remember the last time I was unconscious at my own behalf.”

“Do you have a license?”

“No,” Changkyun says plainly. He’s sort of assumed this would happen, but it’s worth a shot. 

The man looks up. “So… not a Hunter, then.”

“Not according to the Church, no.”

“Then I’m afraid I can’t help you,” the man says, looks back down and starts humming a song Changkyun doesn’t recognize.

The sword on Changkyun’s waist seems to go a little lighter before it gets incredibly heavy. A spiked ball crashes down on the floor, the chain connecting the handle still on Changkyun’s waist to the weapon.

The man behind the counter looks up almost instantly, eyes on the spike ball flail. “Yeeees…?” he asks, gaze flicking to Changkyun as if questioning his motives. Changkyun glares down at the weapon.

_ We. Are not. Killing. Him. _

_ “If he says ‘no’ again, we can kill him and he won’t be able to say ‘no’ a third time.” _

_ Killing doesn’t solve everything! _

Changkyun smiles up at the man. “Sorry. Weapons, sometimes they just… change into other weapons. What can you do.”

The man frowns and then raises an eyebrow. “Riiiight…” He glances down and shifts a little. “What do you know about weapons?” he asks, conversationally. “You’re not a Hunter, but you seem fit for battle. Are you a rookie? A wannabe Hunter that got lucky?”

“I don’t feel too lucky, not having a license and all,” Changkyun says, glares back down at the weapon. _ Can you turn back into a sword again? _

_ “Can the sun rise in the West and set in the East?” _

“My question is,” the man says before he sighs, “Can you make it through the hunt?”

“Yes,” Changkyun says, with unfounded confidence. “Look, I can go somewhere else? I really don’t want to, but I really don’t feel the need to prove myself right now.”

The man blinks slowly at the claw on the counter and then glances at a board filled with papers on the wall. “Before, Hunters used to take contracts. They wouldn’t just mindlessly run into the night to kill beasts. They’d help us, the people. Many get lost, some don’t make it in time.” The man takes a deep breath and looks back down. “As it is, not many people take the Hunter’s Joining nowadays. And very few Hunters remember the contracts, because the payment isn’t in gold.” He blinks unevenly and then glances up at Changkyun. “I have nothing to lose by asking you to take a look at that board? And you’ve got everything to gain. If you help them--” the man gestures at the papers--“I’ll help you.”

The spiked flail shifts and Kihyun says, _ “This is a waste of time. I’m going to kill him.” _

_ You will _not.

Changkyun glances at the board, walking closer and looking over it. Just the pure amount of MISSING posts, of loved ones who were taken by monsters or just disappeared in the city, makes his heart sink. He’s always wanted to make a difference. Maybe this is how.

One post in particular catches his eye. The handwriting is poor and breaks every now and then. Still, when Changkyun plucks the thin piece of paper from the board and brings it closer, he can understand what’s written on it.

_Mommy never came back. Can you please go look for her? _

_ She went to find Kitty, our cat. But neither of them came back. _

_ I’m taking care of my little sister. And we’re all alone and scared. _

_ Mommy has a big green jewelled brooch, it’s impossible to miss. _

_ Please find her. _

_ Thank you good Hunter. _

“This one,” Changkyun says, voice low, frowning. “How long ago was this posted…?”

The man glances over and frowns. “Ah… the little girl. Three or four days go, I think.”

Changkyun nods, carefully folds the paper. “I want to help,” Changkyun says, looking back to the man. “If the others won’t do it, I will.”

The man smiles for the first time. “Then my shop is at your disposal. The name’s Lee Minhyuk. I can have Arrate show you a room,” he says, gesturing towards the door with the curtains where the tattooed woman had gone through.

The spiked flail shifts and changes back into a sword, but Kihyun says nothing on the matter. Lee Minhyuk’s eyes, however, snap down and he blinks, like he’s confused and thinks he didn’t see that the way he should have.

“It does that,” Changkyun tells him, smiles and walks through to the next room. He smiles kindly at the woman, bows his head a little despite how much shorter she is than him. “I like your tattoos.”

She blinks at him, blinks down at the book in her hands and closes it, puts it back on the shelf and smiles back. “Thank you. I like them, too.” Her smile turns a little brighter then. “They make me happy. Looking at them, talking about them…” She seems to flinch though, and quickly backtracks. “Ah, uhm, you need something? What can I help you with?”

Changkyun smiles. “Minhyuk said you could show me to a room?”

“Oh! I can,” she smiles again and gestures for Changkyun to follow her. “Come on, come on. Up the stairs.”

Changkyun laughs softly and follows, eyes catching on the tattoos on her arms. Roses, a hand in what looks like an ornate border. “Where did you get them? I suddenly want a hundred.”

“Oh, uhm,” she looks down over her shoulder and then at her arms. “Here. Minhyuk made mine and I made his. If you want, we can schedule you a session as well.”

Changkyun raises an eyebrow. “Wow, that’s… impressive. Did he give you those piercings, too?”

“Ah, no… I gave them to myself,” Arrate giggles, turns left when she climbs up the stairs and turns to lean against the wall. She gesture towards the end of the corridor. “Last door on the right, free room with a tank incorporated. If you want water you need to request it every morning so we can bring it up for the night.”

Changkyun nods, smiling wide. She’s adorable. “Thank you, Arrate. Think you can give me a piercing after my first hunt? Think of it as a celebration of my success.”

Arrate seems confused but she beams anyway. “Of course!” She bows then, and says, “Have a good afternoon, ahm… Sorry,” she says with a sheepish smile, “Didn’t ask for your name.”

Changkyun opens his mouth, second guesses--he is the Prince, after all--but very much goes _ fuck it _. If the church wants to hunt him down, they can try their best.

“Changkyun. My name’s Changkyun.”

“Oh! Like the Prince’s! It’s a good name.” Arrate bows. “Have a good afternoon, Changkyun.”

“Yep,” Changkyun laughs softly to himself as he walks to the door, pushes it open. “Just like the Prince...”

The room is surprisingly nice, with a comfortable looking bed and--he notes, to his immense relief--water. He’s busy taking off his coat before the door is even closed behind him, pushing it closed with his foot just as he throws his coat over the bed, with the sword.

_ Bath, bath, bath, bath, bath. _

Once he sinks into the hot water, it’s like… shit, it’s the best feeling he thinks he’s ever felt. His muscles ache from the long walk, those fucking chains, and when he lifts his hand, it’s already cleaner just from the soap in the water. No dirt on his hands, under his fingernails. _ Finally _.

“Of mortal men, none is wise at all times,” Kihyun says, suddenly, from where he’s sitting on the bed, eyes on the floor. “Yet, here we find ourselves.”

“Haven’t read whatever you’re quoting,” Changkyun mumbles, far too relaxed to care about a myriad of things. One being how incredibly naked he is. That’s nothing _ new _, at least.

“Just a fancy way of calling you all stupid,” Kihyun explains as he gets up. He’s gone in a blink. And, in another blink, appears right next to the tub, sitting down on the floor and leaning back against it.

“Backhanded way of calling yourself smart.”

“Maybe. Although sometimes I wonder… out of the two brainless crows that walked into that prison, you had to be the one to pick me up… You’re either smarter than you look or dumber than you think.”

“I knew I shouldn’t even when I was doing it,” Changkyun says, opening his eyes to look at the ceiling. “Like I was hurtling to my death but I couldn’t find it in me to grab at anything in an attempt to stop.”

Kihyun huffs a breath that could almost be a laugh. “Death is always tempting. It’s the never ending unknown. And people are curious about what they don’t understand, what they don’t know. Death will always remain as such.”

“There’s a reason they call it ‘morbid’ curiosity,” Changkyun says, turning his face to look at Kihyun. “I quite like the fall… It’s exhilarating. A shame it ends with me splattered on the pavement.”

Kihyun turns his head as if to look over his shoulder at Changkyun, but his eyes stay low on the floor, despite the small amused smile on his face. “If all you could have was the fall, would you take the leap? Knowing you would always be falling. That you wouldn’t end up splattered on the pavement, but that you couldn’t take back that leap either.”

Changkyun frowns, licks his lips. “Isn’t that exactly what I’m doing right now?”

Kihyun glances at him and keeps his red eyes on his for a moment before looking away. “Maybe. But if you ever want the fall to end, you just have to let me know.”

Changkyun scoffs. “What, so you can kill me?”

“I am the only one who can, after all.”

“You sound very sure of that.”

“I am. Because I will kill whoever tries.”

Changkyun smiles, lifts his hand to splatter water at Kihyun, just to see if it hits. “Careful, you sound attached.” And it does hit, droplets clinging to his hair and rolling down the back of his neck. 

Kihyun turns his head to look at Changkyun. “I’m not the one who can’t live without me,” Kihyun says in a whisper before he mists away. _ “But don’t worry, Daisy flower. I’m not going anywhere. For now…” _

“Just did,” Changkyun scoffs to himself, splashes at the mist for good measure and lets himself sink down completely, just to see how long he can hold his breath.

* * *

“This,” Minhyuk says as he places an ominous looking spear above the counter, “Is a rifle spear, one of my favourite trick weapons. And why is it a trick weapon? Because, as it is, it’s only a meter long, but--” Minhyuk holds the middle handle of the spear and the thinner handle near the pommel and tugs, harsh.

The weapon grows in size from one meter to a little more than a meter and a half. And Changkyun doesn’t need to look to know that Kihyun just phased himself closer to look as well. When Changkyun does look. though, he finds Kihyun’s eyes a little wide and stuck on the weapon. It’s a different expression to add to the very few he seems to wear on the daily.

“It was built by the heretics from broken spear parts and old rifles,” Minhyuk explains, “It has an attached gun that you and load and fire without needing to carry a pistol. Two in one! While untransformed, it’s a nondescript spear, good for thrust attacks. While transformed, it’s both a long spear and a rifle barrel. It’s a good bayonet.”

Changkyun looks to Kihyun. It’s obvious that Minhyuk can’t see him there, he would have reacted by now. 

_ You look excited. Can you do something with this? _

“I don’t think I have any trick weapons in stock,” Kihyun mumbles, eyes shining a little before he blinks and straightens up. “Does he have more?”

“Do you have more trick weapons?” Changkyun asks Minhyuk, eyes back to the spear. “This is ingenious.”

Minhyuk smiles and pushes the spear back into its smaller scale before turning around with it and bringing back an axe. “This is my most sold trick weapon. It retains the qualities of an axe but offers a wider palette of possibilities by transforming,” he says as he pulls the middle of the handle to its end and the weapon grows bigger, it’s longer than the spear, way bigger than Changkyun, or Minhyuk. “Good for heavy blunt attacks. Honestly? In terms of quality, possible moveset and possible upgrades, it’s my best weapon.”

_ “I want it,” _ Kihyun says, eyes on the axe.

“I want it,” Changkyun repeats, smiling with one side of his mouth. He reaches out, picks up the weapon and looks at it. 

It doesn’t feel as balanced as Kihyun does, but Changkyun has the stinking suspicion Kihyun adapts perfectly to him. It’s simple, too, none of the intricate details he’s seen on Kihyun.

“That would be,” Minhyuk says, lifts up two fingers, “Two contracts. But as a show of good faith, I’ll let you take it on your first one.”

“Thank you” Changkyun says, and he really does mean it. “This girl, the one missing her mother, she didn’t mention the last place she knows her mother to have been?”

Minhyuk blinks and leans back as he takes a breath. “Hm. Maybe you could ask her? She lives near Old Aureum, close to the abandoned district. I think it was, uhm…” He frowns, looks down, “The building across the Church of Lucis? I _ think… _ not certain.”

Kihyun mists next to Changkyun and the fog slowly begins to envelop the weapon. Only Changkyun seems to be able to see it, though, considering Minhyuk doesn’t pay it any mind.

“You should be able to get to Old Aureum easily if you follow down the main road just outside. The Church of Lucis is the last one, just before the bridge that leads to the Wailing Woods.”

“Thanks,” Changkyun smiles, keeping his eyes on the weapon. “Have water for me tonight, just in case?” Changkyun teases, walking backwards to the exit.

“Will do--” Minhyuk starts and stops, eyes going wide when the axe retracts from long range into a smaller axe on its own, a loud metallic clunk echoing into the shop. It startles even Changkyun. “Uhm…” Minhyun blinks. “Right. Good hunt…?”

“Let’s hope,” Changkyun says, slipping out of the shop and frowning at the axe. “_ What _are you doing?”

_ “Adapting. I like it. One swing at long range and we can kill more than one. It will come in handy, eventually.” _

Changkyun scoffs, pulling his coat a little closer before he starts walking. “So, what,” Changkyun talks out loud, because _ whatever _. “You can take this shape now, too? That’s pretty cool.”

_ “I can consume any weapon if I so wish to do. It becomes a part of me.” _

“Whatever you are.”

* * *

Old Aureum is the same as always, buildings in a decaying state, eaten by fire or something else, inhabited by very few people and dangerous beasts that come during the night. There are signs of hunting everywhere, trash on the streets, slain rabid dogs rotting in the darkest corners, shelves that got tossed out of the nearby buildings, old coffins that never made it to the graveyard--chained so whatever lies inside, half dead, half alive won’t crawl out.

The breeze is faint but it still howls as it glides through the empty streets. The sun is starting to sink in the horizon, casting its last rays of gold into the open sky. Ahead, a square, a large bridge in the distance, and a church. The little girl’s house should be nearby.

All Changkyun can do, really, is knock at the first door, paper in hand, Kihyun a sword by his side once more. Changkyun asks the man inside if he knows the girl, and he grunts, points to the right and shuts the door in Changkyun’s face. _ Charming _. Changkyun knocks on the one to the right, though, smiling when he sees a girl answer the door.

“Hello,” Changkyun says, bowing his head a little. “I’m Changkyun. Are you the one who wrote this?” he asks, holding up the piece of paper.

The little girl’s eyes go a little wide and she nods. “Y--Yes…? Did you… Did you find my mom? Is she… Is she… Is she alive?”

Changkyun feels his chest tighten a little, and he swallows, looking down at the paper as he folds it. “I’m--I haven’t gone to look yet, sweetheart, I only saw this yesterday... I wanted to ask you where you think she might be. Do you have any idea where she might have gone to look for the cat?”

The little girl shifts a little and looks down. “She… Kitty is old and she never leaves the house. But… But mommy forgot to close the door in time and Kitty ran off. Mommy said a lot of cats used to gather near the graveyard back in the day. Maybe she went there? I tried to look for her but I can’t leave my little sister on her own for too long. And then night always comes…”

“You did the right thing,” Changkyun says softly, smiles. “Just stay here and take care of your sister, I’ll go look for your mom.”

The little girl smiles and it reaches her eyes. “Thank you, good Hunter. I hope you find mommy. And Kitty!”

“And Kitty,” Changkyun laughs soft, pats softly at the girl’s head before stepping away, looking away. 

Fucking _ ouch _. Because the chances of this girl’s mother still being alive are… Well. Slim to none. But Changkyun still aims for the graveyard, hopes he can make that girl smile like that again.

_ “Cats,” _ Kihyun whispers around the air. _ “Nothing pure lasts in Aureum during the night. Rats the size of dogs would devour it in an instant. Not to mention the Werewolves.” _

“Even if the cat and her mother are dead,” Changkyun mumbles as he walks. “At least we can give the little girl some closure…”

* * *

The sky turns purple as the night settles in and the dark iron fence that encircles the graveyard shines like its made of obsidian. That’s when the first bell rings, and its sound echoes through the land, spreads and rushes through every street, every corner, every house. It’s the sound of despair, like a prelude to a nightmare that will always, _ always _ return. 

When Changkyun feels himself get scared, even just a little, he grips at the handle of the sword on his hip and takes a breath. 

The graveyard here is old, no longer used. With how many people have died since the monsters came, most have been cremated, and those who weren’t, buried in new plots outside the city. People fear death now in a way they never used to; because there are stories telling that, sometimes, the dead don’t stay dead.

_ “‘In the absence of light, darkness prevails’,” _ Kihyun whispers into the air. _ “That’s what the Church preaches. I wonder how much of it is true, how much they made up to cast fear inside people’s hearts.” _

“Well,” Changkyun swallows. “Only light can cast shadows. The brighter the light, the darker the shadow…”

There’s a chuckle that fades when the next bell rings. _ “Well, well, well… Doesn’t that sound familiar.” _

Changkyun frowns. “What do you mean?”

_ “They came down from above as the will of God, a light that would cast away the shadows. But they forgot that the brighter the light, the darker the shadow it casts.” _

Changkyun chews on his bottom lip, looking around the graveyard as he walks between the tombstones. 

“Is my sword seriously quoting the bible at me?” Changkyun jokes. “Am I not having a bad enough day as it is?”

_ “Not every truth should be spoken… Since, if it came up, it would shatter this realm to the ground. But you don’t seem to mind, and I clearly don’t, either. I just find it rather hilarious… But maybe… Maybe you’ll do fine.” _

“Nice to know you have a sense of humor,” Changkyun mumbles. _Random guy, this one._

The black of the night settles in like a blanket as the bells ring in the distance, the cold clinging to the leather on Changkyun’s body and leaving droplets on it. When the last of it rings in a deep echo, the ground shakes as it resonates in the dungeons beneath the city.

There must have been a time when the pureness of the night would bring comfort. How blessed must have those people been, whose lives had no fears, no dreads, to whom sleep was a blessing that came at sundown, and brought nothing but sweet dreams.

Today, the night starts with a shriek that echoes all the way from White Cathedral’s direction, followed by the rattling of chains nearby, the howl of dogs not too far behind, a scream or two that are muffled by the Werewolves’ roars.

Nowadays, the nights are dark, cold and full of terrors.

_ “Changkyun,” _ Kihyun warns in a whisper. And, in that same second, a deformed, quadrupedal creature, whose skin is peeled off and hanging from its back, crosses the back of the graveyard from one side to the other.

Changkyun can hear it even all the way from the front gate, can see how malnourished it is, what with its skeletal appearance. It looks weak, but Changkyun knows better than to underestimate anything that crawls the grounds at night in a place like this.

_ We can kill it, right? _

_ “Is that a serious question…?” _

_ Do you know what it is? _

_ “A Bloodbeast, but this one looks thin… They used to sniff for women on their monthly time. Nowadays… I’m not sure. But it’s not pretty. It’s erratic, fast. Don’t get cocky.” _

_ Pretty sure you’re the cocky one here _... 

Changkyun takes a breath and takes the sword in hand, treading carefully as he moves behind the creature as it circles the graveyard. There's really no way to know if this thing killed that girl’s mother. But, either way, one less monster makes for a better world.

_ Trusting you with my life, here. _

_ “Smartest thing you’ve done since we’ve met.” _

The Bloodbeast stops, its long finger-like nails digging into the soft dirt before it raises one of its front legs and turns enough to look at Changkyun. Changkyun’s stomach turns at the sight of it; it’s truly disgusting to look at, rotten skin and flesh dangling from festering bones. It smells like death, and it’s looking right at him.

“Hey, beautiful,” Changkyun mutters, and the creature roars, a shrieking noise that makes Changkyun wince, makes goosebumps trail up his arms. _ Nasty _.

And without a warning, the creature crouches and jumps. Changkyun barely has time to react, the sword in his hand quickly weighing down and to the side as it turns into a hammer and then into the axe they’d gotten from Minhyuk this afternoon.

The axe transforms and stretches, pushes against Changkyun and sends him out of the way just in time to avoid the creature’s bodyslam. Its claw catches onto the axe just as it mists and reappears as a sword in Changkyun’s hand.

_ “Are you alright...?” _

_ Yeah, _Changkyun thinks, eyes up as he tries to remember what little sword training he’s gotten, swiping up when the creature swings. But the sword catches between the its claws, so Changkyun flicks it, puts his weight behind it and hears a snap.

Something green-like drips. It’s not blood. It’s red. It’s green and it smells like rotten eggs.

_ “It’s poi--” _

The creature shrieks and swings with its other claw, hits Changkyun’s side and sends him flying a little against a gravestone. It fucking _ hurts _, by the prophet… But Changkyun stands up, looks at his hand that burns.

“Poison,” Changkyun grits out. “Of fucking course.”

_ “It hasn’t fed, it bleeds poison instead of blood.” _

“Hasn’t fed?” Changkyun asks, dodging to the side when the creature lunges at him, Changkyun twisting around to cut at its shoulder before jumping back. “Could the mother still be alive, then?”

_ “Or have been killed by something else…” _

“That’s the spirit,” Changkyun scoffs and yelps, ducking underneath a swipe the creature makes for his head.

Kihyun was right, this thing is erratic _ and _ nimble with its movements. It doesn’t get off Changkyun. He dodges and it’s on him again, literally, like it’s starved for blood. It breaks through the gravestones to get to him when he tries to use them as a shield. It lifts the dirt off the ground when it gallops towards him in the most nightmarish image he’s ever seen. And whenever he’s too close, the monster sweats a shroud of poison that burns at his skin.

_“I’ve always hated these things,”_ Kihyun whispers around the air just as Changkyun dodges another swing of _death._ _“Even though I used to pity them…”_

“Can it be--” Changkyun jumps out of the way, grunts as he makes an attempt to stab at the creature but it just goes through its ribcage, slashing at the rotten flesh. “Dead already!”

The creature cries out. But, this time, instead of sending Changkyun flying a few meters to the side, it grabs him, claws enclosing around his torso and sinking into him just enough to grant pressure.

The sword in Changkyun’s hand mists away as if to fall and suddenly a spear-like sword, pierces the monster’s arm, making it let go of Changkyun as it gives a shrill scream and crawls back.

Kihyun phases himself closer to Changkyun and grabs at his arm to pull him up. A reminder that Kihyun _ can _touch him, which is weird to think considering Changkyun knows he’s the only one who can see him. “I’m starting to feel visceral hatred towards that thing…” Kihyun grumbles, glare pointed at the creature.

“You and me both,” Changkyun says, coughs. He knows it’s the poison, hopes whatever healing Kihyun had given him for those lashes will work for this, too. “How _ do _we kill it? It already looks half-dead.”

Kihyun sighs, gives Changkyun a quick glance and then frowns. “Back in the day, some beasts were taken in by the Church. They made experiments on them, tried to understand them, what they were. But any cut on these things heals far too fast. So, they had to be skinned alive in order for the Healers to collect their blood for study.” Kihyun looks back at the creature. “This… is the result. And that’s why is craves blood.”

Changkyun’s stomach turns and he knows he’s making a face when he glances at Kihyun. “Have I mentioned how much I fucking _ hate _the Church?”

Kihyun raises an eyebrow, but keeps his eyes on the Bloodbeast. “Hm. I was wondering how many more Priests had to rub on you before you said it out loud but… I understand.”

Changkyun shivers when he remembers that, remembers that Priest that had come to the castle when he was little just to scare him. 

“Never mention that again,” Changkyun grumbles, feels heat pool in his… hand? _ What? _The creature shrieks again and Changkyun looks up, has to dodge out of the way again and huffs when he presses his back against the mausoleum. And he winces again, brings his hand up to his chest. Is it the poison that’s making it burn like this? 

_ Kihyun, why is my hand on fucking fire _?!

The creature turns to Changkyun and a sword hurls itself at it, cuts through one of its legs to slow it down as it passes and then phases into Kihyun when he slides over the dirt and looks over.

“What…?” he asks, frowns and quickly looks at the monster when it growls.

Changkyun blinks at his hand, and just like that, and without it burning in the slightest, sees flames dance over his hand, his fingers. Like… 

“Magic,” Changkyun breathes, looks up with wide eyes at Kihyun. “What _ are _you?” 

The creature roars, and when Changkyun snaps his head to look, it’s right there.

As if on instinct, Changkyun puts his hand out, pushes the heat past his palm and into the creature’s face.

There’s a shriek from Hell, something hot and bright burning in a spiral that encircles the creature, burns the dangling skin that falls from its back, makes the air crack, and flickers, flares, leaps, spits and showers the sky with sparks like a fountain.

The creature stumbles back, clawing at its own head. And even though Kihyun seems to stare, just as much as Changkyun does, in a blink, a sword pierces through the monster’s skull.

When the monster sinks down in a low growl, the hilt of the sword phases and mists into Kihyun’s body, his arm still a blade stuck in rotten, burnt flesh. But when he pulls, harsh, the nasty sound it makes loses itself in the silence of the night, the creature falling to the ground and crumbling, and Kihyun’s arm misting into itself as blood, even though very little of it, curls its way towards his hand and then disappears.

“It’s done,” Kihyun mumbles, eyes on his palm as his fingers close and stretch and then close again. With a sigh, though, he lets his hand down and glances over. “Come on, we have a person to find.”

Changkyun stares at the creature, at his hand that looks… normal, completely normal. _W_ _ hat the fuck _. 

“Kihyun, did I just--” he looks up at him, eyes wide. “How did I do that?”

Kihyun blinks, slowly, and then looks away. “I wasn’t sure you’d be able to… but it makes sense… You can heal fast. It makes sense…”

Changkyun blinks. “Er, _ no _. No, it doesn’t, what are you talking about?!”

“Hunters,” Kihyun mumbles. “They’re connected to this blight. They go through what the Church calls the Hunter’s Joining so they can be able to fight the scourge of beasts. The Priests call it ‘The Blessing of God’, considering these people are granted miracles beyond them. They develop fast healing, advanced senses, extra strength and speed and… magic. Hunters can use magic.” Kihyun looks down. “We… We’re connected, you and I. And even though you didn’t go through any ‘joining’, being connected to me means being connected to this, them,” he says as he gestures at the dead creature. “I’m the key to a door you wouldn’t be able to look through without a connection to these beasts.”

Changkyun looks back down at his hand, curls it into a fist and nods, taking a breath. When he looks at Kihyun, though, he’s not sure what expression he’s wearing. “What are you?”

Kihyun looks at his fingers and then up at the sky. “Eternal… Fear… Death… A weapon. And… Kihyun.” He glances over. “Or I was Kihyun. Now I’m just… what I am.”

“And what does that make me?”

“It makes you… you. With an edge,” Kihyun says and smiles a little. _ A smile. _

“You should do that more often,” Changkyun says, sighs as he looks around, holds his own hand and steps over some broken tombstone rock. “Come on, eyes wide for a green brooch...”

Kihyun looks down and then turns away as he begins to scout the graveyard. “Any person in their right mind knows that they need to get home when the bells ring. If that woman didn’t… maybe it’s because something stopped her,” he says as he walks between the gravestones, touching a few with the tips of his fingers. “That little girl… Why do you want to help her?”

Changkyun frowns, thumbs at the palm of his hand. “She asked for it, you know? That should be enough…”

“Should it? Would you? Even if help never comes?”

“People only ask for help when they’re desperate,” Changkyun mumbles. “But she’s just a little girl, scared, without her mother.” Changkyun looks to Kihyun, hums a little before he asks. “Is it odd to you that I want to help her?”

Kihyun stops and looks at a cover roof near the small chapel. “I don’t know… I guess I’m just trying to understand why anyone would,” he says before he frowns and phases, the mist floating all the way up to the roof and phasing again there. Kihyun stares at something Changkyun can’t see for a moment and then kneels down to pick something up, something that glints in the air when he throws it up at Changkyun. “I’m sorry…”

Changkyun catches the brooch before he knows what it even is, heart tight when he looks down at it, fingers closing around it. “Can you tell what happened…?”

“There’s only one thing that doesn’t shred its victims to pieces,” Kihyun mutters, shifts as he straightens back up. “A Vampire. It makes sense why she’s on a roof. They don’t feed on the ground.” Kihyun glances at Changkyun and blinks himself down, next to him. “They say it’s painless. But I wouldn’t know.”

Changkyun sucks in a breath. “And Kitty?” Changkyun asks, looking at him. “It probably killed the cat, too, didn’t it?”

“Maybe,” Kihyun says, looks around. “But it doesn’t seem to be here…” When Kihyun’s eyes catch Changkyun’s, though, Kihyun adds, “We can keep looking for Kitty, if you want. The night is young and the doors are barred. We’re out until morning comes.”

“If you don’t mind, I’d like to keep looking,” Changkyun mumbles, puts the brooch into his pocket as he keeps walking.

Kihyun scoffs a laugh but before Changkyun can look, his hand weights with a sword in it. _ “Since when do you care about what I want? And since when have I not been bored to the bone?” _

“We just went monster hunting, how can you possibly be bored?”

_ “Bring me to a Cleric Hag and we’ll talk.” _

Changkyun huffs a laugh and sighs. At least they’ll be able to give that little girl some closure. And if that isn’t enough, finding Kitty will definitely help balance things out. After all, there’s a difference between losing everything and losing just enough.

_ “Closure…” _ Kihyun whispers around the air. _ “You keep bringing that up.” _

“Yes. The truth is never pretty, or perfect, but it’s the truth, and they deserve that much.”

_ “Not every truth brings closure… Not every truth helps.” _

“That’s not the point.”

_ “Then, what is the point?” _

“It’s the truth, Kihyun. There’s no point.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now playing: Blood Starved Beast by SIE Sound Team.
> 
> [Youtube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=94n3p5ziADs) /[Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/56G4mS1njaKZT6Pi9YyOyg?si=FDl5vXc6RmybCtrZMeqYUQ)


	4. Tenebrae Vincunt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Night, the biggest killer of all, and Changkyun walks through it without fear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tenebrae Vincunt - Shadows Thrive
> 
> [ cw for suicide ]

_ “The utter unbroken silence was more appalling than any ominous noise, than the loudest yells of anguish, than the most piercing screaming… Dead silence. Literally dead.” _

_ _ Simona Panova _ _

_ _ _ _

The look on the girl’s face breaks Changkyun’s heart a little. Because she’s so small, so young and yet, behind the tears, she looks so numb… Like she already knew the news she was going to get, like she doesn’t want to pick up the broken pieces of her heart. 

She’s too damn young to have so many broken pieces. But she takes the brooch, thanks Changkyun (for what, he doesn’t know) and closes the door. It clicks to the sound of a baby crying inside the house. But there’s nothing Changkyun can do to help. Nothing else, at least. He couldn’t even find the damn cat.

The sun is barely halfway up and it already burns through him, like it’s trying to eat his soul.

_ “It can try,” _ a voice says. _ “But your soul is mine.” _

* * *

One contract down. 

It feels like something more than ‘one contract down’, but those are the words Changkyun tells Minhyuk. Those and--

“Great weapon,” Changkyun mumbles, as he sits down at one of the tables. He should eat but he’s not hungry. He glances at Arrate and wonders what piercing he should get. “Killed a Bloodbeast. That was fun.”

Minhyuk gapes. “Wha--”

Arrate blinks up, eyes a little wide, and glances at Minhyuk, who’s still just gaping, speechless. “A… A Bloodbeast? Really?!” she asks, looking back to Changkyun.

“They’re disgusting, I wouldn’t recommend it,” he smiles, gestures widely at his face. “What would you suggest? I said I’d celebrate, after all.”

“Oh,” Arrate blinks really fast as if surprised by the light change of subject. “I’d say…” She narrows her eyes and crosses her arms, brings her thumb up to her lips, black nail pressing against the pink skin. “An eyebrow piercing? Think it might look good?” She says, questioning, smiling a little and shrugging.

Changkyun straightens up, nods. “Oh! That might not get snagged on something and hurt me in the process,” Changkyun scoffs, reaches up to touch his eyebrow. “We’ll do that, then. If I’m a Hunter now, I guess I can embrace the whole badass aesthetic, right?”

Arrate giggles. “I suppose? Should I clean my tools, then? For later?”

Changkyun smiles in that way he knows makes his cheeks dimple, eyes bright. “Yes, _ pwease.” _

“Alright,” Arrate nods and gives Minhyuk another glance before turning to walk towards the back of the shop, the dangling web they call a curtain wiggling in the doorway after she passes by. 

_ “Did I really save your skin just so you could go and make holes in it?” _ a voice, Kihyun’s, asks as it fills the air.

Changkyun grins to himself. _ Holes can be fun _.

_ “Detabale.” _

_ What, you don’t approve? _

_ “I don’t care enough to disapprove.” _

_ Good enough for me _.

Changkyun looks to Minhyuk, who's now busy putting some flasks on display on the glass window the counter has on the left. Colourful flasks, those ones. Some green, some red, a few in-between.

“Are those potions?” Changkyun asks, only half kidding. 

“Depends,” Minhyuk says without looking over. “Molotovs on the left, oils on the right. Oil stacks, molotov burns.”

Changkyun hums, sitting back, taking off his coat and draping it on the chair next to him, enjoying the way his sleeves puff out a little from the leather vest. “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course,” Minhyuk says, straightening up and rolling his shoulders as he turns to walk closer.

“You work with Hunters… How much do you know about magic?”

“Hm… I know that--” Minhyuk turns back against the counter and uses both hands to hop on it, turning a little to sit on his leg and look at Changkyun. “There’s different types of magic. But not much is known of magic, overall.”

“That frustrates me a fair bit, not going to lie to you,” Changkyun mumbles. “Not you, the--the general lack of understanding over something so fascinating.”

“True, I suppose. But, hm, I know that there’s the Hunters’ magic? It has something to do with the Joining. I don’t know what kind of ritual it is but… it connects them to… something? Something more, something that isn’t just this, the physical realm. And then there’s blood magic. Dangerous, forbidden but… powerful. Really, really powerful.”

Changkyun glances at his sword--Kihyun--on the table next to him. “I think I’ll pass on that,” Changkyun says, tone light. He glances at the door, too. Jooheon… Should be arriving soon. Changkyun wants to see his friend, but honestly, he also just really wants to go to sleep. “There aren’t a lot of Hunters, right?” he asks. “I’ve been the only person here, except for you and Arrate.”

“There’s a few. Eileen, she’s the oldest. Haven’t seen Daniel in a while. And then there’s Hyungwon, the newbie. But he was here three days ago, so he should only return next week, unless he runs into a Cleric Hag and runs out of ammo. Or he dies and never comes back.”

_ Cleric Hag. That’s what you wanted to go up against, right? _

_ “Careful,” _ Kihyun whispers. _ “The Church might hear you and call it blasphemy.” _

_ Pretty sure saying ‘fuck the Church’ is worse. _

“Ammo,” Changkyun says. “So he uses guns?”

Minhyuk grins. “A shotgun, a rifle and a trick spear weapon.”

_ Can you turn into a shotgun? That’s pretty cool... _

_ “Get me one and I might.” _

Changkyun opens his mouth to say something, but stops when the door to the shop opens, a very familiar, very nervous face peeking in.

Minhyuk hops off the counter and turns, quickly greeting Jooheon with a half-smile and a, “Good morning. Welcome to the Workshop.”

Jooheon clearly swallows, bows his head a little and looks to Changkyun, shoulders slumping when he sees him. “Kyun,” Jooheon breathes out as he walks in and Changkyun realises he’s just been staring. “You’re… You’re alright.”

It’s not even a second before Changkyun is being pulled into a hug, Jooheon sighing as if in relief when he squeezes a little.

“Course I am,” Changkyun says, glances at Minhyuk over Jooheon’s shoulder before patting at his friend’s back. “You know me, too dumb to die.”

“And too stubborn to duck,” Jooheon huffs as he lets go, hands on Changkyun’s shoulders before they drop. He looks around, sees Minhyuk looking at them and then looks to Changkyun again, expression a little expectant. “So… Are you finally going to tell me what’s going on?”

“I’ll try,” Changkyun smiles small, glances at Minhyuk, smile turning a little devious. “If I tell it here, will you pour us some brandy?”

Minhyuk leans over the counter with a frown before raising an eyebrow. “What am I, your butler?” His nose scrunches and he gestures vaguely at the back of the shop. “There’s whiskey by the fireplace. You can talk in there.”

“Thanks, Min,” Changkyun says, puts a hand on Jooheon’s back and leads him through the dangling strings that make up the curtain, reaching for the whiskey as they pass the fireplace and handing Jooheon the two glasses that sat with it. “I know you don’t really drink, but you might want to.”

“This is a weird place to meet,” Jooheon says, eyes on the glasses. “Coming here already made me wish I’d had one of two of these,” he says, wiggling one of the glasses.

“Might have to get used to it” Changkyun mumbles, serving whiskey before putting the bottle back and taking a glass, clinking it against Jooheon’s. “I kinda, sort of, maybe live here now.” Changkyun takes a sip, feels it burn as he swallows, wincing a little. “A bit.”

Jooheon keeps his eyes on his glass, a concerned frown between his eyebrows. “Someone came by to ask for you… But nothing very dramatic. The King thought it was suspicious and asked to see you, but his request was denied.” Jooheon sighs and drinks the whole glass, like a shot, shivering and wincing a little when he does. “God, ugh. I hate alcohol.” 

Changyun huffs as he plops himself down on one of the armchairs. “I’m not surprised they didn’t tell him what really happened…” Changkyun drinks, but when he shivers, he knows it’s not the alcohol. “God, whatever you do, Jooheon, do _ not _let the Church take you.”

Jooheon glares at his glass like it’s the source of all his problems and then glances at one of the armchairs, sits down as well. “They… said you had the plague. But,” he looks at Changkyun. “That’s impossible. I saw you yesterday in the morning… and… You’re fine, right? I thought it had to be a lie.”

“It is,” Changkyun mutters, eyes on his drink. “Never had the fucking plague. Don’t think any of the people they keep there had even the notion of a plague.” Changkyun looks up at Jooheon, unsure of his expression. “It’s just an excuse, I think, to keep people there, to do whatever they want with them.”

“What… What do you mean?” Jooheon asks, looking scared, confused, tired...

Changkyun sighs, sitting forward as he ruffles at his hair. “They… After what happened with my brother, they put a bag over my head, took me to some… underground clinic. They seem to be fond of those, really,” Changkyun scoffs. “They took my clothes and showered me in the coldest fucking water in this realm... Strapped me down, and took so much blood I thought I was going to just die there and then…” Changkyun looks at the whiskey, before throwing the rest of it down his throat. “Passed out, blacked out, something like that. Woke up in some fucking dungeon, hands cuffed to the ceiling and…” Changkyun looks down. “Just… don’t let the Church take you, Joo.”

The silence that fills the room is the kind of silence that falls right before someone gets a knife in the back. It sends a shiver down Changkyun’s spine and he feels the blood chill in his veins when memories resurface.

“I… I just,” Jooheon breathes out, eyes cast down. “I don’t get it. You were fine. Suddenly, you started acting weird. Then you almost killed your brother in your sleep… The Church…” He takes a deep breath and leans back on the armchair, clearly uncomfortable. “They say one thing, clearly a lie. You say another but… I don’t know what to believe anymore… Everything is a mess.”

Changkyun swallows. “I… When we went to the Black Cathedral, I touched something I really shouldn’t have. I told you, I think, the dagger--” When Changkyun looks up, Kihyun has his arms crossed over the back of Jooheon’s armchair, eyes dark and on him.

“Is it wise to tell him?” Kihyun asks. “The more he knows, the more danger he’ll be in. The more he knows about the shadows around you, the more he will want to save you from them.”

Changkyun looks down and continues, chest tight, “I can’t explain it, but just know that… That I can’t come home. That I’m doing what I have to. That I’m not going to die anytime soon.”

Jooheon scoffs a bitter laugh. “And what am I supposed to do with that, Kyun? What do I _ do? _ I don’t even know what’s going on! God, I shouldn’t even be talking to you… You’re--I don’t know--” Jooheon rolls his eyes. “Unworthy of salvation? Whatever that Priest said…”

Changkyun scoffs. “Salvation? From what, exactly?” Changkyun shakes his head, looks up but when he looks at Jooheon, he just feels… Guilty. 

“‘The plague is God’s punishment and those who resist are unworthy of salvation’, _ blablablabla,” _ Jooheon dramatizes.

“Pretty sure the guy who said that thinks his dick purifies people of sin, too,” Changkyun grits out, looks away. Has to, with Kihyun standing right there.

Kihyun huffs a breath. “If the need for salvation didn’t exist, the Church would surely find its invention necessary. Who doesn’t want salvation when the world looks like this?”

Changkyun feels his stomach drop, looking up past Jooheon to Kihyun and back down. “It’s all just rotten, Joo. This city is a wound, and it’s festering…”

Jooheon frowns. “Did you do something? Something bad? Are you sick with anything? Just answer that, and I’ll believe you.”

“He is,” Kihyun says, grins a little, “Sick with insight.”

Changkyun wants to roll his eyes but stops. It wouldn’t look great, all things considered. “I’m not sick. As for doing something bad… Depends who you ask, I guess.”

Jooheon sniffles even as he frowns some more and then sighs, stands up. “Of all the things in the damn world, you had to go and face the one no one can beat.” He huffs a laugh. “Sounds just like you…”

Changkyun smiles, looks up at Jooheon. “Killed a monster, though… A big, ugly one.”

“Turned it into a cloud of precipitated coagulation,” Kihyun sing-songs. It’s the first time he sounds happy about anything at all. It makes Changkyun smile just a little more.

“Like,” Jooheon hesitates. “A Hunter…?”

Changkyun purses his lips in a smile and nods, small. “Like a Hunter… Might as well use all this for good, right?”

Jooheon huffs a laugh and looks down, smile faint. “Right… I… Look, I… Shit. I still don’t get it. Any of this. But I know you won’t explain it to me, probably because it’s crazy and--”

“Batshit, yeah.”

“But whatever you need, whatever you’ve done or not done, you know you can count on me, yeah?” Jooheon asks. And when he looks up, he seems hopeful.

Changkyun’s heart tugs a little and he stands up, punches lightly at Jooheon’s shoulder. “Same goes for you. You know where to find me, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

* * *

It hurts like a bitch, but it looks pretty cool. Changkyun gets up to his room and checks his reflection in the mirror; two little studs, one below and one above his left eyebrow. 

He really is embracing this whole rogue hunter thing now… 

Kihyun doesn’t look entirely impressed, but then again, Changkyun’s soul might be his, but his body isn’t. So, _ deal with it _.

In any case, Changkyun sleeps through most of the daylight hours, only waking up an hour before sundown, red eyes staring at him from across the room, shining a little with the low orange colours of the sunset.

This is his life now. Darkness, night, red eyes.

“See something you like?” Changkyun asks, yawning as he pulls on his clothes. He’s thankful he took a bath before he passed out--didn’t want to risk getting any stray monster gunk on the bed.

“Wondering, that’s all,” Kihyun mumbles.

“About what, exactly?”

“How long it would take before you woke up. Figured staring at you with killing intent might accelerate the process but you just slept like a rock through the entire thing. I keep saying,” Kihyun sighs, leans away from the wall and glances at the window. “You like Death.”

“There _ are _ other ways to wake me up,” Changkyun grins, scoffing as he looks away, shakes his head but glances over nonetheless. “I do?”

“What, like Death?” Kihyun asks like he’s not interested in neither the question nor the answer he’s supposed to give. “Obviously.”

Changkyun rolls his eyes. “He waits for me to wake up and then gets annoyed two sentences into the conversation,” Changkyun says, buttoning the vest over his chest. 

“You like the unexplored, the unexpected. Haven’t known you long enough but you’re rather transparent. You like the thing that is hidden and the thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. You like to know. Death is the unknown. You experience a bit of it and you like it, because then, in that moment, you know. You’ll always like it before your morals take a hold of you.”

Changkyun reaches for his coat, on the chair next to Kihyun. “Your thinking is too dichotomous. Like, dislikes… I don’t _ like _Death.” He pulls his coat on, watches Kihyun carefully. “I’m fascinated by it.”

Kihyun gives Changkyun a side-glance and smiles a little. “I apologize for the unfortunate choice of words. That does sound… better.”

“Words are important,” Changkyun smiles. “Didn’t you call yourself Death, once?”

“Not just once,” Kihyun says, looks back to the window. The golden hour makes him look almost human when it shines on his face like this. “I’ve been Death for longer than I have been Kihyun. Now I have a chance to be both.”

Changkyun smiles, leaning against the wall, next to the window. “You think you’re entirely apart from this world except in death, but look,” Changkyun lifts his hand by Kihyun’s face, smiles when he can see the shadow of it on his skin. “The light touches you, too.”

Kihyun frowns a little but stays silent, misting and quickly shifting towards Changkyun’s waist, a sword wrapping its sheath belt around his him before it weighs on him a little.

Changkyun smiles to himself, runs his hand along the sword. And Kihyun stays like that, on his hip, all the way to the little girl’s house, passing people on their way home, passing decrepit buildings that stand together along the damp streets that haven’t seen rain in weeks.

Changkyun doesn’t know _ why _he wants to check on the little girl. But he’s curious. He wants to make sure it wasn’t all or nothing.

His heart drops into his stomach, though, when outside the girl’s door, the Healer’s carriage, black, cleaner than anything around it, waits like some omen in the street. Changkyun's hands begin to tremble with something that isn’t fear but runs in his veins the same way fear does; anticipation. 

A few people gather, only to take a look and then move along. Why? Because this isn’t unusual. This is just their everyday life. And when a few nuns exit the house, one carrying a sleeping baby in her arms, the others helping transport a body on a wooden plank covered by a white sheet, Changkyun’s heart doesn’t just drop, it eats itself from the inside out.

He doesn’t move, just stares, and the man next to him shakes his head, eyes on the carriage. 

“The wailin’ got people checkin’ what was goin’ on in there,” he says, uninvited. “‘Pparently the girl gone and hanged ‘erself. A shame, really.”

“Yeah,” Changkyun says, taking a step back and startling when he hits a wall, hand flying to it and heart loud. “Yeah,” he says again, for no real reason, he just… does. And the world is nothing but white noise for as long as he keeps walking, without direction. 

It’s in an alleyway--and he only realises it’s an alleyway halfway through it--that Changkyun just lets himself press his back against a wall, sliding down to his ass. It helps with the breathing, it helps, but his heart just… whatever is left of it, jumps to his throat when he feels at his hip and there’s nothing there.

It’s almost sundown and, suddenly, Changkyun feels naked, feels entirely vulnerable.

“Kihyun?” Changkyun asks the air, shocked at how he sounds. Because he barely does. He barely sounds. And maybe because of that or because Kihyun is not around, no voice whispers back.

Changkyun’s breaths become a little ragged, rash. The walls around him dip into red as the sun sinks and the sky begins to turn purple. And when the bells ring in the distance, Changkyun’s heart comes back to pump blood and fear into his system.

He hears them coming, the soft susurration of footsteps, like a threatening whisper. But he doesn’t see them coming because he’s too busy trying not to tremble.

“Hey,” Kihyun says then, stopping in front of Changkyun and crouching to meet his eyes. A cat that looks like a giant grey loaf is stuck between Kihyun’s arms, and sits on his legs then Kihyun lowers it just enough over his lap. “Look… It’s Kitty. She came back.”

Changkyun stares, between Kihyun and the loaf of fluffy fur, hands trembling when he reaches over to take the cat that meows softly as if in complaint about being manhandled. It wouldn't have occurred to Changkyun, in that moment, to ask why Kihyun could touch that animal. But he would learn, later on, that some things have a magic of their own and that everything happens for a reason.

“Hey, Kitty,” Changkyun breathes, and the cat curls up against his chest, meowing softly. Changkyun hears himself sniff, looking up at Kihyun with eyes that water. “Thank you…”

Someone else would have said, ‘I told you so’. Because Kihyun did, in a way. Sometimes, people can’t live with the truth. And maybe Kihyun was right, maybe the world would perish if the truth came up. But all he says when he looks between Changkyun and the cat is;

“She might not be as lucky tonight. We should take her to the Workshop. She’ll be safe there.”

Changkyun nods, opens his coat with one hand and sort of wraps the front of it over the cat, holding it close to his chest as he gets up. “Keep us safe, okay?”

Kihyun stands up and glances at the end of the street, towards where bells still ring in the distance. “Always,” he says as he turns to walk. “Come. The night is nigh.” And the last bell rings, echoing through the city.

Night, the biggest killer of all, and Changkyun walks through it without fear.

* * *

Changkyun stays in, and he sleeps the turmoil of feelings and emotions away. 

Sometimes, he opens his eyes, sees the night still outside, hears the occasional howl, but looks to the side and sees Kihyun sitting on the floor, legs crossed, pointing a pocket mirror at the wall to cast the reflected light there and have the cat chase it. But, eventually, Changkyun turns around and sleeps again.

At some point, Changkyun hears a noise nearby and opens his eyes to see a leather whip hanging from the ceiling, tip tracing quick paths on the wooden floor that the cat chases.

When the cat bites the whip, Kihyun mists back and scares it so it will run.

It makes Changkyun laugh. He pulls the spare pillow closer into a hug and squishes his cheek against his own pillow as he watches them, watches the cat whirl around in confusion.

_ Poor thing. _

“Having fun?” Changkyun teases, knows full well Kihyun will insist he can’t have fun, that only the _ joy of killing is fun, blah blah blah. _

“I’m training this creature,” Kihyun says, casually, unbothered. “It will become a weapon of mass destruction within the week.”

“Well, it does have claws,” Changkyun smiles. “Think we can get you some? That should be interesting…”

It’s so fast that Changkyun only sees it when it sticks to the wall after piercing through it, a throwing knife, small but sharp and, apparently, made of silver.

It vanishes before Changkyun can grab it, and Kihyun reappears by the cat. “I don’t need claws,” he says.

Changkyun scoffs, raises a hand and curls his fingers like claws. “Rawr.”

Kihyun pokes the cat’s head and then sighs, looks down. “Are we going somewhere tomorrow?”

“Yes, yes,” Changkyun says, dropping his hand and stretching as he sits up. “Wouldn’t want you to get bored...”

“I’m hardly bored,” Kihyun mumbles. “Time passes differently for me than it does for mortals. Your life is a blink in mine. So, worry not,” he leans back and slowly lets himself lie on the floor, eyes on the ceiling. “I’ve gotten practice at doing nothing for the past decades.”

Changkyun lets out a low whistle. “Decades. That’s how long you were a dagger on a table at the bottom of a church? That’s rough.”

“Is it?” Kihyun says. “Barely noticed it.”

“Probably all that practice you did,” Changkyun says, smiling at Kihyun, puffing his cheeks. “Wanna go choose the next contract?”

“As long as I don’t have to do the choosing part, yes.”

Changkyun pouts. “What? Why not?”

“Because I don’t care. But I’ll follow you wherever you go.”

Changkyun narrows his eyes at Kihyun, getting up from the bed. “Nope. Not going anywhere unless you choose it.”

Kihyun blinks slowly at the ceiling. “Fine, the one on the right.”

“There’s a buuuuunch on the right.”

“Yes, the one at the top, on the right. There. Chosen.”

Changkyun sticks his tongue out. “For an all-powerful, killing machine, you’re pretty dull. Thought you’d be _ sharp _. Get it? Like a knife? No?”

Kihyun glances over. “What, full of hatred with a tragic backstory as a side dish?” He huffs a laugh and looks away, sits up. “Death can’t be Death if it’s fueled by hatred. It can’t be personal. Not coming from me, at least.”

“Ah, but Death is fascinating, remember?” Changkyun tilts his head, pokes at Kihyun’s shoulder. “All… mysterious and misunderstood,” Changkyun scoffs. 

“Interestingly enough,” Kihyun says, gets up. “I am probably the only one who doesn’t want to be understood while understanding far too much. Bloody curse, this one. Now, let’s pick that contract, Daisy flower.”

“Gladly.”

* * *

Changkyun points at the top one to the right, raising an eyebrow at Kihyun. 

“This one?”

“Sounds good,” Kihyun says without looking. Changkyun rolls his eyes and takes the paper, smooths it out to read.

_ My name is Vera. _

_ My old clinic has been ravaged by monsters and I’d like to have it back. _

_ I can’t take it on my own. But I did good work there. _

_ Maybe a Hunter will take pity on the people and help. _

_ The old clinic is in Old Aureum, Narrow Street. _

“Oooh, an abandoned clinic, ravaged by monsters,” Changkyun says, grinning a little at Kihyun and making himself sound a tad theatrical. “_ Spooky _. Nice choice, Grumpy.”

Kihyun just blinks, slowly, and then disappears, a sword weighting on Changkyun’s hip the next second.

_ Misting away when you don’t want to answer. Typical. _

“Going out?” Minhyuk asks as he passes by with a box filled to the top with incense. “Good hunting, then.”

“Ah, thanks,” Changkyun smiles, leans over to sniff at the incense and then make a face. “That is… strong. Damn.” He turns to the door before clicking his fingers, looking back to Minhyuk. “That stew! From last night? Best I’ve ever had.”

Minhyuk grins but says nothing, just walks to the back of the shop.

When Changkyun steps outside, he looks up and sees the clouds. They’re orange and black and they announce yet another sunset, and probably some rain, too. 

The streets are already empty by the time the bells ring. It’s better this way, but somehow it just makes the sound echo. Like the streets are the pipes of an organ, carrying notes through them. Terrible, haunting sounds that Changkyun is becoming far too familiar with.

_ My piercing already healed, _ Changkyun thinks idly as he walks. _ That’s you, right? _

_ “Mostly you,” _ Kihyun whispers, _ “You gain access to certain… abilities, through me. But I am not actively or passively making you heal or cast fire into beasts’ faces.” _

Changkyun lifts his hands, thinks about it, and watches small flames dance over his fingers. It makes him smile.

_ Odd time to be humble _… 

_ “It’s a fact.” _

Changkyun glances around. _ We’ll be there soon… How-- _ Changkyun frowns. _ Just answer me honestly. How assured are you of this? I know you say no one else will be able to kill me, and that’s honestly the only reason I feel I can go out and do these things but...How sure are you? Mistakes happen. Accidents happen... _

Changkyun bumps into Kihyun, who just materialized himself in his path, all of a sudden. And they’re close, really close. They’re close enough for Changkyun to see that Kihyun’s eyes aren’t just red matte. There are stripes of dark brown in between the red, like warmth, but also like blood.

“You’re afraid,” Kihyun says. “Afraid that I might fail, fail you.”

Changkyun looks over Kihyun’s face. And really, he has no right being this beautiful.

“How do I know you won’t?”

“I suppose you don’t,” Kihyun says. “You can trust that I won't, but whether you do or not is up to you and none of my business. I said I would protect you. And I don’t lie. As for mistakes… I don’t make mistakes.”

Changkyun narrows his eyes. It’s just a small step forward, a small movement, but he ducks his head, looks into Kihyun’s eyes nearly through his lashes. 

“Everyone makes mistakes.”

Silence stretches in a pregnant pause as the night settles in. All Changkyun sees is the warm crimson of Kihyun's eyes, but even that dims in the low light, becoming a stark contrast against the white.

Kihyun glances away as if to think. When he turns away, half his hand seems to mist, a single shot pistol appearing, like a ghostly figure in his hand. He points it at one of the lamps hanging from the roof of a broken building and shoots once, the sound making Changkyun jump and shiver with how it echoes in the stillness around them.

A breeze washes by and Changkyun can feel the humidity stick to the back of his neck. And then, as if far too close yet not enough, he startles when he hears the howls of dogs, dogs that sound far too big to be dogs, because no normal dog wanders through the streets of Aureum during the night.

Changkyun finds himself standing in the middle of an intersection, four open ways from where danger could come, and comes, approaching, the sound of something running towards him encapsulating inside his cocoon of unwanted despair that his mind seems to want to dip into.

“I guess I’ll show you, then,” Kihyun says, looking over his shoulder, his body far too transparent to look real, to look alive.

All Changkyun can find himself saying, thick as his voice may be, is, “Okay.”

A group of rabid dogs turns into one of the streets and crawls when they spot Changkyun in the middle of the intersection just a few paces away. And Changkyun doesn’t move. He doesn’t run away, as much as he wants to, he just… stays.

And trusts.

Because without it, he’ll die soon enough anyway.

One of the dogs, half its skull eaten by something, howls into the night sky, and from another street, another dog howls back, as the rest simply crawl closer.

Changkyun knows how rabid dogs, infected with the plague, hunt. He’s heard the stories. He knows they tend to circle around their targets before attacking, sometimes all at once. And the worst part, is that those teeth look likes the gates of Hell.

There’s a metal-like clunk and when Changkyun looks to Kihyun, Kihyun is gone. But there’s a mist spreading around Changkyun, the kind that tends to stick to graveyards, the kind that sometimes flows through the streets of Aureum, the kind that gives the city an ominous atmosphere.

Changkyun’s heart jumps when one of the dogs barks and starts running towards him--_ fast-- _and the others quickly follow their leader. Changkyun’s legs are frozen into place as the beasts gallop faster than any horse.

To them, Changkyun is the meat they’re meeting, a simple matter of matter to be consumed after the fear consumes him. They’re monsters, the lot of them, maybe once loyal beasts to someone else.

But as the first dog lurches forward, Changkyun’s sword sinks down into its skull as if it had fallen from the sky, sinking into the mud when it does. The sound it makes is stomach-turning, but then the sword is gone and Changkyun barely sees the dagger that speeds before his eyes as if thrown. It sinks into another dog’s skull before splitting into three swords with a sound that reminds Changkyun of a battle, swords clashing in the distance.

Three other dogs are slammed against the walls and two lose their heads. And every single dog that steps into the mist that surrounds Changkyun in that tiny intersection gets cut to pieces within seconds; scythes taking four at a time, swords falling from thin air or coming through the ground, a rain of metal and finally another shot.

This one kills an ugly rabid crow that had come out of nowhere.

Silence follows. The mist dissipates and Changkyun’s waist weighs again, a sword glinting by his side, clean of blood, before it sheathes itself.

_ “Let’s go.” _

And with a steady breath and a hand that comes up to his side, fingers around the hilt of the sword, Changkyun steps forward.

* * *

It stinks. The entire place just _ stinks. _

It stinks of the monsters that have decided to nest here, of old blood and stinking corpses. It stinks of outright despair; if that had a scent, and it does, it would be this.

Changkyun follows a new trail of blood, still red, still fresh, deeper into the clinic before he finds it; an Abhorration, a hunched beast with semblance to humans. It has long dark-grey fur and crooked red spikes on its back. Some of those are dripping with blood.

Maybe that’s what the smell is. _ Abhorrent _.

_ I would prefer this… quick, _Changkyun finds himself thinking. But hey, no wonder.

The creature stops rummaging through the rubble and sniffs the air in the darkness, turning its bright red eyes to glare at Changkyun the moment it spots him. It’s a big creature, it almost reaches the ceiling, and when it raises its arms, claws come out of its hands, one by one, like knives being readied for battle.

_ “Close combat might not be the brightest idea against this thing, so--” _ The weigh on Changkyun’s waist changes and a long silver scythe appears in his hand. Changkyun backs away, knows there’s a foyer not far away, and calls out;

“Hey, ugly!” 

The creature roars, and Changkyun doesn’t even see it lunge with how he turns around and runs, sprinting down the corridor and into the foyer, the creature loud behind him. When Changkyun turns around, he spins, swinging the scythe with the momentum that carries him through the cut he deals to it.

Kihyun quickly propels Changkyun backwards and away from the stumbling beast by turning into a trick spear weapon, piercing the ground and stretching into long range form to push Changkyun back. He falls through a wooden door, the floor now made of tiles making him slip and slide all the way against a wall.

In the corridor, Kihyun mists into himself only to flip back and turn into a sword again, misting towards Changkyun’s hand, who gets up, back against the wall. 

The beast seems to be going rampage, though, as it speeds through the corridor, bleeding all over the place and bursting into the room, ready to kill. However, Kihyun turns into a triple barrel pistol and Changkyun quickly shoots the creature in the face, making the silver bullets go in through one side and exit through the other.

When the monster falls, it falls just a few centimeters away.

Changkyun shivers and takes a step do the side. “Nasty...”

“Indeed,” someone says and, when Changkyun looks, he sees a person, a man. 

_ But not just any man._

Long black hair falls over his face, expression something between displeasure and boredom. His vests look familiar, but bloodied, the long black leather garb accompanied with a short leather cape being the only hint that makes Changkyun's mind glint, what with the silver details on it and the silver cross brooch.

A Hunter.

In the man's hand, a trick weapon. He clicks it back in place, like he had been ready to attack at any given chance, and holds it in his hand as he frowns at Changkyun.

“Who are you?” the man asks.

“The guy who just killed that,” Changkyun gestures with the pistol, eyes not leaving the Hunter’s face. “And you?”

“Chae Hyungwon,” the man says. “A Hunter.”

“Im Changkyun,” he greets, gives a small salute. “Hunter in all but title. Nice to meet you. Terrible place for it, though…”

“Hunter?” the man, Hyungwon, questions, eyes narrowing. He reaches back for the counter behind him and picks his Hunter Hat, recognizable by its withered feathers at the back. “You haven’t been sanctioned by the Church,” Hyungwon says as a matter of fact, brings the hat over his head and fixes it, before tugging at the Hunter Scarf and bringing it up to his nose.

“Nope,” Changkyun says, frowning. “Like I said, in all but title… Problem?”

Hyungwon frowns, but it’s barely visible with how his entire face is now hidden by both the scarf and hat, only his eyes glinting in the low light. “Depends. What brings you here, All-But-In-Title-Hunter?”

Changkyun blinks slowly, gestures back to the Abhorration. “Seemed a bit out of place for a clinic.” Wait, didn’t Minhyuk mention a Hyungwon? Hm.

“Ah, you’re cleaning this place up for Vera?” Hyungwon questions, amusement obvious despite how it sounds muffled by the cloth. “Interesting.”

“It was on the board,” Changkyun scoffs, glancing down at Kihyun in his hand. _ You’re quiet _. 

_ “He’s with the Church,” _ Kihyun whispers.

_ I’m not scared of the Church anymore _.

Hyungwon glances at the creature, dead on the floor and then up. He nods towards another corridor. “That door leads further into Vera’s clinic. There are a few living corpses crawling around the place. You might want to clean that up.”

“Pretty sure cleaning up wasn’t on the contract,” Changkyun teases, stepping after Hyungwon despite his tone.

_ “Living corpses are walking dead, Daisy flower.” _

_ I know, I’m just sassing him a bit. Church remember? _

Hyungwon doesn’t seem phased. “You might want to guard this place through the night as well,” he says. “Werewolves often come here to hunt other beasts. Killed one on my way in through the back.” He turns to walk towards where Changkyun just came from. “When you check on Vera in the morning, tell her I said ‘hi’.”

Changkyun raises an eyebrow, walks closer and holds a hand out to stop Hyungwon from passing. “Me? So, what, you see me here and just give the job away?” His gaze flicks down to Hyungwon’s chest. “Is that your blood?”

“If it were, I’d be dead,” Hyungwon deadpans. “And my job is not to give Vera back her clinic. My job is to kill beasts. Hunting is a Hunter’s job.”

Changkyun narrows his eyes, drops his hand. “Right. I forgot all the Church cares about is _ figures _.” Changkyun steps out of the way, keeps walking. “Tell Minhyuk I said ‘hi’.”

“Tell him yourself.” A pause. “Ah. About that gun of yours…”

Changkyun’s eyebrow twitches. He’s not even sure _ why _. “Yes?”

“Nothing,” Hyungwon says. But when he walks away, Changkyun still hears him mumble, “Must have imagined that…”

Changkyun licks his lips around a smile, looking down at the gun in his hand, oddly proud. Proud of what, he’s not so sure. 

Ahead, the door. It’s made of metal and it seems stuck. But Kihyun turns into shotgun (new weapon, courtesy of Minhyuk) and Changkyun shoots to break the rusty lock.

Only madness can do justice to the noises that suddenly come from within the dark room that stretches past the door that slowly falls open.

The floor is covered in muck and it smells like blood and rotten cheese. In it, corpses crawl towards the light, dragging their cut torsos through the muddy paste that seems to be part of them, too.

_ “How did these get in here?” _ Kihyun asks as he turns back into a sword.

Changkyun swallows, wincing at just--god, the _ smell _. “Patients?” Changkyun concentrates, feels his hand tingle again with warmth.

“Perhaps,” Kihyun says, now standing right next to Changkyun. “They were locked inside this room, maybe they were already infected and started to turn mid treatment.”

“Maybe,” Changkyun repeats, coughs from the stink and takes a small step forward, one hand up and his other arm instinctively coming out in front of Kihyun as he sends flames out into the faces of the crawling corpses.

They churn in their own much, crawling into their own bodies as everything dries and blackens before it’s eaten by the flames.

Changkyun brings his hand up to his mouth as he gags, turning away and, he realises, a little into Kihyun. 

“Lovely, isn’t it?” Kihyun asks in a mumble, eyes on the fire before they flick to Changkyun’s face. Which he knows can’t look great, tears in his eyes and skin probably a little green. It fucking _ stinks _ . He walks past Kihyun, bumping into his shoulder to just get out _ get out ,get out _. But then feels fingers around his wrist and a slight tug. “Wait.”

Changkyun coughs, features scrunched. “What is it?”

Kihyun pulls Changkyun along further into the dark room, embers lighting up the corners and casting a foul stench into the air. When Kihyun stops and pulls Changkyun just enough to have him look, he sees them; tanks, a few broken, others still filled with half alive, half dead creatures that bump against the glass, mouthing at it as if trying to eat the figure in front of them--Changkyun, himself.

“I think you need to have a talk with Lady Vera,” Kihyun mumbles.

If Changkyun’s stomach wasn’t already turning, it certainly is now. “What the fuck,” he breathes, hand over his mouth, still. “We can’t… We can’t just _ leave _them like this… They’re alive? God...”

Kihyun narrows his eyes at the tanks. “They’re alive… but barely.” He lets go of Changkyun and looks around. “Seems familiar, don’t you think? This room, in particular.”

On the walls around them, shelves filled with organs, flasks full of tongues--_ Black Cathedral’s underground clinic-- _and on the floor, stains of blood and who knows what else.

Changkyun looks to Kihyun with wide eyes, before he feels anger bubbling up under his skin, and it just intensifies the more he looks around, the more he recognizes. 

“Decades,” Changkyun says, jaw tense. “You were down there for decades. You’re telling me this has been going on for _ decades _?”

Kihyun looks at him. “Maybe. The Church used to… practice blood magic. They wanted to find a way to stop it, the scourge of beasts. Black Cathedral’s underground facilities were the center of it all. The blood magic rituals stopped after the massacre, though.” Kihyun looks around. “This doesn’t… _ look _ like the Church’s doing. But maybe someone who wants to recreate their past work…”

“Someone. Yeah, definitely going to need to have a _ talk _with Lady Vera.” Changkyun feels his stomach turn again, a shiver up his spine. “Going to need to stop me from burning this place to the ground…”

Kihyun chuckles, like he couldn’t help the small laugh, and looks away as if to hide it. “And why would I stop you from doing that?”

“Great, we’re on the same page,” Changkyun chirps and smiles, bitter and fake. He glances around again, sees one of those _ fucking needles,_ like the one they used on him_. _“Let’s get the fuck out of here…”

Kihyun mists himself into a sword and sheathes, belt wrapping around Changkyun’s waist. _ “After you, Daisy flower.” _

* * *

All Changkyun needs to do is ask after a ‘Vera’, and he is pointed in the right direction. And he tries not to stay angry, tries not to keep that feeling in his chest, but then he remembers. Then he sees that clinic going up in flames in front of him. Then he sees those faces, of people barely alive, and puts his hand on the weapon by his side, and just embraces it.

He knocks harshly on the door, just as the sun peaks over the horizon and the bells ring.

It’s morning. And what a way to start a morning.

Changkyun hears a bunch of locks being undone on the other side of the door. When it opens, a woman, hair blonde and tied up in a messy bun, glasses slipping down her nose and lips so thin and pale they’re almost non existent, stares at him.

“Good morning,” she says, eyes narrowing. She very obviously stands in the slight open space, like she’s barring the way. “Can I help you with something?”

Changkyun smiles tensely, glancing over her shoulder into the house. “You wanted a Hunter to clear out your clinic. I killed everything.”

The woman, obviously Vera herself, perks up, eyes going wide. “Oh… Oh!” She almost beams. “That is… That is good news, good news! They took over during the night a few weeks ago and were sleeping there throughout the days. Pestilent lot.”

“Quite,” Changkyun says and keeps that smile on his face. “There were werewolves, an Abhorration… And I am curious,” Changkyun says, like that’s all he is. “”What work did you do at the clinic? I’ve always wondered how you do--” Changkyun tries not to twitch. “--such an important job.”

Vera blinks and then leans forward to look at both sides of the street before stepping aside. “Would you like to come in?” she asks. “I have tea.”

Changkyun smiles again, bows his head. “I would love that, thank you,” he says, stepping inside. 

It doesn’t _ look _like the home of a psychotic murderer, but hey, looks can be deceiving. 

Vera leads Changkyun into a small living room with two armchairs and a fireplace. She smiles when he sits down and then wanders to the kitchen just one door away. It’s a small house and it seems only the ground floor seems to be hers.

“Do you like honey in your tea?” she asks.

Might get rid of this terrible taste in his mouth. “Yes, thank you…”

_ “What are you trying to do?” _ Kihyun’s voice whispers in the air.

_ I want to know what she did to those people. _

_ “Kept them in tanks like fish?” _

Changkyun feels his jaw tense. _ I want to know why. _

Vera walks back into the living room and hands Changkyun a cup made of copper. It’s warm between his hands and it steams a little, a sweet scent evaporating into the air. Vera sits on the opposite armchair to Changkyun, her own copper cup between her hands. She smiles and takes a sip, before putting the cup aside on the small table and pushing her glasses up her nose.

“What do you know of blood magic?” she asks.

That it sends a shiver down his spine? “That it’s… generally frowned upon. Forbidden, actually… But powerful.”

“Yes,” Vera nods, “Blood magic, first and foremost, is the practice of using blood as a potent fuel for magic. Blood is life itself. You’re a Hunter, you’re aware of the magic within you. But that is but a figment of its true potential. Blood magic sacrifices life, part of it, in a way, and life means _ soul. _ By using the power of the soul as a magic source, almost anything can be obtained--theoretically of course.” Vera giggles, brings a hand up to her mouth and then drops it when she goes serious. “For decades, there have been rumors of the Church dwelling in blood magic. It’s not clear what they were trying to obtain? And I’ve never come across scriptures or books mentioning any of it--explains the secrecy, right? But,” Vera leans closer, eyes big on Changkyun. “I like to ask questions… and people like to talk. I am curious. And I wonder… how far does blood magic truly go? Is it proportional to the amount of soul sacrificed? It is different depending on the soul being sacrificed? Can we, say… cheat death by using blood magic?”

Changkyun frowns, watches the woman curiously, even as his stomach turns. Interesting, how she calls them ‘souls’, and not ‘people’. “Well? Did you?”

“Not entirely,” Vera says. “I didn’t go very far. It’s tricky. It doesn’t always work. I wonder if a bigger amount of blood is needed… or if the souls I was using were simply not good enough. Maybe because they had been already plagued… Hm…”

Changkyun looks away, bites at his lips. “Is that why you kept them alive?”

“Hm?” Vera asks, blinks.

“I found the tanks,” Changkyun says, looking at her eyes level. “The ‘souls’ you were keeping there.”

“Oh,” Vera says and she doesn’t seem surprised. “They were still in there? That’s good… Were they contained?”

Changkyun tongues at the inside of his cheek. “You--” Changkyun has to suck in a breath, look away. “What did you do to them?”

“Hm? Nothing much?” Vera blinks, shrugs. “People come to my clinic sometimes. I keep an eye on those that exhibit the early stages of the plague. When it evolves into its later stages, they become self sustainable, well, more than we are, at least. They stop eating if there's no food, drinking, if there's no water, and wander around bumping against walls. I study them. And use their blood for my trials.”

“And do you think,” Changkyun asks. “They feel pain?”

Vera frowns. “Is it relevant? They’re not people anymore.”

Changkyun blinks slowly. “What are they, then?”

“Souls,” Vera says simply. “Not quite monsters yet, but no longer human enough.” She shrugs. “Anyway, all I know is that it’s a science as old as time. The Church picked it up somewhere, I’m certain. But then they stopped? Either because it didn’t work or because something spooked them.”

Changkyun frowns. “Decades ago,” he says. “Do you…” Changkyun swallows, shifts a little on the chair. “Know if they experimented with blood magic in the Black Cathedral?”

Vera raises an eyebrow and leans back on her armchair. “Black Cathedral… Oh. Where the massacre took place? Hm. I’m not sure. But one of my informants told me there used to be an old laboratory somewhere that the Church now keeps tabs on even though it is no longer in use. Black Cathedral… They do bless the place every now and then. I wonder...” Vera looks down to her lap, her dress a washed up beige. “I would give so much to have a look around such a place.”

_ They did this to you, didn’t they? _

No answer.

“Oh,” Vera chirps, leans forward and gets up. “Your tea has gone cold! Let me go fetch some warm water.”

She reaches for the cup, and Changkyun quickly reaches up, grabs at her wrist, narrowed eyes on her face. “You tortured people. Experimented on them. Their pain isn’t even _ relevant _ to you. That doesn’t _ bother _you?”

Vera blinks fast, eyes going between Changkyun’s hand on her wrist and his face. “I don’t understand… What are you saying?”

Changkyun feels himself glare, feels that anger in his chest make its home there. 

_ This is your choice. What happens to her. _

_ “I told you,” _ Kihyun whispers and it’s faint, _ “Death should never be personal. Not coming from me.” _

_ If you don’t care about this, _ Changkyun thinks, standing up and letting go of the woman’s wrist. _ Then you’re just as bad as them. She didn’t let death be personal either. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now playing: Soothing Hymn by SIE Sound Team.
> 
> [Youtube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tlmH-unczPY) / [Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/3U5RLXzFd6SJIFatWdQfH4?si=d99o2fLUSDKHzCPR9tdfBQ)


	5. Abyssus Abyssum Invocat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A touch that feels like care.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Abyssus Abyssum Invocat - One misstep leads to another

_ “The process of delving into the black abyss is to me the keenest form of fascination.” _

_ _ H. P. Lovecraft _ _

_ _ _ _

Kihyun doesn’t say a word on the way back to the Workshop. Not even when, entirely on purpose, Changkyun tosses the sword onto the bed. And he has to stop, take a breath, when he janks at his coat to get it off, to avoid accidentally breaking something.

And he takes a few breaths more when he realises he needs them. When he can’t decide between being angry, and just… _ so fucking sad _.

“Do you feel nothing at all?” Changkyun asks the room, once he’s stripped to his shirt and feels like he can breathe again without thinking of each intake and exhale. 

There’s no answer at first. But when Changkyun looks to the bed, the sword is gone.

“You’ll have to elaborate,” Kihyun says from where he’s leaning against the wall, arms crossed over his chest, eyes on the window, on the grey day outside. The sun is only a ball of white behind the clouds.

Changkyun puts his hands on his hips, fixes his eyes on Kihyun. “Do you not… care? And I realise, alright, that you truly think yourself nothing but a weapon, but I just--I don’t believe it. And as far as I can _ only assume _, you--” Changkyun swallows, chest feeling hollow. “You were human, once.”

Kihyun’s eyes shift to Changkyun but then drop down to look at the wooden floor. “A long time ago… Part of me was human.”

Changkyun shakes his head. “Kihyun, in the last few days I have seen more monsters than I would ever care to. They’re… mindless, foul, they’re… vile and twisted. You are none of that. You’re not a monster. And you’re more than just… this.” Changkyun sighs, scratches into his hair with a hand. “I don’t know…”

“I never said I was a monster,” Kihyun mutters, a frown between his eyebrows. “I only said I was Death. If that’s what monsters look like to you, then that’s your problem. Not mine. Yoo Kihyun died almost a whole century ago. What I am now is… a shadow of what he was mixed with what I ended up becoming. And you can’t change that, you can't change what I am to fit what you'd like me to be.”

“I’m not trying to change you,” Changkyun says, feels his eyes soften. “I’m just trying to understand.”

Kihyun looks up. “Understand what?” 

“You.”

“Why…?”

“You’re part of me now. And sometimes, I actually kind of like you.”

Kihyun frowns harsher and his eyes shift to the side. When he blinks, he just looks confused. It’s a bit sad, really, how uncomfortable he looks all of a sudden. It’s not the kind of sadness that brings a cascade of tears Changkyun's face, but the kind that seeps into his bones.

“There was… a man,” Kihyun mumbles, the arms over his chest tightening a little around himself, making him look even more uncomfortable and confused. “He was a Hunter. Became one when the Scourge was at its peak and there wasn’t enough firepower to counter it. He was good. Really good. Devout. He met a woman, then, a Huntress. And they had two children.”

Changkyun feels himself walk closer, slowly, as if not to scare Kihyun. “And… you were one of them? Kihyun was.”

“He was,” he says. “He was the youngest. He didn’t know why his parents had to go out every night, why they were so absent during the day. But his brother kept him company, made up games so they could play together.” Kihyun’s eyes shift to the window and he blinks, the frown softening a little before it presses again. “Kihyun got sick. And unfortunately for him, it wasn’t just a cold. He contracted the plague, for something as simple as getting a scratch while playing hide and seek. And so… his devout, always absent parents… Gave him to the Church. He was… fourteen at the time, I think.”

Changkyun’s heart sinks. He's close enough now to watch the light on Kihyun’s face, again. Such a small, silly thing. 

“Some of it is blurred,” Kihyun mumbles, his glare growing stronger as he looks out the window. “Some of it has been forgotten. It’s true that people tend to remember the pain and the menace of death more vividly than pleasure, more vividly than affection. And I think Kihyun forgot what any of it truly meant. The Church wanted something and they were going to get it. He was one of the selected few, the sacrifices for a ritual that took years to prepare. 

All of them had to go through it every day, pay with their blood, their bodies, whatever they had to give. It becomes a blur as time passes. I remember feelings and emotions more than I remember what was happening. But it’s easy to guess.” Kihyun glances over and blinks slowly. “I don’t think he saw his parents again. I remember… looking at him, at Kihyun. I remember when he… made me up like some sort of vendetta. Because he cried for help and no one came. Because why would anyone come? His own parents gave him away. So, for a while… I was just… what he wished he could be. Or rather… what he wanted someone else to be for him. Because when the crying stopped, he wanted to die. And when he stopped begging for that, too, he just… stopped.”

Changkyun swallows, looks away when he realises there are tears on his face. “I’m… I’m so sorry…”

Kihyun looks down. “Kihyun died, like everyone else, inside that lab. He went through ten years of it, the last six barely alive, if that can be considered living. And in the end, I don’t think he even noticed himself go. I remember…” Kihyun takes a breath. “Closing my eyes when he did. And then I wasn’t just a product of his imagination… I was… alive. But also not. And I felt his body disintegrate into a mist, felt the cold metal of every weapon they had been trying to fuse him with scattered across the clinic and… I felt all of them, so… alive. Kihyun’s dying wish was simply to die. And maybe that’s why that’s all I crave, too. Death. Because by inflicting death, I can only hope to experience it myself over, and over, and over again. And it will never stop. Because that is my curse. Which is why… sitting atop that table as nothing else but a dagger, killing them simply because I was so desperate to feel anything at all… I realized that it wasn’t hatred, it was just… a wish.” Kihyun looks up. “The magic didn’t work because they succeeded. The magic worked because it took upon Kihyun’s wish and made it real.”

Changkyun sniffs, smiles a little despite the wetness on his face. _ How stupidly human _. 

“You’re a wish,” Changkyun says, voice soft. “A dying wish. For some reason, that makes a lot of sense…”

“Then,” Kihyun says as he uncrosses his arms, “I suppose you understand why that will never change. Why what am I will never change.”

“Again, Ki,” Changkyun says, looking over. “I never asked you to. But...” Changkyun breathes in. “I’m not going to change, either.” 

“And why would we want you to?” Kihyun asks, raises an eyebrow. “You want me to care the way you do. But caring is what _ you _ do.”

Changkyun smiles, wipes at his cheek with the end of his sleeve. “_ Yep _. And you’re just going to have to deal with it.”

“Don’t I do that already?” Kihyun scoffs, and Changkyun narrows his eyes a little playfully. And he doesn’t really think about it, just moves close enough to prop his chin on Kihyun’s shoulder.

He feels Kihyun flinch, feels him tense up a little. Maybe because this is the first time that Changkyun is the one touching him and not the other way around. Maybe because this feels rather intimate and personal. And Changkyun blushes a little when he remembers all those touches, before he even knew what Kihyun was. 

“Dealing?” Changkyun asks, lifting a hand to Kihyun’s back. “I think that maybe… Death isn’t personal. But life should be.”

“Out of the two of us… you’re the one who’s actually alive. So, if you want to make it personal, do it. Others might judge, I won’t. But you can’t ask me to choose.”

“Who said you had to?”

“You sort of implied it.”

“You sort of inferred it.”

“Ah. Another conjecture of mine. Apologies.”

Changkyun rolls his eyes and properly wraps his arms around Kihyun’s waist in a hug. “Like I said, you’re part of me now, right? You’ve made it clear my soul belongs to you and whatnot…”

“Until you die,” Kihyun mumbles. Changkyun can feel his breath on his neck. “I’ll be free until the day you die. And if you have to die, it will by my hand. No one else’s.”

“What happens to you when I die..?”

“I’ll… wait. Again. Until someone frees me. I was made a weapon. Weapons need someone behind them. I need another soul behind mine to be able to move freely.”

Changkyun sways a little with Kihyun between his arms. He used to do this with Jooheon. He misses it. Funnily enough, Kihyun feels… smaller. 

“So I have a looooot--” Changkyun sways some more, laughing a little when he lifts Kihyun off the floor before just putting him down again. “Of time to annoy you.”

“Why are you clinging to me like goo?” Kihyun asks. Maybe it was supposed to sound harsh, but it just sounds like him; amused without really caring.

And Changkyun laughs, because that’s one of his favourite Kihyuns. “What, you don’t remember all those times you touched me?” Changkyun asks, honestly curious.

“I remember.”

“Do you remember the reason?”

“It was amusing to watch you freak out,” Kihyun scoffs. “But… you were also alive and I could finally touch something alive...”

“So… Why did you stop?”

Kihyun turns his face a little as if to look at Changkyun, but their cheeks touch and Kihyun just stays like that, like the touch froze him. “I… I’m not certain. I suppose I wanted you to do something for me, kill someone so I could be free. Now I’m free. So…”

Changkyun breathes, and he feels their cheeks brush, before he leans back to look at Kihyun. “How does it feel?”

Kihyun frowns. “How does what feel?”

Changkyun smiles, and Kihyun was right, Changkyun is entirely too curious for his own good. So that’s the reason he gives himself when he leans in for just a second, to press his lips to Kihyun’s and say, “That.”

Kihyun blinks once, twice, the frown between his eyebrows softening the more he looks at Changkyun. “Warm,” Kihyun says. “And alive.” 

Changkyun’s chest tightens a little and he feels himself smile. “Do you like it? Feeling warm and alive...”

“It’s different,” Kihyun says, his red eyes shifting between Changkyun’s brown ones. “It’s new. I’m not certain I like it, but I definitely don’t dislike it.”

Changkyun tilts his head, spots those little specs of brown in Kihyun’s eyes. “Do you want me to do it again?”

“Do you want to do it again?”

Changkyun smirks. “I don’t _ not _want to do it again...”

Kihyun frowns. “I’m confused…”

Changkyun laughs, reaches up to cup at Kihyun’s cheeks. _ Soft _. Why is he so soft? The beauty makes sense--Death is seductive after all, but… The softness? Changkyun is confused, too. So, he leans in again, catching Kihyun’s lips and pressing a little closer with his body. 

It’s strange because Kihyun doesn’t kiss back but he also doesn’t _ not _ kiss back. And when Changkyun leans away just enough to look at him, he catches crimson eyes staring into his own.

“How does it make _ you _ feel?” Kihyun breathes against Changkyun’s lips.

Changkyun looks at Kihyun’s lips, licks his own. “Honestly..? A little frustrated…”

“Why?”

“Because I want you to kiss me back, you idiot.”

Kihyun blinks. “I don’t know how…”

Changkyun heart actually tugs a little, and he looks at Kihyun, considers it and very loudly decides, _ why not _. 

Until Changkyun dies, right? And Changkyun is the only person Kihyun can touch like this, not as some weapon, not with the intention to kill. Just like _ this _. 

So, Changkyun presses forward.

“Just follow my lead,” he breathes against Kihyun’s lips, kisses lightly, can feel the pout of Kihyun’s lips against his. The soft sound of Changkyun pulling away just to kiss again is more insistent with every press forward. He moves slow even though he knows Kihyun can keep up, moving his lips against Kihyun’s and letting his hands move down to hold at his hips. 

Just as he runs his tongue along the seam of Kihyun’s lips, he pulls away. And Kihyun just stares at him, face stony despite the light tint of pink to his cheeks. 

“Tomorrow,” Kihyun mumbles. “What are we doing later at night?”

Changkyun’s brain fizzles just a little, but that’s not the point. “Go pick another contract, I guess…”

“You like helping people…”

Changkyun nods, thumbing idly at Kihyun’s hip. “Haven’t helped anyone yet, though…”

“You did,” Kihyun says, brings his hands up to Changkyun’s sides and pushes him back at the same time he leans in to kiss him. And Changkyun sighs against Kihyun’s lips, grips at Kihyun’s hips and stumbles back until he’s the one being pressed against a wall.

Kihyun’s mouth isn’t slow on his, but it isn’t demanding either. It just feels like it’s giving and giving without asking for much in return. And when Kihyun’s tongue pushes in against Changkyun’s, time seems to freeze.

_ “Someday,” _ a voice said once in a dungeon cell far too small, _ “You’ll be free. And you’ll--” _ a sniffle, _ “You’ll live for me...” _

_ “Why?” _ Kihyun asked as he crouched down, crimson eyes looking into misty brown ones that were shaped just like his. _ “You can do that yourself.” _

And a boy, small, face a little round with youth, dark brown hair a little wavy and falling over his eyes giggled and hid his face in his arms. _ “I won’t. I will never… see the sun again. Or the sky… or my brother. I’ll--I’ll never feel it, tha--that touch that feels like care. I’ll never make friends. I’ll never fall in love. I’ll never read any more books or play with the dogs outside. I’m just--” _ the boy, _ Kihyun, _ looked up, tears streaming down his face. _ “I’m just dying in here.” _

_ “Then,” _ Kihyun said back as he sat down, _ “I’ll make sure you’re not alone.” _

_ “And… when I’m gone?” _ Kihyun asked, sniffled. _ “Won’t you be alone, too, then?” _

Kihyun shrugged. _ “It doesn’t matter. You matter.” _

_ “Will you be with me when they take me again?” _

Kihyun smiled. An actual, genuine smile. _ “Always.” _

Changkyun gasps, feels his heart jump, eyes leaking again when he leans back to look at Kihyun. At _ this _Kihyun. At the Kihyun that survived. 

_ A touch that feels like care _ . _ The sun. Books and dogs and laughing. _

“Oh, Ki,” Changkyun whispers, a hand on the side of his face. “You matter, too.”

Kihyun frowns. “You’re… crying?”

Changkyun laughs softly, nods when he sniffs, thumb touching softly over Kihyun’s cheek. “Guess I am.” He looks over Kihyun’s face, smiles a little. He looks so much, still, like that boy in the small cell, if not sharper at the edges. And Changkyun moves his hand up behind Kihyun’s neck to pull him in again, because he doesn’t know what else to do other than just make this man, this soul, whatever he is, feel warm, if just a little, and feel alive in the process, too.

This time, though, Kihyun does kiss back.

* * *

They kiss, and Kihyun learns. It’s dizzying how well he learns, lips moving and tongue tasting at Changkyun in a way that knocks him completely off guard, makes Changkyun push back a little just to see how much Kihyun will push in return.

They kiss until Changkyun pulls away--because of course Kihyun doesn’t get tired--and takes advantage of the situation to pull Kihyun close on the bed, Changkyun laying down on his stomach, feet up, and fingers trailing over Kihyun’s chest, over the bit of skin the V cut exposes.

“Can I ask you things?” Changkyun asks. “Just random things… I wanna try and figure out how you think.”

Kihyun frowns at the ceiling. He seems a little stiff but maybe that has something to do with being pulled into bed for soft touches when it’s something he’s not used to. “What in the world don’t you want to figure out?” he asks.

“I’ll let you know when I find something,” Changkyun grins, fingertips ‘walking’ over Kihyun’s shirt, before he just rests his hand over the slight swell of his chest. “Does it bother you?”

“What, the questions?”

“Yeah. That I wanna--” Changkyun pokes at Kihyun’s forehead. “Figure you out.”

Kihyun glances over and then looks back to the ceiling. “Being understood is not exactly a necessity of mine. But if it makes you happy then go ahead.”

Changkun raises an eyebrow. “That matters, then? My happiness.”

“If I’m sticking with you, then I suppose ‘happy’ is a good expedient.”

Changkyun hums, fingers tapping as if in thought, before he tilts his head, touching softly at Kihyun’s arm. “All you care about,” Changkyun says, fingers reaching his wrist. “Is killing.”

Kihyun sighs. “I _ need _ to. I told you. It’s like what breathing feels like to you.”

“Don’t sigh,” Changkyun laughs. “I’m breaking it all down into teeny tiny, processable blocks for myself. And, well, I don’t care about breathing so I suppose you wouldn’t _ care _about killing…”

“I don't feel concern or interest, an attachment of importance. I don't feel like that about anything. I kill because… it’s what I am. And it feels good because, when I don’t, it’s like I’m holding my breath.” Kihyun turns his face to look at Changkyun. “Don’t you feel good when you take a deep breath after holding it in for too long? That’s why I kill. And I don’t hold any moral judgements of good and evil because those are merely human concepts and not cosmic truths of any sort.”

Changkyun takes Kihyun’s hand, playing idly with his fingers. “I don’t know if I could handle that. Simply living for my next breath.”

“I’ve been holding mine for nearly a hundred years. Besides…” Kihyun’s eyes flick all over Changkyun’s face and then away when Kihyun turns to look at the ceiling again. “You help me keep my mind off of it.”

Changkyun tilts his head. _ What a pointy nose _. “With my annoying questions or…?”

“I’m not sure. At first it was out of necessity. But… you’re an interesting person. So when necessity passed… I guess I was curious? _ Am _ curious to see how your life plays out.” Kihyun frowns. “Although… curiosity means interest so… maybe I’m interested… Hm.”

“I’m flattered,” Changkyun smiles, scooches a little closer to poke Kihyun’s cheek with his nose. It’s fun for some reason. “But I guess you should be. How my life plays out is now entirely up to you. My life is your biggest investment.”

“Me?” Kihyun raises an eyebrow and turns his face to look at Changkyun, their noses brushing. “What do you mean…?”

Changkyun scoffs, pecks the tip of Kihyun’s nose and leans a little away. “Not _ entirely _ sure, really… But I hope my life is interesting, I guess? Since it’s just that and well, _ breathing _, that you have.” Changkyun frowns. “Not… In a bad way, just…” He looks up, right into Kihyun’s eyes, doesn’t close his own when he presses in for a short soft kiss. “I’m the only person who can do that. I guess that’s what I mean…”

It’s strange how Kihyun’s eyes seem to soften for a moment. It almost looks like he’s going to smile. But then he glances away. 

“I suppose I can’t say the same,” he mumbles. 

“Does that bother you?”

“No,” Kihyun says. 

Changkyun wiggles his eyebrows. “Would be hot if it did.”

Kihyun makes a face. “Hot… It would be ‘hot’ if I was bothered by potential sexual partners of yours? You’re strange.”

Changkyun laughs, forehead falling to Kihyun’s chest. “It’s a joke, Ki.”

“Fine. Would it bother _ you?” _

“Don’t think so?” Changkyun looks up, tilts his head. “It does occur to me that anyone walking in on us would be very concerned about my mental health…”

A deep yet bubbly laugh makes Kihyun chuckle and he smiles. “Now, _ that _ would be interesting.”

Changkyun smiles wide. “You have a nice smile… You really do.”

Kihyun glances over and then looks away. “Thank you…”

“You don’t do it often, I get oddly proud when I manage to get one out of you,” Changkyun scoffs.

“Never had much to laugh at… Or anyone to laugh with,” Kihyun mumbles. “Kihyun wasn’t the funniest person, but I suppose he’s excused.”

Changyun pouts. “Well… It’s a good thing you’ve got me now!” Changkyun grins wide. “I’m _ hilarious _.”

Kihyun raises an eyebrow and peeks at Changkyun. “Oh… I have a joke.”

Changkyun gapes, shifts so he’s practically using Kihyun as a bed, face to chest. _ Shit _, he really likes touch, doesn’t he? “You do?”

“You’re _ to die _ for,” Kihyun says _ very _ seriously, both arms seemingly coming up and wrapping around Changkyun’s waist--Changkyun only notices when he feels them, tentatively, like Kihyun is following instinct while being aware that he is. And despite knowing that, Changkyun still feels a small tug at his chest. _ Dammit _. 

It takes a second before Kihyun’s ‘joke’ sets in and Changkyun just--

“Oh my god,” Changkyun laughs, forehead falling to Kihyun’s chest as he just shakes with laughter. “That’s so bad!”

And again, this time softly, Kihyun laughs again. And it makes Changkyun smile, because he deserves to laugh, even if he doesn’t know it.

* * *

The exhale of the setting sun mets beneath the darkest clouds, and White Cathedral’s bells bathe the city in a cascade of sounds. This time, Changkyun waits atop a viewpoint that overlooks half of Old Aureum, eyes on the setting red sun, sword sheathed around his waist. And just as the last bit of light sinks under the edge, a griffon-like screech echoes, pushing back against the sound of the bells.

Tonight’s contract? To retrieve an old box from an old home and bring it to the owner’s daughter. But that means crossing alleys crawling with monsters. Either way, so be it.

Changkyun goes down the ladder by the side of the viewpoint, stopping only when a pack of rabid dogs rushes by beneath him. They dash towards an alley, fast enough to be out of ear shot when Changkyun grabs at both sides of the metal ladder and lets gravity pull him down.

Again, like the devil’s warning, a shirek echoes through the streets, the wind willing it along the alleyways and spiraling it up towards Central Aureum.

_ “It’s a Cleric Hag,” _ Kihyun whispers.

_ Didn’t you want to kill one of those? _

_ “After you do what you’re supposed to do, maybe. A Cleric Hag might take all night.” _

Changkyun huffs a breath--_ that sounds like the setup for a good night’s sleep _\--and starts jogging down the street, eyes and ears open. 

The purple sky slowly dips into a midnight blue, the twilight but a faint presence. And just like that, every dark corner of the streets _ stares. _

It’s from the darkness that comes the sound of heavy limbs being dragged across the cobblestone floor. Whatever it is, it’s massive, and makes Changkyun stop right in his tracks. He doesn’t need to unsheathe his sword, Kihyun simply mists into his hand and turns into the trick weapon.

Yellow eyes blink at Changkyun. And with claws that emerge from the black alleyway, something, a humanoid creature with facial features of a wolf, body covered in black fur, drags itself closer, teeth peeking out in a growl.

_ “Werewolf,” _ Kihyun whispers, clicks the trick weapon as it grows in Changkyun’s hand. _ “Keep your distance, don’t let it bite or scratch you.” _

Changkyun swallows, watching the creature and taking a slow step backwards. _ Suppose you can’t heal lycanthropy... _

_ “There’s only two possible ways this can end, excluding the one that ends with your dismemberment. Either you turn into one of them, or I eat its soul. Actually, nevermind. We can do both.” _

_ Your jokes are getting funnier _ , Changkyun thinks and jumps back when the werewolf lunges, heart in his throat. _ Eat it eat it eat it eat it-- _

The dusty stone makes Changkyun’s boots slide back--which was intended--but Kihyun makes the weapon tip backwards just enough for the edge to press against one of the stones. It retracks and Changkyun almost falls on his ass. But then it stretches again and Changkyun finds himself almost flying into the embrace of a werewolf.

The trick weapon turns into something heavy, something that makes Changkyun fall and roll under the creature and, when he does, the weapon changes into a silver dagger that, in Changkyun’s hand, cuts through the beast’s underbelly.

It growls, dark blood spilling onto the ground. And when it turns, it glares with intent to kill despite how debilitated it seems.

_ “Shoot,” _ Kihyun whispers and the dagger turns into a silver firearm, intricate details painted in dark blue all over the handle. Changkyun is immediately relieved at those years of archery lessons he took, because his aim? His aim is really fucking good.

He aims at the werewolf's head (it takes less than a second) and pulls the trigger once, twice, shooting the beast once through the eye and then through the forehead. The beast simply crumbles to the ground, like a puppet with its strings cut, and all of its blood mists towards the firearm.

_ “Good aim.” _

“Happy to finally contribute,” Changkyun says, looking at the pistol in his hand. _ Damn, that’s beautiful _. Changkyun hasn’t seen many guns in his life, but even without experience, he knows that.

_ “Do you like it?” _

“I do,” Changkyun smiles, glancing at the werewolf before turning around to keep walking, shaking off the past encounter and jogs again. 

_ “I have more.” _

“I don’t doubt it,” Changkyun scoffs, “Show me for the next big baddy?”

_ “Will do. Careful around the next corner.” _

Changkyun stops enough to look around the corner, and slip quietly past the alleway. He didn’t see whatever it was, but he trusts Kihyun with this stuff.

_ I was thinking, _ Changkyun thinks, as he jogs. (So much jogging recently…) _ Maybe you should teach me a few things _. 

_ “Such as…?” _

_ Having good aim helped, right? So, knowing how to fight with a sword should help, too. _

_ “I suppose. Although knowing the basics about what you’re up against might help way more than simply just knowing how to fight. It’s pointless to know how to fight if you don’t know how to apply it.” _

_ Guess we’re going shopping for a bestiary, then. _

_ “Minhyuk should have something. And if that lacks, you have me.” _

Changkyun smiles, stops to catch his breath a little before it even becomes a problem, and nods. It looks like the area they’re supposed to be in, so just a little bit more to go.

_ “Do you know what a Rhan-Tegoth is?” _ Kihyun whispers, and the gun shifts and changes back into a sword.

_ Not a clue _.

_ “Well, you’re about to find out.” _

Changkyun turns a corner and, _ hell _… 

One, it’s massive. It could easily be four Changkyuns stacked on top of each other. Two, it looks amphibious and it has a globular thorax, three eyes and six limbs. Each of its limbs terminate in a claw which resembles that of a crab. The creature’s body is covered in what, at first glance, appears to be hair, but Changkyun quickly realizes it’s in fact a multitude of tiny tentacles.

_ “It’s actually quite weak,” _ Kihyun whispers, and the sword changes into a spear. _ “You’ve got aim. So, throw me.” _

Changkyun looks down at the spear, throws it up enough to readjust it in his hand, perfectly balanced, before stepping back, arm back, aiming at the eye which seems to just be made out of a bunch of smaller eyes, and throws as hard as he can.

The spear, flickers under the low light and begins to spin in on itself as it dives and then pierces through the dreadful monster. The sound it makes is off-putting, like someone just smashed a giant bug against the wall. But the creature seems frail, tearing all the way down like a burning piece of paper, and the spear makes its way towards the cobblestone floor, tip sinking into it enough to raise a few stones.

Changkyun walks over, raising an eyebrow at the spear. “Stuck?”

_ “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” _

“It’s the small things in life, Ki,” Changkyun scoffs, reaching over to hold at the spear, firmly, and lift it up, out of the stone. “An all-powerful weapon, bested by the architecture.”

_ “From my perspective, I just ruined the cobblestones.” _

“The only thing we can’t ruin is the sky.”

_ “Now, now. Don’t try me.” _

Changkyun laughs, spins the spear between his fingers as he starts walking. “Going to shoot the stars, hmm?”

_ “Maybe one of them will crash over Aureum and end it all. Imagine all the souls I could feed on for centu--Nah. I’d be done in a day. So, depressing.” _

“Now, now,” Changkyun says in the same tone Kihyun did. “Better to snack than to gorge.”

* * *

A gust of dry wind winds through the maze of old houses where the windows have long shattered in the weakness of their structures--some trampled on by monsters--and rotting boards, some broken, others hanging. Doors hang, too, on the few threads of their hinges, and groan with pain at every sway the wind pushes.

The night sky is filled with dark clouds. And in the distance, Changkyun can hear the thunder.

They find the wooden box under an old bloodied bed in a room with no roof. The place stinks like rotten eggs and milk that’s been sitting around for days. But apart from the blood, there are no bodies, nothing to share a hint of what might have transpired between these walls.

Another thunder rolls in, like drums in the distance, announcing the final battle. Changkyun makes his way back outside and starts heading back through where he came from, the bodies of a pack of rabid dogs lying dead on the ground--yes, he did that.

As they pass through an intersection, however, the sound of metal clashing against metal once, twice, and then again, makes its way all the way into Changkyun’s ears and he stops.

It sounds like a fight. But Changkyun can’t think of any monsters that use swords.

He runs towards the sound and immediately recognises Hyungwon, seemingly fighting for his life against what looks like… Another Hunter? The clothes, while ragged, a little torn, dirty, are unmistakably similar to Hyungwon’s. The cloth is dirty, but the gold still shines a little. And his eyes? He looks crazed. He looks _ feral _, like the dogs that come out to attack in the night.

Kihyun mists himself next to Changkyun, turned a little to him while keeping his eyes on the battle ahead. Hyungwon dodges a trick weapon saw cleaver swing and takes advantage to cut at the other Hunter’s stomach when the weapon gets stuck on a wall.

The crazed Hunter bleeds very little, and doesn’t even scream. He just pries the weapon away from the stones and turns to swing at Hyungwon again, who sidesteps--barely, _ that was close. _

“Why are they fighting?” Kihyun asks despite not sounding very eager about getting an answer.

“No idea,” Changkyun frowns, walks closer and calls out, “Need help, Chae?”

Hyungwon flinches, glances at Changkyun, and takes a hit to the arm, saw cleaver digging into his skin and cutting in, through and then out when the crazed Hunter tugs at it. Hyungwon barely makes a sound, but falls against the nearby wall, knocking down an old, locked coffin and a few old boxes

“Fuck,” Changkyun says, running forward before Kihyun even shifts into a weapon. 

The crazed Hunter turns to look at Changkyun and smiles at him, like a hunger fuelled by madness, like someone who just saw their next prey. The man’s skin seems to be falling apart, too.

Changkyun’s hand weights, and when he swings he sees the silver-like sword cut through the air and through the crazed Hunter’s clothes. But Changkyun quickly has to fall back to avoid a swing of the saw cleaver. He spares a glance at Hyungwon--face contorted in pain, and Changkyun’s heart weighs a little with guilt--before using Kihyun to hook into the cleaver, twist around to try and break the man’s wrist, or at least get the weapon out of his hand.

The crazed Hunter growls something more beastly than human and then throws himself at Changkyun, knocking him down and crawling on top of him in some sort of frenzy.

“Hu...Hunters,” the man breathes in a growl, “Hunters a...are killers--” he tries to reach for Changkyun’s neck, a foul stench filling the air with how close the man’s face is to him even though he keeps trying to push against the crushing weight. “Ki...killers… Ki--”

A gunshot echoes close by and Changkyun’s ears ring, heart loud in his chest, eyes wide. The man topples to the side, dark thick blood spilling from his head before it mists through the air and around Kihyun’s hand.

“Get in line,” Kihyun mumbles. He’s standing right next to Changkyun, eyes on the dead Hunter. The faint black handgun in Kihyun’s hand mists away and Kihyun glances down. “Are you alright?”

Changkyun swallows and nods, pushing himself up, “Yeah, I’m fine,” he mumbles, looking over to Hyungwon, ears still ringing when he walks closer. “Hey, are you--” he stops, eyes going a little wide. “You’re bleeding, shit...”

Hyungwon glares at Changkyun and then looks at his own arm before reaching up to tug at the scarf covering his mouth. “What are you doing here?” Hyungwon asks with a wince as he turns, back against the wall.

“Saving your ass, apparently,” Changkyun frowns.

“I had him, you didn’t have to get in the way.”

Changkyun rolls his eyes, but shakes his head and holds out a hand to help him up. “Come on, you should get that checked...”

Hyungwon glares at Changkyun again and then at his hand before his eyes move to something behind Changkyun. Or, in this case, _ someone. _

Changkyun blinks, following Hyungwon’s eye line as it directly leads to Kihyun. “You--” Changkyun’s head whips back. “You can see him?”

Hyungwon frowns, eyes stuck on Kihyun. “I hunt things like it. Of course I can see it…”

“There’s nothing like him.”

“The street is crawling with them,” Hyungwon mumbles, slowly pushing himself up on his own. His Hunter hat falls and he tilts his head back, holding his bloodied arm closer to himself. “It’s not human. That’s all there is to know.”

And again, it’s a silly instinct, but Changkyun feels himself lift an arm in front of Kihyun, taking a step closer to him. “He’s mine,” he mumbles, eyes on Hyungwon’s arm. “And that’s not what’s important right now. Why would a Hunter attack you? What was wrong with him, he looked… crazed.”

Hyungwon huffs and narrows his eyes at Kihyun one last time before letting his head fall forward a little, eyes cast down. “I don’t know.” He glances at the dead Hunter. “I was… trailing a beast. And it lead me to him. He caught me off guard, started attacking me right when I let my guard down.”

“Think he got infected with something?” Changkyun frowns, sheepishly letting his arm fall, and glances at Kihyun, who’s frowning at Hyungwon. Changkyun chooses to ignore that and turns to walk to the body of the Hunter.

“Possibly,” Hyungwon says, groans a little as he pushes himself away from the wall. “Either case, we should cremate him. I don’t want a crawling corpse following me home.”

Changkyun nods and shakes his hand, snaps his fingers and watches a little flame spark into the air. “I’ll do it. And then get you to a Healer--we don’t know if he didn’t infect you, somehow.”

“The Healers back at the Hunter’s School can take care of it,” Hyungwon mumbles as he walks closer, eyes on Changkyun’s hand. “You said you weren’t a Hunter. Did you partake in the Joining, though?”

“Nope,” Changkyun says, smiling a little smugly before opening his hand, sending flames around the body and scrunching his nose up at the smell. He looks to Hyungwon, shakes his hand to extinguish the small flame that clings to it, “It’s a long story.”

Hyungwon makes a face and then turns to look back at Kihyun. “Something to do with it?”

“Stop calling him ‘it’ and I might tell you.”

“It looks like Death,” Hyungwon mumbles, and Kihyun smiles with one side of his mouth, chin tipping down and eyes going a little dark. Hyungwon just frowns and turns to walk away, groaning when he bends to pick up his Hunter Hat.

Kihyun, however, just mists away and flows towards the saw cleaver on the floor, by the fire, consuming it before turning into a sword, sheathed by Changkyun’s waist.

_ “I really want to kill him,” _ he whispers, tone just high enough to sound almost giddy.

For some reason that just really makes Changkyun want to laugh, so he puts a hand over his mouth and bumps the back of his hand against the hilt of the sword.

_ Behave. _

_ “Don’t I always, Daisy flower? Don’t I always?” _

Daisy flower. Something that Changkyun isn’t sure he _ likes _being called, but he just rolls his eyes now and smiles.

* * *

Arrate is the first one at the door, but her eyes quickly go wide on Hyungwon’s blood stained arm before she rushes to the back of the Workshop, Changkyun still holding onto Hyungwon’s non-injured arm despite the constant struggling just to get him here.

Fucking idiot wanted to go back to the Hunter’s School. With the _ Church _. No thank you.

“Sit down and stop bitching,” Changkyun grumbles, letting go of him only to make sure the door is closed and locked.

Sweat beads at Hyungwon’s hairline when he sort of falls onto the nearby chair. His breaths are shallow and fast and he seems a little pale, but other than that he’s still good enough to say, “You’re talking to a man of the cloak, have some respect.”

Changkyun picks a chair, too, starts undoing the laces of his boots. “And you’re talking to the youngest Prince of Aureum, kiss my ass.”

“You’re the _ what?!” _ Minhyuk and Arrate say at the same time in the same tone of dismay and utter shock. Arrate almost drops the tray with gauze and a few other things. Meanwhile, Hyungwon just raises an eyebrow at Changkyun.

Changkyun scoffs, gets one boot off. “Yeah, I’m kind of surprised none of you recognised my name. Or the hair. Not exactly a natural colour.”

Arrate blinks and then turns to Minhyuk. “I told you!”

“Er--” Minhyuk pouts at her. “I guess you did?” He looks at Changkyun again. “Wait. Why… Why are you here then? Shouldn’t you be--”

“Because he’s wanted,” Hyungwon says, voice strained.

“A man of the cloak, of course you’d know that,” Changkyun mumbles down at his laces.

Hyungwon frowns, shifts a little on the chair, head tipping back even though he keeps his eyes on Changkyun’s face. “I wonder how much they’d pay me to bring you in.”

“I wouldn’t try, if I were you,” Changkyun smiles up at him, kicks off his other boot and just sits back, Kihyun misting into himself by his side.

“Take that off,” Minhyuk says to Hyungwon, still glancing towards Changkyun like he can’t really believe he’s there.

Arrate hurries over to place the tray with gauze over the nearby table and then blinks up at Changkyun, away, eyes shifting to Minhyuk instead. “Should I go get Hoseok? It’s almost morning, the bells should be ringing soon.”

“I think so, yeah. Go as soon as the bells have rung, but be careful,” Minhyuk says, smiles at Arrate. “It looks deep and he’s bleeding a lot, Hoseok could fix it much faster than we can, anyway.”Minhyuk looks to Hyungwon. “He has polstices and things and he’s helped a lot of Hunters before, you can trust him.”

Hyungwon looks down at his wound and then leans forward, rolling his shoulders as he undoes his coat. The leather falls down with a shift, Changkyun finally being able to see the deep red that the cotton shirt seems to be soaking in. The wound is indeed deep, and it just keeps leaking. But from the look of that weapon the crazed Hunter was swinging around, Changkyun isn’t surprised.

“Alright,” Hyungwon complies, his voice suddenly soft. When he looks to Minhyuk, he adds, “Thank you.”

Arrate smiles and then, with another quick, curious look at Changkyun, hurries to the back of the shop to grab a few things before she’s undoing the locks on the front door and hurrying out.

“Should I keep an eye on her?” Kihyun asks.

“Please,” Changkyun says, smiles over at Kihyun before working to get his own coat off, watching Kihyun mist away.

Hyungwon glances at the mist and keeps his eyes on it until it dissipates. He ignores Minhyuk fumbling with the scissors, readying himself to cut off Hyungwon’s sleeve, and looks at Changkyun instead.

“You trust it?” Hyungwon asks.

Changkyun narrows his eyes in a glare. “Him.” 

“It’s not human.”

Changkyun feels his jaw tense with the need to defend Kihyun, but just looks away. “Yes, I trust him. He’s proven to me that I can trust him.”

Minhyuk looks between the two of them, clearly confused, but asks nothing.

“Proven to you?” Hyungwon scoffs. “By doing what, exactly? Killing for you? It’s either a beast or a demon, and neither are trustworthy.”

“He’s never killed anything or anyone I didn’t tell him to.”

“Right,” Hyungwon chuckles, looks up at the ceiling. “I’d say he has you by the balls but I’ll assume it’s your soul.”

“In the same way the Church has yours.”

Hyungwon looks at Changkyun and frowns. “Don’t talk about what you don’t know.”

“Fucking _ ditto _,” Changkyun says, scoffs and looks to the barred window as the bells start ringing. “I’ll keep my assumptions at bay if you do the same.”

Hyungwon looks front and glares at the wall. “I’m still taking you in when this is over.”

Minhyuk blinks up at him and then at Changkyun. “Why are you--I mean--Why is Your Highness being chased?”

Hyungwon barks a laugh. _ “Oh. _ Spare him. He’s as ‘High’ as the rest of us.”

_ If you can hear me, I kinda wanna kill him, too _.

“What did they tell you?” Changkyun asks. “What is the description of my crimes, exactly?”

Hyungwon breathes in and then out. “I’ve heard that the Royal Palace is on alert for you. And whoever comes across the young Prince must report back to White Cathedral at the earliest convenience. Not much has been shared about your physical appearance. And your hair looks almost brown at night. But they did mention--” Hyungwon glances over, “That you escaped your confinement after being diagnosed with the plague and that you killed anyone who stood in your way in your own craziness, the other prisoners included. Thought it a bit far fetched, but it makes sense now. It wasn’t you. It was the demon in your head, using your body to do its bidding.”

“Scare tactics,” Changkyun mumbles.

“I suppose they haven’t found you yet because they don’t expect you to be a night creature. They must be looking for you during the day, if they think you're still alive. I’m certain the Palace would mourn you soon enough, after the Church considered you dead. Which you clearly aren’t.”

Changkyun frowns, heart heavy in his chest. His mother… His father, his brother, they’re going to mourn him. The only person who knows is Jooheon. Funny, that he trusts Jooheon more than his own family. Then again, Jooheon might as well be his brother at this point.

“Probably better that way,” Changkyun mumbles, eyes on the way the bit of sky he can see through the window changes color with the rising sun.

Minhyuk finishes cutting off Hyungwon’s sleeve and leans back. “Are you sick with the plague?” he asks Changkyun, obviously, without looking at him. Minhyuk looks hesitant, something close to fear dancing in his eyes. It makes sense, because he let Changkyun stay here and, if Changkyun had the plague, that would have meant signing a contract with certain death.

“No,” Changkyun says, voice soft, smiling at Minhyuk. “No, I don’t. Don’t worry.”

“So you say,” Hyungwon mumbles, shifting to glance at his wound. 

Changkyun’s eye twitches. Just the fact that Hyungwon is connected to the Church… It automatically just puts him on edge. “Trust me, they checked.”

Minhyuk looks at the bloodied sleeve in his hand and then turns around, walks to a shelf to grab a copper bowl and dump the sleeve in it. He places it atop the counter and uses a match the burn it.

Hyungwon doesn’t say anything else. He keeps his eyes on the ceiling, slowly getting paler and paler, the wound bleeding down his arm and dripping to the floor. He seems to be falling asleep, droplets of sweat clinging to the skin of his face. And when the sun rises a bit more in the sky, Kihyun reappears by Changkyun’s side.

Not a minute later, the front door opens and Arrate steps inside, followed by a man. The Healer, Changkyun assumes. The man is pale-skinned, with black hair, and looks shorter than Hyungwon, still taller than Changkyun, but certainly with the muscles of at least five Hyungwons. And when he spots Hyungwon, bleeding and pale, he immediately rushes over, eyes wide.

“Goodness, how long has he been bleeding like this?” the man, Hoseok, Changkyun remembers them saying, asks, clicking open the black bag he’d brought with him, digging inside of it for what looks like a small potion bottle.

“About thirty minutes,” Changkyun says.

Hoseok opens the vial, brings it up to Hyungwon’s lips. “Drink this, it’ll help, I promise,” he says, voice soft and kind, his other hand up to feel at his forehead.

“If it doesn’t,” Kihyun mutters, “I guess I’ll just kill him before he bleeds out.”

Hyungwon groans a little as he clearly tries to open his eyes and lets Hoseok tip the contents of the vial into his mouth, a single drop running down the side of his face that Hoseok wipes away with a thumb before he keeps rummaging in the bag, quickly finding what looks like a tourniquet, that he fastens just above the wound.

“Can you bring me some water?” Hoseok asks, looking over to Minhyuk, who nods and quickly starts looking around. “I need to clean the wound. Thank you.”

Arrate walks closer and crouches by Changkyun’s chair, eyes on Hyungwon. “Will he be alright?”

“He should be,” Hoseok says, smiling before he looks at Hyungwon. “Do you have Grey on you?”

Hyungwon frowns and then slowly opens his eyes to look at Hoseok. “Yo--You… You know?”

Hoseok smiles again, looks over when Minhyuk rushes in with a bowl of water, taking it with a nod before looking back to Hyungwon as he wets the towel and starts cleaning the wound. “I work with Hunters, in a way. Not officially, but… enough to know, yes. So, do you?”

Changkyun just frowns, sits there and hopes he’s invisible enough for them to just keep talking. He doesn’t know what Grey is, but he wants to.

“No,” Hyungwon huffs, manages to straighten up a little on the chair. “No, I don’t…”

Hoseok frowns, “Well, I can still help, so don’t worry, okay?” Hoseok assures, the water in the bowl turning pink as he wets the towel again, a hand holding at Hyungwon’s forearm as he dabs at the wound.

Hyungwon hisses a little but doesn’t pull away, just lets his head hang back and blinks slowly at the ceiling. “You’re not with the Church, then…?”

Hoseok shakes his head. “No, sorry. I hope that doesn’t bother you too much.”

“No…” Hyungwon mumbles. “It doesn’t… Your hands are soft, compared to the Healers I know.”

Changkyun raises an amused eyebrow at himself, looking over to Kihyun, just standing there. He grins a little, then, pokes at Kihyun’s arm and pats at his lap. He’s curious.

“Oh,” Hoseok says, “Oh, uhm, thank you?” he laughs softly, and Changkyun is no longer looking at what he’s doing, just keeps grinning at Kihyun. “Careful, I think you might babble. People babble when they lose a lot of blood…”

“Babble,” Hyungwon mumbles. “What a colourful word.”

Meanwhile, Kihyun is busy frowning at Changkyun, clearly in confusion. But then he mists and Changkyun feels a handle form in his hand, a ball of spikes falling on the floor with a gonk. Hoseok looks around, because of course he does, because Changkyun just starts _ laughing _.

Arrate blinks up at him and then down at the ball of spikes. She says nothing, clearly hesitant in her own confusion, like she’s wondering if she should feel confused at all.

Changkyun wheezes, which probably doesn’t help. Because of course. _ Of course _.

“What a horrible sound,” Hyungwon grumbles. “It’s like… Like a mad woman’s Wraith cackling in the distance.”

“Gonk,” Changkyun says and then laughs again, waves a hand. “Sorry, sorry, go on with the--I don’t know, comfort and babbling.”

_ I meant you can sit on my lap, you beautiful idiot _.

_ “Oh. I thought you wanted to flay.” _

Fucking _ wheeze _.

“Have you had stitches before?” Hoseok asks nearby, and Changkyun looks over again, a stupid smile on his face.

“No,” Hyungwon breathes. “Oh, thank God, the cackling stopped… Wait--” Hyungwon raises his head to look at Hoseok. “You… You asked if I’d given stitches or…”

“Received,” Hoseok says, still smiling. Is that just his default? Maybe.

“Oh, yes,” Hyungwon lets his head fall back. “Lift my shirt, you’ll see…”

Changkyun scoffs. “Smooth.”

“Well, it shouldn’t hurt so much,” Hoseok says, doesn’t lift the shirt but Changkyun can see his ears are red. “Because of the, er, potion I gave you, so just relax.”

“If I relax any more,” Hyungwon mumbles, eyes closing, “I’ll fall asleep.”

“Maybe later, for now... Just stay awake for a bit longer, okay?” Hoseok soothes--he’s so soothing, goodness--and Changkyun winces at the sight of the needle and some sort of thread. Silk? Changkyun has never looked into it.

_ “Are you really going to stay and watch?” _ Kihyun whispers around the air. _ “Mortals have strange hobbies.” _

_ Want to tempt me into doing something else? _

_ “Can I tempt you into killing someone else?” _

_ Maybe tomorrow. We’ll go get that Cleric Hag. My gift to you _.

_ “And I didn’t get you anything, Daisy flower.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now playing: Light of the Seven by Ramin Djawadi.
> 
> [Youtube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6LASz6HAL7E) /[Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/6iLzFJhs4ATwJn7P1utZIJ?si=G0VipocySaWp0-PbwqAdvw)


	6. Divide Et Impera

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In cold and desolate spaces, a touch of humanity goes a long way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Divide Et Impera - Divide And Conquer
> 
> [ cw for mention of attempted rape ]

_ “Divide et impera must be the motto of every nation that either hates or fears us.” _

_ _ Alexander Hamilton _ _

_ _ _ _

Hyungwon fell asleep, because of course he did. But Hoseok kept working, stitching him up and cleaning, bandaging. A total sweetheart, really. And Changkyun was so tired he collapsed in his own bed, falling asleep the moment his head hit the pillow.

And waking up? Not pleasant. He fell asleep in his clothes, and all this running around he’s been doing is making his muscles ache.

Nothing a quick bath can’t solve, though, but he just lets himself soak, breathing out a soft sigh at the hot water enveloping him. He looks down at himself and dismisses a stray thought because… Well. It’s not like he’s _ alone _.

“Hey,” Changkyun says out loud. “We should go snoop. That ‘Grey’ thing they were talking about? I wanna know what it is...”

“Hyungwon’s great-great-grandfather?” Kihyun teases, suddenly, from the wall right next to Changkyun, arms crossed over his chest.

Changkyun scoffs, looking up at Kihyun and flicking over a few drops of water. “Maaaaaybe. We’ll just have to go see, won’t we?”

Kihyun blinks, tilts his head just a little. “Maybe stumble upon a juicy soul along the way?”

“We’ll be going into a _ church _, Kihyun,” Changkyun grins. “Kill anybody you like.” 

Kihyun smiles, because of course he does, and glances away. “Then, I’m happy to tag along in this endeavor of yours.”

“Aw,” Changkyun pouts. “You wouldn’t have let me go alone, would you?”

“No, I wouldn’t have. But I wouldn’t be looking forward to it either.”

“Mmm. Here’s an interesting little thing I just thought of--” Changkyun grins, splashing a little at Kihyun again. “_ Killing _ is only two letters away from _ kissing _.”

Kihyun blinks, frowns, blinks some more and then nods. “True. Also, only two letters away from _ kidding. _ Once you kill the rest of the alphabet. _ ” _

“You can _ kill _ the _ alphabet _? Damn, you are powerful.”

Kihyun lifts one finger and looks at it. “The alphabet is an idea, a human concept. I kill every human, I kill the concept. Of course then that leaves me, but if only I am left, I can’t be part of the physical realm and therefore I’ve killed the alphabet.”

Changkyun blinks slowly, goes, “Huh,” and looks away, sinking further into the water before huffing a breath. “Give me motivation to get out of this bath, it’s soooo waaaarm.”

“I will kill everyone in this building if you don’t,” Kihyun deadpans, eyes shifting to Changkyun, another smile creeping over his lips, barely making it.

“Gonna start with Hyungwon?” Changkyun asks, looking over.

“Obviously.”

“Mmm… Might get out of the bath right after that, then,” Changkyun jokes, starts sitting up, ruffling at his wet hair.

“Or I could always start with you.”

Changkyun raises an eyebrow, before he slowly starts standing up, stepping out of the bath, right in front of Kihyun, who barely moves, eyes on Changkyun’s face.

“Oh?”

“Interestingly enough,” Kihyun says, “Because yours is the one soul I can’t take even though it’s mine, it’s inarguably the one I want the most.”

“Isn’t that some old Church story?” Changkyun asks, tilting his head and scoffing a laugh. “The forbidden fruit, or whatever.”

“I’m just as forbidden as you are,” Kihyun mumbles, eyes going down to Changkyun’s chest. “Either way, if I started with you, I wouldn’t be going very far now, would I?”

“A moment of pleasure,” Changkyun says, reaching up to move a lock of hair from Kihyun’s forehead. “Is that how you think it would feel? Taking my soul?”

Kihyun glances up. “It would be thrilling. But I would lose my connection to this world and fall back into nothingness until someone else picked me up. In the long term of the thing, this is better.”

Changkyun takes a small step forward, hand touching down Kihyun’s face before pinching at his chin, thumb at his bottom lip.

“Does killing make you feel more alive than I do?”

Kihyun’s eyebrows twitch a little into a soft frown. “Literally or… Figuratively speaking?”

“Tell me what the difference is and I’ll decide.”

“If you stop breathing, you die. If you stop eating, you starve and then die,” Kihyun says and Changkyun watches him speak, watches the way his lips form words, the way his eyebrows frown and relax and scrunch up again. “But between dying and being barely alive, you enter a state of madness, in which nothing but instinct takes over. It’s the limbo. If I don’t kill, I enter the limbo. I become unable to hold my breath. I become the true essence of my being. Which, I assume, you’d hate. And while that should be irrelevant, I’d probably kill you, too, and lose myself to another hundred years of nothing. So, literally speaking, no. You don’t make me feel more alive than killing does. Just like I can’t become the air you breathe.”

Changkyun smiles, undeterred, finally pressing his chest against Kihyun’s when he uncrosses his arms, allowing even more closeness. Changkyun’s hand moves to Kihyun’s neck, just touching soft, eyes on his crimson ones with streaks of brown. It’s like staring at freshly spilled blood, but not quite. Ironically, it’s like staring at life itself.

“And figuratively?”

“Figuratively,” Kihyun mumbles, eyebrows furrowing in that way that makes him look confused, “I don’t… I don’t know…”

“That’s okay,” Changkyun smiles, eyes flicking down to Kihyun’s lips. Changkyun leans in, breathes, “That’s okay,” and kisses him.

In cold and desolate spaces, a touch of humanity goes a long way. And to be human means nothing else nothing more than having the ability to overcome the impossible without forgetting that love is the one thing that transcends everything else.

Kihyun doesn’t know love, or anything that reaches close to what love means. Fondness, warmth, intimacy, compassion, care, altruism. He knows desire and curiosity. And that, for now, is enough. Because when his fingers ghost over Changkyun’s bare sides, a slight hesitancy in the touch, even though it’s nothing close to fondness, it sort of feels the same.

It still makes Changkyun shiver, though, as he keeps pushing closer to Kihyun after turning him around to lead him backwards, a hand in his hair, Changkyun licking into his mouth. And when the back of Kihyun’s legs hit the bed, Changkyun lets go, a hand to Kihyun’s chest to push him down. 

Kihyun’s nose scrunches when he falls on his elbows and bounces a little over the mattress. He blinks up and frowns like he’s conjuring a judgemental question in his mind, but he says nothing.

Changkyun grins, leaning over him to kiss his neck, a hand to his stomach, tugging at the black frilly shirt he’s probably been wearing for _ decades _ . “I’m just going to keep doing this,” Changkyun breathes against Kihyun’s neck, hand smoothing over his stomach. It’s so _ soft _, what the fuck. “Because I know you can very easily kick my ass if you don’t want me to.”

“Is that what you want, though?” Kihyun breathes out. “You want me to... ‘kick your ass’?”

“Only if I do something you don’t like,” Changkyun says, ducking down to place a kiss to Kihyun’s stomach, tongueing lightly at the soft skin there, hands soothing down his thighs.

“Because you’re doing things you like…?”

“I like touching you,” Changkyun mumbles. “Is that okay?”

The warmth of Kihyun’s skin feels a little cold for a split second, just before he mists away and Changkyun falls face down onto the bed. Before he can say anything about it, though, he feels Kihyun’s breath against his ear.

“Yes, that’s okay.”

Changkyun’s stomach tugs, and he swallows, pushing himself up against Kihyun. Changkyun looks over his shoulder into red eyes, and again, if red is supposed to be the colour of Death, it just feels soothing, warm.

Although, some people find peace in death.

Kihyun lowers his head just enough, his lips barely pressing against the back of Changkyun’s shoulder, breath tickling the skin there. And then, fingertips trace down Changkyun’s spine, slowly, touch so light it could be a dream.

Changkyun’s head swims. It’s difficult to place this attraction, but it’s definitely there, like it’s pumping through his veins with every loud heartbeat. He reaches back, a little blindly, feels to find Kihyun’s crotch and press a hand there, arching his back against him.

“Do you like touching me, too?” Changkyun teases, grinning as he looks over his shoulder, keeps his eyes on Kihyun’s. They’re mesmerising. 

“Rather than liking it,” Kihyun mumbles against Changkyun’s shoulder, fingertips moving over Changkyun’s lower back and trailing faintly between his asscheeks, lower to ghost over Changkyun’s balls. “It just feels like something.”

“Something good?” Changkyun breathes, shivering and gripping a little at the sheets. This didn’t go _ exactly _as planned… He’s not complaining, though.

“Something alive,” Kihyun says, leans back just enough to press a hand against Changkyun’s head to slowly push his upper body down, the other grabbing lightly at his dick. 

Lightly? That won’t do.

Changkyun puts his hands to his side to push himself up, turns himself around and grabs at Kihyun’s shirt to pull him in for a kiss, one hand in his hair, the other on his hip. They don’t kiss for long before Changkyun inverts their positions, groaning loudly when his head just plops to the bed again.

“Godammit,” Changkyun grumbles against the sheets, glaring a little when he looks over his shoulder, again, to see Kihyun there. Changkyun turns to lie on his back to glare at him, sees his own dick already lying heavy on his stomach. 

“Problem?” Kihyun asks, leaning down just enough to open his mouth around Changkyun’s collarbone. He doesn’t bite, but he sucks on the skin, hand grabbing Changkyun’s dick, this time in a rather possessive way and making Changkyun hiss at the rush of arousal, eyebrows furrowing.

“You,” he breathes, eyes on Kihyun. “Like being in control.”

Kihyun pauses, glances up into Changkyun’s eyes. “Don’t you?” he asks, and his voice sounds far too calm for the situation at hand, _ especially _ considering what’s in Kihyun’s hand.

The possessive squeeze eases off, though, and Kihyun moves his fingers further up to the head of Changkyun’s dick and starts moving his hand as he trails his lips down Changkyun’s stomach as well.

“I do, I--” Changkyun swallows, moves his hand to Kihyun’s wrist to have the clarity of mind to say, “I want to touch _ you _. I wanna make you feel good…”

Kihyun frowns in confusion but doesn’t stop moving his hand, thumb pressing at the slit. “You… already do?” he says, questioning.

Changkyun squirms, hand up to grip at Kihyun’s arm because… shit. Shit, that’s a lot. Changyun makes Kihyun feel good? But he knows Kihyun means it in a different way and-- “S--Stop, just--just let me,” Changkyun huffs when, despite his words, his head falls back with the feeling of Kihyun’s hand.

There’s precum leaking all over and Kihyun smears it over the tip before letting go, leaning back and standing up to frown (there might also be a slight pout) at Changkyun. “You do one thing, say another. And then do another thing and say something else,” Kihyun mumbles. “I don’t get you.”

Changkyun puts a hand on his face--_ because by the goddamn prophet _\--and sits up, “I just want to suck your dick, it’s not that complicated.”

Kihyun blinks really fast and then looks down at Changkyun’s crotch. “And what about that?”

_ It’s killing me, but no biggie _, Changkyun thinks before he realises Kihyun can hear him. “I was--” Changkyun huffs again, standing up. “Just trying to make you feel alive and then you--” Changkyun laughs, reaching to unbutton Kihyun’s pants. “Seduced me.”

Kihyun looks down at Changkyun’s hands. “And that’s a bad thing? You liked it before.”

“I like it now, too--” Changkyun blinks. “Oh. You meant. Before. Right, uhm--” Changkyun moves Kihyun to the bed, starts working down his pants. It says a lot about him that his mouth starts watering when he sees Kihyun’s thighs. “This is different.”

Kihyun rolls his eyes and grabs Changkyun’s hands to make him stop. “You know I’m not exactly… real, right? If you want me to get naked, just say so.”

That is… hot. Oh boy. 

Changkyun nods, takes a small step back and puts his hands up. “Okay. Do it.”

Kihyun makes to stand up again but simply grabs Changkyun by the wrist and pulls him. When they fall, Changkyun needs a second to register that he’s atop a very naked Kihyun, their chests pressed flush.

All it took was a blink.

Changkyun swallows again (for what reason, he has no idea, his mouth is already so dry) and lets his eyes wander down Kihyun’s naked shoulders and glance down at all that sudden skin. It’s a _ lot _. So, he starts at the top, kissing at Kihyun’s shoulder, down to his collarbone and--

“You have freckles,” Changkyun notes out loud, fingers coming up to trace at the little dots.

“I do?” Kihyun asks, raising himself just enough to look. “Oh. Hadn’t noticed.”

“Remember when,” Changkyun breathes, ducks down to kiss again. “I told you the sun touches you.”

Kihyun blinks, face a little unguarded for a moment. “Yes…?”

Changkyun smiles up at him. “Freckles are sun kisses, Ki.”

Kihyun frowns softly and opens his mouth to say something, but he seems to change his mind after taking a breath, simply letting it out. Changkyun takes that as a win, reaching down to softly palm at him as he kisses at his chest again, mouthing at his collarbone as he squeezes at his soft, tender dick. The breathy, almost silent hiss Kihyun makes is the biggest response Changkyun has ever gotten out of him.

Unfortunately, just as Kihyun begins to get hard in Changkyun’s hand, someone knocks at the door. And of course Kihyun mists away and Changkyun falls face down against the mattress, _ again. _

“Your Highness?” Minhyuk calls from the other side. “Hyungwon woke up.”

“Good for him,” Changkyun grumbles loud enough for Minhyuk to hear before lifting his head to properly say, “Be there in a bit...”

Kihyun is dressed again when Changkyun turns around, and neatly, too, like nothing came to pass, looking to the side as if in thought. For once, though, he isn’t frowning or glaring at the air, his expression is soft, if not a little open.

It makes Changkyun pout, fall back onto his back and just _ whine _. He hears Minhyuk walk away and whines again, “Why is this so hard!”

He hears a soft laugh he recognizes as Kihyun’s. But when he turns to look, there’s only a sheathed sword leaning against the wall by the door. And Changkyun just whines again and reaches down--he _ has _to at this point--and takes his own dick in hand, supposes this is just what life is now.

  


* * *

  


Hyungwon is awake _ and, _ apparently, willing to talk. Only Hoseok is present, busy changing Hyungwon’s gauzes one last time before he has to head out. Arrate and Minhyuk are at the front of the Workshop, and the door to the back room is closed.

“Sit down,” Hyungwon says, gesturing at the other armchair by the fireplace.

Changkyun narrows his eyes but sits down nonetheless. 

“I’m leaving,” Hyungwon says. “And you’re coming with me, _ willingly.” _

Changkyun rolls his eyes. “Nice conversation. Not happening.”

Hyungwon frowns. “Why not?”

“Because I don’t trust you not to take me to the church? I’m not in the mood for a bloodbath.” 

_ “I am,” _ Kihyun whispers around the air. 

_ I know _.

“And your problem with the Church is?” Hyungwon asks with an eyeroll of his own.

Changkyun tongues at his cheek. “I thought you knew who I was. And besides that, I’m not sure you _ want _to know what your precious Church does behind doors.”

Hoseok pauses and frowns but keeps his eye on the gauze he's rolling around Hyungwon’s arm and says nothing. Hyungwon, on the other hand…

“You’re carrying the plague with you, they said. I think they just meant a demon soul.”

Changkyun smiles, tilts his head as he leans forward, elbows on his knees. “Do you know what they did to ‘cure’ me?”

Hyungwon raises an eyebrow. “Giving you wisdom wasn’t it, clearly.”

Changkyun feels his eyebrow twitch.

_ “Can we kill him?” _

“No,” Changkyun says, in response to both of them. “They tore my clothes off, showered me in ice water, strapped me to a table, tortured me until I passed out, locked me in a dungeon, whipped me, and then tried to rape me.”

Hyungwon frowns, eyes glinting a little. “You’re lying…”

Changkyun feels his chest tighten, his stomach drop. “Why… The _ fuck _would I lie about that?”

“Because,” Hyungwon starts. And even though Hoseok isn’t done yet, Hyungwon gets up to glare down at Changkyun, giving a step forward. “That’s what yo--”

Changkyun only sees black mist floating forward, fast, before it pushes against Hyungwon’s chest, making him fall back onto the armchair. And even though its faint, Changkyun and Hyungwon can both see Kihyun pinning Hyungwon down, glaring close into his eyes.

“Don’t you dare,” Kihyun whispers, and then smiles. “Or rather… do dare. _ I’m a little bloodthirsty,” _ he grins, leaning forward as his voice seems to echo in a whisper he sybils into Hyungwon’s ear before misting away into nothing.

Hyungwon just blinks, eyes wide. And Hoseok is clearly pretending he didn’t see anything, quickly busying himself with Hyungwon’s gauze again.

Changkyun smiles, and sits back. “You can ask him, too. He was there.”

“You people always say that to discrete them,” Hyungwon mumbles. “And the louder you shout it, the bigger the lie. Empty pots make the most noise.”

Changkyun laughs. “Sorry, I thought you asked me. I didn’t tell you before then, did I? I haven’t been _ shouting _anything.”

Kihyun mists himself close to Hoseok to watch him and Hyungwon frowns as if uncomfortable with Kihyun’s presence. Hoseok says nothing, not even a peep. That is, until Kihyun says;

“He can see me.”

Changkyun frowns, looks to Kihyun, back to Hyungwon and then to Hoseok. “Why…?” Changkyun asks, realisation setting in. “Why can you see him?” _ It's not just Hyungwon…? _

“Because,” Hoseok answers, “I, too, was taken by the Church. And Hyungwon can because he has Grey Blood in him.”

“Hey,” Hyungwon frowns, looks to Hoseok. “That’s confidential.”

Changkyun frowns, too, mind racing. He can feel his expression soften. “Wait, you were taken? How--Are you okay?”

Hoseok smiles, finishes Hyungwon’s gauze with a bow tie and stands up to look at Changkyun. “I was saved by a Hunter. And I learned from her, until the madness took her.”

“The madness?” Kihyun asks, looks to Hyungwon’s gauzed up wound and frowns some more. “Hm…”

“The Hunter that attacked you, us,” Changkyun says, looks to Hyungwon for a moment before back to Hoseok. “He looked feral, insane. Is that what happens to Hunters?”

Hyungwon frowns even more, he’s starting to make a face. “I don’t thi--”

“Yes,” Hoseok says. “The more Grey they take, the worse it gets. They need Grey to fight the beasts. They need Grey because it strengthens them and allows them the use of magic. But… the setback is…”

“Why are you telling him this?” Hyungwon asks.

“Because,” Hoseok sighs, “I’m getting tired of seeing friends die to a fate they can’t go around, simply because they’re told that hunting is a Hunter’s job.”

“They’re certainly named after it,” Changkyun mumbles, running his hand through his hair. “What is it? The Grey?”

“Grey Blood?” Hoseok asks, frowns and shrugs, looking down. “It’s blood. I’m not certain, though, but I don’t think it’s human blood. And if it is, then… it has to be someone special. What kind of blood would allow someone else the use of magic?”

“Mine,” Kihyun says, eyes on his hand, “And… everything that isn’t from around here… in a way… Although I don’t think we’re _ that _powerful…”

Changkyun makes a face. “I already despised the Church, but this? They’re poisoning their own Hunters?”

Hyungwon shifts uncomfortably and looks at the embers in the fireplace. “It’s not that simple.

“What? This is a sacrifice you’re making?” Changkyun tsks, looks away. “Makes you wonder what the fuck else they’re hiding…”

“I say we find out,” Kihyun mumbles.

“I say you stay _ put,” _ Hyungwon hisses.

“Aw,” Changkyun pouts mockingly. “Scared of the truth, oh man of faith?”

“Shut up.”

Changkyun stands up, looks to Kihyun. “Shall we?”

Kihyun opens his mouth and Hyungwon stands up, too, to glare at Changkyun. “No, you shan’t,” Hyungwon says. “I can’t just let you leave this place knowing what you want to do. I’m _ supposed _ to take you in!”

“Oh, yeah?” Changkyun grins and Kihyun begins to mist, eyes on him as if just warning for a cue, “Try and stop me.”

“Tell them about the joining,” Hoseok says then as he hands Hyungwon his shirt, who just glares at him, clearly feeling betrayed in all senses of the word.

“Do,” Changkyun says, crossing his arms. “Then I might consider letting you come with me.”

Hyungwon glances at Changkyun and frowns before looking to Kihyun for a moment and sighing, hand coming up to rub at his forehead as he sits back down. “Anyone can partake,” Hyungwon says. “The Hunter’s School teaches us for three months and then… And then we vow, in a way…” He takes a breath and props his elbows on his knees, hands rubbing at his face. He pauses, though, and says, _ “Until the sky is but a vaporous flame, until the blackness rolls without aim, with knowledge and lustre we shall stake a claim. We drink from God to ascend. Born from blood, undone by blood. So the Hunt begins.” _

“Culty,” Changkyun mumbles, glancing to Hoseok before back. “And then?”

“And then we drink from the chalice, collapse, and wake up anew.”

“Grey can’t be ingested,” Hoseok mumbles. “Or rather, it can. But it has no effect. But they probably put the Hunters to sleep so they can begin a transfusion.”

Changkyun shivers, crossing his arms over himself. He looks to Hyungwon. “And you’re okay with that, are you?”

Hyungwon glares up, hands falling between his legs. “First, it’s just a rumor. Second, I told you it’s not that simple. We’re given a job. Maybe it isn’t the job you dreamed of, but who has dreams nowadays? No one. There’s only nightmares. If this is the only way to do something about it, then so be it.”

“Yours is a way, but it can’t be the only way,” Changkyun says. “I have mine. It’s not perfect either but it’s not going to break my mind down until I’m no longer even myself. If there was a way for me, there must be others.”

“It makes sense,” Kihyun whispers, and everyone looks at him. “They… give people blood to fight the beasts but the blood drives them mad. So, they tried to find… another way.” He frowns, eyes growing cold the more he looks at his hands. “The blood rituals… They were trying to give Hunters a way to access it all without the need for Grey Blood. But they only made me… at the cost of thousands…”

“What do you mean _ they made you…?” _ Hyungwon asks.

“Your precious Church,” Changkyun grits out, suddenly just… angry. “Keep calling him ‘it’, a demon, but he’s the result of thousands of souls sacrificed by the people you follow...”

Hyungwon’s eyes shift from Kihyun to Hoseok. “And you…?” Hyungwon asks.

“I don’t know, I was young,” Hoseok says softly, smiling small. “I just know a Hunter saved me, gave me Grey so I wouldn’t die. I can’t fight the way you do but… that one time was enough for…” Hoseok glances at Kihyun, “Me to be able to see things most people can’t.”

Changkyun frowns, chest a little tight. “Do you think--” he looks to Kihyun. _ Do you think he could touch you, too? _

Kihyun glances up from his hands. “I don’t care.” He looks to Hyungwon. “The Hunter’s School. That’s where you’re going?”

Hyungwon frowns. “Maybe…? Why?”

Kihyun looks at Changkyun but says nothing, just looks at him.

“You want to go with him?” Changkyun asks, gaping.

“You don’t?” Kihyun asks.

“Obviously, but--” Changkyun laughs softly, shakes his head. _ Funny to see you agree to wanting something _. “Yeah, let’s go. I’m curious.”

“Consider it a favour for an old friend,” Kihyun says, nose scrunching for a moment before he mists. _ “Let’s go, then.” _

_ For Kihyun? _

_ “For Kihyun.” _

  


* * *

  


The Hunter’s School, a chapel atop the mountain that overlooks the entire city and sits just behind the biggest building of all--bigger than the Royal Palace itself--White Cathedral. Surrounded by a forest of old, sick pine trees, the white chapel gives the atmosphere surrounding it an ominous feeling, especially once the sun begins to set and the bells of White Cathedral ring to announce the darkness.

It’s dark when they arrive, the trees closest to the main gate gnarled and hanging low in a path of cobblestone stairs that leads to the entrance of the ghostly white chapel. With the howling of the wind, the trees creak. And once the last of gold casts its last bright flash, nothing but the heavy moonlight gives the cracked windows of stained-glass a shine, casting an eerie glow onto the dusty altar Changkyun can see once Hyungwon pushes the heavy wooden door open.

The floor reflects everything, like a mirror, still waters that don’t ripple. But the sound of their footsteps echoes anyway, sounding deafening in between the cold stone walls.

“It’s underground,” Hyungwon mumbles, glancing over his shoulder at Changkyun. “You stay hidden while I talk. Are we clear?”

Changkyun nods, pulling his hood up over his head, splits from Hyungwon’s side to slip into the shadows, hand on the sword on his hip. He glances at the altar, and finds irony in it, too, when he ducks in behind it, peeking out as Hyungwon keeps walking.

The bells are still ringing in the distance. And when they stop, their thunder-like music echoes inside the small chapel, muffling Hyungwon’s footsteps until he disappears behind a door.

_ “If this doesn’t work,” _ Kihyun’s voice whispers, _ “I’m killing everyone.” _

_ I don’t doubt it, _ Changkyun thinks, frowning at the door. _ I wanna know what they’re saying in there... _

_ “The Hunter said he’d bring them here, whoever they are. So, we wait.” _

Changkyun puffs a small breath, feeling oddly impatient as he keeps looking around for anything interesting. Books upon books, probably all just religious drivel. They wouldn’t keep anything important up here, anyway.

_ “You’re antsy.” _

_ I’m in a church, of course I’m antsy. _

_ “It’s not big enough to be a church.” _

_ It’s a religious establishment. Run by the Church. _

Changkyun huffs again and sits back on his haunches, arms crossed as he just watches the door. _ With all this waiting, I could have made Hyungwon wait for me this morning, too… Tsk. _

_ “Didn’t you, though? You were at it for a good five minutes. Precious little time…” _

_ At it, _ Changkyun scoffs. _ How crude. _

_ “What would you call it then?” _

_ At this point? _ Changkyun actually blushes a little. _ Giving you a show. _

Kihyun doesn’t say anything, and silence installs itself. Only the howl of the wind outside keeps Changkyun’s busy mind some company. That is until footsteps echo through the chapel and the door where Hyungwon had disappeared behind opens.

It’s Hyungwon again, but he’s not alone. Someone, a man, probably in his fifties, garbs expensive and silky, follows behind him. A silvery silky hood covers the man’s head, and he looks tall. Tall and broad.

“A Hunter knows better than to believe rumours,” the man says, his tone rather colloquial despite the way he seems to be addressing Hyungwon.

“I just… wanted them addressed before they spread,” Hyungwon says, and Changkyun ducks down a little just in case they look around.

“Good Hunter,” the man says, hands hidden under his long sleeves. “The people desperately need someone to blame. It’s easier to do so than to take the blame, than to assume that their own greed led them to this. And they’re people. Many kiss the hand they wish to cut. They will say whatever they can to undermine our cause while pretending to be faithful.”

“True,” Hyungwon says, eyes glancing around once, as if to see if he can see Changkyun. “People have been saying that the person spreading these rumours is of royal blood. The missing prince.”

“He’s alive?” the man asks, sounding surprised.

“Apparently so, yes,” Hyungwon says. “I pledge to look for him, if I am given any clues to where he might be.”

“Hm,” the man pauses and seems to look down. “Many assumed he’d died after escaping. Although, after such a display of power, seems fitting that he didn’t.”

“Display of power?” Hyungwon asks.

“Well, he killed everyone in the facility. Even the prisoners. The boy is clearly insane.”

Hyungwon frowns, and Changkyun can understand why. Must be wondering why Changkyun would kill those prisoners, instead of saving them. But Changkyun had asked. He’d asked all of them, and they all chose death.

“Do they know what power it is? A demon of some sorts? A beast taking hold of his mind?”

“The boy must have turned into a beast. He must have been going mad just before he did. He was infected, yes? It is the only possible explanation for such… display of insanity and bloodthirst.”

“Of course,” Hyungwon says, nods. “I… had a question about something else, Father. About the joining.”

“Yes?”

“I know these are not... Questions usually asked, in propriety, but… The Grey Blood,” Hyungwon says, and Changkyun can hear the small waver in his voice. “What is it?”

The man seems to straighten up but half his face is still shadowed by his hood. “A gift from God Himself. A gift of power. A gift of life.”

“And what _ is _ life, High Priest?” Kihyun asks, suddenly sitting atop the altar, legs crossed, one over the other, arms folded over his knee as he gives the Priest a quizzical look, amusingly strange, like he’s amused but ironically so. “What is life?” Kihyun asks again, the Priest turning just a little as if to look at him _ clearly _ able to hear him, Changkyun’s eyes wide on Kihyun. “What is life if not an illusion, a shadow, a story. A _ madness. _ And the greatest good is little enough, for all life is a dream, and dreams themselves are only dreams.” A pause. And when Kihyun speaks again, his voice is sultry. “Do you dream, High Priest? Do you dream within the dream?”

“A demon,” the Priest says, and Hyungwon just looks at Kihyun, clearly angry. “You are a demon.”

“I am a nightmare,” Kihyun says, misting away and reappearing behind the Priest to whisper over his shoulder, “Do the ends justify the means? Is your life more valuable than his?” Kihyun suggests, gesturing vaguely, presence barely there, towards Hyungwon. “He _ knows _ the truth, the lie within the lie, the dream within the dream. He knows and he will dig your skull for answers if he has to.”

The Priest seems to look to Hyungwon, but says nothing.

Hyungwon swallows, says, “I fought a Hunter that had gone feral. A Healer I met said--said it was the Grey Blood, that it’ll turn us, Hunters, into monsters. Is it true?”

“See?” Kihyun whispers. _ “See? He doubts. You. Your faith. The faith. Everything. Curiosity, the need to know, a poison. You know it, don’t you, High Priest…?” _

“A Hunter should always do what a Hunter does; hunt.” The man shifts. “You’ve been straying from your path, Good Hunter.”

“My trust is in the Church,” Hyungwon says, swallowing, eyes a little wide on Kihyun. “I simply wanted to ask you the truth of it. To stop this demon’s lies.”

The man turns his head as if to look at Kihyun and then says, “Kill it, then.”

Hyungwon’s wide eyes stay on Kihyun. “I--I can’t, it’s too powerful, it would kill me.”

“A Hunter who is afraid to die?” the Priest questions.

“The fear of death,” Kihyun whispers, “Is what keeps people alive. But you…” Kihyun frowns, mists away, closer to Hyungwon. “You do not fear death, nor time.”

“No,” Hyungwon says, wincing a little when he looks at Kihyun. “But I don’t want to waste my time, nor die for nothing.”

Kihyun glances back at the Priest. “I didn’t mean you. I meant him. You know who I am.”

The Priest takes a breath and lifts his head further up, revealing an old gauze wrapped around his eyes. “You are a demon. It’s not about who you are but what you are. And while demons are rare, I do have an idea of which one you might be.” The Priest reaches up, his hand grey and wrinkled, and takes off the hood. He looks… older than what his initial appearance might have suggested, way, way older. Like he shouldn’t even be alive. “We take a gift from God. But humanity is greedy and greed has always been our undoing.”

“Born from blood,” Kihyun mumbles. “Undone by blood. The Grey. That was how it started, wasn’t it? You took it, whatever it is, and you were marveled by the power you’d acquired. So, you kept taking it, until madness took over and you fell into a dream, a nightmare turned real. You created the plague. You _ started _ this. And every Hunter is but an addition to this vicious cycle of yours, in which you thrive. So,” Kihyun glares, “You created me. Hoping you could give yourselves an escape. But you couldn’t control me, just like you couldn’t control the plague. So, you divided this land, beast against Hunter, and you conquered it, took it from the people’s hands.”

The Priest sighs. “It is a rather interesting sto--”

“Call me a liar and I’ll slit your throat.”

Changkyun smiles. And then realises he just smiled at Kihyun threatening to kill someone. How things change…

“Created the plague?” Hyungwon asks, looking horrified. “No, that--that can’t be true.”

“You heard that Hunter,” Kihyun says. “He called you, called Changkyun a killer. Hunters are killers. Because you are killing the people you swore to protect. There’s a lot of truth in madness. And far too many lies in sanity.”

“How did--No,” Hyungwon shakes his head, looks incredibly confused. “No, they didn’t create a demon, the plague, they didn’t do this.”

“I saw it,” Changkyun says, standing up, leaning over the altar he’s been hiding behind. “I saw what they did to him.”

The Priest turns enough as if to glances at Changkyun. “Ah… Your Highness. I was wondering when you were going to join the circular arguments.”

“Mm, it was getting dull,” Changkyun says, stepping out and walking closer, nose scrunched. “What have you done to yourself? You look like a corpse already.”

“I have transcended,” the Priest says.

Changkyun raises an eyebrow, stands next to Kihyun, a hand on his back. “You’ve deteriorated… You live, but look like death. I suppose irony isn’t entirely lost on the Church.”

The Priest sighs. “Not all of us are touched enough to transcend. Only a selected few will rise above all, thrive when the punishment of God ends.” He reaches up to remove the gauze from his eyes, revealing them hollow, and then shrugs off his cloak.

The sound of bones cracking echoes through the room and Changkyun sees the man’s limbs break and mend together again, his ribs exiting through his back as he grows, curves and changes into something, something with claws.

_ “TO CONTROL THE POWER OF GOD IS TO TRANSCEND THIS LIFE,” _ a loud, deep voice shouts, reverbing through the chapel and making the torches go out.

“That’s blasphemy,” Hyungwon says, eyes wide taking another step back. 

“Indeed,” Kihyun mumbles, “Many kiss the hand they wish to cut, High Priest…” He glances at Changkyun. “You need to go.”

“What?” Changkyun frowns at him. “No, we’re killing this thing.”

Kihyun takes a step back and pulls Changkyun back, too, but keeps his eyes on him instead of the growling beast that stretches even bigger just ahead. “I can’t do both. Not right now. That thing can’t kill me, but it can and will kill you.”

Changkyun’s chest feels tight, glancing to Hyungwon. “You’ll get him out, too?” Because no matter what, a weapon needs someone to wield it.

“I’ll try,” Kihyun mumbles. “But I’m less concerned with his soul than I am with yours.”

The creature growls loud and Hyungwon stares with wide, horrified eyes, and Changkyun tip-toes to kiss Kihyun’s forehead, before he turns and runs. He still hears Kihyun whisper, _ “Do you have a preference?” _ and Hyungwon reply, “Good reach and flexibility.”

A metal-like sound echoes through the chapel and the loud steps of the monster between those four walls feel like an earthquake under Changkyun’s feet. When he reaches the door, he turns around and sees a wall of wind between Hyungwon and the creature, a long scythe in Hyungwon’s hand.

_ “Go,” _ Kihyun’s voice whispers.

And before Changkyun leaves, he can’t help but wonder if he looks as dangerous as Hyungwon does, if he wields Kihyun as ellegantly, in the best way he could. Afterall, he’s not a Hunter, he’s just some prince that found a dagger.

  


* * *

  


Changkyun has to wait outside, but doesn’t dare go anywhere without Kihyun. He hears the fight inside, hears dogs roaming the streets of the city, a Cleric Hag sounding in the distance. But nothing scares him most than the silence that comes once the moon reaches its highest point in the sky.

It’s a silence that stretches into the night. A silence that makes him paranoid of every click, every whisper, every breeze. So, he stays still, and hopes that it’s all in his mind, that the darkness isn’t watching the way he feels it’s doing.

Clouds are crossing the night sky by the time the front door opens again, creaking with its own weight. Hyungwon walks out, but he’s soaked in red, and by the look on his face he seems numbed out. He goes down one of the steps before slowly sitting down, eyes on the cobblestone. And there he stays, quiet, as if he’s waiting for something.

Changkyun gives him that silent space, before he asks, “He’s in there killing everyone else, isn’t he?”

Hyungwon’s eyes gloss but he blinks it away. “He said it’d be quick… There aren’t that many people here, either way. And the Hunters are… out.”

“I assume,” Changkyun frowns. “You’re going to stop taking the Grey?”

“I don’t know,” Hyungwon mumbles. “I can’t… help if I don’t? But if I do… I’ll…”

“I can do it, you don’t have to,” Changkyun mumbles, takes a breath. “We’ll find out where these monsters are coming from, find the truth behind all this and stop the need for Hunters and the Church all together.”

Hyungwon scoffs a bitter laugh, looks at his hands as he gestures at nothing, “You’d had to… kill every beast, stop them from spreading the plague. It would take years, maybe decades and… You’d be doing it alone.”

“I’m the only person who can,” Changkyun frowns. “Without dying or turning into some monster. And when I’m dead, Kihyun will help someone else, and it’ll continue, until it’s all gone.”

“You’d need to learn. How to fight, when to fight a certain way, and about what you’re fighting.”

“Are you offering?”

Hyungwon looks away for a moment before glancing at Changkyun. “To teach you? Someone has to… Might as well be me.”

Changkyun smiles, thumbing at his own palm. “I…” Changkyun frowns. “I’m sorry. About all of this. I know I’ve been insensitive about it all but… Yeah. Sorry…”

Hyungwon scrunches his nose and looks down. “The Church is an institution. Institutions are made by men and men are corrupt. We follow the example of God, Who uses power for His own benefit. Read the texts and you’ll see, it’s there.” Hyungwon shrugs. “I have faith. And I don’t need a building or an institution to dictate that faith. I’m just… angry. Angry that something so pure can be used against you for the sake of…_ ascension _or whatever that was about.”

“Transcending,” Kihyun corrects as he passes by, casually going down the stairs. He stops on the last one and looks up at Changkyun. “You might not want to linger, in case someone comes by. Let’s go?”

Changkyun nods, standing up and, when he looks back at Hyungwon, he holds out a hand. Not for the first time. But this time, after frowning at it, Hyungwon takes it.

  


* * *

  


Hyungwon immediately excuses himself to his room and Changkyun can’t blame him. Tomorrow, they start their training, but for now, Changkyun thinks, Hyungwon might need to mourn a little. Not the kind of mourning that comes with the death of a loved one, but a part of their life just fell out from under their feet, it makes sense to feel that loss. 

Once Changkyun crosses eyes with Minhyuk, though, Minhyuk gestures vaguely at the back of the shop with a small smile before going back to cleaning the gun on the counter. Changkyun frowns but walks to the back, immediately smiling when he sees Jooheon.

“Hey!” Changkyun says, rushing closer for a hug. “Ahh, why does it feel like it’s been years since I’ve seen you!”

Jooheon actually squeezes Changkyun a little, deflating when he does, “Because life is hectic, lately. Even though it’s just been a few days.”

“Yeah, no kidding,” Changkyun laughs, pulling away and he’s just… so happy to see his best friend. To have this part of his old life, still, despite everything else, despite the things he’s seen, even just _ tonight _. “How’ve you been?”

Jooheon’s smile falters a little and he looks down. “Good… You?”

Changkyun can’t help but frown softly. “Same old, same old… You okay?”

“I am,” Jooheon says. “I just…” He looks up. “Things aren’t pretty in the Palace, Kyun. The Church, they’ve been… pressuring your parents a lot more, sort of using you and what you supposedly did as some sort of leverage…”

“What?!” Changkyun gapes, immediately furious. “Pressuring them to do what?!”

“The King is going to declare an emergency, the Church will be allowed to purge the city if they see fit.”

Changkyun’s heart drops. “Why…? Things haven’t changed, what _ emergency _?”

Jooheon breathes out a little shaky and frowns. “I don’t know… they… they said you went batshit crazy, killed a bunch of people and stole some weapon of mass destruction, that you’re allying with the beasts--I don’t know! People talk, I can only catch bits of this and that. I’m not even allowed in the quarters anymore! They moved me back to my parents’.”

“Fuck,” Changkyun breathes, a hand through his hair. 

_ “Divide and conquer,” _ Kihyun’s voice whispers. _ “The best way to control a group of people is by encouraging them to fight among themselves rather than allowing them to unite in opposition.” _

“But they can’t--they can’t _ purge _the city, that’s murder, you’ll be killing hundreds of innocent people, I don’t…”

“I know,” Jooheon huffs, shoulders slumping. “But…”

_ “Innocence is questionable. No one is truly innocent.” _

Changkyun’s mind races, hand gripping at his hair. “I’m… I’m the Prince, I was supposed to help Aureum, I was going to make a difference, I never…”

“Kyun,” Jooheon says softly, “This is the last time I’m coming here, too…”

Changkyun’s hand drops, his chest tight. “What? No… No, no, no…”

“They’ve been watching me, Kyun,” Jooheon says, sounding a little desperate, “I had to run in circles to be able to come here without being noticed...”

“We’ll--We’ll meet somewhere else, I’ll come to you.”

“You _ can’t _ come to the Palace.”

“I can’t _ lose _you,” Changkyun says, desperately aware that he might burst into tears if he’s not careful. “Not you, too...”

“You won’t,” Jooheon says, frowns a little harsher and holds Changkyun’s hands. “You won’t. But… I… I can’t risk my family, Kyun…”

“I know, I wouldn’t--” Changkyun sniffs, looks down at their hands. “Ask you to.”

Jooheon pouts and reaches up with one hand to clean the stray tears that run down Changkyun’s face. He opens his mouth to say something, but the words don’t seem to come out, so he purses his lips and looks down. Before anything or anyone can fill the silence, however, Jooheon leans in and presses his lips against Changkyun’s. 

Changkyun jolts, eyes wide on Jooheon, heart dropping into his stomach.

Oh no.

_ Oh no... _

Jooheon leans back, eyes a little shiny on Changkyun’s. And even though he looks a bit hopeful, he also looks really sad. 

“I’m sorry…” he says, looking down and smiling small. “I’ll… try to keep an eye out and,” he huffs a breath and looks away, leans completely away, giving Changkyun’s hand one last squeeze before letting go. “If something important comes up, I’ll... I’ll let you know. I promise.”

“Joo,” Changkyun says, feeling a little lost. 

“Don’t,” Jooheon says softly, looking over with that small, sad smile. “I know. I’m your best friend, I know you better than you know yourself. I just… wanted you to know, if that’s okay…”

“Do--” Changkyun swallows, heart heavy. “Do you need to go…?”

“In a bit… I’m--” Jooheon huffs a laugh. “Supposed to be picking a few things up from the blacksmith by the bridge? Some stuff my father ordered…”

“Okay,” Changkyun says softly, eyes shifting around. “I’m going to see you again, right? I…” Changkyun bites his lips in. Because he didn’t know. He didn’t know! 

Jooheon smiles a little brighter. “Obviously. So don’t go stick your nose where it’s not wanted. I won’t be around to get you out.”

“Bit too late for that,” Changkyun says, smiling softly. He keeps wanting to say he’s sorry. He keeps just wanting to ask ‘how long’, ‘will you be okay’. And that’s just… so shitty, isn’t it? “I’m really gonna miss you…”

Jooheon laughs and shrugs. “I’ve been missing you every day. Kinda miss the crazy adventures, too, now. Funny how that works…”

“Wish we’d ended that on a better note, but alas…” Changkyun bites at his lip. “Can you, uhm, is it possible for you to--to talk to my mom?”

Jooheon blinks, nods. “Yeah… Of course.”

“Just tell her I’m alive. And that I’m still me. They… They should announce that I’m dead but I need her to know I’m okay…”

Jooheon nods again. “Yeah… Yeah, I will. She comes by the stables every afternoon. I think I can sneak in,” he grins. “Got years of experience of sneaking into places I shouldn’t.”

Changkyun laughs a little, sniffs at the end of it. “Glad I taught you some things.” He pouts, looking up at Jooheon. “Will… Will you be okay? I’m sorry, I don’t--”

Jooheon rolls his eyes and reaches up to press his palm against Changkyun’s face, shoving lightly at him, making him laugh. “Aish… Don’t. I know. And I’ll be fine.” Jooheon sighs, drops his hand. “Really. We’re… We’re best friends. No one can take that away. And that’s all I need.”

Changkyun pouts, walking closer to hug him again. “I love you… But you know that.”

“I know,” Jooheon mumbles. “I… Yeah.” He laughs a little. “Please, be careful, yeah?”

“Nah,” Changkyun smiles. “But I will be safe.”

Jooheon startles when Minhyuk passes the dangling curtains, raising an eyebrow when he sees Changkyun pasted to Jooheon. Minhyuk doesn’t linger, though, he just grabs a pair of scissors from one of the shelves and turns to walk back into the front of the shop.

“I should go,” Jooheon mumbles, pushing Changkyun away just enough to look at him. “And… whatever they say about you, I’ll always believe you first. Even if it’s crazy. Even if I don’t understand.”

Changkyun pouts some more because _ of course he does _, and nods. “Thank you… I’m--I’m going to try my best, yeah? To stop this, to make a difference, make things better…”

Jooheon grins, “Little Prince proving to everyone you don’t need to be King to make a difference. I dig it.” He takes a step back and then walks past Changkyun, patting at his shoulder. “Take care, brother.”

“You too, hyung…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now playing: Requiem, K. 626: Lacrimosa by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart [Academy of Ancient Music, Stephen Cleobury and Choir of King's]
> 
> [Youtube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nz4QV6VRvUw) / [Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/3oHSL6pt9LpNrQZuQGu9wL?si=4PPDImSuQHuAnI7HAVYXTA)


	7. Aegrescit Memendo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Changkyun’s mind goes mute. And in the dark behind his eyelids, the silence of pure pleasure flooding his head, he sees Kihyun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aegrescit Memendo - The Remedy Is Worse Than The Disease
> 
> [ cw for mention of attempted rape ]

_ “Never close your lips to those whom you have already opened your heart.” _

Charles Dickens

_ _ _ _

Jooheon leaves and Changkyun feels numb. He holds his own hand in front of his chest, and feels it, too; loss. The last connection to his old life, the most important human being in his life, and he has no idea when he’ll see him again. 

And not just that, Changkyun may have just broken Jooheon's heart.

When he turns around to--to _ something _, to just go lie down, to bathe, to something, anything at all, Kihyun is sitting on the stairs that lead up to his room.

“Oh,” Changkyun says. “Hi.”

Kihyun blinks, frowns a little. “Did we say goodbye?”

“I suppose not,” Changkyun mumbles, walking to the stairs. “Not really something we can say, is it…”

“Just because we’re connected, doesn’t mean we can’t part ways.”

“Not in any way that matters,” Changkyun mumbles and walks up the stairs, blinking away the burn behind his eyes, not even bothering to see if Kihyun goes or stays. 

There’s new, hot water, so Changkyun pours it into the bath and strips, gets in and just feels… numb. 

He knows everything is fine, but it still feels like he’s been hit straight on the chest. Because he should have known. Surely, he should have known. Jooheon knew him well enough to know that Changkyun doesn’t love him like that, and yet Jooheon did, and Changkyun just didn’t have a fucking clue.

“Ugh,” Changkyun groans, runs wet hands over his face, squeezes them against his eyes. And after a minute, he finds himself relaxing into the water.

_ “Are you alright?” _ Kihyun’s voice whispers around the air.

“Yeah,” Changkyun says, head back on the edge of the bath. “Turns out I can handle a lot, now.”

_ “You’ve been able to handle ‘a lot’ since we met. And you’ve been through worse.” _

Changkyun frowns, opening his eyes to look at the ceiling. “But I haven’t lost anything before now. Not really. Not something I cared about.” Changkyun sighs, handover his face again. “But don’t worry, if you do. I’m fine.”

There’s only a slight shift in the water, so faint it could be nothing. But then Kihyun’s voice sounds closer and right there.

“What did you lose?” he asks.

Changkyun lifts his head, eyes catching on Kihyun sitting in the corner of the tub, and he looks… Soft. He’s naked, water up to his waist, hair fluffy and down over his forehead in a way that makes his face look so much rounder, the sharp edges softening out, somehow. He looks younger, smaller, and Changkyun feels it in his chest.

And suddenly, it doesn’t matter.

“Come here?” Changkyun asks, voice softer than he thought it would be.

Kihyun glances up and blinks as if to process Changkyun’s request. But then he leans forward, closer, the water shifting around them as he crawls over Changkyun’s legs and sits on his lap, straddling him, crimson eyes staring into dark brown ones.

“What did you lose?” Kihyun asks again, curling his fingers into his palms between the two of them and squeezing them to squirt water at Changkyun’s face.

“I’m not sure yet,” Changkyun says, laughing at the water that splashes against his forehead, before his eyes wander a little, a hand settling carefully on Kihyun’s thigh. Even under water, it feels soft to the touch. His other hand can’t help but reach up and cup at Kihyun’s cheek as he smiles. “Hey…”

“You must really like greeting people,” Kihyun mumbles, looking away but very faintly leaning into the touch.

“You look different, is all,” Changkyun says, smiling a little wider and thumbing at Kihyun’s cheek. “You always look beautiful, but now... It’s just different.”

Kihyun blinks up at Changkyun and then down, squirting up some more water and hitting Changkyun’s nostrils, making him flail and cough even as he laughs. 

“Hey! It’s a compliment, I like it!”

Kihyun smiles small, eyes on the water. “If you say so…”

Changkyun traces his thumb over Kihyun’s lips. They’re all so precious, his smiles. Because Death isn’t supposed to smile, right? 

“You are, though,” Changkyun mumbles. “It’s the first thing I noticed about you.”

“That I am… what?” Kihyun mutters, lips moving against Changkyun’s thumb.

Changkyun blinks and it’s so stupidly easy to answer and say, “The most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”

Kihyun blinks up, eyes shifting between Changkyun’s before they drop down to his lips and snap back up. Like he got caught doing something he shouldn't. Like he doesn't understand why he did it at all.

“They… They’re trying to take things from you,” Kihyun says then, completely out of context, like he's trying to rationalize something to fill the awkward silence. “But you haven’t lost them yet.” He leans in, looks Changkyun in the eye. “Use me? And fight back. Even if it’s… complicated, even if you have to tear down half the city. Any action taken to put something right is often more unpleasant or damaging than the original problem. But that doesn't mean it’s wrong. In fact, it doesn’t mean anything. To me, at least. So,” Kihyun presses his forehead against Changkyun’s and whispers against his lips. “Use me. And do what you have to.”

Changkyun frowns soft, stomach pulling just a little because… _ Well _. 

He shakes his head, though, forehead just brushing against Kihyun’s, hand sneaking further up his thigh, thumbing at his hip bone.

“We do it together.”

Kihyun huffs something that could be a laugh. “I’m far more rational about these things than you are…”

Changkyun smiles. “I’m a romantic like that,” Changkyun says, brushing his lips over Kihyun’s. “Or maybe I’m just silly like that…” It does feel a little silly, a little foolhardy, perhaps, but Changkyun is finding it very difficult to stop. “Because I think we can do it. You and me, I think we can save the city.”

Kihyun nods faintly and then frowns a little, closing the remaining distance to press his lips against Changkyun’s, so softly that it could be a memory rather than something real. Like a soft breeze Changkyun can feel against his skin, but doesn’t seem to touch the world around him.

Because this isn’t Changkyun kissing first and then Kihyun returning in kind. This is just Kihyun giving, kissing Changkyun out of the blue, even if he’s sat on his lap.

Changkyun slides his hand up behind Kihyun’s head to deepen the kiss, grip into his hair. He pulls Kihyun closer by the hip to have them press against each other, hand squeezing softly at his ass.

Kihyun breathes out through his nose, like a sigh, and then bites at Changkyun’s lower lip, pulling at it a little before tonguing where he bruised. He brings his arms over Changkyun’s shoulders and slides even closer, grinding against Changkyun whether on purpose or not.

“Didn’t--” Changkyun gasps against his lips, scratching down Kihyun’s thigh and then up, taking Kihyun’s dick in hand between kisses. “Teach you how to do that…”

“I wasn’t born yesterday,” Kihyun teases, fingers trailing up the back of Changkyun’s neck and grabbing a handful of his hair, pulling to force him to look up so Kihyun can kiss his neck and mouth at his adam’s apple. “And you know you want it… So…”

Changkyun swallows against Kihyun’s lips, squeezing at Kihyun’s dick as he thumbs at the tip, velvety soft in his hand. “So do you.”

“If… that helps you sleep at night,” Kihyun mumbles, licks a stripe on Changkyun’s neck, from his throat to his chin. When he bites lightly at Changkyun’s jaw, Changkyun feels the softness in his hand twitch a little.

He smiles, slowly moving his hand as he moves to lick at Kihyun’s tongue, peeking out between his lips, hand soothing down his chest before pinching at a nipple. Kihyun sucks in a breath and falls forward a little. He gives Changkyun a half-hearted glare despite how much bigger he just grew in his hand.

Ghosts don’t get hard, right? Changkyun feels oddly proud.

“I’m gonna stand up,” Changkyun says against his lips. “Don’t mist away. Wrap your legs around me.”

Kihyun frowns but does as he’s told, despite the hesitance. And Changkyun easily carries him to the bed, lays him down and moves his legs up over his shoulders. He wastes no time to lick at the underside of Kihyun’s dick, mouthing at the shaft, at his balls, all the way up again to the tip that he circles with his tongue, looking up at Kihyun, who catches his eye and then lets his head fall back, a breath leaving him.

Changkyun takes his time to lick at Kihyun’s dick, to coat it with saliva, and feels himself harden because _ honestly _, did Kihyun need to have a pretty dick, too? He has no business being this perfect, but Changkyun isn’t complaining, especially not at the salty-sweet taste of Kihyun’s precum. He leaves soft touches on Kihyun’s balls when he starts sucking at the tip, keeps sucking as he slowly lowers his mouth down over Kihyun’s dick.

Kihyun moans something that could very likely be a hiss, legs tensing a little over Changkyun’s shoulders, like he wants to snap them closed. But the more Changkyun sucks him, the more Kihyun melts, until the only thing Changkyun can consciously focus on are the soft breaths that leave Kihyun’s lips and the sound of his own mouth around him.

And Changkyun just loves it. He moans and swallows around Kihyun’s dick, starts moving his mouth up and down on him, shifts to take him in deeper. He trails his fingers down Kihyun’s balls, a finger brushing over his asshole as he bops his head up and down faster and faster.

Kihyun’s dick is swollen and heavy in Changkyun’s mouth and his asshole twitches whenever Changkyun’s fingers brush over it. If Kihyun’s breathy sounds are anything to go by, then he’s close.

Kihyun reaches down, fingers into Changkyun’s hair before they squeeze around a handful when Kihyun’s whole body tenses and he comes into Changkyun’s mouth, biting at his lip to muffle a sound.

Changkyun swallows the warmth, until Kihyun relaxes, and he slowly pulls off, licks at Kihyun’s slit before kissing the tip (Kihyun jumps a little at that), hand soothing over Kihyun’s ass. He looks up and smiles, crawling back over Kihyun as he licks at his lips.

“So?” Changkyun grins, looking down at him, who looks a lot less composed than usual, the black in his eyes making the red but an aura.

“So what?” Kihyun breathes out.

“Warm?” Changkyun asks, placing a soft kiss to Kihyun’s squishy lips.

Kihyun frowns a little. “What about you…?”

Changkyun rolls his eyes fondly. “That was for you, Ki…”

Kihyun frowns some more. “But why…?”

Changkyun stares for a minute, at the pink of Kihyun’s cheeks and the little flecks of brown in his eyes and he realises it as he says, “Because I care about you.”

“You care about other people, too… Actually, you--” Kihyun glances to the side, “Care about everyone.”

Changkyun raises an eyebrow. “I don’t suck everyone’s dicks, Kihyun.”

“And why not?” Kihyun asks, slowly lifting himself up and making Changkyun sit back. “I’m not trying to sound smart, I just…” Kihyun looks down. “I want to understand…”

Changkyun licks his lips and frowns. “It’s a different kind of care. I…” Changkyun sighs. “I’m attracted to you. Even before I fucking _ saw _you, apparently, if those touches were anything to go by but… This is something I only feel for you, so, no, I’m not going to go out there and suck everyone’s dick, and yeah, I care about them not getting killed, obviously, but it’s not the same kind of care. Not the same… I don’t know, intensity, I guess…”

“Infatuation,” Kihyun breathes out like he’s talking to himself. He thumbs at his own hand and nods small. “I see.”

Changkyun makes a face. “No, I--No, I hate that word, no, it’s not that, god…” Changkyun ruffles at his wet hair, looking at Kihyun a little shyly. “I talk big but this is new to me, too. I want to explain it but I’m also still kind of figuring it out, _ but… _” Changkyun shrugs, looking down. He’s so very naked. “Infatuation is too ephemeral for this.”

Kihyun glances up and watches Changkyun’s face. “Your… _ care. _ It makes me feel like I’m not just someone else’s ghost. That’s why it’s warm, and alive. It makes me feel like… me. And while I don’t know how I feel about that, I don’t think I dislike it.”

Changkyun pouts, shifting a little closer, wants to reach out but just bumps his knee softly against him. “I’ve never even met the Kihyun that came before, just you. It’s you I care for. So I’m glad you feel like that?” Changkyun laughs softly, fingers hesitantly dancing over Kihyun’s leg. “It makes me happy.”

“No one’s ever cared for me before,” Kihyun mumbles. “Can’t blame them. But no one cared for Kihyun either… So I didn’t know, I don’t know… how it works, I’m just vaguely aware of how it feels. He didn’t get to teach me. I think he was far too gone to teach me anything at all.”

“I… I can,” Changkyun says, chest a little tight. “If you want.”

Kihyun smiles small and then leans forward to kiss Changkyun’s lips, pressing against him to tip him back and crawl over him. “Teach me, then,” Kihyun whispers against his mouth. Changkyun is so busy coming to terms with the shift that he doesn’t notice Kihyun’s hand on his crotch until it palms at him. 

He shivers, shuddering a little against Kihyun’s lips as he rolls his hips into Kihyun’s hand, his own coming up to scratch at the nape of his neck, between the fine hair there. 

He can’t place the smell or taste of Kihyun for the life of him, but it manages to be sweet, like if sugar smoked up in wafts over a fire. And Changkyun breathes it in, lets it fuddle his mind, implore his senses and drowns in the smoke, in shallow breaths that fill his lungs.

Kihyun kisses him and it’s like the world stopped, leaving just the two of them, the warmth, the way Kihyun squeezes tightly at him, the sense of eternity between every press of lips. And even though to Kihyun this is all just a blink, because he’s as eternal as time and Changkyun has his own clock beating inside his chest, it seems like he’s trying to make it last, stretch the blink, the second, just a moment longer.

“What do you want?” he asks then, softly, lips pressed against Changkyun’s ear, thumb pressing at the slit of Changkyun’s dick. _ “What do you want?” _ he asks again, this time in a different way, like he’s not really here even though Changkyun knows he is. It reminds him of those touches he couldn’t see, only feel. And it makes him shiver again.

The smoke turns to the fire that makes it, and Changkyun turns them around, a hand wrapped around Kihyun’s wrist. And he looks _ so fucking pretty _, hair a little wild against the sheets. 

“Everything.”

It’s unusual to see Kihyun’s chest heaving so much. It’s unusual to see the glint to his eyes that makes them shine beyond the dullness they always wear as a front. But what’s even more unusual than all that, is the small giggle that bursts out and makes Kihyun’s lips curl into a small smile even as he reaches for the back of Changkyun’s head and pulls him into a kiss.

“You’re greedy,” Kihyun whispers. “I like that.”

Changkyun blinks, feels a small split over his face because Kihyun just _ giggled _. And it’s the most precious thing he’s ever heard. “Wow,” Changkyun breathes, and then kisses him back, a little more playful, hands down to Kihyun’s sides to press his fingers into the soft flesh.

Kihyun snorts against Changkyun’s lips and when Changkyun leans back he finds Kihyun staring wide eyed at him, like he doesn’t know why he just laughed.

“You’re ticklish,” Changkyun laughs, presses softly again. Kihyun’s eyes widen again and he just mists away, reappearing behind Changkyun, nose pressed against his shoulder. “Sorry,” Changkyun laughs, looking back at him. “It was cute, I couldn’t help myself.”

Kihyun narrows his eyes at him and then sticks a finger to Changkyun’s ribs, making him yelp a giggle, entire body immediately just giving in to flail and squirm. 

Meanwhile, Kihyun just… stares at him and then looks at his finger, probably wondering what kind of superpower this is.

“No fair, I can’t mist away!” Changkyun whines even as he giggles, arms around himself, shoulders up like that’ll protect him.

“You’re ticklish, too,” Kihyun informs him, like that wasn’t obvious.

“I could have _ told _you that,” Changkyun says, shivers a little and looks to the side, biting his lip. He blinks, and when he opens his eyes again he finds himself staring at Kihyun, who’s now lying down on his side next to him. 

“What is it?” Kihyun asks, eyes searching Changkyun’s face.

Changkyun smiles, reaching out to touch softly at Kihyun’s hair. “Just thinking,” he says, hand soothing over Kihyun’s ear, fingertips on his hair. “You’ve never done any of this stuff, have you?”

“You’ll… have to elaborate,” Kihyun mumbles, frowning lightly.

“Right,” Changkyun smiles. “Uhm, sex…? I know you’ve never kissed anyone, so...”

Kihyun glances away, and then at the ceiling. “Hard to say… But I think you know the answer to that, in a way.” He looks at Changkyun. “Don’t you?”

Changkyun nods, stomach feeling a little hollow suddenly, “Yeah, I assumed…” 

“Have you?” Kihyun asks, reaching for Changkyun’s wrist to pull him closer before dropping his arm over his waist.

“A few times,” Changkyun shrugs, “Just sex, though. I was a prince, not like I could date. That and, well, you were there for what the Church was about to do. And that… Wouldn’t have been the first time.”

Kihyun frowns. When he talks again, it’s also the first time his tone matches his words; “I’m sorry,” he says, and he sounds and looks like it. “People sometimes forget that… there’s more than one type of death. Like… those whose lives you put an end to back in the underground tunnels where they were keeping you…? Those people weren’t really alive anymore. Their souls barely _ felt. _”

Changkyun purses his lips, nodding small and moving even closer. He’s so warm. “It’s why I asked, though. It was… Only once, for me--” Changkyun winces. “But I can’t even imagine being _ kept _like that…” He swallows, pouting a little when he looks at Kihyun. “That’s what they did to you as well…?”

“Not just once,” Kihyun mumbles, looks down. “At some point… it gets hazy… But it doesn’t really matter. They’re dead now. All of them.”

“You killed them?”

_ “All _ of them.”

“Good,” Changkyun says, hand on Kihyun’s cheek. 

“It’s alright, though,” Kihyun looks up. “I know it’s not like that… I think. Even though you said I like to be in control… it’s not… I like to think it’s not because of that. Although, it made me wonder if it was… Because so far, everything that I’ve done, everything that I do… puts me in control. Which is something that Kihyun--that _ I _ never really had. Until I did.”

Changkyun smiles, leaning in to press a soft kiss to Kihyun’s lips when his chest lights up with just… happiness. “Yes, you. I like you.”

Kihyun’s eyes widen a little and he looks at Changkyun like he just grew another pair of eyes. Kihyun leans forward but lowers his head, forehead pressing against Changkyun’s chest when he says, “Don’t make me wish I could die, too.” 

Changkyun’s chest tightens as he blinks, hand coming up behind Kihyun’s head to hold him close. He rubs his face a little on Changkyun’s chest and then just stays there, lets out a quiet breath and sniffles just a little.

_ Oh _. 

“Oh… Baby, I’m sorry…” Changkyun mumbles against Kihyun’s hair. “It’s okay…”

Because sometimes it's easy to forget that Kihyun spent almost a century in a limbo, just wanting to feel something. Because sometimes it's easy to take for granted a touch of a friend, the loving kiss of a parent, words like love, care and like… all those things Kihyun never had.

He knew pain, desperation, anger, killing intent, wanting to die, desire and curiosity. And he was hope himself. But all these things Changkyun always took for granted, are things Kihyun never really had.

He shifts, pulls Changkyun on top of him and kisses him, says, “I know,” tears collecting at the corner of his eyes despite how calm he looks. He wraps his legs around Changkyun’s waist and repeats, in a totally different way, a way that is more felt than heard, _ “I know.” _

It’s suddenly different, the way Changkyun is kissed, the way he kisses back, the way Kihyun turns into the greedy one, kissing down Changkyun chest and sliding down, taking him into his mouth.

Changkyun’s mind goes mute. And in the dark behind his eyelids, the silence of pure pleasure flooding his head, he sees Kihyun.

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  


The night unfurls like it always, the last bell ringing in the distance. It’s raining, and the dampness in the air evens out the smell of rot that always plagues the streets of Old Aureum. The clouds in the sky hide the bright moon, but the hunt is still on.

“They’re all creatures of blood,” Hyungwon explains as he leans against one of the walls of the narrow street they’re hiding in, covered by the shadows. He fixes his Hunter hat and pulls the scarf over his mouth and nose, eyes on the werewolf that is currently sniffing at the square just ahead, sort of between them and the bridge that leads into the Wailing Woods. “That saw cleaver Kihyun stole from the mad Hunter? It’s a great weapon. The saw draws the blood of beasts and if transformed into a long cleaver it makes use of centrifugal force. You might want to start with that against tougher enemies.” Hyungwon crosses his arms and looks at the sword in Changkyun’s hand. “As for that… You like swords, don’t you? Do you like blades, too? Because I might have an idea for a trick weapon for you, but that means we’ll have to go get it.”

Changkyun has to grin. Hyungwon has started calling Kihyun by his name, stopped calling him ‘it’. 

“I like blades. It’s the first thing he turned into, so call me sentimental. Where do we get this weapon, then?”

Hyungwon’s eyebrows climb on his forehead and he glances over. “Past the bridge, in the middle of the woods, sits a temple in omnage to God. The Church lost contact a long time ago. They still sent a Hunter and a few clerics, but none came back. They say the man who used to guard the temple went mad, an old Cleric Hunter eaten by the plague. He… turned into a Cleric Hag.”

_ “Oh, I like this,” _ Kihyun whispers in a sultry tone.

“Well, I did promise you a Cleric Hag,” Changkyun smiles, looking at the bridge, the eerie forest that looks more like a black sea than a forest from here. “What’s so special about Cleric Hags, then?”

Hyungwon glances at the werewolf when it begins scavenging through something. “They’re horrid beings who were once human priests. They are rare and it is sacrilege to speak their name. I’ve only seen one, once, and I…” Hyungwon shifts, “Honestly, I had to run.”

_ “They’re big. And nightmarish. And they screech like the winds of death.” _

“You’re staying, then,” Changkyun says to Hyungwon. “The Grey is leaving you already, I wouldn’t risk it…”

Hyungwon glances over. “Well, I taught you what I could these past few days. It will take practice but… I’m sure you’ll be fine.” He leans away from the wall and reaches into his pocket, brings out a few crimson pearls.

“Still salty I can’t use wind, too,” Changkyun mutters, idly watching the werewolf. Funny, how that doesn’t even phase him anymore.

“Here,” Hyungwon says, handing Changkyun the pearls. “They’re Blood Stones. If you need to give Kihyun an extra boost, I figure these might help. Supposedly, they’re soul essence, I figured he could feed off of them. Don’t waste them carelessly, these are all I’ve got.”

_ They look a little like your eyes _, Changkyun thinks, rolling the pearls in hand before putting them into his pocket. “Thanks.”

“Don’t forget the oil. Your magic is fire based, splash them with oil and then burn them to death.”

_ “If you kill them with fire then I won’t be able to have them…” _

“I’ll do it if I have to,” Changkyun says.

Hyungwon nods and then reaches up for his Hunter hat, the black feather on the side fluffing up and down as he lowers it and places it atop Changkyun’s head. “Good hunting, Hunter,” Hyungwon says as he turns around to walk away.

Changkyun reaches up to touch at the hat, pouts and takes the small step towards Hyungwon to squeeze his waist in a hug.

“Get home safe, hyung,” Changkyun says, squeezing again. He’s so _ skinny _.

“Yes, yes,” Hyungwon grumbles, presses a hand against the hat to fit it properly on Changkyun’s head. “I’ll see you at sunrise.”

Changkyun grins, stepping away and giving a small, two fingered salute. “Say hi to Hoseok for me.”

Hyungwon rolls his eyes and finally turns away and walks away with a soft, “Ass.”

The weight on Changkyun’s hand shifts and the sheathed sword turns into a saw cleaver that quickly swings itself open and longer. The shadows do nothing but mute its dull colours, and they mix with the night, the black of Changkyun’s leather coat and gloves and the darkness of the narrow street.

_ “The Hunt is nigh.” _

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  


The Wailing Woods. There’s a reason they’re called after a wail, with how the wind and the creaking branches echo in a weep that mixes with the laments of wraiths that float up and about before they disappear.

_ “Echoes,” _ is what Kihyun calls them, lingering wishes of those who died here, not really alive but not quite dead. They’re not souls either, just whispers, ghosts.

The path Changkyun follows fades as it leads into the darkness. His feet climb the narrow strip of naked earth among the giant roots and tangle around each other, crossing from one side to the other. But the further he goes, the more robbed of senses he feels. It’s like his eyes might betray him, mistaking shadows for something else. Like the creaks of branches might be steps around him. Like the leaves that sometimes touch his skin might be spirits reaching out for something alive.

There is no map to follow. There is only the occasional screech, something that makes goosebumps erupt all over, that is getting louder the further up Changkyun goes. And up he goes, until white pillars finally show him the way, leading to broken walls and stairs that have long been eaten by the trees’ roots.

The worst part is that this unquestionably a place of God. Or was, at least. And while the Church may have strayed so far away from God in an attempt to become it, there’s a heaviness in holy places that Changkyun has always somewhat respected. The way his mother would always gently place down a religious book, but throw others around. It’s a deep-seated respect that seems to have permeated these walls, the very ground beneath him. And now it’s just desecrated. It just seems _ wrong _.

The only thing that redeems it, is the green. The weeds and vines that have claimed this place. That and the beautiful stained glass rose that sits at the farthest wall of the chapel, once Changkyun walks in.

Unfortunately, the quietness and the beauty of the place is quickly replaced with a tinge of fear. A shadow, bigger than Changkyun would have thought, stretching from the darkness and finally letting the light catch it. A creature, foul in appearance, face almost demonic, with a humanoid expression that sports a thin, tendril-like tongue, dangling from a grinning open mouth, a long nose, and a pair of extremely long, twisted horns.

Hyungwon said this used to be a human. That unnerves Changkyun more than probably anything else he’s seen. Especially when it turns to him, a foul screech echoing through the chapel’s walls, making them tremble and Changkyun’s ears ring with them.

Changkyun is _ not _looking forward to this. But even just by the way the sword glints in his hand, it’s obvious that Kihyun is.

The creature crouches and then… _ jumps. _ It lurches forward towards Changkyun, claws digging through the walls of the chapel as it flies closer. Changkyun only has a few seconds to run forward and duck just as the Cleric Hag slams its fists right where he had been standing. 

Adrenaline rushes through his veins, and while the creature is still facing the wall, Changkyun jumps to stab the sword into the creature’s back.

Tendril-like tongues curl all the way down from the monster’s head and wrap around the sword, around Changkyun’s wrists and arm, his waist. They tighten so harshly that he has to let go of Kihyun, falling down to the floor, his hat falling from his head. The tendrils pull at the sword, too, and throw it away just as the monster turns to screech at Changkyun, its foul breath making him nauseated.

The monster raises a fits to slam it down but it bounces off a shield that appears in front of Changkyun, a shield that gets knocked back and turns into Kihyun who bumps into Changkyun and sends the two of them crashing against the wall.

It hurts, but if Changkyun does get hurt, he doesn’t notice, grabbing at Kihyun’s wrist to rush a little away, not taking his eyes off the creature. Kihyun turns into a sword in his hand, the hilt as warm as Kihyun’s wrist was just a moment ago. 

_ Any ideas? _Changkyun asks, rushing even further away when the creature screams in their direction. 

_ “Kill it?” _

Changkyun rolls his eyes and aims, thinks, _ come back to me _, just before throwing the sword at the creature. The silver glints in the low light as it swings in a loop all the way across the air. It almost hits the monster straight in the face but it raises its arm to cover itself, fending against Kihyun and knocking the sword to the side, even as it mists away and reappears in Changkyun’s hand.

_ “Tough fella…” _

“Cleaver,” Changkyun grumbles, narrowed eyes on the creature. “Let’s see if Hyungwon knows what he’s talking about…” 

Changkyun swings his arm to the side, a sword now turned saw cleaver clicking itself open, longer. He pushes one foot forward and pulls the weapon back with both hands just as the monster jumps towards him. It screeches, claws pulling back so it can slam them again, and Changkyun screams something of his own as he lets himself fall forward a little and on one knee, pulling the saw up and forward in a swinging motion, digging at the creature’s rotten skin enough to splatter blood all around him.

The Cleric Hag falls just a few feet behind him, quickly turning to screech at him, blood slowly dripping from its wounds. Changkyun pushes a hand against the floor to tumble forward, turn around and swing again, aiming for the wounds he’s already made to dig even deeper. After which, he stands up and runs away, turning around to throw the cleaver as well, while the creature is distracted with his previous move.

The weapon cuts the creature’s face before it mists back into Changkyun’s hand as sword, and the creature screams so loud Changkyun’s head hurts. The monster is bleeding all over the place but still it swings its fists at the floor before it starts running towards them.

Changkyun ducks out of the way and runs, heart loud, jumping over a small metal fence and an old wood bench. When the Cleric Hag lunges, Changkyun slides himself in under the creature to swipe up at its stomach, sword behind him not to spill guts all over himself if he does manage it.

Just as he turns in his slide, knee to the floor, coat swinging over his leg and behind him, the creature turns as well. It’s more of a reflex, what makes Changkyun bring the sword up for defense, but the creature’s claw breaks through the silvery metal, splitting the sword in two.

There’s a sharp pain at Changkyun’s shoulder. When his eyes wander down, his vision focusing and unfocusing, blurring at the edges, half of the broken sword has pierced through his shoulder.

It mists, quickly, Kihyun’s face appearing in front of his, eyes wide on him. Kihyun presses his palm against the wound, looks at the blood that slowly spills onto Changkyun’s clothes. His head spins at all the crimson he sees, warmth he feels bleeding down his back.

“Gun,” he gasps, taking the hand Kihyun’s got pressed to him and watching as Kihyun mists himself close to his hand, quickly turning into a black gun with golden decorations. Changkyun tries not to let himself fall to his ass, up on his knees when he aims the first shot at the creature, struggling to aim, just keeps shooting at the mass.

_ “Throw me.” _

Changkyun stumbles, and just chucks the weapon in his hand with all the strength he has, screaming a little at the pain of moving like that. He barely sees the glint of the spear that speeds through the air and pierces through the creature’s skull. But the monster stops moving, slowly collapsing onto the floor, deflating when its blood swirls up and mixes with the mist in the air.

Changkyun hears Kihyun run closer before he sees him, feels his hand on his face before his eyes focus on him.

“You’ll be alright,” Kihyun mumbles, holding Changkyun closer and pulling him just enough so he can lean against a big boulder nearby, and Changkyun grunts a little when he falls back onto it. “Just rest for a moment…”

“That is not--” Changkyun groans but snorts, pressing a hand against the still bleeding but healing wound. “How I wanted you inside me.”

Kihyun huffs a laugh. “Luckily for you, I don’t like wasting,” he says, looking down when every bit of blood that has spilled from Changkyun’s wound so far swirls up and between Kihyun’s fingers, like it’s dancing over his skin. “I’ll take it as advanced payment.” 

Changkyun laughs and winces. “Don’t tell Hyungwon I got stabbed, he’ll be smug...” He glances to Kihyun, though. “Are you okay?”

Kihyun raises an eyebrow. “You’re the one who got hurt and you’re asking _ me _ if I’m _ okay?” _

“You literally snapped in half, Kihyun, it’s not _ entirely _ irrational.”

“The sword did, not me,” Kihyun mumbles. “Although… that hurt,” he grumbles, looking back to glare at the monster’s corpse. “Either way,” he stands up and looks around. “Stay here, I’ll look for the weapon Hyungwon mentioned.”

For some reason, Changkyun’s stomach lurches a bit. “No, wait--” he says, before biting at his lip, wide eyes on Kihyun, who frowns at him. 

“What…?”

Immediately, Changkyun feels stupid, shakes his head and sits up. “Nothing, it’s fine. Go get the thing.”

Kihyun tilts his head as if in confusion but then smiles a little and looks away, mists away with the soft breezes that pushes into the chapel through a broken window.

Without the gross monster? This place could actually be nice. But outside, past these walls, the wind howls, the weeping souls still echo and the forest still cries.

The pain on Changkyun’s shoulder slowly numbs into a sting that comes and goes. There’s no more blood, not even on his clothes. And when he blinks, on his lap, a sword appears. It’s not as long as the previous one, something closer to a dagger, all of it now made of metal and twisting in two different blades that intertwine.

_ “It’s a trick weapon. It turns into dual wield.” _

“Huh,” Changkyun blinks. “That’s really cool. Daggers?”

_ “A sword turned dagger.” _

“Show me?”

There’s a clink and the two blades that intertwine separate, one glinting a little golden and the other in a silvery tone.

“Shit, that’s gorgeous,” Changkyun says, picking up one of the daggers and smiling softly. “I think I’ve stopped bleeding…”

_ “Let’s go back, then? The night is young. We can play around for a bit.” _

“Sure. Let’s check if I can get stabbed again,” Changkyun chuckles, starts pushing himself up.

_ “You joke… But you scared me for a moment there.” _

Changkyun smiles, connecting the daggers again. “Well… You _ are _the only thing that can kill me.”

_ “I’d rather not do it so prematurely.” _

“I’d hope so.”

Changkyun’s steps echo through the chapel as he walks, and he only stops to pick up his Hunter hat. But just before he exits through the broken wooden door a whisper reaches his ears;

_ “Forgive… us, who have si...sinned… Beware of God’s blood. Beware... the Grey...” _

Changkyun whips around, eyes wide. A ghost-like figure stands in the middle of the church, old Hunter garbs, a hat like the one Changkyun has now. It bows and then slowly fades aways in little sparks that float closer and meld with the blade on Changkyun’s hand.

And Changkyun stares at the place the ghost had been, heart loud in his chest. 

“God’s blood…” Changkyun swallows. _ I’ve never seen a ghost before _...

_ “I feel slightly insulted.” _

“You’re a wish, not a ghost,” Changkyun says, turning away, mouth dry and heart just… stupid loud.

_ “Sometimes, wishes remain like ripples in a lake. These woods are filled with wraiths. Fragments. Echoes. There’s power here, which allows them to stay. Maybe some of that power fed that beast, that Hunter, and allowed him to linger a moment longer. An echo. Just slightly more powerful than a simple wraith.” _

“You’re always absorbing souls through the blood, I’m just… Seeing a soul like that is unnerving.”

_ “Scared, Daisy flower?” _

Changkyun rolls his eyes. “I guess I really am stuck with that nickname until I die.”

_ “Do you even know what it means?” _

“What, the flower? No…”

_ “Innocence. Purity. True love.” _

Changkyun blinks, frowning at the front door to the building before stepping out. “I’m… none of those things.”

_ “You’re not tainted, so your blood is pure. You didn’t know the truth, only the lie, so you’re innocent when it comes to that. And despite everything, you’ve always been surrounded by people who care for you. They say there’s nothing purer than a mother’s love. Can’t say much about that, though. Mine wasn’t the loving type.” _

“Clearly,” Changkyun says, stepping into the Wailing Woods again. “What kind of flower are you, then? Beautiful but thorny like a rose?”

_ “A black rose. Or an aconite. But black rose seems more fitting.” _

“A daisy flower and a black rose. Quite the pair.”

_ “Arrangement.” _

“A bloody bouquet.”

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  


“What do you mean?” Hyungwon asks, frowning. He lowers his copper mug filled with coffee and gives Changkyun a look. “God’s blood? It’s probably a metaphor or something.”

“What if it’s not, though?” Changkyun says, wrapping his hands around the cup. It’s warm. “It has to be something powerful. If not God, then something they believe to be God.”

Hyungwon looks down. “If… If that is true then… the implications…”

Changkyun bites at his lip. “Yeah, I know.”

“How… What do you intend to do?”

“Cut it off at the source, I guess? Find whatever this thing is.”

“You mean,” Hyungwon scoffs, “Burst into White Cathedral and cause a ruckus?” 

“Well,” Changkyun takes a sip. “That _ does _sound like fun, not going to lie to you.”

Hyungwon frowns a little playfully. “Don’t get cocky… You’ve been on the winning side of the flipping coin. You don’t want it to flip the other way around.”

Changkyun scoffs, “Yeah, you’re telling me,” Changkyun says because really, there was no way to _ hide _the fact that he got stabbed. There was a hole in his clothes and a fading scar on his skin, people tend to ask questions.

Hyungwon rolls his eyes and glances at the door. The curtains are tied to the side, so they can see Arrate cleaning one of the shelves. She does it every two days, there’s no way they’ll gather dust in so little time, but she seems to have fun.

“I’ve been… wondering though, y’know… All this time, we’ve been told ‘hunt the beasts, save the people, do the Hunter’s job’... but…” Hyungwon sighs, “Are we really saving the people when they’re the beasts we kill? When this is over… how many of us will be left untouched?”

“Enough to start over,” Changkyun says, looking up. It’s what Kihyun had said. It wouldn’t be pretty, it would be a sacrifice, it would be… a lot. It makes Changkyun’s stomach twist uncomfortably, but he knows what it will take.

Kitty comes running (more like bouncing) down the stairs and hisses when Kihyun mists in front of her with a soft “Boo!”, making the cat run under a shelf. Changkyun rolls his eyes and bends down, calling softly for the cat.

“Come here, baby,” he coos, snapping his fingers.

Kihyun blinks up and frowns. “Hm...?”

Hyungwon brings his mug up and sips _ loudly _ at his coffee, Changkyun flushing a little. It’s more of a slurping sound than actual sipping.

The cat peeks out, though, stares with big eyes at Changkyun. Great, now Hyungwon knows he called his demon-ghost weapon ‘baby’ once. Not that it matters; he’s definitely going to do it again.

_ Later. Right now, no… You might turn into a morning star again. _

Kihyun opens his mouth to say something but the voices of people walking into the shop stop him. His eyes turn a little sharp and he snaps them towards the door.

“Good morning,” someone says.

Arrate looks back over her shoulder and then looks at Hyungwon and Changkyun with wide eyes.

“Good morning,” Minhyuk says, “What brings two men of the Church into my humble shop?”

_ Oh, shit. _

“We’re here simply to take a look around,” another man says. “A few of our Hunters are missing and there’s a man on the run. A mass murderer. Have you perhaps seen anyone who looks like this?”

_ Don’t do anything. I don’t want Minhyuk to lose his shop _.

Kihyun scowls at the door before slowly misting away and through an open window.

“No,” Minhyuk says, “Can’t say I have. Who’s he?”

“The youngest Prince of Aureum,” a man says.

“The Prince?” Minhyuk gasps. “He… Wait. What?”

Hyungwon reaches for Changkyun’s arm and lightly pulls at him, tipping his head towards a door at the back of the room, Changkyun silently following. The door leads into a smaller room that leads into an underground passage. Hyungwon pulls Changkyun closer and then lets him walk in front of him.

“It’s safe, don’t worry,” Hyungwon whispers. “I’ve used it before.”

“Where does it lead?”

“To beefie toast guy’s house,” Hyungwon mumbles. “He makes the weapons Minhyuk sells. Every Hunter weapon you’ve held? His work.”

“Beefie… Toast guy. Do you just collect muscled men, Hyungwon?”

“Yes.”

“Good to know,” Changkyun scoffs. 

“Do you just collect bloodthirsty men, Changkyun? Because there are quite a few chasing your ass and one most likely _ in _ your ass.”

“Funny,” Changkyun says.

The tunnel goes down and then up. Hyungwon knocks on the wooden door and waits, glancing back at the tunnel over his shoulder every now and then.

When the door clicks open, after a few sounds of locks being undone, Changkyun finally realizes what Hyungwon meant, because he finds himself staring at a tanned, muscled man, whose skin reflects the light in the room with how it’s coated with sweat.

“Trouble in paradise?” the man asks, stepping aside to let them pass. 

“It’s one of those things you’d rather not know,” Hyungwon groans, pushing Changkyun into the house. It’s a blacksmith. “Least to say I was having coffee and now I’ve been interrupted.”

“I can get you some,” the man nods, glances at the tunnel and then closes the door. “Does your friend want something, too?”

Changkyun blinks. “He said… something about toast?” 

The man turns around and smiles. “Of course.” He gestures towards a door. “The kitchens are that way. I’m Hyunwoo, by the way. But everyone calls me Shownu.”

Shiny Shownu. 

“I’m Changkyun, it’s nice to meet you.”

“I know who you are,” Shownu chuckles, walks towards the door to the kitchen and opens it, gesturing for Changkyun and Hyungwon to pass, which they do. “The hair gave it away. That and the wanted posters the Church has been passing around these days. You’re more famous than ever, Your Highness.”

Changkyun pulls his lips into a line, sheepish. “Just, er, Changkyun is fine, er--so you don’t--? You don’t care what they’ve been saying about me?”

“Oh, he cares,” Hyungwon scoffs, walking into the kitchen and quickly picking up a slice of cake that’s already half gone. “He trusts Minhyuk to do the right thing. And… me?” Hyungwon looks back, stuffs the whole slice into his mouth.

“I’ll trust my friends over any form of government,” Shownu nods.

“I hope that includes the monarchy,” Changkyun teases, edging carefully along the kitchen towards the cake like he has to sneak up on the thing. He hasn’t had _ cake _ in _ so long _.

“Especially the monarchy,” Shownu teases, gestures at the counter where a few cups lay around. “You can use those, they’re washed. There’s coffee in that jar,” he says, points at said jar and starts backtracking towards the door. “I’ll get back to work. Try not to eat everything in this place.”

Changkyun pauses, hand up to take some cake before looking at Hyungwon. “He was talking about you.”

“Obviously,” Hyungwon scoffs, quickly picking up another slice and Changkyun slaps his hand, takes the cake and rushes out before Hyungwon can fight back, cackling a little. 

The small things in life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now playing: Take Me by Brandon Campbell & Tamin Djawadi.
> 
> [Youtube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9UfyD8JqJA) / [Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/4SRhvigmUwWw7JP2iCG3Ny?si=N4i_tXRxSL-XcQ33MjLG8w)


	8. Age Quod Agis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not everything needs words, or explanations. Not everything needs feelings dissected and laid out bare, not when everything feels like this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Age Quod Agis - Keep Going, Because You Are Inspired Or Dedicated To Do So

_ “There is nothing like wounded affection for giving poignancy to anger.” _

Elizabeth Gaskell

_ _ _ _

“So?” Shownu asks, arms crossed over the counter, a cocky smile pasted onto his face. “How do you like your new Hunter armor?”

Honestly, Shownu has every single right to be cocky. 

“It’s awesome!” Changkyun enthuses, turning a little to make the cape swish a little; it looks like it’s made of feathers, crow feathers. “There’s actual armor, I’ve been running around in clothes I got _ before _I needed to go out and kill monsters, this is… It looks so cool!” Changkyun jumps a little in excitement, looking down at his pants and shoes.

“Good,” Shownu says, one hand slowly reaching under the counter. “Now, as for your weapon. You mentioned you’ve got good aim. But aim won’t get you very far with some of the creatures out there...” 

“I know, it’s why I’ve got the--” Changkyun makes vague, swishy movements with his hand.

“Right, so you’ve mentioned. So, I’ve been working on this for the past two nights.” 

Shownu brings up something that looks like a rapier that doubles as a firearm. _ A trick weapon? _

“The Reiterpallasch,” Shownu calls it, “Good for piercing attacks, though it lacks the top range that, er, say… a Rifle Spear has.” He holds it up for Changkyun to see. “It’s quick though, as expected of a rapier, and it transforms rather quickly, like so,” the weapon clicks and its metal bulk slides forward, opening the barrel of a gun that clings to the blade. “You can still use the blade for slashing, in case the guy you’re firing at gets too close or you simply want to bleed him out.”

The word ‘Reiterpallasch’ just makes Changkyun think of a particularly bad sneeze, but this looks _ really _cool, and Shownu can certainly tell with how Changkyun gapes when he reaches out for it. 

_ Do you like it? _

Mist curls around Changkyun’s wrist, slowly circling around the weapon. Shownu doesn’t seem to notice the mist, or the way the weapon glows a little brighter now. If he does, he doesn’t comment on it.

_ “I like it.” _

“Thank you,” Changkyun smiles wide at Shownu, before it immediately falters. “I can’t pay you right now...”

Shownu blinks and then shrugs. “Hm, it’s fine.” He glances to the side. “You could do me a favor, though? In return…”

Changkyun nods, fast, adamant. “Of course! What do you need?”

“Well, outside the city there’s an old coal mine,” Shownu says, straightening up and looking at Changkyun. “It’s a bit dangerous. It’s been closed for years and it’s probably crawling with monsters. But they used to bring out entire carts of silverite, which… I’ve recently ran out of. I used to ask Hyungwon, but he’s out of the hunting business now, so…”

“Sounds creepy, but sure, love me a monster infested coal mine,” Changkyun smiles.

“Alright,” Shownu huffs, smiling back. He reaches into his pocket and brings out a couple of silver bullets. “Have fun?”

_ “I just need to consume one and you’ll have an infinite number of bullets to use.” _

_ Handy _, Changkyun thinks, rolling the bullets on his palm before putting them into the gun. “Silverite. It’s easy to spot, I assume?”

Shownu nods. “White silvery stone with blue highlights, shines like a diamond and it’s pretty.”

“Bag I could borrow?”

“There,” Shownu points at a big sack hanging on the wall. Changkyun takes it and gives a wave before he heads out. 

The sun hasn’t set yet, so there are people in the streets, talking and laughing amongst themselves even as they rush to get home. People carry bags filled with food and smile. Little children hold onto their mothers’ hands. It’s in moments like these that Changkyun can almost forget the world they’re in, but it’s moments like these that also inspire him to save it. 

Everyone is gone by the time the bells ring, and Changkyun strolls past a ‘DO NOT ENTER’ sign like he can’t read. It’s a gaping hole in the mountain. At first, the cavern is dark, nothing but the faint mining track for Changkyun to follow.

He clicks his fingers to light a few flares and he’s glad he did when he looks around a few miles in and notices the chasm on his right. And it’s not like the crunch under his feet sounds like he’s walking on tiny bones. He knows it’s just gravel. But that deep chasm into the darkness? It looks like a mouth, ready to swallow him whole.

_ “Watch your step? Can’t save a fool.” _

“You can’t magically turn into a safety net?” Changkyun teases, conjuring a flame to his hand to see better. “Disappointing.”

_ “Get me a grappling gun and we’ll talk.” _

“Not a bad idea, actually,” Changkyun hums, looking around. There are unlit torches periodically scattered around the mine, so he lights them, keeping an eye on the chasm. “I’m clumsy sometimes.”

When he lights one of the last torches he can see nearby, though, a chorus of tiny screeches echoes; bats, clearly panicking, turn into a living hurricane of flurry black skin stretched over bone. They swoop, moving more like liquid than a flock and Changkyun can’t help the inner panic, bringing his arms up over his head as he crouches down into a little ball. 

A warm mist surrounds him and then thumps a little, a few bats falling dead around him before the rest of the flock flies away towards the deep chasm.

Changkyun lifts his head, shivers where he’s crouched, glancing around.

“It’s a myth that vampires turn into bats, right?” Changkyun asks, slowly standing up.

_ “I wish they’d turn into bats…” _

Changkyun laughs, surprised, but shakes off the uneasy feeling this mine gives him and keeps walking. “What? Why?”

_ “They’re ugly. They trick you with good looks and a human form and then turn into… I don’t know what they turn into, really, but it’s ugly. I digress… They turn into ugly things and suck you dry. And not in the way you like, no.” _

“I was _ just _about to ask,” Changkyun scoffs, looking around for anything shiny. That’s generally something he likes to do but now there’s a point to it. 

_ “Do keep an eye out, though. They don’t turn into bats but… Bats quite like their company.” _

“Noted,” Changkyun mumbles, readjusts the sack he has slung over his shoulder. His first ‘job’ had been a vampire. That poor girl’s mother. He tries not to think about it. 

Every small sound echoes, and Changkyun watches the wooden scaffolding carefully, but swears he hears it creak. It’s good, he thinks, that he was the one to pick up that dagger instead of Jooheon. For many, _ many _reasons (including how surprisingly attached he’s gotten to Kihyun) but mostly that Jooheon would hate this. He would hate all of it, he’d be scared all the time…

It’s only been a few days, but Changkyun really misses his silly best friend.

_ “Stop giving me heart twinges. I don’t even have a heart...” _

Changkyun winces. _ You can feel that? Sorry. _

_ “Basic emotions, fear, happiness, sadness, anger… Those cross over, in a way.” _

_ But you don’t feel them in the same way. _

_ “Very few things scare me these days. And most of my emotions, if they can be called emotions, are associated to you. I can discern when it’s not me who’s going through something. Mostly by process of elimination. If I feel them the same way or not… I don’t know. I don’t think I do, though. They’re… faint.” _

Changkyun frowns. _ You’ve not been happy at all? Even for a moment? _

_ “Sometimes. With you. At least I think that must have been it… I’m not sure.” _

Changkyun smiles. _ Good enough for me _.

The cave echoes, then, with the sound of a growl that clicks a little, like a bug’s, Changkyun looking around. There are so many shadows, unlit parts of this place, it could have come from any of them.

_ “I called it.” _

Ahead, something glints in the darkness.

_ Hyungwon said to decapitate vampires _, Changkyun thinks, like he’s reminding himself, unsheathing Kihyun from his side, the classic wakizashi he’s so used to now.

He knows now that in their natural form, vampires have many bat-like traits. But he still doesn’t expect what he gets when he hears a pebble tumble behind him and turns to find something large and monstrous crawling towards him.

It would have caught him if he hadn’t turned around.

The creature’s claws are really, really long. _ Too long. _

_ “Size doesn’t matter when you have skill,” _ Kihyun whispers around the air (Changkyun scoffs a little because-- _ well _ ), the sword in Changkyun’s hand turning into a saw cleaver. _ “This might come in handy for now.” _

Changkyun looks at the cleaver, at the vampire’s neck, and swings hard. The creature ducks, though, and then jumps to the ceiling making a shriek that ends with a few clicks.

In a blink of an eye, the vampire vanishes in the shadows.

_ “Seriously…” _ The saw cleaver in Changkyun’s hand mists and the mist envelops him. _ “Just in case…” _

“Let’s just… walk slowly…” Changkyun swallows, eyes glancing everywhere and heart loud even though he knows this mist--Kihyun--will always protect him.

The clicking sounds don’t stop, and Changkyun feels like he’s being watched, knows he definitely is. He keeps walking, Kihyun’s mist clinging to him like a cloak. Shivers run down his spine, though, when something breathes on his neck.

It’s a split second, a sound that sends his heart up to his throat. The mist around Changkyun flows back like it’s being magnetically attracted to one single spot, the piercing sound of metal through flesh, and the shriek in Changkyun’s ear makes his ears ring.

He turns, eyes wide, and sees the vampire jump back, a sword stuck in its lower abdomen.

Changkyun reaches for the sword’s hilt, twists it inside the vampire before yanking it out, screaming a little when it lunges again, Changkyun instinctively swiping the sword up across its face. 

Again, the creature vanishes into the shadows, and the darkness seems to press in.

_ “You _ are _ not _ like… _ the _ others,” a clicking voice says, makes the hair on Changkyun’s arms stand up. _ “I _ sense _ kin _ within _ you. _ That _ weapon _ of _ yours...” _

“Is going to kill you,” Changkyun grumbles, pushing himself up and pointing the sword at the darkness.

“Murderer _ you _ are,” the clicking voice says. _ “How _ am _ I _ any different _ from you?” _

_ “I’d start with the body hair,” _ Kihyun’s voice whispers. _ “Then maybe mention the bat ears and… those nails.” _

Changkyun scoffs--_ stop making me laugh in the face of a vampire _ \--and yelps when he sees those nails reach out of the darkness to scratch at him, and be quickly ducks out of the way. _ Too close too close too close--my face! _

_ “You _ want _ to _ kill _ me _ because _ I _ kill _ to _ survive. _ How _ so _ very _ human _ of _you.”

“Thanks,” Changkyun breathes, breaths a little fast. He’s scared. And when there’s a rush of air that comes from movement, and the torches Changkyun has lit, extinguish. Changkyun panics and shoots a flame from his hand in a random direction for light, seeing the flash of a ghastly face. So, he keeps the flame on his hand but… but he can’t see past it, not much. And the darkness is thick somehow, pressing in. 

Oh god.

Something clicks close by. _ “You _ will _ let _ him _ drink _ my _ soul _ but _ won’t _ let _ me _ drink _ yours.” _

Changkyuns swings towards the click, doesn’t hit anything. “I don’t have to explain myself to you, vampire,” Changkyun says, voice steadier than he thought it would be.

“Hypocrite, _ humans, _ all of _ you!” _

Kihyun mists himself again and covers Changkyun from his head to the tip of his boots. There’s a ghost-like touch, lingering just a little over Changkyun’s cheek, and then the mist pulls down, a spear appearing just in time to pierce through the vampire’s arm, claws that were reaching out for Changkyun’s leg.

The creature screams and contorts, but the spear is stuck to the ground, keeping it there.

Changkyun kicks at the creature’s head, before stomping on it with his boot, again and again and again. It shrieks, but the sound starts to change, until it’s just a woman, naked, hair long and blonde, eyes filled with hatred when she glances up at Changkyun.

He freezes, stumbling back with wide eyes. Her face--a _ human face! _ \--is bloody--because of _ him _\--and he just stares.

_ “See?” _ the woman hisses, “We’re not so different…”

“I--” Changkyun stutters. “You hunt people, you kill them, I can’t--”

“You hunt us,” the woman grins, something wicked. “You _ kill _ us. Except you don’t need to kill us. I need blood to survive.” She glances at the spear still stuck in her arm and glares. “Take it… and just end it. I am dead anyway...”

“Wai--”

The spear mists and an axe falls, cutting off her head, which rolls to the side, eyes blinking before they just stay open, staring into the void, greying.

Changkyun feels himself taking shallow breaths, hands shaking and stomach turning. In death, she looks completely human.

“Find the silverite,” Changkyun says, as he looks away, heart heavy in his chest. “We’re leaving.”

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  


Changkyun gives Shownu the silverite Kihyun found, but he doesn’t linger. It smells like fresh bread, but Changyun’s stomach won’t settle. He tells Minhyuk he doesn’t want to eat, walks past Hyungwon, and the moment he’s in his room, he slides down the door and sits there, staring at nothing.

He has no idea what to think. It was easy when monsters were just that… monsters. When monsters looked as evil as they were.

_ “What’s wrong?” _ Kihyun’s voice whispers around him, and Changkyun winces, remembers the way the woman’s head rolled. 

“Not like you would understand if I told you…” Changkyun mutters.

Kihyun mists into himself, sitting on the floor in front of Changkyun, legs crossed. “What do you mean?” Kihyun asks, frowning a little, eyes searching Changkyun’s face.

“You just--you just _ killed _ her,” Changkyun says, feeling the anger boil within him. He doesn’t even know _ why _, but he frowns at Kihyun. “You didn’t even hesitate.”

Kihyun raises an eyebrow. “Okay…? And why are you upset about it?”

“I--” Changkyun says, huffs a bitter laugh and shakes his head. “I think I expected better from you?”

Kihyun blinks, both eyebrows climbing on his forehead, this time. “You… Huh?” He frowns. “What do you _ mean _ you expected better?”

“_ God _,” Changkyun groans, standing up and walking away, undoing his coat with hands that pull harder than they should. He’s angry and doesn’t know what to think and he knows he should shut up but the words just come. “Maybe I really am just a fucking idiot…”

“You’re sounding like one right now,” Kihyun mumbles as he seems to stand up.

Changkyun whips around, suddenly furious. “And you’re fucking heartless. And yeah, go on about how you _ don’t have a heart _ , I don’t fucking care, but _ fuck _, Kihyun, you can’t just--”

“What.” Kihyun says then, his eyes, which had widened a little, growing a little cold as he glares. “I can’t just _ what. _ Kill? Hilarious.”

“You are letting them _ win _,” Changkyun says. “Those people who turned you into a mindless weapon, well fucking done, they did it.”

Kihyun opens his mouth to say something but then looks away, mumbles instead, “I thought you knew that already.”

“Stop it, stop--Stop pretending that you don’t _ feel _ things, Kihyun,” Changkyun says, almost pleading. Because he has to. He _ has to _. 

Right?

“Pretending…” Kihyun mumbles. “Right.”

“I’ve seen you,” Changkyun says, and he’s not sure what he’s pleading for, not really. “I’ve seen you laugh, held you when you were crying, and still you _ insist _\--”

“You think,” Kihyun glares over, “That because--That because I opened up to you, you think that it gives you the right to turn me into your project? Because if you--If you do, then you’re no better than _ them.” _

“That’s not what I’m doing! I’m not forcing you to do anything! How fucking _ dare _you say that to me! Don’t compare me to those people, don’t even dare!”

“You’re this upset over a vampire,” Kihyun mumbles, “What about everyone else? Is it less of a monster because it can disguise itself? Am I?” The last question, he almost shouts it. “You think I care?” He looks at Changkyun, eyes a little wide. “You thought I cared? I don’t! I couldn’t care less.”

“Of course not,” Changkyun says. He’s such a fucking idiot. Kihyun never cared. Changkyun just wanted him to.

“And apparently,” Kihyun hisses, turns a little away, “Trying to only bites you in the ass later.”

“Give it a minute,” Changkyun bites, bitter. “I’m sure it’s as meaningless to you as just about everything else.”

Kihyun’s eyes snap to him and glare. “Fine,” he says. “I guess I can just leave, then.”

“I guess you can.”

Kihyun scoffs a laugh that sounds bitter and turns away, mists away and floats around for a moment before dissipating. 

Changkyun glares at the air, throwing his coat at it like Kihyun will feel it and huffs, sitting down on the bed and--

And it feels like ice water being dumped over his head. And it doesn’t surprise him, it can’t, he’s felt it before, but…

Immediately, he’s terrified. 

It’s still dark outside, and he can hear a wailing in the distance, of a werewolf, a hag, he doesn’t know. But suddenly he’s alone, terrified, and he realises, far too late, that he was emotional, mad and misplaced it, and so very, very _ wrong _.

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  


There’s a knock at the door, but Changkyun barely stirs from where he’s bundled up in the bedsheets. He hasn’t moved in hours, barely noticed the day pass and the night begin, didn’t even hear the bells.

“Changkyun,” Arrate calls from the corridor, “Is everything alright?”

“I’m fine,” Changkyun says, so she’ll leave him alone.

“Alright… I, uhm, I made dinner, in case you’re hungry. So… I’ll just leave it here. Rest well.”

Changkyun thinks of saying ‘thanks’, but by the time he thinks of saying it out loud, she’s already gone. He does the effort of taking the food (she’ll be sad if he doesn’t) but doesn’t eat it. It looks delicious to his eyes, but his stomach just doesn’t agree.

He sleeps through most of the night, waking at the sounds he hears come through the window. It’s glass, barred outside, incense hanging by the side and burning into the air, but everything still looks like nothing but a paper-thin wall between life and death, between this and the nightmare outside.

A human scream echoes through the night. And inside, it’s far too quiet. No voice in his head anymore, no warm body to comfort him as his chest constricts so violently at another scream outside that he runs out of breath, has to catch up to find it again.

And that’s barely all, isn’t it? It’s not just that he knows he can’t do this alone, but that he just wants to say _ sorry _. That he’s just so, so sorry.

He tries to keep himself from thinking too much, or say, in anything louder than a whisper, “_ Please come back _…”

But Kihyun doesn’t come. Not during the night, not in the morning. Changkyun knows that, because he doesn’t sleep until the sun has been in the sky for hours the next day.

  
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  


A knock at the door. Changkyun opens his eyes and it’s night again.

“Hey, Changkyun,” Minhyuk calls, knocks at the door again, “Are you in there?”

He’s exhausted, but he pushes himself out of bed and answers the door, aware that he looks like shit. “Hey.”

Minhyuk blinks, confused for a moment before affliction returns to his features. “Hey. Er… It’s… It’s Arrate. It’s been an hour past the bells. She’s not back yet…”

Changkyun’s stomach drops. “Oh god…” He looks back around, like Kihyun will be back, like Changkyun can finally apologise for being an emotional idiot. “I can’t...”

“What…” Minhyuk smiles small. For some reason, it just makes Changkyun feel worse. “What do you mean you can’t…?”

Changkyun swallows, eyes wide and burning when they look back to Minhyuk. “The only reason I could be a Hunter was because of my weapon, and he’s--” Changkyun pushes past Minhyuk to rush down the stairs. “Where’s Hyungwon?”

“Not here,” Minhyuk says as he rushes after Changkyun. “I thought he might be at Shownu’s, but he wasn’t. I wonder if… he’s with her? I don’t know… I’m worried.”

Changkyun is panicking, he knows he is. He’s barely dressed and he’s practically throwing himself over the counter to find a weapon, even as his heart beats loud in his ears. Even if he dies, he needs to do _ something _, right? 

But his hands shake so much he can’t hold the sword.

“Hey, hey,” Minhyuk says, reaching over and grabbing Changkyun’s wrist, taking the sword from his hand, “It’s… Shit, you look like hell. It’s fine, we’ll…” He brings his hands to Changkyun’s shoulders and shakes him a little. “We’ll wait and we’ll look for her first thing in the morning, alright...? She’s smart. She’ll hide and she’ll… she’ll be fine.”

Changkyun’s breaths are too shallow, it feels like he’s not breathing at all, and he shakes his head. “There’s so much out there, I…” _ Kihyun… Please… _

“Hey, I don’t…” Minhyuk sighs. “I don’t know what happened to you but… I get it. It’s alright, just… God--” Minhyuk pulls Changkyun into a hug. “Just calm down, hot shot. No use you dying, too.”

Changkyun laughs, but it hurts, somewhere in his stomach, his chest, so he just squeezes back and breathes. If Arrate dies, it’s because of this stupid fucking argument. He could have saved her, god, _ god _, please don’t die...

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  


Minhyuk doesn’t sleep, and neither does Changkyun. Shownu joins them at some point during the night, brings food and drinks--wine--and just places things around so they can eat if they feel like it.

It’s the longest night Changkyun has gone through. It’s like time isn’t moving, flowing, whatever it is time does. He worries, he stresses and tries to hold it in, tries to mask the guilt even though he’s certain Minhyuk feels something akin to guilt, too. But most of all, Changkyun wonders if they blame him, deep down, because he couldn’t do what he’s supposed to do.

When the bells ring, Minhyuk startles and Shownu raises his head. Outside, the sky is turning into a light blue, a few pinks sticking to the clouds. They wait for the song of the bells to be over, for the last echo. But in the midst of it, there’s a knock at the door.

Minhyuk rushes over and the others follow. He looks through the latch and breathes the most relieved, “Thank God,” Changkyun has ever heard, before he undoes the locks at an impressive speed, opens the door and immediately crushes Arrate into a hug.

“So--Sorry,” she says, laughs a little, eyes obviously puffy. “I had to hide and wait for the bells. Couldn’t risk you opening the door in the middle of the night.”

“You’re alive,” Changkyun breathes, heart in his throat, even more so when he sees the figure behind Arrate, a few feet back. Because, of course, he’s the only one who can. His eyes water and he rushes forward as well, gathering Arrate up in his arms the moment Minhyuk lets go and thinks, louder than anything before, _ thank you _.

The first rays shine through the street, but Kihyun slowly mists away before the light catches him, eyes lingering on Changkyun before they’re gone, too.

Changkyun gives Arrate another squeeze, says, “The food was great,” kisses her on the forehead, and rushes back up the stairs to his room. He closes the door behind him and looks around, doesn’t see a sword, or Kihyun. His heart tightens for a second. Did he leave again?

“Ki?” Changkyun asks, looking around, hands wringing and eyes still leaking. “I’m sorry I said those things… I really am,” he says, sniffs. “I wasn’t thinking straight and I shouldn’t have said it, I didn’t mean it, I don’t know what I was doing…”

The air around him stays still. Outside, the sun finally lifts over the buildings, just enough to shine a little brighter.

“I said I wouldn’t try to change you,” Changkyun says, probably just to an empty room, but he’s glad to finally cry. “And I wasn’t, I just… I think I just wanted you to care about me and I was worried that...” Changkyun says, voice small as he stands there and cries. “It’s selfish, but I do, because… I’m kinda useless, you know?” Changkyun laughs, wiping at his face. “I just… wanted to mean more to you than a hand that wields a weapon. And I just got scared--”

“You think I stayed because that’s all that you are?”

Changkyun whips around to the sound of Kihyun’s voice, eyes (still having before been relatively under control) spilling when he sees him and for the first time, he feels safe.

“I might not care about the fate of the world and the people in it,” Kihyun says, eyes cold but on Changkyun’s, “I might be nothing but a spectator, watching it unfold until it ends once and for all. But… I care about two things in particular. One, keeping you alive. Two, making you smile, because apparently that means something to me. So, don’t presume to know me just because you can touch me. I’d trade your touch in a blink of an eye if I thought it meant nothing.” Kihyun glares a little. “And… caring about those two things means caring about the people you care about, even though they don’t mean anything to me. Excuse me for not giving _ a shit _ about some headless vampire who wouldn’t have spared you if you had begged on your knees.”

Changkyun’s bottom lip trembles and he nods, feels so _ small _. “I know, I’m sorry, the thing, the vampire got into my head and--Please don’t leave me again,” Changkyun sobs, hands up his mouth. “I was so scared...”

"I know," Kihyun says, looks down and frowns. "I felt it. Made me wonder if that's why you care... Because I keep you safe…"

“I didn’t want you back because of what you are,” Changkyun sniffs. “I just wanted you to hold me again...”

Kihyun blinks up and then sighs, glances away and gives the small step back he needs to lean against the wall, close to the window. "I killed a werewolf on my own."

Changkyun looks down, thumb pressing into the soft flesh of his hand as he sniffs. “Was it fun?”

"At first. But then Arrate couldn't hear me brag so it got boring pretty quickly."

Changkyun smiles, has to bite his lip so it doesn’t pout again. “I guess I have some advantages…”

"A few. One being that I like you."

Changkyun’s eyes snap up to him. “I… I don’t know how you mean that,” Changkyun says softly, hopefully, even.

Kihyun blinks at the air and then frowns softly. "How… many different meanings does it have…?"

Changkyun smiles, thinking, “Well, there’s, uhm… There’s the way I like Jooheon. Or Minhyuk or Hyungwon and… then there’s the way… Jooheon likes me? No, ugh, that sounds bad, I meant--” Changkyun huffs, a little frustrated at himself. “Romantically or platonically.”

"Which one includes touching you?"

Changkyun blushes. “Romantically… It’s the way lovers like each other…”

"So…" Kihyun frowns a little more. "Like mother and father did… No. That was… different, too." He looks at Changkyun and then down. "Romantically, then. I like you romantically."

Changkyun swallows, face red. “It’s not _ that _different,” he says, laughs a little nervously. “Sorry, I just… I’m happy you’re back and then you say that and--” he puts a hand to his chest, heart beating fast.

Kihyun blinks up and seems a little confused. "Should I not have said that?"

“If you meant it, you should say it,” Changkyun smiles, gripping lightly at his shirt.

"Why would I say something that I don't mean…? You're making no sense."

Changkyun sniffs and laughs, nodding as he walks a little closer. “Can you show me?”

"Show you…?"

“That you _ like me romantically _,” Changkyun says and giggles. Because he’s just so relieved, so happy Kihyun is back. 

Kihyun blinks and then leans away from the wall, misting himself and flowing closer.

There's just mist and then there's a touch, something brushing against Changkyun's lips, before Changkyun can see Kihyun in front of him again, leaning in, lips pressed to his.

Kihyun leans back just enough to look at him and then leans in again to kiss his cheek, and then his forehead, where he lingers a moment longer. 

“I missed you,” Changkyun says, pouting.

"Is that why there are chasms under your eyes?" Kihyun mumbles against Changkyun's forehead, kissing him again before leaning back and making a face at him. "Because you're starting to look like one of them creatures of the night."

“Couldn’t sleep without you,” Changkyun pouts. He’s been pouting for a while, but honestly, he’s tired, and whatever Kihyun had meant? It made him soft. 

Kihyun’s eyes shift on Changkyun’s face. “Do you want to sleep now?”

Changkyun licks his lips, leaning forward to sort of just fall onto Kihyun and cling. “We can go to bed but I just… wanna look at you.”

“Alright,” Kihyun breathes out before misting away, Changkyun almost tipping and falling face down. Kihyun reappears on the bed, sitting closest to the wall, legs crossed. “Come on, then,” he says, patting the empty space next to him that Changkyun doesn’t take, just climbs onto Kihyun's lap and clings, nose in his hair. 

Kihyun tips them to the side and lets himself fall onto the bed, Changkyun falling with him, giggling softly and shifting to look at Kihyun’s face.

“Hey, What does ‘romantic’ mean to you?” Changkyun asks, eyes on Kihyun’s. 

Kihyun frowns, blinks. “Caring,” he says, hesitates and then leans in to kiss Changkyun’s lips, a small thing, really but it makes Changkyun smile all silly. “And that… and…” Kihyun frowns some more, looks away, up at the ceiling, “Trusting you enough, which I’m still debating whether or not is a good idea…”

“You proved to me that I can trust you,” Changkyun mumbles. “Should I do the same?”

Kihyun’s eyes move to Changkyun’s again. “No… You don’t have to ‘prove’ anything to me. It’s not… a business. They’re just feelings, which I’m not used to but still… Just feelings. So whatever yours are, that’s for you to deal with. And the same applies to me…”

Changkyun swallows, scooting a little closer for more touch, throwing a leg over Kihyun. “I am sorry, though. About everything I said…”

“It’s alright,” Kihyun mumbles, pushing his forward head so their foreheads touch. “I can’t ask you to understand certain things about me. And it’s alright if someday you think you really want me to leave. I’ll come back before you take your last breath, anyway.”

“I like that,” Changkyun smiles, brushing his nose against Kihyun’s. “It’s a constant. Honestly, I’m just… Glad it’s you. I would have hated if anyone else was this stuck to me,” Changkyun chuckles.

Kihyun smiles a little. “I’m afraid Jooheon wouldn’t have gotten me very far either. So… I’m glad it was you, too. He would have been easier to manipulate but also less of an idiot and not as much fun.”

Changkyun gapes playfully. “Oh _ no _ , you’re in my head all the time, so you’re like… an expert on whether I’m an idiot or not and you just said I _ was, oh noooo _…”

“Being an idiot is not always a bad thing, though.”

Changkyun narrows his eyes, pressing his pout to Kihyun’s lips before he whines. “But I’m noooooot. I’m a smart cookie! I could read when I was, like, four!”

Kihyun smiles small. “Did someone teach you?”

“I asked my brother a few times…” Changkyun tilts his head from side to side. “But let’s say I believe you. What’s good about being a dummy?”

“Well, idiots are also the ones brave enough or stupid enough to do what no one else will.”

“Fair,” Changkyun hums. “But I’m also smart enough to know what that thing is.”

Kihyun rolls his eyes a little, stopping halfway and pulling Changkyun closer. “Just sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up. And then we have a few things to kill.”

Changkyun lets himself nuzzle in, knows that once he closes his eyes, there won’t be a minute of consciousness available to him before he’s asleep. So, he presses forward for a lazy, sleepy kiss.

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  


It’s hazy, distant, a soft, warm touch to Changkyun’s cheek. It circles and circles and them slowly trails his skin down to his jaw, the side of neck, soothing over the curve, before it reaches the collar of his shirt and soothes back up, back to his cheek.

Changkyun smiles before he opens his eyes, shifting in the warmth of the sheets, body lazy with sleep. “Morning…”

Kihyun is looking at him, eyes taking in his face. “You mean… good night? It’s almost eight, the bells rang a while ago.”

Changkyun pouts, hands out to grab at Kihyun and pull him up and closer. “You let me sleep in? Cuuuuute.”

“Letting you sleep in… is cute?” Kihyun asks, frowning even as he lets himself be pulled.

“Shows you care,” Changkyun says, smiling sleepily up at Kihyun. “And you said the thing about caring so… Yeah. Cute.”

Kihyun makes a face and then shrugs with one shoulder. “You confuse me sometimes, but alright.”

“I assume you don’t think things are cute,” Changkyun chuckles.

“The concept seems useless to me, but I shall think on it.”

“What if I do this--” Changkyun giggles, pressing a finger to his cheek as he scrunches his face in a smile.

Kihyun blinks and narrows his eyes. “Then I’ll just want to--” he presses his lips to Changkyun’s. _ Squishy. _ It makes Changkyun giggle again-- _ good enough for me _\--and wrap his arms around him, lips moving softly against each other. 

This is _ so much better _ than waking up alone, scared of the noises outside. He shifts to bring his legs up around Kihyun, giggling against his lips. _ Mine _.

_ “You are,” _ Kihyun’s voice says around the air even though he’s still in Changkyun’s arms. 

_ How eager are you to go killing…? _

_ “Always eager. Why?” _

Changkyun grins against Kihyun’s lips, shifting to get Kihyun onto his back and sit up on Kihyun’s lap. “Gonna take a bath.” Changkyun tilts his head playfully. “Think you can keep yourself busy killing stuff until I’m done and then come back?”

Kihyun frowns. “You don’t want to come along?”

“After my bath.”

“I think I can wait…?”

“Nah,” Changkyun leans in, kiss lingering on Kihyun’s lips. How come he smells so sweet? “Go kill a werewolf and then I’ll be done...”

Kihyun’s hands move to Changkyun’s thighs and then a little up, lifting his shirt just enough to touch skin. But when they break the kiss, Kihyun lets go and mists away. _ “I’ll be quick.” _

Which means Changkyun will have to be, and rush does not a graceful movement make, as he plops off the bed and rushes to take a bath. Because Changkyun is very, very human, and most definitely has to.

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  


Kihyun mists back into the room just as Changkyun ties the robe around his waist. As usual, not a spot of blood on Kihyun. Whether he actually killed something (or someone) is for him and him alone to know. And for the first time since this idea came to mind, Changkyun blushes. 

“You’re not dressed,” Kihyun says as a matter of fact.

“No,” Changkyun agrees, walking closer, the small bottle of oil in his palm, fingers closed over it, “I’m not… Did you have fun?”

“‘Fun’ is debatable,” Kihyun says, sighs and glances aside as he walks to the bed and sits down. “Did you only finish now?” 

“Mhm,” Changkyun hums, moving the robe a little aside to straddle Kihyun, settling himself onto his lap, arms over his shoulders. “Sorry,” Changkyun says, but just grins, a little giddy.

Kihyun blinks before his gaze drops down to Changkyun’s leg, which Kihyun’s fingers waste no time waiting to touch. Just fingertips moving up the skin there, though Kihyun makes it look like it’s the most casual touch they’ve ever had, even as Changkyun’s stomach twists.

“Sorry for?” Kihyun asks.

“Taking so long,” Changkyun grins, brings a hand to Kihyun’s chin to tip it up and catch his lips in Changkyun’s own. 

Kihyun’s other hand comes up to the back of Changkyun’s head as Kihyun lets himself fall back, slowly, and brings Changkyun with him. The fingertips on Changkyun’s thigh slide all the way back to grab at his ass, Changkyun groaning softly into Kihyun's mouth as he grinds down with the touch.

“You’re not--” Kihyun mumbles against Changkyun’s lips before breaking the kiss. “You’re not planning on going anywhere any time soon, are you…?”

“That depends on you,” Changkyun says against his lips, moving the little bottle into Kihyun’s hand, who looks at it a little inquisitively. Changkyun grins again, pressing a kiss to Kihyun’s jaw. “Get rid of your clothes.”

“You first?” Kihyun asks, eyes still on the bottle that he slowly brings out of view. He looks at Changkyun. “Which… which way?”

Changkyun unties his robe, taking his arms out and just grabs for the bottle again, sitting up, ass on Kihyun’s crotch. “Like this. Now, clothes off before I do it.”

Kihyun frowns but sits up just enough to kiss Changkyun, and when Changkyun touches Kihyun again, there are no clothes in the way and he can feel Kihyun’s dick, still soft against him. Changkyun gasps a little into Kihyun’s mouth, fumbling with the bottle and looking between them, pours some over Kihyun’s soft dick before kissing him again, hand slowly stroking at him.

Kihyun actually tenses up, but moans into Changkyun’s mouth when he does, the kiss slowly becoming more heated. Changkyun can feel Kihyun get harder in his hand. And when Kihyun tips back again and pulls Changkyun with him, he takes the bottle from Changkyun.

Changkyun feels two hands on his ass before they pull him up. Kihyun bites at Changkyun’s lower lip and nibbles on it, distracting him enough to startle him when oil drips down between his asscheeks. It’s cold but Kihyun is warm, and so are his fingers when they start teasingly touching at Changkyun’s hole. Changkyun shivers and squeezes at Kihyun’s dick.

“I’m--I already--” 

“Shut up,” Kihyun mumbles, gives Changkyun one last lick into his mouth and then pushes him further up the bed, dick slipping from Changkyun’s hold.

There’s not much time to complain because then Changkyun’s dick is inside Kihyun’s mouth, even if only half hard, and Kihyun’s finger is inside him. Changkyun falls forward on his hands, looks down which--_ mistake _. The image itself makes Changkyun’s dick twitch, moaning when Kihyun gives a hard suck that pools his arousal there, wherever Kihyun is touching.

The finger inside Changkyun barely moves until it does. It starts going in and out, and circling before it pushes in again, soon joined by a much slower, much more careful second finger that brings more oil with it. And Kihyun keeps sucking, all the way to the tip before taking Changkyun in again.

Changkyun tries not to just let himself melt onto the bed, tries not to move his hips despite the occasional, small twitch he can’t really control. He moans, forehead pressed against the bed as he breathes between the sounds he makes. 

“Crook--” Changkyun gasps. “Crook your fingers...”

Kihyun does, and Changkyun crumbles. 

“_ Oh fuck… _”

Kihyun lets Changkyun's dick slip from his mouth and licks at his stomach. "Do you feel good?" Kihyun asks, voice deep and raspy, which just _ makes it worse _. 

“Yeah,” Changkyun breathes, grabbing at Kihyun’s hair to tug him up, lifting his hips until he can’t feel Kihyun’s fingers anymore.

"Your voice is nice," Kihyun mumbles, kisses Changkyun's torso on the way up and then his lips.

A… compliment. An actual, honest to everything compliment. Changkyun’s chest warms, hand grabbing at Kihyun’s shoulders as he shimmies himself down, fisting at Kihyun’s dick and lining himself up, the tip of Kihyun’s dick pressing against Changkyun’s hole.

“Say you want it,” Changkyun mumbles, eyes a little open to look into Kihyun’s. “But don’t lie...”

Kihyun opens his mouth but frowns, closes it again. But when Changkyun teases himself with the tip of Kihyun's dick again, Kihyun pushes his head back a little and groans softly.

"I want you…"

Changkyun smiles against Kihyun’s lips and relaxes, lowering himself onto Kihyun, just the tip, moaning loudly into Kihyun’s mouth, before raising his hips completely again. 

Kihyun's hands move to grip at Changkyun's thighs and when Changkyun catches his eye, Kihyun is glaring. Changkyun just grins, ducking in to lick over Kihyun’s bottom lip before lowering himself slowly, moaning as he feels Kihyun inside him.

“You feel good, baby…” Changkyun breathes.

The grip of Kihyun's hands tightens a little more. Surely, there will be bruises later. Just five presses marked into Changkyun's thighs.

"Might want to--" Kihyun sighs and Changkyun feels Kihyun get bigger inside him. "Might want to know I've never been inside anyone like this before…"

Changkyun’s heart tightens and he bottoms out, lets himself adjust around Kihyun, who just turned so tense and stiff he could be a rock. Changkyun softly kisses at his cheek, the tip of his nose, down to his jaw. 

“Feels amazing, doesn’t it?” Changkyun mumbles against his skin, before nipping. “Feels close…”

"You do…" Kihyun breathes. "And warm… so warm…"

“Good,” Changkyun kisses up his chin back up to his mouth, slowly starting to roll his hips, moaning softly at the slow drag of Kihyun inside him. 

Changkyun feels the tight grip of Kihyun’s hold move from his thighs to his ass, feels the way Kihyun’s body rolls into his, hears the low moans Kihyun does deep in his throat muffling against his lips. Changkyun swears he can taste them, sweeter than anything he’s ever had. He gives a last, slow lick to Kihyun’s tongue, before looking into his eyes, foreheads together, the heat of their breaths mingling in the small gap between them. 

In those little specks of brown in Kihyun’s eyes, Changkyun can find sparks of life, and as he moves slow on Kihyun, he watches them catch flame.

Kihyun takes in a sharp breath and reaches for the back of Changkyun’s head, fists his hand around a handful of hair and holds him close as he brings his hips up in a deeper roll into Changkyun. 

It knocks the breath out of him, his head falling back against Kihyun’s hand in his hair, lips parted around a soft moan. “_ Yes _…”

Kihyun latches his lips onto Changkyun’s neck and sucks, tongue pressing against the skin there. It feels like Kihyun is tasting him but, before that can sink in, Changkyun is pulled back into a fervent kiss, Kihyun’s tongue pushing against his. Changkyun tightens himself around Kihyun, breath hitching at how full and warm he feels.

There’s a woosh of air, then, and Changkyun falls forward, elbows to the mattress, face pressing down when he feels some of Kihyun’s weight on him, Kihyun’s lips pressing against his ear.

“I want to hear you.”

Changkyun grips at the sheets with both hands, to anchor himself, to arch his back against Kihyun. And when Kihyun rolls his hips, drags out and then thrusts in a languid movement, it feels like he’s going deeper than before. 

It starts slowly but then it paces up. Kihyun leans back and holds onto Changkyun’s hips, fucks him into the bed fast and hard. Changkyun gasps against the bed, fast breaths coming out in moans and whines, forehead pressed to the sheets as his hands grip harshly at them. 

“I need--” Changkyun cuts himself off with a loud moan at the bursts and build of pleasure, words difficult to form around them. “Please please _ please oh fuck Kihyun please… _”

Kihyun angles himself a little and moves with shorter but still fast body rolls. It makes Changkyun choke on his breath, even more so when Kihyun thrusts deep into him again and presses a little against his back, fingers wrapping around Changkyun’s dick.

“I love your voice,” Kihyun whispers into Changkyun’s ear and Changkyun shivers--_ from like to love, huh? _\--as his entire body tingles with sensation.

Kihyun moves his hand around Changkyun’s dick and Changkyun cries out; not once, not twice, just continuously, as he leaks and twitches onto Kihyun’s hand. 

“Don’t stop don’t stop oh _ fuck _\--”

The weight that keeps dipping into Changkyun’s lower abdomen gets heavier when Kihyun licks at the back of his neck, hand and hips still moving.

“You feel good,” Kihyun says, “Warm... Mine...”

Changkyun whimpers, heavy weight snapping so sharply and intensely that Changkyun chokes on a sob, legs shaking as his body just gives into the feeling entirely, the warmth that Kihyun is enveloping him and leaking inside him. 

Whatever strength he has just fades away, but he still reaches back, a hand in Kihyun’s hair as his body melts onto the bed, breaths fast and eyes struggling to focus, chest warm, heart beating loud in his ears.

Kihyun’s breath puffs against the back of Changkyun’s neck, warm, fast but with rhythm. He places a soft kiss against the skin there (Changkyun’s heart squeezes treacherously) and then shifts a little, pulls out of Changkyun and lets himself fall onto his side. 

Changkyun has just enough strength to lift his head, turn to look at Kihyun and smile at the way Kihyun looks right now, eyes a little dazed, cheeks a little pink and hair messy. He looks so spectacularly alive.

“That was amazing,” Changkyun mumbles, hand lifting lazily between the two of them to touch but just drops and stays there.

Kihyun blinks, eyes shifting on Changkyun’s face, and then moves closer, takes Changkyun’s wrist and pulls his arm over his waist, nose poking Changkyun’s. “You were…”

Changkyun giggles, face warm. “It was a team effort...”

Kihyun huffs a breath that could be a laugh and smiles, eyes closing when he nuzzles in. “Isn’t it always, though?”

Changkyun doesn’t close his eyes, drinking in this image in front of him. _ He’s so pink. _ “With us? Yeah… You really look so beautiful like this…”

Kihyun leans back and opens his eyes to look into Changkyun’s. “Do you really think so?” Kihyun asks, voice far too composed and unnecessarily cold for the open expression on his face.

But Changkyun keeps the sincerity, smiling as his eyes roam Kihyun’s face. “I really do… You say I make you feel alive, but right now, it’s like… I can see it.”

“He--” Kihyun starts but stops, blinks and then leans in to kiss between Changkyun’s eyebrows. “I’m glad. I--” He leans back. “I’d never really thought about the concept of beauty, never really cared… And even though I still don’t care, I think… Sometimes I think you’re beautiful, too.” 

Changkyun smiles wide, biting down at his bottom lip to keep it at bay. “You… You said you love my voice…”

Kihyun frowns. “I… suppose I did…?”

“Didn’t really think about it, huh?”

“I… can’t really explain it…”

“That’s okay,” Changkyun says, voice soft, leaning in for a quick kiss. “You don’t have to.”

Kihyun seems to pout for a moment, a little frown between his eyebrows. He watches Changkyun a tad longer and then tugs at his arm, pulls Changkyun on top of him, hand to the back of his head to keep him steady, lips catching Changkyun’s in a slow, warm kiss.

Not everything needs words, or explanations. Not everything needs feelings dissected and laid out bare, not when everything feels like this. Sometimes, people keep going because they’re inspired to do so. And sometimes the catalyst is but a mixture of warm touches and fuzzy feelings that weren’t requested but deeply needed in ways that go beyond the simple understanding of how things work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now playing: Ezio's Family by Jesper Kyd.
> 
> [Youtube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FSVHx23ByhM) / [Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/05UMQXFCsa9oPnLgfJHVyF?si=Nyev7nwyTFqSeGW_ilNBDA)


	9. Sit Nomine Digna

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> God may laugh at many things. But He will not laugh at this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sit Nomine Digna - May It Be Worthy Of The Name
> 
> HEY!!! LOOK AT THIS LUX AETERNA ART!!!!!  
[HERE!!!](https://twitter.com/CarellaFra1/status/1193894715340599297)

_ “Wise men have interpreted dreams, and the gods have laughed.” _

H. P. Lovecraft

_ _ _ _

Someone once said that nothing really known can continue to be acutely fascinating. Not even the yellow ball of fire that rises up in the sky casts a shadow of doubt in Kihyun’s mind. It is what it is, such as the clouds now blushing at the warm touch of the sun.

Kihyun remembers a time when he looked up and saw a ceiling of stone. He remembers a time when he wished for the open blue sky like no other. But now that he gets to glance at it every single day, it’s starting to look insipid.

The same can be said about almost everything else; the gothic abbeys and buildings, the huge cathedrals that are nothing but stone upon stone, the people, even the beasts.

To live like this, without a purpose, and forever… Ironic, that Death cannot die. There is nothing to fear, there is no end, there’s just… eternity.

Changkyun, however, doesn’t have that. He is as ephemeral as the present, a fleeting little thing in Kihyun’s life, if life is what he leads. So, when Kihyun looks at him, at the way the rising sun casts pink tones on Changkyun’s sleeping face, he thinks that such is worth protecting. Not because of some sort of sentimentality, really. Mostly because all these tedious things Kihyun cannot enjoy mean so very much to the one single thing he can.

It’s simple. Without Changkyun, there’s just the eternal. With him though, Kihyun can almost taste what it means to be alive. Because Kihyun might not have a clock ticking inside his chest, but Changkyun does.

Some things will never change, but Changkyun’s place on Earth is short-lived. When one has so little time to experience it all, things matter. And apparently, Changkyun wants them to matter to Kihyun, too.

Forever is a long time. Not even the sky or the moon have forever to live. But even when that’s over and done, Kihyun will live on, probably alone until time eats itself.

He looks down and reaches over to trace a finger down Changkyun’s cheek. It’s warm. So very, stupidly warm. 

“I’ve been to the darkest places,” Kihyun mumbles quietly to himself. “I’ve seen time flow without aim. I’ve seen heads roll in their horror, unheeded. I’ve touched souls without knowledge, or lustre, or name… without what you call morals, empathy… But I’ve never feared any of it…” _ Not as much as I think I fear forever without you and the dullness that comes with it. _

And Kihyun never asked for it, any of it. But only because he didn’t know better. Because all he knew was that his purpose was to kill until there was nothing left to slay. Because he didn’t think it mattered, he didn’t think _ he _ mattered.

To mean something more, something unexplainable, to somebody else is something Kihyun remembers wishing for. He wished someone would care enough to help, cared enough to save him, cared enough to set him free. And he didn’t know that there was something that could be given without taking something back.

Until now.

So, if Changkyun wants to tear down walls and push through the front doors of White Cathedral, Kihyun will do that for him. Not only for Changkyun, though, and in part for himself, too. Because when Kihyun says he’s doing it for the person he was before he died, he simply means he’s doing it for himself now. Since he too deserves to enjoy this ephemeral life someone was gifted with, something other people seem so keen on taking from him.

Changkyun’s soul is his. That was the deal. And no matter how much Kihyun grows to like Changkyun, a deal is a deal. It’s still an enticing feeling, however, to have something other than pure spite and honor driving him to kill the ones who want to take it all from his grasp.

The sun rises some more in the sky and casts its golden rays upon the skyline. Kihyun watches the scenery for a moment longer, gaze shifting down every now and then to Changkyun’s face, resting against his thigh. And, once that’s enough, because it’s always enough at some point, Kihyun sighs and lets himself fade.

God may laugh at many things. But He will not laugh at this.

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  


Hyungwon has been spending a lot of time with the Healer whose name Kihyun didn’t care to memorize. So, it’s not at all surprising to find him at the Healer’s place with a cup of mead between his hands, eyes cast down but occasionally flicking up to glance at the way the Healer peels those branches.

“A penny for your thoughts?” Kihyun asks from right next to Hyungwon, then, phasing next to him, eyes on the Healer. “I sense some sort of sexual turmoil within you. Do you need help awakening to your basic needs?” Kihyun glances over. “You also look like you haven’t taken a shit in days, hence the question…”

Hyungwon doesn’t look away, frowning over his cup. “Nobody asked your opinion, demon…”

Kihyun smiles a little but it’s nothing close to sunny. It doesn’t even reach his eyes. “I know,” he says, “I’m always this kind so I gave it for free.”

“I can see why the kid likes you,” Hyungwon says, looking away when the Healer glances over with a smile. 

Kihyun raises an eyebrow and looks to the Healer before looking back to Hyungwon. “You’re sulking… How dull. May I suggest something a little more interesting than sulking over someone?”

Hyungwon narrows his eyes at Kihyun, taking a sip of mead. “Is it sexual? If so, I’m not interested.”

“I bet you’d like it, but neither am I,” Kihyun says, glancing at the Healer. “No. It isn’t sexual. Although I’m starting to think you might need to have sex before you help me with this--not with me, with--” he gestures vaguely at the Healer, Hyungwon spluttering a little over his mead. “Mostly because you might not come back. And you know what they say, live while you can.”

Hyungwon’s face goes through a few different expressions before landing on confusion. “Why would I go anywhere with you if I might not come back?”

“Because you were a Hunter once and that means something to you,” Kihyun mumbles. 

Hyungwon looks back to the Healer, swallowing. “It means a lot to me. Or, well, it did…”

“You’ve been to White Cathedral before, haven’t you? Of course you have…”

“Plenty of times. Why, don’t know where it is? Hard to miss, you know.”

Kihyun scoffs a laugh. “I know where it is. But…” He frowns, eyes growing a little cold. “I can’t get in…”

“Because of what you are,” Hyungwon says. “What makes you think I can do anything against wards like that?”

“By borrowing Changkyun, I could get through but… Now I’m free. I can’t just possess him again. And those wards are stronger than the ones they spread through Black Cathedral.” 

“The kid’s whipped for you,” Hyungwon scoffs. “I’m sure he wouldn’t mind.”

Kihyun makes a face and looks up. “He’s what…?”

“Whipped,” Hyungwon says, shrugs. “It’s an expression. Means he adores you, would do anything for you, blah blah. Prophet only knows why...”

Kihyun shifts a little and crosses his arms. “So, you can’t do anything about those wards?”

Hyungwon huffs a breath. “I could. I’d need help, though. You’d need to trust me with the pup.”

“Is there any other way that doesn’t mean involving Changkyun?”

Hyungwon glances over, an odd look in his eyes before he looks away. “Maybe… Since you seem to care so much,” Hyungwon scoffs, smiling back when the Healer glances over again. “Means I’m definitely gonna need to jump on that as soon as I can, though…”

Kihyun almost agrees, but then stops. “Ah… You meant him.” _ Of course. _ “Hopefully that will serve as incentive. You were taking your sweet time, for someone as squishy and mortal as you.”

“And you weren’t, for something as longevous as you.”

“Not my fault Changkyun is one of yours. Squishy people, squishy people…”

“Yes, well… You two better have a plan. I’m not risking my neck so the Prince can just go snooping around.”

Kihyun looks down at his boots, whatever figment of his mind those might be, and then up at the Healer. Such a merciful thing, ignorance. It’s like living on a far away island, so big it would seem impossible to reach the shore. An island in the midst of seas of infinity, not meant to be traveled through. 

“Whatever we find,” Kihyun mumbles, “Might be such a terrifying version of reality that, shall it become known, people might go mad.”

“People are already turning into monsters, how much worse can it be…”

“I’m just saying that the truth is sometimes harsher than the lie. The Church lies… but at least people still see a light in the distance. I’m not sure there will be much light underneath White Cathedral, in more senses than one.”

“It was always forbidden,” Hyungwon mumbles. “To go down to the cellars, the catacombs, to even ask about it. Nobody questioned it. I didn’t question it…”

Kihyun licks his lips. “I’m starting to understand why they want to kill Changkyun so badly…” Kihyun looks up. “He asks too many questions… And doesn’t really shut up once you get him talking.”

“I don’t think he would have survived it in this world without something like you,” Hyungwon scoffs. 

“Oh, no, please,” Kihyun scoffs. “He would have died on the first chapter of this horrid story without me.”

“He found you, didn’t he?” Hyungwon asks as he sits back, mead in hand, eyes going up and down on Kihyun. “Went somewhere he shouldn’t have. The Black Cathedral… Glad I know what that was about, I guess. Your little killing spree, and then his, of course...”

“It’s not so difficult to inspire someone to go on a killing spree,” Kihyun scoffs. “All people need is a little push in the right direction.”

“You really are some sort of demon, leading our little Prince into all sorts of temptations. And now you’re doing the same to me.”

“I’m not the one leading,” Kihyun raises an eyebrow. “As for the demon you think I am,” Kihyun looks at Hyungwon and grins a little. “Just be glad to have me on your side.”

“Heavens, don’t remind me,” Hyungwon groans, quickly straightening up when the Healer walks closer. “Are you done?”

“Yes,” the Healer says, smiling wide as he places down a basket filled with tree bark. “Now I just have to shred it and mix it with sage and it will be ready to be distributed.”

_ Incense, _ Kihyun thinks, eyes on the tree bark. He looks up at the Healer and blinks. Changkyun would think this person to be kind. He’d probably smile fondly, too, if he knew this man is making free incense to help out the people.

“Can I help at all?” Hyungwon asks, smiling small.

The Healer smiles down at the tree bark and nods before he gets up. “Of course. I’ll go downstairs and fetch the sage and then… you can help me prepare the incense…?”

Hyungwon nods. “Sure, sounds--sounds great.” Hyungwon glances at Kihyun, scowls a little, and finishes his mead in one large sip as Hoseok walks away. “They’ll notice the wards are broken once you start making a ruckus. You’ll have to be quick.” 

Kihyun nods. “I’ll send someone your way, someone who can help you.” There is only one other person Kihyun ‘trusts’ enough to do the right thing, no matter how scared they might be. If not Changkyun, then it has to be _ him. _ “I’ll see you in two days.”

“Good, I can do a lot in two days.”

Kihyun sighs and then just lets the slight breeze that passes through the broken window take him with it. It’s just like being conscious and aware, without really seeing or hearing. It’s like knowing he’s present without being able to touch what surrounds him or actually feel the wind that takes him.

At the back of his mind, behind all the thoughts he thinks he can call a conscience, there’s a steady heartbeat. So, that’s where Kihyun goes, even though the sun is still barely high enough and the day is still long, Kihyun just follows that beating heart until the sound is not only at the back of his mind but also close to his ear.

“You’re sort of uncomfortable sometimes,” he mumbles, opening one eye to glance up at Changkyun’s sleeping face. _ And you’re leaking all over your pillow… _ Kihyun presses his cheek some more against Changkyun’s chest and closes his eyes. Pretending to sleep is so boring sometimes Kihyun thinks he does fall asleep, too.

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  


A guiding moonlight. That’s what Kihyun opens his eyes to before slipping away into the actual darkness. It’s like standing in an empty room where the floor ripples with every touch. But on the other side, Kihyun is aware of the real world. He’s aware that all that he sees is the perspective offered by the metal of the blade he’s turned into. And, just ahead, stirring awake, is Changkyun.

“Took you long enough,” Kihyun mumbles, lets his body press against the rippling floor, eyes shifting from thing to thing, whatever he can see in the room.

_ Shhhhhhhhh _ , Changkyun thinks, flopping over to his stomach and pushing his face into the pillows. _ Body hurts... _

Kihyun frowns but something makes the corners of his lips tug a little. “Any reason in particular?”

Changkyun lifts his face enough to peek at Kihyun, sits up slowly, sheets pooling around his waist as he rubs at his eyes. Kihyun’s own shift to him and stay there. Maybe some things are indeed beautiful. Kihyun finds himself thinking such whenever he looks at Changkyun, always in the most random moments.

“Pretty sure you bruised me,” Changkyun says, smiling softly to himself. “S’okay, I don’t mind.” He looks down, lifting the sheets to look at himself. “That is… a whole ass hand. Damn.”

“Does it hurt?” Kihyun asks even though he can’t see whatever Changkyun is talking about.

“Nah,” Changkyun says, plopping back down, smiling over at Kihyun. 

“You should rest today.”

Changkyun narrows his eyes at Kihyun, suspicious. “Why…? You’ve never not wanted to immediately go out and murder things.”

“I can hold my breath today,” Kihyun mumbles, turning around, back against the rippling floor. This way, he’s facing away from the light, seeing only the empty void. To think he used to be scared of it, once.

“Is there a reason you’re all the way over there?”

Kihyun lifts an eyebrow and turns his face just enough to look out over his shoulder. “Why? Want me to be all the way over there?”

Changkyun pouts at him. “Since I’m going to be resting today, I do, yeah.”

Kihyun narrows his eyes for a moment and then sighs. He closes his eyes and lets the rippling floor swallow him until he’s but a bundle of thoughts and then, finally, whole again when he sits next to Changkyun.

“There’s something I wanted to ask you about, actually,” Kihyun says, eyes down on his lap.

Changkyun moves closer, just to bump his forehead against Kihyun’s leg before he looks up at him, expectantly. Kihyun glances over and smiles small, lifting his hand to comb through Changkyun’s hair before looking away again.

“Do you really want to do this?” Kihyun asks. “Do you really want to risk everything to simply turn the world upside down, even though you might not even make it that far?” 

Changkyun frowns, looking away but staying where he is, letting Kihyun comb through his hair for a silent moment.

“No?” Changkyun says, then, laughs softly. “But I can’t just leave the world like this, knowing I’m the only one who can try and do something about it…”

Kihyun looks at his fingers, at the strand of hair he pinches and rubs between fingertips. “May it be worthy of the name…” he mumbles, smiling small. “Some people spend their lives calling themselves kings and queens while behaving like pigs. And yet you talk and I see a crown over your head even though you’re not wearing one right now.”

Changkyun glances at him to smile, small and shy. “Princes don’t get crowns.”

“Not even imaginary ones?” Kihyun asks, reaching down for Changkyun’s arm and pulling him up and closer, over his lap. Changkyun giggles, tugging a little at the sheets to cover himself.

“I’m not an imaginary Prince, I’m a _ real _prince, but hey, maybe I can have an imaginary crown.”

Kihyun raises an eyebrow and smiles a little mischievously, one hand grabbing under Changkyun’s knee and the other moving up his thigh to pull him closer and tip him back a little. “What if I give you one? A real one?” Kihyun asks, nosing at Changkyun’s neck.

“What, you’re gonna steal one? Or turn into one? Pretty sure crowns are weapons,” Changkyun mumbles, but Kihyun can see the goosebumps erupting over his neck, can feel the hand holding at his waist.

“Anything can be a weapon,” Kihyun mumbles, lips rubbing softly against Changkyun’s skin. “What truly defines a weapon is not the sharpness of the blade or the kick of the gun. It’s the purpose you give it. So…” Kihyun kisses Changkyun’s neck softly. “I can be whatever you want me to be.”

“But the one who wears the crown, must bear its weight,” Changkyun says.

“I’m not that heavy,” Kihyun scoffs.

“_ Metaphorically _,” Changkyun says, laughing softly as he ducks down to kiss softly at Kihyun’s lips, look him in the eye. “I’m sure, though… People are suffering every day, I have to try and ease the suffering of whomever lay in the future.”

Kihyun narrows his eyes a little and leans back against the wall, hands moving under the sheets to hold Changkyun’s ass and pull him closer. Changkyun, who makes a small sound of surprise. 

“Because you’re a Prince?” Kihyun asks. “Or because that’s just who you are?”

Changkyun looks between his eyes. “That’s… complicated, because… Well, I was a Prince before, I wanted to make a difference before all this but… now I can.”

“Hm,” Kihyun hums, thumbing softly where he keeps his hands. He looks at the sheets and shifts them around, pulling one end up and over Changkyun’s head before pulling it over his own as well, leaning back against it to lock it between himself and the wall.

The air immediately feels a little stiff with the two of them under the white sheet. But Kihyun doesn’t really need to breathe, so he moves his hands down Changkyun’s back and pulls him to him until their chests press and Kihyun can kiss him. Changkyun giggles soft against his lips before kissing back, tongue teasing at his lips without trying to push past, push in, like he’s just tasting at Kihyun.

Kihyun moves his arms up a little and circles them around Changkyun to hold him close. And like this, Kihyun feels calm, as if all the time in the world could pass and he’d barely notice it.

Funny, how things work and how others turn out to be.

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  


The breeze is slight but it takes Kihyun through abbeys and narrow streets, up gothic buildings and a market that is barely a market with how little it sells. The sun casts no shadows today, high up in the sky and glaring down at the whole world, like it’s unaware of how bad it gets beneath it, or simply likes to scowl and curse like the devilish ball of fire that it is.

The gates have been closed for days, but the breeze takes Kihyun up and over the tall walls that protect the Royal Palace and separate it from everything else. It’s a whole new world, a lighter world, with grounds that don’t smell like rot.

When the breeze descends, it leaves Kihyun in an open street, houses on both sides. He feels himself whole as he takes a deep breath and frowns when he looks to his left, eyes on the swinging plaque that reads ‘blacksmith’.

He tongues at the corner of his lips and runs the tip of his tongue over his lower lip, eyes shifting down to the closed windows and the barred door. Something, a yelp of a little girl nearby, calls to his attention in a way and irks him. It’s what happens when he holds his breath for far too long and Changkyun isn’t around to keep his mind off of it; he really wants to kill.

But that’s not why he’s here right now.

_ Not a blacksmith, _ he thinks, glancing around, _ A carpenter. _

The houses around the Royal Palace make up a small village. It’s nothing compared to what lies outside, beyond the walls, but it seems like enough, holding only the services necessary to keep a castle this big up and running.

Kihyun walks, slowly, because he has time. He ignores the children playing catch, or tries his best, at least, and cuts into another street, smiling a little to himself when he finds what he wants and misting into nothing so he can get closer.

“Can you take these to the back, son?” a man, less years behind his back than he has beneath his skin, yells into another room. “They’re heavy so take them one by one!”

“‘Kay!” Jooheon calls back, quickly walking into the room and taking a quick look around before picking up one of the metal blocks, face scrunching in the effort, moving it to his shoulder and holding it steady as he walks out the door at the back of the room. 

Kihyun follows after him, just eyes and then whole again, stopping when Jooheon stops and crouches down to put down the block.

_ It would be so easy, _ Kihyun thinks, head tilting a little, eyes on the back of Jooheon’s neck. _ Just like breathing. _

Jooheon shivers then, straightening up and frowning as he looks around. And Kihyun has to take a slow breath, teeth sinking a little on his lower lip, just so he can take his eyes off of him. _ Unfortunately. _

It’s starting to stab at the back of his skull.

Jooheon walks back out with another block not a minute later, frown in place.

“The things I do for you, Daisy flower,” Kihyun sighs loudly before the world shrinks and he falls on the floor, just a small, dull dagger that wouldn’t cut a piece of cooked meat. 

Jooheon visibly jumps, almost dropping the metal block on his foot. He stares at the dagger, eyes a little wide and puts the block down. 

“Dad!” Jooheon calls out. “Did you just throw a dagger at me?!”

“A what?!” the man from before shouts from an open window. 

“Nothing!” Jooheon calls back, swallows. “Obviously not, then. Ugh, this is a bad idea,” Jooheon whines to himself even as he walks closer, wrapping his hand in the sleeve of his shirt before picking up the dagger. 

_ Smart little thing. _

Kihyun pushes against the rippling floor, letting the darkness swallow him, and the dagger phases, quickly reappearing two meters ahead on the ground, making a dull sound when it falls.

“Oh, I hate everything about this,” Jooheon says to himself, squinting at the dagger as he approaches it, crouching. 

_ You and me both. _

Again, Kihyun pushes against the rippling ground. And again the dagger phases and reappears two meters ahead. It will be a long way to White Cathedral if they don’t hurry up.

“Are you--Is this dagger seriously leading me somewhere right now,” Jooheon groans, scratching at the side of his head. “Actually, _ fuck this _,” Jooheon says, standing up to walk back inside.

Kihyun glares at nothing. The dagger fades into him and then reappears in his hand as the blade becomes sharper and sharper. He fades when he throws it, all of him being sucked into the weapon that becomes real as it speeds through the air, cuts a strand of Jooheon’s hair as it passes him by, and pierces through the wood of the doorway, where it wiggles a little until it stands still.

_ You’re not going anywhere that isn’t with me. _

Jooheon screams a high pitched thing, scrambling backwards, eyes wide, and Kihyun lets the blade change and become dull again, smaller, even, until it’s too small to hold onto the wood and simply falls to the ground again.

“Fine!” Jooheon screeches.

“What was that?!”

“I’m going out!” Jooheon calls back as he scrambles up, eyes on the dagger. “Fine, whatever, just don’t kill me. I’m literally begging.”

Kihyun almost wants to laugh. Because that’s the one thing he wishes he could do--which he can, but he won’t. So, he just lets the breeze take the dagger a few feet ahead before it materializes and falls from higher above on the ground, a loud thud that calls Jooheon’s attention to it.

Jooheon whimpers, but follows anyway.

* * *

  
  


The sun is already orange in the sky by the time Kihyun lets himself fall one last time, dull blade meeting the cobblestone of the gate that leads to the gardens at the back of White Cathedral.

Hyungwon looks up and frowns when Kihyun becomes whole again to meet his eye, frowning even more when he looks past Kihyun and sees Jooheon, huffing.

“Is this the help you send?” Hyungwon asks, sounding unimpressed.

Kihyun looks over his shoulder, eyes Jooheon up and down. “I suppose this is all I have…”

“Help? What?” Jooheon pants, hands on his knees as he squint at Hyungwon. “Who are you?”

Hyungwon makes a face before he rolls his eyes. “Oh, great, he can’t see you… Of course he can’t see you… Ugh…”

“Sooner or later you won’t be able to see me either,” Kihyun says. “Don’t be judgy.”

“Can’t see who?” Jooheon asks, straightening up. He whines. “Oh, prophet, is it the dagger?”

Hyungwon scoffs. “Yes. Definitely the dagger.”

“Why did--” Jooheon gestures, still breathing heavily. “How did--What--_ Why? _”

“It doesn’t matter,” Hyungwon says, turning to face Jooheon. “My name is Chae Hyungwon. And you are?”

“Lee Jooheon,” Jooheon says, squinting. That seems to be the regular expression, though.

“He’s Changkyun’s friend,” Kihyun explains. Hyungwon doesn’t seem very surprised.

“Very well, Lee Jooheon, how good are you at sneaking into places you shouldn’t?”

Kihyun smiles down at his feet.

“Oh no,” Jooheon says, straightening up and gesturing a little widely. “No no no, I’m not sneaking in anywhere. I’ve had just about enough of that already, thanks.”

“He’ll do it for Changkyun,” Kihyun says, turning his feet inside his boots until they tilt a little to the side.

“Not even for Im Changkyun?” Hyungwon asks.

Jooheon pauses, giving Hyungwon a levelled look. “What does Changkyun have to do with this?”

Hyungwon looks at Kihyun and then back to Jooheon. “Everything.”

Jooheon sighs, hand up over his eyes. “That man’s gonna get me killed…” He sighs again, looks to the side, up, up at the towering cathedral, before glancing back to Hyungwon. “Is he in trouble?”

“Er, no, but he will be if we don’t do this,” Hyungwon says, throwing his thumb back over his shoulder. “I should warn you, though, it won’t be pretty if we get caught. Then again, it shouldn’t take long.”

“I can help you the moment the wards are down,” Kihyun says.

Jooheon whines, looking entirely displeased. “Like, a _ lot _of trouble?”

Hyungwon rolls his eyes and looks at Kihyun, who shrugs. “Let’s just say… Death is stalking him.”

“Great,” Jooheon says. “Just great. Whatever,” he puffs. “What do you need?”

Hyungwon waves him closer and hands him a razor. “Throughout these gardens and around White Cathedral, you’ll find lamps that ooze a strong scent. It’s not common incense, it might actually make you feel a little light headed. Anyway,” Hyungwon steps aside and glances at one of said lamps, a beautiful metal and glass work, shining dimly and fuming something through the holes on the top lid. “You taint it. That’s what you do. And the best way to taint something is to corrupt its purpose.”

Slowly, Hyungwon brings another razor out of his pocket and glides it over his thumb before he holds his hand up and lets the blood fall into the holes on the lamp’s lid. It makes Kihyun feel a little uncomfortable, like there’s something whispering at the back of his neck, making him shiver.

“We’ll take turns,” Hyungwon says, glancing at Jooheon. “Someone must stand watch and keep an eye out. They’re not expecting us, but this is White Cathedral. I don’t want to cross paths with a Cleric Warrior and have them slice me in half for sacrilege.”

Jooheon swallows, looking at the razor. “Right. Sliced in half. Sounds… cheery.”

“It’s messier than what the guy standing next to you right now is fantasizing about, but also less scary, I’d say,” Hyungwon says, looking between Jooheon and Kihyun.

“Funny,” Jooheon says, pointing at him. “Pretending there’s someone next to me to freak me out.”

Hyungwon lifts an eyebrow and tilts his head to Kihyun. “How does it feel to be no one?”

“Enticing,” Kihyun says with little emotion in his voice. “Now hurry up, the sun is setting.”

“The nonexistent person next to you wants us to hurry up,” Hyungwon chirps, turning to the gate and reaching up to hold the golden bars. He shakes them but they don’t budge. “Alright, we’ll have to climb.”

“Just like old times,” Jooheon mumbles to himself, walks closer, razor in his pocket and holding his hands out. “Get up. At least you look lighter than Changkyun.”

Hyungwon makes a face and glances at Kihyun who smiles a little before fading away.  
  


_ _ _ _

Changkyun throws a hand out over the bed, doesn’t feel anything and pouts. He slowly opens his eyes and doesn’t see anything either. 

Stupid weapon, wandering around… 

His stomach doesn’t let him stay in bed, though. So he gets up, takes a bath and wanders downstairs, eyes still tired. Arrate is cleaning again, and smiles at him as he passes by. 

“Min, have you made foo--” Changkyun stops, eyes wide as he takes everything in. Kihyun is there, just leaning against the wall, but so is Jooheon. Jooheon, with a bloody hand, Minhyuk dabbing at it with a towel. “Joo..? What are you doing here? Are you okay?”

Jooheon barely glances over, just lifts one hand and gives Changkyun a thumbs up.

“He lost too much blood,” Kihyun mutters. “Cut himself too deep and then started wiggling it around like a water spray. If he wanted to die that much I could’ve just--” Kihyun eats the rest of his words and scrunches his nose.

“No no no, no dying,” Changkyun says, walking closer with wide eyes and a loud heart. “Min--”

“I’m working on it,” Minhyuk mumbles as he works.

“We should--We should get Wonho,” Changkyun says. _ He’s not really going to die, right? Oh god... _

“I’m fine,” Jooheon mumbles. “I’m just _ really _ lightheaded…”

“That’ll be the blood loss, yeah,” Minhyuk says, smiling up at Jooheon before reaching back for the gauze and a piece of material. 

“You--” Jooheon narrows his eyes at his hand, “Are really good with your fingers.”

Kihyun blinks twice, eyes going a little bigger as he tilts his head forward to give Jooheon a look. If it was any other situation (meaning his best friend wasn’t possibly going to bleed to death) Changkyun would have laughed.

“Thanks,” Minhyuk says. “First time I’ve heard it in this context,” Minhyuk says, rolling up Jooheon’s sleeve. “Gonna try and constrict the blood flow, okay?”

“I don’t know what that means, but go ahead,” Jooheon babbles, forehead dropping to the table with a loud thud.

Changkyun moves to the side, grabbing Kihyun by the wrist and looking at him with wild eyes. _ What the fuck happened? _

Kihyun looks up and sighs. “Right… where should I begin…?” He opens his mouth, closes it, frowns and then sighs again. “Hyungwon needed help to clear the wards around White Cathedral because I wouldn’t be able to walk in there otherwise--believe me, I tried. Those days I stayed away? That’s what I busied myself with during the day…” Kihyun shifts. “But to taint wards you need… something you can’t spare to lose. So, I thought your friend wouldn’t mind giving a helping hand…” Kihyun looks at Jooheon. “Though I think he gave his whole arm…”

Changkyun gapes. “You--Why the hell didn’t you let me do it?! Jooheon’s not involved in this! He already needs to stay away from me to be safe and then you--”

“One,” Kihyun says, glaring a little at Changkyun, “Lower your voice. Two, we have an agreement, you and I. You soul is mine, and you know well enough what a soul manifests as in the physical world. _ Three,” _ Kihyun presses when he notices Changkyun breathing in to complain, “You’d have to go in without me… They’re keen on killing you, not your friend. Him? They’d probably want alive. You and Hyungwon? They’d want to kill you if they found you. And you’d want to go if I’d told you. So, I didn’t tell you.”

hangkyun stares, mouth open. “I…” Changkyun looks around, at Jooheon barely conscious as Minhyuk patches him up. “You’re making sense but I don’t like it,” Changkyun mumbles, sighs and massages at his temples. 

Kihyun tongues at the corner of his lips and eyes Changkyun up and down, like he’s considering something. When he leans in a little, his eyes are a little soft when he says, “I was worried about you.”

Changkyun’s eyes flick over, heart tightening. “You were?” Changkyun asks, voice soft. He didn’t even know Kihyun _ could _get worried… “Why…?”

“Because… if you really _ have _ to die then it might as well be in the end and not halfway there. You can’t just come all this way and… die tainting a ward.” Kihyun looks away and frowns. “It would be of very poor taste…”

Changkyun pouts, running a hand through his hair. “Look, I don’t exactly want to die either, but… That’s my best friend, you know? I don’t even know if you do, but I don’t want him to die either.” Changkyun reaches up, smoothing out a hand over Kihyun’s shoulder. “Did you guys at least find something?”

“If I didn’t know that, I would have killed him,” Kihyun mumbles. “No lack of want there… And yes, there’s a weird looking chapel in the middle of the gardens, surrounded by a graveyard of swords. It leads into the catacombs but there’s a wall in the middle. Not a big deal, I can tear it down.”

Changkyun looks back at Jooheon again, biting at his lip. “Sounds like a plan…” He smiles softly at Kihyun, eyes soft because… shit, Kihyun was actually worried?

We should go as soon as possible, before they notice the wards are not working.”

“We’ll go tonight, I just... Need to make sure Joo’s gonna be okay.”

Kihyun tilts his head a little, eyes shifting up to look at Jooheon and Minhyuk. “He seems just fine from where I’m standing.”

“You can’t help heal him, right? Just me?” 

“Just you,” Kihyun says, pulling away from the wall. “Although… if you’re going tonight then you might want to--” he stops himself, lips pursing together. “I’ll be upstairs,” he says instead, quickly fading away.

Changkyun swallows, walking closer. “Feeling okay?” he asks, crouching down to watch Jooheon’s face. He looks sleepy and pale.

“He should be fine, but,” Minhyuk sighs. “He’s gonna have to stay here for a while. I need to keep an eye on him and we need Wonho’s poultices.” 

“Who’s Wonhonho?” Jooheon mumbles, cheek pressed against the table.

Minhyuk scoffs a small laugh, glancing over to Changkyun. “Is he single?”

Changkyun barks a laugh in surprise. “Er… Yeah? Is now the time, Minhyuk?”

Minhyuk shrugs. “Just curious.”

“Very single,” Jooheon mumbles, slurping back some drool. “Eugh…”

“Attractive,” Changkyun scoffs as Minhyuk coos, reaching up with a towel to dab at Jooheon’s face. “Hey, er, can we… have a minute?” Changkyun asks, tilting his head at Jooheon. “Then you can have him all to yourself, promise.”

Minhyuk laughs softly, standing up. “I’ll check up in ten minutes,” Minhyuk says, gives a small salute and walks off. Changkyun just pouts, moves some hair from Jooheon’s face.

“Stay with me, buddy,” Changkyun smiles. 

“M’fine, m’fine,” Jooheon mumbles, tries to lift his head and sniffles. “You seem healthy and alive, not in as much danger as I was told you were…”

Changkyun frowns. “That what they told you? Aish, I am, but... Be careful, dummy.”

“What, this?” Jooheon lifts his hand and winces a little. “It’s nothing. I just underestimated that razor, to be honest.” He looks down and then back up at Changkyun. “You’ll be fine, though, right…?”

“Yeah, I’m invincible,” Changkyun says, tries for a confident smile. “You’re not, though, so I hope you’re okay with Min’s fretting.”

“Min?” Jooheon frowns. “I’m sorry… There’s just--” He starts counting. “Hyungwon, phantom dagger, random invisible friend of Hyungwon’s, Minhyuk--Who’s Min?”

“The guy who just asked if you were single,” Changkyun scoffs, glancing at Jooheon’s hand. It’s stopped bleeding… 

“Ah…” Jooheon blinks, blushes a little and looks down. “Unavailable, at the moment, but… maybe someday…”

“Right,” Changkyun says, heart jumping a little. “You, er… Never said anything,” Changkyun mumbles, looking down. 

Jooheon’s ears change from pink to red and he frowns at the table. “What would have been the point…? I knew you didn’t… feel the same way. I know you.”

“Guess I didn’t know you all that well,” Changkyun says, smiling small. “My bad.”

“Not much to know when I was trying to hide it, don’t you think?” Jooheon scoffs. He glances up and pouts a little. “Don’t think too much about, please… I just… I just told you because I think I’d regret it if something happened and I hadn’t…”

“It’s fine, really,” Changkyun says, waving a hand even as he blushes a little. “I mean, hey, I’m flattered!” Changkyun tries to joke. “But, er, yeah, don’t worry about it. I--Whelp, just almost said ‘sorry’...”

Jooheon huffs a laugh and shakes his head. “Wow--” he sways, “Remind me not to shake my head. What the…”

“Please don’t,” Changkyun smiles, lips in a line. “Look, I should tell you… What’s really going on. I owe you that much, considering you almost bled out all over a cathedral…”

Jooheon blinks slowly and then shifts a little to look at Changkyun. “You sure…?”

“I mean, if you want to know?”

“Try me,” Jooheon says, waving his hand a little dismissively and smiling small.

Changkyun sits down properly, puffing a small breath. “Right, so… Basically, you know that dagger that led you to Hyungwon? It’s the one I picked up in the Black Cathedral. It’s the reason I had to leave, the reason for… All of what’s happened to me, I guess...”

Jooheon frowns. “The… dagger?” He makes a face. “What do you mean…?”

“It’s… Complicated, but…”

“You can’t say you’ll tell me everything and then say ‘it’s complicated’.”

Changkyun pouts. “I know, I know, but it is! I’m just thinking,” Changkyun laughs running a hand through his hair. “The dagger’s name is Kihyun. He’s the reason I had all those nightmares, the reason it looks like I tried to kill my brother…”

Jooheon opens his mouth to speak but doesn’t. He looks down at his wounded hand then back up at Changkyun. “Is it some… some sort of curse…?”

“Kind of? He… owns my soul,” Changkyun says and scoffs because… wow, that sounds… that sounds like a _ lot _ . “He needs to kill, it’s why he was so _ insistent _. But he can’t help it. Like breathing, he said.”

“And…” Jooheon frowns harsher. “Can’t it just go kill somewhere else? Why does it need you?”

“A weapon needs someone to wield it. But, Joo, I--” he smiles wide. “I can make a difference like this, you know? It doesn’t matter what I kill, so I can kill monsters, and he’s the only thing that can kill me, so I’m safe.”

Jooheon shakes his head and seems to regret it the next second. “Ugh… You--You--” He sighs. “You can’t be serious…? You say you’re cursed but now you say it’s okay?”

“Well, I said ‘kind of’,” Changkyun says, sheepishly. “It felt like a curse, in the beginning, it really did. It felt like he was ruining my life, but then the Church took me and I felt so fucking powerless and if it wasn’t for him, I--” Changkyun takes in a sharp breath. “Well, I’d be dead. Or worse.”

“But he’s the reason why the Church took you in the first place…” Jooheon mutters.

“Me, yes, but not all the others I tried to save,” Changkyun says, scooting closer. “There’s so much going on that I never knew about, horrible things. And it’s not like--like Kihyun’s intent was bad, he _ needs _to kill, he can’t help it--”

“You wouldn’t be saying that if someone you care about had died,” Jooheon says, looking down.

“I know… It’s better this way, though, he’d never kill anyone if I didn’t tell him to.”

Jooheon pouts and frowns and takes a deep breath. “This is going to sound ridiculous once I say it out loud but--” Jooheon looks up and catches Changkyun’s eye. “If I didn’t know better… Actually, I don’t know better. You--” Jooheon makes a face. “You like it--him… whatever it is they are.”

Changkyun’s heart jumps and he looks away. “I… Like I said, complicated...”

“Is it, really?” Jooheon asks. It sounds sincere. “Because from the little I gather, something took over you and nearly made you go insane, but then somehow convinced you it was all for a greater purpose. And you, being as you are, just keep on trying to see the best of it, even when there’s quite literally nothing good to look at.” Jooheon looks away. “Did you really have to pick up that thing…?”

Changkyun frowns, a pang of hurt somewhere in his chest. “I’m gonna fix it, Joo, I swear… I’m gonna use this and fix it…”

Jooheon brings his wounded hand closer to himself and starts fumbling a little with the gauze. “Sometimes there’s things you can’t fix. Believe me, my father is a carpenter, I’d know.” He pouts at nothing in particular. “This thing you have to do, this thing I helped you with… What’s the price? Literally, what’s the worst thing that can happen?”

Changkyun swallows. “I’m not even sure, Joo. I have no idea what’s gonna happen.”

“Yet you’re still risking it.”

“Don’t--Please don’t do this,” Changkyun says, feeling his shoulders slump.

Jooheon huffs a laugh and shrugs. “Do what… You’re the one who’s sort of saying goodbye to me and I’m supposed to--what…” He looks up and his eyes are a little shiny. “Let you go?”

“Jooheon, I…” Changkyun’s heart twists. “I could get rid of the monsters, I can fix everything, wouldn’t you? Wouldn’t you _ try _, at least?”

“Don’t try to guilt trip me,” Jooheon grumbles, kicking lightly at Changkyun under the table. “You’re my best friend. It’s one thing to be apart knowing you’re alright. It’s another thing to know you--”

“I’ll be _ fine _, Joo, really,” Changkyun says, feels his own eyes burn. “I wasn’t saying goodbye, I’d never do that… I just needed you to understand...”

Jooheon seems ready to say something but he shuts up the moment Minhyuk walks back in. Jooheon nods, faintly, but keeps his eyes on his hand, frowning a little when Minhyuk sits down in front of him. “I understand,” Jooheon says, then.

Changkyun’s heart keeps twisting, down to his stomach. Guilt, was it? 

“Don’t you break my heart, you hear me?” Jooheon mumbles, looking up at him. “I only have one of those…”

Changkyun can’t help when he reaches out to pull Jooheon into a tight hug, tries his best not to tear up. It’s difficult, though, when Jooheon obviously doesn’t hold back as well as Changkyun does, though.

“I promise we’ll go raid whatever you want together if you come back,” Jooheon says, sniffles.

Changkyun hides his face in Jooheon’s shoulder. “We’ll go far away, I promise… No more monsters.”

“Should I… Go?” Minhyuk asks and Changkyun shakes his head, leaning back as he stands up.

“I should, though…” Changkyun mumbles.

Jooheon just sniffles and turns front again, clearing his throat. “Look the gauze is falling apart, you should redo it,” he tells Minhyuk, who smiles and does just that, hands careful.

“Take care of him for me,” Changkyun says, voice soft before he smiles at Jooheon. “I’ll be back… Take a nap and I’ll be here when you wake up, promise.”

Jooheon gives him a quick glance before looking back to Minhyuk’s hands on his. “Your fingers are pretty.”

Changkyun takes a step back, scoffing when he sees Minhyuk’s ears go red. “Atta boy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now playing: Lux Aeterna by Clint Mansell & Kronos Quartet.
> 
> [Youtube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aOHmfq2AUaU) / [Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/62Da3JOu9H9EIgmqV7DoLG?si=JHayXOR4TZ-aJeLRvtg62w)


	10. Toto Cælo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not even the maddest poet could do justice to the sea of bones that extends until where the eyes cannot see.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Toto Cælo - By The Whole Extent Of The Heavens
> 
> [ cw for major character death ??? ]

_ “They worshipped, so they said, the Great Old Ones who lived ages before there were any men, and who came to the young world out of the sky.” _

H. P. Lovecraft

_ _ _ _

Amongst the muck, in a city of black and death and horror, stands the White Cathedral, in all appearances uncontaminated, pure, virtuous. It’s such a stark contrast to everything around it, it looks like it doesn’t belong. The eye of the storm. But it’s a parasite, and it’s untouched only because parasites don’t eat themselves, just everything they touch.

And in the middle of the night, where some ghosts are so quiet one would hardly know they were real, the howls of werewolves fill the atmosphere with an eerie presence. The moon, bright as it is, bloated and high up in the sky, reflects off the walls of White Cathedral and spreads light everywhere, giving it a daunting, pious aura.

Changkyun and Kihyun circle around it, following the high golden railing that twists and turns in the strangest shapes. Some look like lions, others like eagles, and every now and then a fish. White Cathedral’s pinnacles are a constant in the scenery, appearing even over the trees the moment they approach the gardens at the back.

At some point, it’s hard to tell where the sky ends the the treeline begins. All is pitch black, the only whites coming from the cathedral and the moon itself. The railing grows shorter the further they walk, and they stop once it seems short enough.

Kihyun looks up at it for only a moment shorter than Changkyun and then turns to walk towards the golden railing. “We just need to jump and walk in a straight line towards the weird chapel.”

“Funny, I used to call it that when I was younger,” Changkyun scoffs, looking around for a rock that he uses as a step up to lift himself over the railing. No way he could have done this a while back. 

Kihyun simply phases himself through the railing, shivering once he becomes whole again. He looks over his shoulder and scowls. “It still feels weird to be here… It’s like…” He rolls his shoulders and looks around. “It’s like I don’t belong.”

“You don’t, and it’s not a bad thing,” Changkyun says, walking forward. Even to him, the ground feels... Odd. Maybe it’s all the demon exposure. “Quick question, what will happen if the wards come back up?” Changkyun asks, looking at Kihyun. 

He actually stops and gives him the most scared look he’s ever worn on his face. “Don’t joke about serious things…”

Changkyun blinks, heart suddenly tight. Because he knows; he knows the wards will kick Kihyun out and leave him here alone. “I… wasn’t joking, but okay… I won’t mention it, then.”

Kihyun just makes a face and looks away, shivering again. “There’s… There are Cleric Warriors around, by the way. Try not to speak too loudly.”

_ I’ll just think, then, _ Changkyun thinks, keeps walking despite how heavy his feet feel all of a sudden. _ Do you have any idea what kinds of things we’ll find down there? _

_ “Worshippers?” _ Kihyun’s voice sounds even though his mouth doesn’t move. _ “I doubt there are any monsters on the upper levels. Those wards are too strong.” _

“So… zealots,” Changkyun mumbles to himself. “Sounds fun.”

_ “White Cathedral was built upon something, that much I know. But I have no idea how deep that something goes or what’s down there.” _

_ Far enough to find something they never should have _.

_ “This Grey Blood,” _ Kihyun mumbles. _ “Wherever it comes from, it’s probably down there…” _

_ Looking forward to seeing what it is? _

_ “Unsure… Not because of what it means to me, but because of what it might imply.” _

_ The existence of a god, you mean. _

_ “I’m starting to think it might be something like that…” _

There’s a noise and Kihyun stops, arm coming up to stop Changkyun, too, and keep him back. Kihyun’s eyes search the bushes and he crouches, slowly, hand fisting around the cotton that peaks from under the leather on Changkyun’s chest and pulling him down, too.

Something big enough to make loud thuds as it walks passes by ahead. Changkyun can see the white cloak that reflects the moonlight glinting a little between the leaves.

_ “Cleric Warrior,” _ Kihyun’s voice says. _ “Not saying we couldn’t take him, but it would be best to go unnoticed for as long as we can…” _

_ Can we sneak around him? _ Changkyun watches the man move, and it’s menacing, the way it seems to walk with the help of a staff. _ We can take him, but you’re right. We shouldn’t waste time and, well, you don’t get tired, but I do. _

Kihyun frowns, keeps his eyes on the fluttering white cloak and slowly shifts to the side. _ “He will hear us. How far can you throw me?” _ he asks before Changkyun sees him mist away and reappear in his hand as a dagger.

_ You want to distract it? _Changkyun asks, weighing the dagger in his hand.

_ “I’ll come back to you once I hit something.” _

Changkyun nods, peeking over the bush to find a spot. _ Can you shoot yourself? Not-- _ Changkyun almost laughs. _ Not like that, like, as a pistol, can you make a shot ring out? _

_ “Just throw me, you idiot.” _

Changkyun smiles to himself and aims, puts all his strength into throwing Kihyun as far as he can. The dagger hits a tree with a loud thunk, the Cleric Warrior immediately straightening up and rushing towards the sound, pale, ghostly and inexpressive face catching light, Changkyun sprinting forward in a straight line. But the door, heavy, and made of oak, is locked.

_ Shit _.

_ “Duck.” _

Changkyun yelps softly as he ducks, hands up over his head as he makes himself a small ball, as small as he can. Something obviously swings over his head and slams against the door, a loud metallic sound ringing before part of the lock falls in front of Changkyun’s feet.

When he looks up, he sees a huge axe buried into the wood, splitting the metallic door in half in a way that made the old wood crack all over. It looks fairly thorough for one single swing.

_ “After you, Daisy flower.” _

Changkyun spartles a little, pushing the door open and pushing it shut behind him. _ Clearly don’t need me to throw you around _.

_ “We wouldn’t want you to feel useless, now, would we?” _

Changkyun rolls his eyes and stands up, back to the door. There’s a large, sliding lock, and Changkyun pushes it in place, glancing around. It looks like a cathedral in design, sure, but much, much smaller. Like it’s special, somehow, like only the few amount of people who could fit here would deserve to.

Kihyun mists himself ahead of Changkyun, closer to the altar. The moonlight shines in a way that makes the stained glass reflect on his skin. “Have you ever wanted to thrash about in a church?” Kihyun asks, glancing over. “You’ll need to push the altar aside, careful not to drop anything.”

“Is ‘thrash about’ supposed sound so suggestive or is it just me?”

“I’d take you up on that but we’re running on time.”

“Another church, another time,” Changkyun scoffs, finds a solid grip on the altar before he starts pushing. It’s fucking _ heavy _. Underneath it, a trap door. The altar thuds at the slight drop, and the trap door looks incredibly sturdy, if not old. 

“From here on out,” Kihyun says, glancing up at Changkyun, “We’re going in blind. I have no idea what’s beyond this… So, if you want to turn back, now is the time.”

“You know I’m too curious for that,” Changkyun smiles, but holds a hand out when Kihyun makes to mist into a weapon. “Wait, before we do that--” _ What was it Jooheon said? No regrets? _Kihyun looks somewhat comical, half faded, half right there. “I… I’m not sure if you’ll understand what I mean, but I want you to know that--” Changkyun swallows, heart a little loud. “I love you.”

Kihyun’s eyes widen a little and he lifts his head, the one shoulder that is visible slumping right before the rest of his body comes back. He frowns a little and opens his mouth to say something, but seems a little confused all of a sudden so he stops himself.

“As in,” he says after what feels like a fair amount of time, “In love…? Like you said before, romantically…?”

“Yeah,” Changkyun says, heart still loud although that’s expected. “It doesn’t make a lot of sense, really, but it occured to me quite recently that I’ve fallen in love with you. So we better not die down there, because I’d like to stay in love with you for as long as I can.” 

Kihyun looks down, his eyes going soft, a little sad even. “Does it make you happy…?”

Changkyun smiles, remembers the touches and giggles, the warmth in his chest and the soft smiles Kihyun gives him, and only him. “You do, yeah.”

Kihyun blinks up but his eyes go back down. And maybe it’s a trick of the light, but when he nods and smiles a little, just a little, before he fades away, Changkyun could swear he saw a tint of red to Kihyun’s ears.

_ “You have terrible timing, by the way,” _ Kihyun’s voice says, Changkyun’s rapier appearing in his hand.

“Sorry,” Changkyun smiles, easily hacking open the trap door’s lock with a single swing. “I’ll tell you again later,” he says, bending down to pull open the trap door. It should be dark, but it isn’t. It shines with the light of what can only be hundreds of candles.

_ “Then you better hold on tight, because if you lose me then you’ll most likely die. And that is literally not in my list of priorities right now.” _

“It’s alright; I know you’ll always come back to me.”

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  


Decrepit splendor. 

The air is stale and it smells of dust and cinders. Lanterns hang from high, arched ceilings, unlit and overrun with cobwebs, and the stone statues crumble, faces cracked. And yet, along the walls, brass holds candles that burn all along the massive hallway. 

It’s old, very old, but not unlived in, if living is what these worshippers do. It’s different, too, from the architecture high above the surface. The details flourish a little more and the corridors look imperial, in a way. It’s as if Aureum is but a man-made reflection of this, trying to grow in the image of this, while still lacking something. 

Every now and then, a detailed symbol appears on the walls. Once on the left, then on the right, and then again on the left. It looks like some sort of monster or, in this case, a symbol representing a monster, a form which only some wicked fancy could have conceived.

Changkyun has seen some strange things, he’s fought some diseased things, too. But this doesn’t look like the typical beast that overruns the streets of Aureum. It looks like something more.

They go through the longest corridor Changkyun has ever seen, until it reaches an intersection. On the farthest end to the left, another intersection. To the right, the corridor opens into a chamber of sorts.

_ “I sense something on both sides,” _ Kihyun’s voice whispers. _ “Be cautious.” _

“We shouldn’t get too distracted,” Changkyun mumbles, huffs a small breath and walks into the corridor on the right. “Danger either way, right?”

_ “I count at least four, but they’re on different levels. We should be able to take them one by one.” _

“Can you sense how powerful they are?” Changkyun asks, keeping his voice low. “Or is that why you used the word ‘should’.”

_ “Sometimes you sound so intelligent, Daisy flower…” _

Changkyun rolls his eyes--he’s not going to get into a bickering war with a weapon over his own intelligence, _ not again _\--and keeps looking around. The statues barely have faces, but it feels like their eyes are somehow following his every movement.

Before the corridor opens into what Changkyun can perceive to be the big hall, stairs up and down like a labyrinth but always and still decorated in the most intricate details, he notices words carved into the stone on the archway right above.

“Nec dextrorsum, nec sinistrorsum…?” he reads, accent clearly failing him.

_ “Neither to the right nor to the left,” _ Kihyun whispers. _ “Meaning, don’t get distracted.” _

“Reading that was a distraction,” Changkyun grumbles, keeps moving. 

_ “It might have something to do with how deep this thing goes. Watch your step when fighting. I can kill for you but I can’t fly…” _

Changkyun looks down at his feet as he walks for a moment; old, worn stone, but cracked. _ Great _… It doesn’t help that he feels entirely uneasy being here, more so than in Black Cathedral, even. 

The open hall is indeed huge, a labyrinth of stairs that go up and down in every which direction. And just ahead, between two flights of stairs that could also lead to a deadly fall, Changkyun spots a light and hears the heavy stab of something against the stone.

_ “How do you want to do this…?” _

Changkyun frowns. “The rest doesn’t matter, we just need to get to the source, right? Do you have any idea which way to go for that?”

_ “Uhm… down?” _

Changkyun scoffs a small laugh, picks one of the flights of stairs going down at random, and slices easily through one of the burning lanterns attached to the wall to take it with him. 

Falling to his death is really not how he wants to go. 

And oh, if it’s a long way down. Changkyun’s stomach turns a little, and he grips at the hilt of the sword. It’s not Kihyun’s hand, but it’s close enough.

There are inscriptions on the walls, some of them so old that Changkyun can no longer tell what they say. And every now and then, on the faraway platforms that the stairs connect, he spots Church servants, probably warriors, too, keeping watch.

From the looks of it, some wield a walking staff that seems to double as a weapon. Others wield a lantern along with the staff, a lantern that shines so bright it doesn’t even look like natural fire. And, occasionally, one of them will appear carrying a large scythe.

They manage to avoid most of them, being careful as not to call attention to themselves with Changkyun’s loud footsteps. But the more stairs Changkyun walks down, the more his knees start to complain, sporadically bending down far too much and without his consent.

_ “I swear… If you fall, I’m killing you before you splash against the ground.” _

“I’d actually prefer that, thanks,” Changkyun says, groans when he misses a step and it jolts up his leg. Kihyun literally appears in front of him to hold him steady and then forces him to sit down on the stairs.

“Let’s not tempt fate, shall we?” he says, a frown on his face. He crouches in front of Changkyun and then tilts to the side, closer to the edge so he can take a look. “There’s someone down there… on the next platform.”

Changkyun squints into the darkness, until whatever it is passes a source of light and Changkyun’s eyes widen. “That’s… big for a someone.”

“These people take Grey, that’s for sure,” Kihyun mumbles, getting up. “You rest for a bit, I’ll go take a look,” he says, stepping back towards the edge, stopping when the stone crumbles a little under his heel.

It’s more of a reflex, the way Changkyun’s heart dips when Kihyun lets himself fall back and into the abyss. But then again, what is dead cannot die. It’s a small assurance, at least, that even if Changkyun doesn’t make it out of here, Kihyun will… well, ‘live on’ doesn’t sound quite right.

Changkyun stretches his legs out in front of him and massages a little at his knees, careful not to lean too far over the edge. He’s curious, but he doesn’t have a death wish.

On the nearby wall, he spots another inscription; Nisi Dominus Frustra.

Did these people have nothing better to do than inscribe ominous Latin phrases on their walls? _ Tsk _.

_ I’m fine, _ Changkyun thinks, tries not to think about _ why _ they’re in a rush. He had the faintest suspicion (which is now the utmost fear) that it will include him being left here, alone. _ We should keep moving. _

Kihyun mists himself in front of him, eyes on his face. He looks considerably more sober than he did before and even smiles faintly before leaning in and kissing Changkyun’s nose. A small gesture, but it sets Changkyun’s heart a little at ease. 

“We should,” Kihyun says, standing up. “Come on.”

Changkyun reaches for Kihyun’s hand to pull himself up; an excuse, more than anything. He doesn’t want to admit it, but he’s scared. Then again, he’s sure Kihyun knows that, can feel it, most likely.

They go down three flights of stairs and then reach the following platform. Changkyun’s breath stutters a little when he sees the limp figure on the floor, white cloak bloodied with the pool of red that gathers around it.

“It was a clean shot all the way from up there,” Kihyun says, sighing wistfully and tilting his head. “Didn’t even make a sound, proving once more that size isn’t everything.”

“Show off,” Changkyun mumbles, smiling fondly, pulling Kihyun with him as he steps around the body. Under the hood, Changkyun gets a look at its face; it looks like it shouldn’t even have blood, as dry and wrinkled as the Cleric that tried to kill him and Hyungwon not too long ago. And it’s huge; easily three times as tall as Changkyun. And around its neck… “Whatever this Grey Blood is, I think it’s addictive… That symbol?” Changkyun points. “The last time the Church used that was, well, hundreds of years ago as far as I know.”

“Power is addictive,” Kihyun says, the pool of blood slowly misting towards him. “Not surprising… What is it, though?”

“It’s from before the Church swore off magic,” Changkyun says, bending down to tug the necklace off the creature. It’s a basic shape; a diamond with a sharp hourglass shape cutting it horizontally. Perfectly symmetrical. “It’s complicated, but they used this to sum up, well, everything. _ As above, so below, as within, so without _. What we think, will be expressed, as it is in Heaven, so it is on Earth.” Changkyun shrugs. “They denoted it, saying that God is not so easily understood and that magic is heresy. Gives humans too much power, I think. Ironic, considering…”

“Magic…” Kihyun mumbles. “There was no magic before, or rather, there was but not within grasp. So, I guess it’s safe to assume they thought magic comes from… God. _ God, _ I hate being right…”

“You and me both,” Changkyun says, pocketing the necklace and tugging at Kihyun to keep going. “It would go against their teaching, you know, magic being from God and not the other half of the equation.”

“This place is old,” Kihyun breathes, looking around, “Older than Aureum itself. The fact that White Cathedral was built over it, the fact that Aureum has the strongest religious presence to be known… I don’t know, but something stinks.” He stops walking and tugs at Changkyun’s hand to make him look at him. “If that’s what’s down there… Do you really think there’s anything you can do about it?”

“No idea,” Changkyun mumbles, looking down at their hands. “But at least I’ll die knowing.”

Kihyun frowns, eyes shifting on Changkyun’s face. “And that’s fine with you…?”

“Surely, it’s better than living a life thinking I could have done something but didn’t,” Changkyun says, sighs and tugs again. “Come on, too late now.”

“Maybe if you hadn’t known, it would have been better for you.”

Changkyun frowns. It doesn’t feel right, but he doesn’t know what to say, so he doesn’t say anything, just keeps walking. 

The walls are still beautiful. No matter how far down they go, everything is still sort of magnificent in a sinister way. The inscriptions on the walls are many, all speaking of God or of willpower. Some are even sort of pretty, like the one Kihyun keeps mumbling under his breath; Non canimus surdis, respondent omnia silvae.

_ We sing not to the deaf; the trees echo every word. _

Others take on a further ominous trend; Non compos mentis.

_ Not in control of the mind. _

But the more they walk, the more this place seeps into Changkyun’s mind. The words cling to the walls of his brain, its beauty leaks in front of his eyes, and he forgets the one thing he should have not forgotten;

Don’t get distracted.

A loud thud, something metallic slamming against sturdy rock, echoes through the big hall. Kihyun is already misting away and turning into a sword in Changkyun’s hand by the time Changkyun’s eyes snap up and he sees a cleric, walking staff in one hand, a bright lantern in the other.

_ “I’m sorry, I didn’t sense it…” _

Changkyun holds the sword up, tells himself to be calm, and carefully tries to circle around it, eyes catching on the lantern. It hurts to look at, so he looks away. _ We got this _. 

Before the Cleric can react--Changkyun knows it will--Changkyun quickly moves forward to slash at the back of its neck, hidden under the hood.

Blood splashes on the floor, on Changkyun’s face, and the cleric tumbles forward. The worst part is that there’s not even a sound, a whimper, a scream, like whatever this thing is can’t feel pain anymore.

The cleric glances over its shoulder, face blank, eyes looking at Changkyun but also sort of looking past him. And as Changkyun steps forward to attack once again, the cleric turns around and its lantern shines in a bright, blinding white light.

Changkyun’s eyes hurt so he closes them. But then they burn, as does the sharp pain he takes to the chest, and the pull of gravity that makes him fall, back slamming against the stairs.

The cleric’s staff slams down and it’s a deafening sound.

Changkyun opens his eyes and reaches up in a moment of panic because--_ I can’t see _. He scrambles up, holding the sword in front of him, but everything is black, blinding white bleeding in at the edges. He can’t see the cleric, can’t even see the sword in his hand. 

“Kihyun_ \-- _” Changkyun says, hears his voice waver. 

_ “What is it?” _

“I’m blind,” Changkyun breathes, blinking harshly, eyes wide like that’ll help. 

_ “What?! _

A slight step to the left and the pull of gravity nearly takes Changkyun’s foot with it. His heart speeds up in a moment of even more panic, but relief comes when the sword in his hand weights enough to keep him up, long enough for him to withdraw his foot and avoid falling into the abyss.

_ “Shit. Alright… It will probably heal but we have a problem…” _

Kihyun doesn’t usually swear, but when he does it sounds like he means it with every fiber of his body. Changkyun takes a breath and keeps blinking, panic easing off a little when more and more light bleeds in. It’ll heal, but right now--

Changkyun hears a heavy footstep and ducks to the side, just in time to hear something slam against the wall next to him. _ Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck-- _

_ “Shut up. Just listen to me, I’ll be your eyes.” _

“Okay,” Changkyun swallows, runs forward when the sword seems to tug in his hand. 

_ “Duck, knees down, you’ll slide un--” _

Changkyun ducks and feels a sharp pain run up his thighs when his knees hit the floor. He seems to slide, and his arms come up when the sword tugs up. The sound of something cutting through flesh reaches his ears and something warm spills over his face before the sword weighs heavily and turns into something heavy enough to keep Changkyun from sliding any further.

_ “Keep your eyes closed. It’s trying to blind you again…” _

Changkyun scrunches his eyes closed tightly, heart loud in his ears.

_ “It’s alright,” _ Kihyun’s voice whispers around him. Changkyun feels a familiar touch soothe up and down on his cheek. _ “I won’t let you fall.” _

Changkyun hears heavy footfalls and swallows around the tightness in his chest. _ I’m scared, Ki _.

_ “I know.” _

The weight on Changkyun’s hand grows lighter.

_ “Shoot.” _

Changkyun raises his hand, finger tightening around the trigger and when he shoots, the cleric doesn’t make a noise, but Changkyun can hear the sound of bullets piercing flesh. So he shoots again, and again, and again, even as the footfalls near. He shoots until the weight shifts again. And it’s such a strange thing, instinct... All Changkyun struggles to do is maintain his balance as Kihyun moves his center of gravity from place to place. And without really knowing how, Changkyun finds himself tumbling forward and a little to the side, arms coming up and holding the hilt of a sword he recognizes, leg stretching out and keeping him away from an obvious edge as his body gives a slight spin.

The visceral sound of flesh splitting reaches his ears, something tumbling forward, falling forward, and then the flop of a cloak before there’s any actual sound. The seconds tick by before Changkyun hears a faraway thud.

“Are you alright?” Kihyun asks, suddenly clearly in front of Changkyun, hands on his cheeks. “Open your eyes for me.”

Changkyun hesitates, scared he’ll open his eyes and see nothing, but when he does, sure, Kihyun is blurred around the edges, the light from even just the candles far too sharp, but he can see him. At least a little, at least enough not to panic. 

He reaches up to hold the hand on his cheek as he nods, struggling to keep his eyes open. “I’m okay…” he whispers.

Kihyun seems to lean closer, forehead pressing against Changkyun’s. “You better…”

They stay like that until Changkyun opens his eyes and sees all of Kihyun’s freckles again, sees the candles shine without hurting him. 

This is going to be really fucking hard, isn’t it?

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  


There are more Cleric Warriors further into the depths, but Changkyun closes his eyes before they can blind him, and trusts Kihyun completely. It’s easier knowing Changkyun can sneak glances at those things. And, steadily, they make their way deeper, down into the catacombs of White Cathedral. 

When they reach the ground floor, Changkyun finds himself staring into a long, dark corridor. There seems to be nothing there except black. Not even one single candle in sight.

Back to being blind, then...

Kihyun changes back into himself, just one or two feet ahead, and glances back over his shoulder, hand slightly outstretched for Changkyun to take. He might be blind in here, but he won’t be alone. So he takes Kihyun’s hand and squeezes, falling into step as they walk into the dark unknown. 

“Ever think about what the world would look like if none of this was real?” Kihyun asks, then, probably to fill the empty silence that not even the sound of their footsteps is able to fill.

“All the time,” Changkyun says. “I used to wish I could go outside and look up at the stars. Maybe in that world, I could.”

“And not expect a vampire to sink its teeth in you.”

“Or a griffin to swoop down and steal me. Do you ever think about it?”

“Not really,” Kihyun admits. “After all, in a world without all of this, I might not even exist anymore.”

Changkyun thumbs at the back of Kihyun’s hand. Its disorientating, to walk in the dark like this, but he knows he’ll be fine if he keeps a hold of that hand.

“In a world without all this, you wouldn’t have been taken, either. You would have died hundreds of years ago, of old age, maybe, living as people do.”

“Maybe. As it is, I can’t really die.”

“Ever?”

“Not even when the sun swallows us. Not even when time eats itself away.”

Changkyun’s heart twists uncomfortably in his chest, so he squeezes Kihyun’s hand softly. 

“If you die,” Kihyun says quietly, like if he speaks too loudly, he will make the walls crumble, “What am I supposed to do?”

Changkyun pouts in the darkness, because _ shit _, that hurts to think about. Not dying, that’s okay, but leaving Kihyun on his own… Not to mention that it’s not like Kihyun has done this countless times. This is the first time he’s out of his own cage, the first time he’s bonded with someone. It must hurt him, too. 

“I… I don’t know, Ki. I don’t want to leave you alone…”

“That is kind of inevitable,” Kihyun scoffs. 

“I’m aware,” Changkyun sighs. “Would you want to? Die, I mean, when I do.”

“What’s the alternative? Three hundred years of nothing but a thirst I won’t be able to quench? A thousand of nothing more? You can barely stay still for a minute, imagine staying still for a thousand years. And if you die here, I doubt anyone will find me and set me free…”

Changkyun stops, reaching to find Kihyun’s other hand. “I’m being selfish with all of this, aren’t I…”

“Not really,” Kihyun mumbles. “You’re just being you. Can’t call you selfish for being yourself.”

“Yes, but… Worst case scenario for me is I die, and I won’t care, because I’ll be dead, but you…” Changkyun sighs, leaning forward, forehead finding a place on Kihyun’s shoulder. “You’ll be here, trapped and alone. I’m sorry…”

“It’s alright,” Kihyun says, leaning his head against Changkyun’s. “I’ve got nothing better to do, apparently. And you’d be here anyway, with or without me. So… obviously better if it’s with me.”

“Obviously,” Changkyun scoffs.

“Bet I can make your bones laugh,” Kihyun scoffs. “Half of your skeleton jaw falls to the floor and I say, _ jarring, right? I know.” _

Changkyun barks a small laugh and leans back, swats at Kihyun’s chest in the darkness. “God, you’re so fucking morbid.”

“Might have something to do with being dead.”

“A side-effect, I’m sure,” Changkyun smiles, glances to the side when something seems to shine. Like a light under a door, or a ray of sun between pitch dark clouds. “We might be close, looks like,” he mumbles, hand searching in the dark for Kihyun’s face. “One more kiss?” he asks, refuses to call it his last.

Kihyun kisses Changkyun’s forehead before ducking down to kiss his lips, lingering on the second more than the first. And Changkyun is grateful for it, for this momentary warmth in the cold, and kisses him back, pours in all the ‘I love yous’ he’ll make sure to say once they’re home.

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  


Changkyun has seen many different things, from good to bad. But as they exit the dark corridor where the light does not reach and step into the next hall, it becomes impossible to tell what is horizontal and what is relative position. It’s as if someone with an extravagant imagination drew up the place.

The walls are decorated in the most intricate details, gold infused into the stone. The stairway that leads down is mirrored in the ceiling, like whatever is up is a mirror of whatever is down.

_ As high above, as down below. _

The air feels humid, thick and filled with disease. The steps Changkyun takes echo in a way that brings chills up his spine. And once he goes down the immense stairway, his eyes dart down when he hears the crunch of bones cracking under his feet.

Not even the maddest poet could do justice to the sea of bones that extends until where the eyes cannot see. Not even the maddest poet could begin to describe the bloodied contraptions that hang from the walls.

There are nuances peculiar to the voices of men, and nuances peculiar to the voices of beasts. And it is terrible to hear the one when the source should yield the other as something seems to whimper in the distance.

Changkyun steps closer, ignores the sound beneath his feet as his eyes adjust to where the sound emanates. The center of it all. A massive, golden carved thrown, with a twisted face and limbs making patterns, and on it, the biggest creature Changkyun has ever seen. If that’s even what it is. A titan? A god? 

The thing cannot be described. There is no language in the world for such immemorial lunacy, for such abysses of shrieking darkness. But if Changkyun’s imagination pictures a human caricature that also looks like an octopus, or a dragon, it still doesn’t manage to be faithful to the spirit of the thing.

But the creature bleeds, in vines that twist like veins, up into darkness. And Changkyun’s own blood runs cold, because it’s too immense, too magnificent in its horror, for him to fully comprehend. 

It says a lot of the hubris of those before him, that they hadn’t just seen this and ran away as fast as they could. But instead they stayed, for they saw power, and instead of fearing it, respecting it, they wanted it.

Changkyun is so enthralled by the fearsome and unnaturality of it all that he barely notices Kihyun by his side until he speaks.

“We were right.”

“What did they do to it?” Changkyun asks, voice barely above a whisper.

“I don’t know,” Kihyun breathes. “But I have bad news…”

“Killing it is both impossible and--” Changkyun lets out a breath. He doesn’t _ want _to kill it, either, for some reason. As magnificent as it might look, it still looks entirely trapped. “Won’t work, will it…?”

Kihyun makes a face, but he can’t take his eyes off the thing. “This is obviously the source… whatever this is… But no, we can’t kill it. It’s… It’s immortal. Not in the physical realm but… Its spirit cannot die...”

“It’s still alive,” Changkyun says, finally tearing his eyes away to look at Kihyun. “What do we do..?”

Kihyun lifts his shoulders and shivers. “We can… try to dismantle this…? Although… I don’t know if this thing is friend or foe.”

Changkyun blinks, looking between Kihyun and the creature. “You’re immortal, too. If I can talk to you, then maybe--” Changkyun looks to the creature and takes a step forward, heart in his throat. “Not everything is always good or bad” he mumbles, remembers Kihyun’s words. “It’s always something in between.”

“If you want to speak to it,” Kihyun mumbles, “Then you can’t speak to its corporeal form. Mine died, too, remember? You wouldn’t be able to speak to my actual body, if you found it. It’s dead.”

“Yes, but you lived on in the weapons they tried to make you into, right? Look at this thing,” Changkyun gestures. “It’s the biggest weapon I’ve ever seen. With you, all I had to do was--” Changkyun laughs at himself, heart jumping wildly in his chest. “Touch.”

Kihyun reaches forward and grabs Changkyun’s wrist. “Don’t you fucking dare…” he almost growls, eyes a little wild, like fire. “You’ve seen what this thing’s blood does to people. What will it do to you if it possesses you…?”

“What do you suggest, then? We came all this way, the least I can try and be is kind. It’s a prisoner, too.”

Kihyun glares a little and looks down, fingers squeezing a little around Changkyun’s wrist. “Fair warning, I will kill you if it goes wrong…”

“Thank you,” Changkyun smiles, laughing a little when he hears it--_ I’ll kill you; oh, thanks! _\--leaning in to give Kihyun a quick kiss on the cheek. “For everything.”

Kihyun purses his lips together and frowns, fingers slowly going limp around Changkyun’s wrist until his hand falls to his side. He glares up at the massive entity in front of them before looking down and stepping closer, just one foot behind Changkyun.

Changkyun walks towards it, despite every instinct screaming at him to stop, despite wanting nothing more than to just go back to when ‘right now’ was soft kisses, or heated touches. He walks closer and his head spins, his vision blurs, and he’s vaguely aware of reaching out to touch the throne when everything goes dark.

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  


_ Non est princeps super leges, sed leges supra pricipem. _

“I think,” Changkyun swallows, somehow what feels like a long time ago, underneath the Black Cathedral. “This is it. Whatever it is.”

Jooheon blinks. “You know what’s weird?” he asks. “That it was a massacre, that there’s blood everywhere down here, but that there are no bones left…”

“Another thing not to think about,” Changkyun mumbles, eyes drawn to the center of the shrine. If that’s even what it is. It’s a stone sort of table, intricate carving behind it, statues surrounding it. There’s not a drop of blood, just a dagger. And it honestly looks just like every other dagger Changkyun has ever seen, but he can’t stop looking at it.

On both sides of the chamber, there are two corridors. One seems to lead West and the other seems to lead East. Jooheon slowly ambulates towards the left side of the room and sort of clings to the wall before noticing the blood splashed on it.

“I think that’s a… tank?” he says as he peeks into the room after the corridor. “There’s chains and… ropes? Shit… This…” He turns to look at Changkyun and then peeks into the corridor on the right side of the chamber. It seems to lead into another room. “What the hell…” Jooheon mutters as he walks towards whatever he’s looking at.

Changkyun, however, doesn’t pay him or anything else much mind, his eyes barely leaving the dagger on the stone table. It just sits there, as if someone left it there by mistake, placed it down and forgot about it.

“Uhm, hey, Kyun?” Jooheon calls from the room on the right. “I think you should come check this out…”

Changkyun steps closer to the table, because suddenly he just… wants to. Overwhelmingly, almost. “Mm? What is it?” Changkyun asks, as he lets himself get pulled into this center of gravity, blinking when the dagger glints in the light.

“This looks like a torture chamber of some sort? But also… medical? There are… cages? And cells. I’m… Are these… human tongues…? Gross! There are flasks with innards in here, what the hell!”

“Do you see a way out?” Changkyun asks, oddly unphased by the thought of human remains, tongues and innards. 

“I, er--” the sound of some flasks clicking echoes through the chamber. “Wait. Let me--”

Changkyun shivers, eyes shifting to his side because he could have sworn … Nope, nothing. And when he looks forward again, he hesitates, taking his own hand and stepping away, turning to walk into the next room to help Jooheon as he moves rocks out of the way.

“Careful,” Jooheon scoffs, “The whole thing might come crumbling down if we touch something we shouldn’t.”

“I’m always touching something I shouldn’t,” Changkyun teases, winking before glancing back at the dagger, shivering when it seems to look right back. 

Jooheon pauses to give him a look. “Yeah? Of course you are. You’re sinful like that.”

“Shh, this is a church,” Changkyun scoffs, and grabs Jooheon to move him back as the stones crumble, revealing a long corridor. “Great! Come on, then, I told you we’d be fine.”

Jooheon rolls his eyes and kicks lightly at a small stone before following after Changkyun. “What have we learned today? The Church was into some wicked shit back in the day.”

“Bold of you to assume they’re not anymore,” Changkyun says, throwing an arm around Jooheon’s shoulders. He spares one last look, back, at the dagger, feeling a shiver down his spine. _ Why does he feel watched by a dagger _? “Bye bye, creepy cathedral.”

With a blink, he looks away. And for a split second, something he thinks he dreams and quickly forgets, Changkyun sees Aureum from up above, shining with an unnatural light, streets stretching until buildings crumble as the city seems to explode in slow motion.

_ The Prince is not above the laws, but the law is above the Prince. _

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  


It’s nearly impossible to count how many suns pass. The only way to tell the days apart is through the moon, how if fades before it reappears and grows into a full, swollen thing in the sky. Changkyun stays within the Royal Palace’s walls for as long as he can take it. Which isn’t long, considering how restless he can get. But the month that he spends actually acting like he wants to be there, is made bearable by Jooheon’s constant visits and sleepovers.

That is until the night when the bells ring and, right after the dark settles, screams erupt through the Palace’s grounds.

Changkyun’s heart beats so loud in his ears he can barely hear the screams, and he scrambles to get to his mother’s room, guards finding him halfway there and surrounding him as far as he goes.

“Mother?” Changkyun asks, looking around once he’s in his parents’ room, sees his mother, pale and wide eyed, by the boarded up window. “What happened? What’s going on?”

“So--Something seems to have crossed the walls,” she gasps and shakes her head. “But it’s impossible, this is sacred ground, they shouldn’t--”

“They say one of the wards fell, Your Highness,” a guard says, and Changkyun walks to his mother to pull her into a hug, eyes on the guard.

“Check the remaining wards,” his mother says. “All of them. This is a mistake we shouldn’t be making in this day and age…”

“Yes, Your Majesty,” the guard says, looking to the guards to his side before turning to leave.

“Can the Church send Hunters?” Changkyun asks them, feels how his mother shakes in his hold. 

“We have already sent word, Your Highness,” the guard says. “Someone should be arriving soon, we hope.”

“Thank you,” Changkyun mumbles, gently leading his mother to the bed as the guards leave. He sees three more outside the door before it closes. “We’ll be fine, Mother…”

They stay for an indefinite amount of time. Eventually, Changkyun’s brother joins them and together they sort of try to make their mother laugh. Every now and then, Changkyun can hear the fall of every armored footstep right outside the door, but no one comes in, not until much later, when there is a knock on the dark wood.

“Your Majesty,” a guard calls, “Your Highnesses,” he opens the door just enough to slip through, feet joining in a loud step before he bows. “The problem has been taken care of. The Hunter sent by the Church is now meeting with the His Majesty The King in the Throne Room.”

“We’ll be there shortly,” Changwoo says, standing up as Changkyun looks to his mother.

“Stay here, rest,” he says, smiling softly at her. “I’ll be back afterwards.”

“Be careful,” she says, obviously still anxious.

“I will be,” he says, kissing her on the forehead before joining his brother, walking by his side.

They’re alright, but they’re royal, they had guards, they had help that came when they called. Most people? They don’t have any of that.

The Throne Room is crowded, Changkyun’s father on the Throne, a man standing in front of him, tall, wearing the cloth of the Hunters of Aureum, a Hunter’s hat with a feather on it atop his head. The man’s dark hair seems long enough to be tied at the back in a tiny ponytail that falls over the scarf he wears around his neck.

“Once the bells ring for the dawn,” the Hunter says, eyes dull but shifting between the faces in the crowd, “The clerics will come to check the perimeter and make sure everything is in order. In the meantime, if Your Majesty won’t mind, I’ll stay within the Palace’s grounds and keep an eye out. It would be unfortunate to have any more casualties.”

“Very well,” Changkyun’s father says. Changkyun knows how his father feels about the Church, so his tone doesn’t surprise him in the least. “Also, what are you called?”

“Chae Hyungwon, Your Majesty.”

“Chae Hyungwon… Do you have any idea who may have corrupted our wards?”

The Hunter looks down to fix one of his gloves. Changkyun notices the strange weapon hanging from the man’s waist. “Probably by mistake, I’d say,” the Hunter, Hyungwon, suggests before looking back up. “The ward seemed intact. I thought maybe someone might have knocked it down, but… everything was in place. The thing was still burning by the time I arrived. When I checked its contents, however, the incense had been tainted.” The Hunter looks to Changkyun’s father. “I doubt anyone within the ranks would do such a thing. You might want to check for signs of Pneumonia. Someone must have sneezed near the thing and corrupted it with blood. Vampires are some of the toughest creatures out there. One ward down is enough for them to consider a barrier passeable.”

Changkyun’s father looks a bit flabbergasted, but he nods. “We’ll… check the staff. Thank you.”

_ A vampire…? _

“How many people died?” Changkyun asks, then, taking a small step forward.

Everyone looks to him, including Hyungwon, who turns enough for Changkyun to spot the bloodied cloth bag hanging from his other side. _ Is it… the Vampire’s head…? _

“Two people,” Hyungwon says, “Your Highness. The carpenter and his son.”

“What…” Changwoo whispers nearby.

“No,” Changkyun shakes his head, taking steps back. “No no no.” It can’t be, not… not _ him _. 

Hyungwon turns to the King, then. “Incense masks the scent of blood and beasts. The rain won’t taint the wards, but it would be wise to secure them a little high up the walls, just in case.”

“Changkyun,” Changwoo whispers, reaching for his wrist, but Changkyun can barely feel it.

“It’s not them, it’s not him, it’s not Jooheon,” Changkyun says, shaking his head and weakly trying to get out of his brother’s grip, breath speeding up. “I have to go make sure he’s okay, I have to--”

“May I see the face of the creature that tried to purge these grounds?” the King asks.

Everyone seems to pause, even the whispers go a little quiet. The Hunter shifts a little, eyes going between the people in the crowd before they stop on Changkyun for a single moment and then move to the King.

It only takes a swift movement for the cloth bag to come undone, a head falling to the floor and rolling in front of the Hyungwon’s boots, long blonde hair like a veil, eyes still filled with something that doesn’t belong to the dead.

Changkyun falls to his knees, tears silent on his face. Because in a dream, in a nightmare even, he’s seen the face of that creature before. And he doesn’t know why but he remembers the pain the sight of it rolling on the ground had brought with it. 

“Don’t be deceived,” Hyungwon scoffs when the crowd gasps. “This thing could suck you all dry in five minutes if it dared to.”

“Changkyun,” Changwoo whispers again, this time reaching for his shoulder and kneeling next to him. “I’m so sorry, brother… I really am…”

His best friend is dead, and despite it being an incredibly irrational feeling to harbour, Changkyun can’t help but think, _ it’s all my fault _. 

For a split second, Changkyun blinks and sees the city of Aureum crumbling in a blinding light. And he remembers, thinks, _ I’ve seen this before_.

_ And I could have stopped it. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now playing: The Hunt Is Coming by Marcin Przybyłowicz.
> 
> [Youtube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y3LHx_AFzVA) / [Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/5RCUcFJcJTeCswnKIGH22l?si=DRgt7bbIQsqQa3NuiAs_hA)


	11. Obscuris Vera Involvens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things have meaning because they end. People care because there will come a time when caring will be impossible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Obscuris Vera Involvens - Truth Is Enveloped By Obscurity
> 
> [ cw for major character death ??? ]
> 
> Adding suggested song at the beginning for extra tears;
> 
> Now playing: The First Hunter by SIE Sound Team.
> 
> [Youtube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uZWpYGuqsHI) / [Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/33eoaqosKfgXYHd6HyYmPh?si=omQRuaFnSiWw4oKSf8CFbw)

_ “All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream.” _

Edgar Allan Poe

_ _ _ _

To grow older in a world where madness is everyone’s wine and bread takes a toll. Especially when nothing can be done about it. Not when Changkyun’s father passes away. Not when his brother goes mad with the burden of a crown far too heavy for one person alone. Because the truth is that the more time passes, the less of a Kingdom Aureum becomes, and more of a graveyard it shapes itself into.

Darkness eats the city away, crumbling stone into dust. Fires consume the streets beyond the walls. People go mad and make one last push against the scourge of beasts. But there’s no beating the beasts, there’s no beating this punishment the Church claims to come from God. And when the fires burn down their homes and the night finally comes, Changkyun has to pretend that he can’t hear the screams that echo all the way uphill and into his bedroom.

He’s been sleeping alone for years. No best friend. No father. A brother who needs to be locked up in a tower for his own good and will soon be taken somewhere by the Church. A mother who is slowly starting to give up, looking far more dead than alive, barely speaking a word.

Changkyun is King now. But he’s not a King with a Kingdom. He’s not the King of the Golden City. He is King of the Ashes. And, soon, King of Nothing.

Changkyun is King, and so very, very alone.

If fate is kind, then the Royal Palace will last long enough for him to die alone in his bed, and not by the hands of the things that claw at his walls every night.

Because there’s nothing he can do. Not about any of it. Not about the millions of people who have died, his family, of _ anything _ or _ anyone _. All he can do is wait to die, and in his darkest moments, he wishes for it, too.

Just one wish; death.

Tonight is no different, either. Tonight, he sits, watches as parts of the city burns in a fire that hasn’t washed down in weeks. There’s no one left to scream, at least. Just ashes turning into more ashes. Changkyun can do nothing more than bear witness.

He reaches up, touching softly at the back of his neck. He doesn’t know why, really, but sometimes it feels like he’s replacing something missing. The way he dreams of touches he’s never felt, ruby eyes he’s never seen. Perhaps it’s madness, too. But he feels less alone thanks to that.

Today, however, when hopelessness settles in and his heart wishes for something his mind can’t comprehend, a dark voice speaks inside his head;

_ “Thou hope flies away in a night or a day, in a vision or in none… Is it therefore the less gone?” _

Changkyun’s stomach bottoms out as he flies up, looking around with wide eyes. What was that? Has he gone completely mad, too, like his brother?

“Who is it?” Changkyun asks, voice wavering more than he’d like. “Who goes there?”

_ “I stand amid the roar of a surf-tormented shore, and I hold within my hand grains of the golden sand. Thou shall know the truth. And the truth shall make thee free.” _

“Truth?” Changkyun asks, heart jack-hammering in his chest. He spins himself around the room for a final look, but no, he’s alone. And the voice? It sounds too deep and vast to come from anyone except himself. “What truth?”

_ “The one that slips through thou fingers to the deep,” _ the voice says inside his head, picking at words and poems he’s read, others from futures yet undone, like picking at a soup letter inside Changkyun’s mind and trying to convey a message. _ “A somber sleep beneath where the black rises in towers that creep into the sky.” _

Changkyun staggers, when an image, clearer than anything, clearer than his own reflection in a mirror, stabs into his brain. 

_ And, oh, does he look like a deity--the perfect balance of danger and charm, he is at the same time fascinating and inaccessible, distant because of his demonstrated flawlessness, and possessing such strength of character that he is dismaying and at the same time utterly attractive in an enticing and forbidden way. _

“Kihyun,” Changkyun says, tasting the word, and it tastes familiar and so bitter-sweet. Changkyun knows the name, knows the face, but how? Where? When could he have known someone he’s never met?

_ “When the truth is enveloped by obscure things, all that is left is to make a wish.” _

“No one can touch you,” Kihyun had said, voice calm but strong. “No one will ever touch you again, if you don’t want them to.”

And suddenly, like ice cracking and Changkyun falling through into a cold darkness, everything makes sense.

“A dream within a dream,” Changkyun mutters, because he remembers. He remembers this life, but he also remembers the other one, the one where he could make a difference, where if he died, it would be for a reason; where he had a place to call home and people to care for; where he’d fallen in love and, with _ him _, could face anything at all. 

“A wish,” Changkyun breathes, to no one, not even the voice in his head. The voice, he thinks, must belong to the immortal being he had found, oh so long ago, in a place he never should have gone to. “He was a wish, too…”

Changkyun looks up, sees his own reflection, skin wrinkled, greying, old, tired. And he’s barely lived. And all he wants is to go back, to see himself young again, with a sword in hand, with the boy that wasn’t not a boy, who Changkyun loves so very much, forever. For this past, this future, is not where he belongs. He belongs in a ‘right now’ far gone, so he wishes for it. He wishes for ‘right now’, and when he closes his eyes, he sees Kihyun’s face, and knows he could never regret it or all the things he wants to fight for.

_ _ _ _

The coastline has no beaches. The land meets the ocean directly, with a fall of stony scree. Beneath, the waves crash against the thickest rocks. Up above, the sun takes on an orange tone as it begins its descent into the horizon.

Kihyun looks at the sunset and thinks he’s seen prettier ones. Red, like the blood living creatures spill for him. Alive, like the person sitting next to where he stands, back against a rock, eyes serene and on the horizon as well.

“You’re not getting up from there, are you?” Kihyun asks, glancing over. Somehow, for the past few months, he’s always expected this day to come, creeping into the comfort he’s allowed himself and announcing that it’s time to let go.

“Not really, no,” Changkyun says, voice hushed with age, one of his eyes nearly blue with how blind it is. “What can I say… It’s a beautiful sunset.”

Kihyun makes a face and looks back to said sunset. “Not to be rude and all, but I’ve seen better.”

“Let me guess,” Changkyun says, coughs and then coughs some more, making Kihyun patiently wait for the rest. “Re--Red like the blood of your enemies?”

“What enemies,” Kihyun scoffs, slowly kneeling down and sighing. “Immortal beings such as I have no enemies…”

Changkyun keeps his eyes on the setting sun, the oranges that reflect off the sea making him look almost a few years younger than he actually is. When he smiles a little, he smiles quite a lot lately, Kihyun has to smile, too. It’s annoying, but it isn’t forced. It’s just a response, because at the end of the day, to smile means to be happy, even if it’s fake.

“Don’t think so highly of yourself,” Changkyun says, coughs again. It sounds like it hurts. “You do have one enemy.”

“Care to enlighten me, Daisy flower?”

“Time.”

Kihyun raises an eyebrow and takes a deep breath as he gives himself a moment for the uncomfortable feeling inside his chest to settle. He watches Changkyun’s face, every mole, every crease on his skin, every wrinkle. Even after all this time, even now at the very end, Changkyun is sort of beautiful.

“Spoilsport,” Kihyun mutters when he averts his gaze to the sunset, sees how it melts fast into the sea, turning just a little more orange and becoming bearable to look at.

He can’t really complain, can he? Because Changkyun is right. They’ve been fighting for years and they’ve barely scratched the surface of all the things he wanted to uncover. And while to Changkyun his enemies looked like stuff made out of nightmares, to Kihyun his one single enemy has always been time.

Time eats everything, except him. And now… now time is up.

The blazing sun descends, burns the sky in a powerful mix of amber and blood-red. The dying sunlight seeps out behind the thin line of the horizon, still determined to burn bright until the very end despite having become one with the waters.

The wind comes and makes the grass tousle around their boots, at Changkyun’s legs, at his hands, and he spreads his shaking fingers on it as if to feel it. Kihyun watches him instead of watching everything else, watches the way he exhales a little slower, eyelids batting a little heavier, crystalline eye losing a bit of colour to match his brown one.

“It’s time,” Changkyun breathes out, then, and Kihyun looks down, lips pursing together when his chest feels tight. He nods and takes a slow breath, shifting a little closer. “Will it hurt?” Changkyun asks.

“What…?” Kihyun glances up, meets his eyes and shakes his head. “No… Of course not. I’d never hurt you.”

Changkyun smiles a little, in a fond way.

Kihyun would have never known that grief was something that comes in waves, gruelling, stealing. Like a shard stuck somewhere inside his chest, a sharp little thing that doesn’t seem to want to go away, though perhaps in time the edges will dull.

Right now, however, it feels as if his whole chest has shattered, even if he tries not to let it show as he gets even closer, takes Changkyun’s necklace from his neck and puts it in his hands that he joins over his lap. It used to belong to his mother, Kihyun remembers Changkyun saying so before.

“Anything else you want the world to know?” Kihyun asks just in case, smiling at nothing in particular as his hand lingers over warmth for a moment longer. He’ll miss it. He’ll miss all of it.

“Hm,” Changkyun hums. “Just one thing, although I think you already know…”

Kihyun rolls his eyes and looks up. “Yes, I already know,” he says, and he can’t help it if he looks a little sad for a split second, before he leans in and kisses Changkyun’s forehead. It still smells like him, because of course it does. “Close your eyes?”

“Haven’t heard you say that in a while--”

Kihyun huffs a laugh and closes his own. “I swear…”

“Closed… They’re closed.”

“Good,” Kihyun says, takes a breath and lets himself go a little, first his hands, then his arms and finally the rest of him, all but a mist that still lingers close to where it’s warm. And funnily enough, even though like this he doesn’t have a chest to hurt, it still hurts, somewhere deep in a proud soul.

“I love you,” Changkyun breathes out and Kihyun feels the beating heart at the back of his mind slow down a little. So, he phases just enough to be nothing but a ghost, a familiar old yet bland dagger in his hand, something once shiny enough to catch a random boy’s eye.

_ “I told you, I know,” _ Kihyun whispers. _ “I love you, too.” _ Because he does, even though he never got to say it before. _ “And I will miss you dreadfully.” _

It’s a dagger to the heart. It goes in with effort, like every other dagger, like every other blade. But it’s the first time Kihyun hates the strength it takes to push it in. It’s the first time his breath falters when he does. It’s the first time he feels so far gone and sad that he actually cries.

He leans into the warm as it mists closer to his hand and then up his arm. A soul once promised to him, pure enough, innocent enough, loved enough. And, with one last breath, one last lingering touch, Kihyun feels himself fall.

It’s familiar. All of it is familiar. The fall that doesn’t end until he closes his eyes. The darkness that surrounds him when he opens them again, barely aware that they’re still spilling tears all over his face.

The day finally dips into the night and the moon rises full in the horizon, casting its light upon a sword that digs slightly into the ground, a Hunter’s scarf once belonging to an old friend around the hilt, flapping in the wind.

In the darkness, Kihyun lets himself lie down against the rippling floor, turning slightly on his side and pressing himself against the one way mirror as much as he can. He keeps his eyes on Changkyun, unable to look away. He watches over him as the night gives place to day and the sun circles around so many times he loses count. He watches over when the birds come, hates them for taking bits away but takes comfort in knowing there is nothing left in that vessel. That all that he could care for is now with him. He watches until the tides change yet again, until the grass withers away, leaving only rock. He watches until the snow comes and then goes. And keeps watching when there’s nothing but bones.

Fragments on the floor. That’s how he feels. And he can’t tell if the wetness on his face is because his eyes haven’t stopped leaking yet or if it’s because they’re leaking _ again. _

When they do stop, however, a hungry feeling presses against the back of his head and Kihyun is reminded yet again that he has one single purpose; to kill.

He ignores the voice that wants to drive him mad until he can’t anymore. And, once it takes over, he gives one last glance at the necklace he can still recognize between bones and then turns away, back to the rippling floor, eyes on the abyss.

Hunger eats away at him. He doesn’t know for how long he hits the back of his head against that one way mirror, trying to focus on whatever is to come, if there is something to come. And when the winters and summers have changed months, when the Earth seems to have turned upside down and the sun sets further east than it did before, steps crunch against the rock.

Kihyun pauses and stares into the darkness. Slowly, carefully, he glances back over his shoulder, sees a leather long coat floating with the breeze, a woman with dark hair not too far away from him. _ A Hunter…? _

It’s with some sort of unexpected anger that Kihyun smiles a little and whispers to the wind; _ “It is not dead which can eternal lie; And with time even Death may die. Ten steps West, five steps North; Extend your hand and let death come forth…” _

To imagine that it would take almost four hundred years for someone to walk these grounds, for someone to take the hilt of that sword and let Kihyun consume them. But when he does, he learns two things; the dark ages have not passed, and there is still work to be done.

The most merciful thing would be the inability of people to correlate all the contents of the world. To live in ignorance, unknowing that once the gods came from the stars and waged war upon the land, unknowing that beneath the grounds of White Cathedral lies an old god, plunged into a deep slumber, unknowing that the first men found this creature, formed a cult and worshipped it in ways no man should, unknowing that in their greed, this cult hid in the darkness until it grew into what men call Faith, using a magic that should belong to no one as a means to power.

The Church was right, in a way. The scourge of beasts is a punishment. But not from god. It is simply the way things are, the price to pay for misusing something beyond human comprehension.

“Why did the Hunters split?” Kihyun asks, crouching to pick up the necklace from between a pile of broken bones and rock, letting himself become one with it.

“Some still follow the Church,” Siyeon says, tugging at her ponytail and fixing the Hunter hat over her head, “Others follow him,” she tilts her chin at the pile of bones. “Or a School made in his name, rather.”

Kihyun stands up and glances over. “Right…” _ So it wasn’t all for nothing… _

“Let’s go,” Siyeon says, carefully stepping over the rocks and bowing her head just slightly at the pile of bones on the ground.

Kihyun looks down, realizes he feels nothing at all, and walks away, slowly misting away and around the woman’s neck as he turns into a necklace. _ “Let’s go…” _

“Thought you’d be far more bloodthirsty,” Siyeon says. And when she speaks again, it isn’t her voice, _ “Thou hope flies away in a night or a day, in a vision or in none… Is it therefore the less gone?” _

Kihyun looks into the abyss and frowns. “What…?”

_ “I stand amid the roar of a surf-tormented shore, and I hold within my hand grains of the golden sand. Thou shall know the truth. And the truth shall make thee free.” _

“I am already free,” Kihyun mutters, looking away.

_ “Thee are not wrong, who deem that thou days have been a dream.” _

Kihyun frowns, presses his cheek against the rippling floor. “What do you mean…?”

_ “In parting from thee, a kiss upon the brow, in a night, or in a day, in a vision, or in none, is it therefore the less gone? All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream.” _

“Then I’d rather die.”

_ “Death cannot die.” _

Kihyun closes his eyes and sighs. “I don’t care… I don’t care about anything.”

“And if you could?” Siyeon asks. “If you could care again, would you?”

“Maybe… if we could have lived forever, maybe.”

“When the truth is enveloped by obscure things, all that is left is to make a wish.”

A wish. Kihyun doesn’t have anything to wish for right now, in this future within the present. But maybe, if he thinks back, pulls through hundreds of years of nothing and tries to think back to when he had something to look forward to, a purpose other than to kill for the sake of killing, then maybe he can conjure a wish, like he did before, too, the day he died.

“A wish,” he says, opening his eyes. “I just wish I could have told him before we ran out of time.”

“Told him what?” Siyeon asks, reaching up to touch the pendant of the necklace. Kihyun almost feels himself shiver with the warmth.

“That I love him.”

Siyeon stops walking, lets her hand fall. “Even after all this time?”

Kihyun wants to scoff. “Can’t let time win, can I?” 

_ So, always. _

Until the world is plunged into darkness, and maybe even then.

_ _ _ _

Changkyun wakes up with a gasp, like consciousness was shoved into the middle of his chest, filling his lungs and squeezing his heart. There is darkness all around, a pile of bones beneath him. And even though this hall of gods is big enough to fit something as big as Black Cathedral, the walls seem to be pressing in on him.

He coughs, and it hurts but it’s good, it’s a good hurt, because it centers him, reminds him where he is. It’s hard to get to his feet, bones rolling and cracking under his soles, but he manages, swaying as he looks around.

It doesn't feel like waking up from a dream; it feels like waking up from a whole other existence. Like this place is an old memory he’s returned to, instead of simply where he’d collapsed when--

He whips around at the thought, eyes wide on the massive deity in front of him. The vines of blood are stone. Stone can’t bleed. And it’s difficult to describe, but Changkyun feels… better. At ease. Bigger, somehow, on the inside. 

“Kihyun?” he calls out, looking around, coughing again, a fist to his chest.

It’s faint but a shadow seems to float closer. Changkyun feels Kihyun’s hands shove him away a little before he sees Kihyun in front of him, this time seeing how he pushes him.

“You idiot,” Kihyun says, but it barely sounds like him. He pushes Changkyun again and almost makes him trip. “You fucking idiot!”

“What?” Changkyun blinks, too confused and relieved to see Kihyun to understand why Kihyun is doing this.

Kihyun bites at his lower lip and shoves at Changkyun again. It’s hard to recall ever seeing this much emotion on Kihyun’s face, maybe because it barely seems like it belongs there. He whips around to glare at the massive deity, then.

“Take it back!” he yells.

“Kihyun, what are you doing?” Changkyun asks, reaching out to touch at his shoulder, which Kihyun rolls to step further away and closer to the creature. 

“I said,” he growls, fingers curling a little as five or six swords appear behind him, spinning slowly in a perfect circle. _ “Take it back!” _ He barely fades as he turns as if to throw something and the swords speed up towards the creature, towards the vines on the stone, cutting through flesh like it’s the easiest thing to do.

But the creature doesn’t budge. Which only seems to anger Kihyun even more.

“It--” Changkyun blinks, a confusing feeling in his chest. “It granted my wish, didn’t it…”

Kihyun’s lower lip trembles and he looks down. _ “Our _ wish… It only worked because I wished it, too. Because--” he glares up at the creature and kicks at the bones under his feet, “It _ tricked _me…”

“You dreamed, too?” Changkyun asks, holding his own hand in front of his chest. 

“Of the future…”

“I changed the past, in mine,” Changkyun mumbles, looking at his own hand. It doesn’t look any different, but if what Kihyun says is true… “Which changed the future, but…”

“I killed you in our future, before you died of old age.”

Changkyun swallows, fingers curling into a fist before he slowly lets it fall, taking a small, stumbling step forward. Because that’s it, isn’t it? That’s why he feels so much bigger, why Kihyun is so angry.

“I guess, now… You won’t have to.”

“Have to what…?” Kihyun breathes out. “Watch you wither away with the passing time? There’s two types of death, Changkyun. At least there you kept your soul intact until the very end, even if it was with me after you died. You have no idea what forever can do to someone…”

“I know it’s worse if it’s spent alone,” Changkyun says softly. “Please don’t… resent me for this. It may have tricked you, but I knew what I was asking for. Even if not as much as you know about it, I suppose, but… Look at me? Please?”

Kihyun keeps his eyes down, however, even when a few tears spill and fall down to the bones on the ground. “I just… I just wanted to tell you that I love you… It didn’t matter if you died in the end, I just… I just wanted to--” he sniffles and cries, a hand coming up to rub at his eyes and nose. 

Changkyun’s heart feels so impossibly tight, eyes burning as he moves closer. Carefully, he reaches out, hands soft on Kihyun’s face, thumbs wiping away the tears as they fall.

“It’s okay,” Changkyun whispers. 

Kihyun just turns a little and lets his head tip forward, hides his face in the crook of Changkyun’s neck. “It’s not… It’s not…”

Changkyun holds him close, a hand soothing over Kihyun’s hair as a tight feeling wells up in his throat, behind his eyes. “We’ll figure it out, my love. We have all the time in the world. It’ll be okay.”

Kihyun presses his face against Changkyun and sniffles one last time before letting out a slow, deep breath through his mouth. He lifts his hands to Changkyun’s waist, holding onto him just enough not to tip to the side when he lifts his head a little, nose and lips still clinging to Changkyun’s skin.

They stay still for an indefinite amount of time. What _ was _ starts to fade into a subconscious memory of a dream, even though past emotions linger like it was real.

_ Is this really real? Or is this a dream within a dream within a dream? _

“Saw one of your descendants,” Kihyun mumbles, shattering the silence. “From your brother’s side. She looked just like you.”

Changkyun smiles small. “Yeah? I wouldn’t really call them dreams, then…” He shivers, remembering his own. “We still need to get out of here before the wards fall, but--” He looks to the throne. “I think we did it.”

“What, exactly…?” Kihyun leans back, eyes red around the rubies in them, cheeks a little pink. He sniffles and reaches up to rub at his nose before looking up. “This thing is still here.”

Changkyun turns to look back to Kihyun, smiling soft. He’s beautiful when he cries, but that doesn’t mean Changkyun wants him to. “Most of the veins are gone, look,” Changkyun says, pointing to a wall, where half of the veins are stone.

“Still, I don’t like the idea that a remnant of this could be found and used again.”

“What do you suggest? We cave the place in?”

Kihyun glances at Changkyun’s chest for a moment and then looks back up. “I can… kill it now, I think. If the state it’s in can be considered living.”

Changkyun blinks. “Why now, suddenly? Did something change?”

“It’s how I knew,” Kihyun says, pointing blindly at Changkyun’s chest, “Its immortal spirit is within you now. The person, thing you spoke to in your dream… You were in a dream within this thing’s dream. You spoke to a conscience, just like I did.”

Changkyun narrows his eyes. “Are you just trying to make me mortal again?”

Kihyun scoffs and laugh and glances over. “If I could make anyone mortal I would have tried it on myself first, don’t you think…? Even if I pierced your heart with the biggest cleaver I have, it wouldn’t work. Lucky you,” Kihyun looks away. “I can’t take your soul now. I guess it doesn’t belong to me anymore.”

“Can’t be, because,” Changkyun runs his hands down Kihyun’s arms, takes his hands. “You’re still right here.”

Kihyun rolls his eyes, “You make no sense to me sometimes, Daisy flower.”

Changkyun smiles, kissing Kihyun’s cheek before stepping back. “I trust you. Do what you think is best.”

Kihyun looks at Changkyun’s face and then slowly steps back, away from the creature, pulling Changkyun with him. “No,” Kihyun says, misting into some sort of smoke before it ebs away. _ “You do you what you think is best. _”

“Last time I did that, you shoved me,” Changkyun mutters, frowning at his hand, a strange instinct settling in before he sees a sword simply mist into his hand. “Did you do that…?”

_ “In a way. To put it in your terms… We did that.” _

Changkyun smiles down at the sword, weighed perfectly in his hand, before looking up at the creature. It still boggles him how little his brain can process what he sees. He looks around, then, biting at his bottom lip. 

_ It feels wrong, for some reason. To kill it… _

He looks up, addresses it directly. “Are you the only one?” he asks, unsure if he’ll get an answer.

_ “Does it matter?” _ Kihyun asks. _ “Its spirit is with you. This is just a shell.” _

“Because there may be more places like this,” Changkyun mutters, frowning. 

_ “Then we’ll find them. And make sure no one gets their hands on things that shouldn’t be meddled with. It’s not like we don’t have time.” _

Changkyun smiles to himself, fingers itching before he walks over, throwing the sword to cut through the veins leading up, another sword quickly appearing by his other side, floating just slightly as if waiting for him to either wield it or order it. And the more swords Changkyun throws, the more appear by his side, like all he needs is to flick his wrist, think where he wants them to be, and they’ll fly to meet their destiny.

It’s a powerful feeling, to be doing this. But he uses it, cuts the creature loose completely until nothing leads from it up to the cathedral. 

“I get the feeling,” Changkyun says, spinning the sword once in hand. “That the moment I kill this thing, the city will crumble along with it…”

_ “Is it a very strong feeling? Because if so then I’d suggest being careful. There’s two of you inside you now, might be the thing doing the talking…” _

Changkyun shivers. “I want it out.”

_ “It can be three of us, if you really think about it--” _

“Abso_ lutely _not,” Changkyun says, aiming sword up at the creature’s heart--or, well, where it should be--and hesitates.

A very, very strong feeling.

He looks up, knows there’s an entire city up there, full of people. People he’s been trying so, so hard to save.

“How can I do this?” he asks, heart heavy as the sword falls a little limp by his side, arm giving in. “The ground itself is tainted, I can feel it,” he mumbles, looking down. And he saw it, too, in that future that never happened; Aureum is already too far gone. Madness is in the soil itself and nothing can save it now. Nothing. Except, maybe this.

_ “Are you asking for my opinion, or are you asking for what I want to tell you…?” _

“Shush,” Changkyun laughs softly, chest hollow. In his mind, he says Hyungwon, Hoseok, Minhyuk, Shownu, Jooheon, Arrate, his family… He might not be able to get them out in time. Is it worth it? He looks up, again, at the giant creature, takes a small step forward. “If any part of you is still in there,” he mumbles. “Give us some time. Just enough. Not to save everyone, just…” He sighs, then, remembers the graveyard Aureum becomes. If he doesn’t try to save them now, time will take them, anyway. “Fuck it,” he says, then.

_ “Not inclined.” _

With a scoff, Changkyun throws the sword and watches it dig in. “Come on,” he says immediately, watching as the walls start crumbling, the creature’s flesh turning darker and darker as he takes steps backwards. “We have to get them out before the city falls into a pit.”

_ “Not like we’d die if we didn’t get out in time, but I’m already three steps ahead.” _

There’s the sound of rocks falling against rocks, stone cracking like the sound of thunder close by. Changkyun huffs as he starts running, heart beating loud when he feels the slight pull of gravity beneath one of his feet, the floor shattering beneath him and falling slowly into some sort of abyss behind him.

One of the walls splits from the others and falls right in front of him, right over the stairs, but Changkyun doesn’t stop running, climbing over whatever he can, knowing very well that if he stops, he falls.

It will take time to get used to the fact that he won’t die, considering his instincts still scream at him like even the slightest breeze will sweep his life away.

Kihyun reappears by the entrance and takes Changkyun’s hand, rushing him towards the first of many flights of stairs. “Don’t stop. Not even to look back--_ I’m with you.” _

That’s what Changkyun holds onto as screams and the sound of stone collapsing behind him propel him forward, as his legs beg at him for reprieve, but he doesn’t stop, not even when he’s crawling himself out of the trap door they’d once gone down. Because underneath them, the earth is falling in on itself, as everything soon will.

Changkyun runs, and Kihyun quickly kills anything that could possibly get in his way, before he’s banging on Minhyuk’s door. 

“Minhyuk!” he practically screams, panting, lungs burning. 

In the distance, more thunder, and when Changkyun looks he sees the tallest tower of White Cathedral sway, the bells ringing when it does. It makes his heart jump and beat even faster, faster again when the earth shakes under his feet.

Minhyuk doesn’t open the door and peeks through the window, his face barely illuminated by the lantern of incense right outside. He makes a questioning face at Changkyun.

“The city is falling,” Changkyun says through heavy breaths. “We have to get out, _ right now _.”

Minhyuk makes another face and mouths a ‘what’ through the glass. But he jumps together with Changkyun when something louder than thunder snaps. Minhyuk pastes himself to the window and Changkyun turns to look. Even Kihyun mists into himself a little, eyes wide on how the pinacle of White Cathedral topples, bells screaming their last song, the earth behind the church lifting tall like a giant in the sky, like it’s turning itself upside down before it falls into the abyss.

“Minhyuk,” Changkyun says, eyes wide. “_ Now _.”

Minhyuk pushes away from the window and rushes inside. In the distance, Changkyun can hear screams. Closer, he can see people by their windows, eyes on the destruction that approaches.

There are howls of monsters, rabid dogs rushing down the street, and Kihyun tsks before disappearing again. It’s only a second before knives rain from the sky and pierce through the pack of dogs like it’s nothing, their decaying bodies splitting in pieces.

Changkyun hears the locks being and done and is beyond relieved to see Minhyuk and Arrate, both looking quite scared. 

“What’s… What’s going on…?” Arrate asks.

“I stopped it, but the city won’t survive it, and hell, it shouldn’t,” Changkyun says, rushing in to the stairs. “Grab anything you literally can’t stand to lose, we have to get out before we all fall into the goddamn abyss. Where’s Hyungwon?”

“He’s, uhm--” Minhyuk seems to be panicking, but he pulls Arrate, who’s clearly frozen as she looks at what’s coming towards them, and shoves a bag into her arms. “Erm, the, the money, the money and--” he rushes to the kitchen. “He’s at Wonho’s!”

Changkyun nods, before rushing up the stairs, into Jooheon’s room. “Joo, we gotta go,” Changkyun says but nobody’s here. Of course. Of course not, his father is at the Palace, he’d… Shit. _ Shit _. Changkyun rushes back down, sees Minhyuk stuffing food into a bag.

_ “I’ll find them,” _ Kihyun whispers.

“Please,” Changkyun says, heart heavy. 

_ “I’d say be careful, but what’s the point...” _

Changkyun huffs a small laugh before the building shakes with another harsh quake crashing in the distance. It should be okay; this city is diseased. But many people will die. So many. And that’s never okay. He can only hope they’ll see what’s coming and run, as fast as they can. There’s nothing else he can do. And it’s selfish, but he’s sure as hell going to make sure his friends are safe.

Changkyun moves to help Arrate as she stuffs money and medicine into a bag, pale as a sheet. In the distance, he hears the silver bells start to ring. The Palace? He hopes so. God, he hopes so.

“We’ll be fine,” Changkyun assures her, before moving over to Minhyuk, whose hands are shaking a little.

“Hyungwon will know what’s going on, he’ll get them out,” Changkyun says, like he’s reassuring himself as well.

“And Shownu…?” Minhyuk asks, then, pausing with utter horror on his face.

“Shownu is his friend, too,” Changkyun says, swallowing. “I can’t go into those tunnels to get to him, they’ve probably already collapsed.”

Minhyuk nods and goes back into stuffing things in his bag. “Alright…”

If only immortality could be shared…

_ _ _ _

There are voices inside Kihyun’s head; the many Changkyun had throughout the years they didn’t live together but also did, and Kihyun’s own voice. In a way, despite how terrible everything was in the end, even if those memories are starting to fade, like dreams tend to after waking up, Kihyun can’t help but feel content.

Unhappy are those to whom the memories of childhood bring only fear and sadness, and Kihyun has always considered himself to be one of the unhappy ones, even if unhappiness is more of a neutral state than anything else. But looking back, thinking of the small conversations, the happy ones, the sad ones, the angry ones, the ones that will probably never happen for real and that he will eventually forget about, and the ones that will happen again because they are who they are, Kihyun feels… happy.

There is beauty in death, for more reasons than the ones Kihyun could perceive at first. Things are beautiful because they end. And those that last beyond their time are relics even in their own ugliness. Things have meaning because they end. People care because there will come a time when caring will be impossible.

In a way, Kihyun hopes that whatever transpired, whatever has changed won’t change Changkyun, too, in the long run. Because Changkyun cares deeply, about everything. He cares to the point he made a heartless person like Kihyun think he could care about something, too. But time isn’t kind. Forever isn’t kind. And when things don’t end, they change.

So, Kihyun hopes, _ prays _ for Changkyun to always remain a seeker, a dreamer, a ponderer with a pure heart. Because that’s what Kihyun loves the most about him.

_ And again, _ Kihyun thinks to himself, _ Yoo Kihyun, you forgot to tell him… _

Maybe some things never change…

The landscape does, however. In a way that strikes dread even in Kihyun’s mind. This is a new kind of horror, unlike anything he’s seen so far. Because Aureum has always been a constant, since the day he was born until now, hundreds of years later (even the ones he lived but didn’t). And there are horrors that are beyond him, too, peering over the rim into a fathomless chaos of eternal night that stretches beneath the city.

An abyss.

It’s almost strange to see beasts and people run in the same direction. The beasts can’t decide if to run, if to hunt. The people can’t decide what they’re more afraid of. And even though it’s pointless to save these people, Kihyun does anyway. Just so at least they can die hoping they’ll leave, and not scared of two things at once.

He flows by houses that are still closed, people just clinging to each other inside their rooms. And when the ground cracks beneath him, he lets the wind take him up hill, over the walls that tremble around the Royal Palace, where everything has fallen into another type of chaos.

Left overs of blood mist all the way up to Kihyun as he tries to see through the crowd, tries to find who he’s looking for. He doesn’t find Jooheon, but he finds someone almost as important. And it takes everything, really, not to stand by and watch when one of the walls cracks loudly and crumbles, rocks as big as houses tumbling over the scared crowd and rolling.

It takes nearly everything, because it’s so very difficult to escape what he truly is; _ death. _

And yet he still lets himself fall, just in time to pierce more than fifty swords into the ground, making a path that stops the giant rocks in their place.

When he feels the dirt under his hands and looks over his shoulder, Changkyun’s brother is safe.

_ One. Four left to find. _

_ _ _ _

They make it over the bridge right before it collapses. It’s not the only exit, but the closest one, the easiest one. 

People always talk about the fall of empires, of cities. But this is painfully literal, with how the earth seems to just swallow everything up in a blinding light that feels familiar but quickly fades. 

Where there once was a city, now there is just… nothing. A black pit, where nothing could possibly survive. Not a god, nor any monster. Perhaps just Changkyun and Kihyun, but they stand far away, on a hill overlooking what they’ve done, and Changkyun feels it sink in.

Everyone is gathering close by, friends recognising each other, food being shared, people crying in the arms of others. But Changkyun just stares.

“I did this,” he says, voice barely above a whisper. “I… I killed so many people…”

_ “You saved more now than you did in the past future you lived.” _

“I know, I just…” Changkyun walks a little closer, before he feels himself just slowly sink to the ground to sit down. “Maybe I could have--could have done something different, warned more people, I don’t… I don’t know…”

Something warm and familiar caresses against his cheek. _ “Wars have been waged for the sake of change. Kings have been overthrown because of their tyranny or simply because they spent far too much money. In all of these cases, actions taken to correct a problem are sometimes worse than the problem itself. But only in the moment. Never in the long run.” _

Changkyun leans to the side, knows Kihyun will bear his weight, feeling him there. He moves close, face against Kihyun’s chest. He’s crying, but he can’t help it. No matter what, so many died at his hand.

“You said you met my ancestor in a dream… In that world, were things still bad? Do you think I changed things enough to justify all this…?”

Kihyun leans his cheek against Changkyun’s head. “In that future… You never killed ‘God’. We walked away and chose to fight, like we’ve always done. You were seventy five years old when you died. And you chose to do it by the sea, because Aureum was too plunged in darkness for you to bear to look at it…” Kihyun brings his arms around Changkyun. “I waited… for four hundred years. And when I finally saw someone again… the world was still as it is today, if not worse. The Church had split in two, one following the original creed, the other following your footsteps. And Hunters began to come from all parts and cities to fight their way through Aureum. That’s… that’s what I was going to do, before I woke up.”

Changkyun sniffs, finding it easier to take even breaths. “It’s not just Aureum… We have so much more waiting for us out there, don’t we…”

“Maybe,” Kihyun mumbles, “But if you want a piece of advice from someone who’s far more used to this than you… Then… worry about the people you care for first. They will pass, you will stay. There will be time to do what must be done…”

Changkyun nods, arms up around Kihyun. “Okay…” he pulls away just enough to look up at him. “You still need to, well, breathe, though…”

Kihyun’s eyes search Changkyun’s face. “I’m certain I’ll be fine. Besides, if it gets bad, I trust myself enough to know it won’t bother you much, whatever happens.”

Changkyun pouts. “I thought it would feel different, being, well, like _ this _. I just feel like me, still.”

“I’d spend the rest of my life stabbing you if you felt any different,” Kihyun says and it almost sounds playful.

Changkyun giggles, hand up to touch at Kihyun’s hair. “Maybe every now and then,” Changkyun teases. “Just to remind me.”

“Ten points through each kidney,” Kihyun says, nuzzling in, “Twenty through the stomach. Fifty through the heart. And if I get a headshot then I win.”

“What would you win that’s worth your time if I have a bullet in my head, huh?” Changkyun teases, placing a quick kiss on Kihyun’s nose. 

“I suppose I--”

“Changkyun!” Jooheon calls, and Kihyun sighs and fades away just in time for Jooheon to take his place, kneeling to the floor to hug Changkyun. “Goddamn you!”

Changkyun laughs, a little surprised but mostly just happy. So fucking happy. Whatever this world is, and that world was, this one has Jooheon in it. “Glad to see you, too, Joo.”

Jooheon pulls away, eyes wide on his. “You--” he lowers his voice but whispers aggressively, “Next time warn me before you blow up the fucking city!”

“I didn’t exactly plan to!” Changkyun defends, just keeps smiling. Because he remembers that world in which he lives without his best friend for so many years, and he never, ever wants to go back.

Jooheon hugs him again, before another voice sounds over all the others.

“Changkyun!” his mother calls. And when Changkyun looks up, he sees his brother, too, broken arm close to his chest, wrapped in a white cloth and hanging from his neck.

It feels like years upon years since he last saw them, and his eyes water so quickly it surprises him. He gets up, running over to practically lift his mother in a hug.

“Mom,” Changkyun chokes out through a small cry. She feels so much smaller than he remembers.

Some people look at them but spare them little mind. But in the distance, among a group of children, Changkyun spots Arrate and Shownu. Hyungwon and Wonho are not too far away, the latter busy helping people out with their wounds. And Minhyuk is busy lowkey arguing with the few clerics that made it out.

When Changkyun looks to the horizon, towards the rising sun, he sees his father, alone, looking at what was once the city he’d sworn to protect. He seems pale, barely there at all, and Kihyun isn’t far behind, simply standing a few feet away, eyes on the King.

That… Can’t be good. 

Changkyun swallows the uneasy feeling, walking closer. It’s been so long since he saw his father… And the last time he did, it was just before the Church took him away, just after he almost killed his own brother. He wonders if he’ll ever be able to make up for that.

“Hey, dad,” Changkyun says, standing to his side, glancing at him uncertainly.

His father's eyes don’t leave the chasm of nothing that lies ahead. “I think… I owe you an apology, son…”

“You don’t,” Changkyun says, voice low. “You really don’t…”

The King takes a deep breath. “Do you think… we could have done better? Did we sin so much God brought the end of the world to us? Aureum used to be golden… But every day I looked out my window and saw black and grey. I thought that what made it golden was the people. Because the people of Aureum are good people… And yet…”

“The soil itself was tainted, father,” Changkyun says, taking a breath. “I’m sorry this had to happen, but I assure you, it did.” He looks to his father, recognises himself there. “The cause to everything, it’s been stopped. But not without cost.”

The King glances over, the most open expression Changkyun has seen on him. “The cause…?”

“Some things are better left unsaid,” Kihyun mutters as he passes by the King’s other side, jumping down the uneven ground and walking away.

_ I know _.

“The taint,” is all Changkyun says. “The reason for the monsters, but… It doesn’t matter now, just know that there’s nothing we could have done better. And that we haven’t lost everything, after all,” he says, glancing back at the people, the community already building fires, places to sleep, spreading around food to make sure everyone is fed.

“I am the King of Nothing,” his father says, and Changkyun remembers thinking that, too, in a future past. “I barely deserve to be King at all.” He lifts his hand and looks at his fingers, at the thick ring with an emerald stone that brands him as the highest monarch in the land, and takes it off.

“Father--” Changkyun says, reaching out to close a hand around the ring, over his father’s hand. “Don’t. They need a leader, we all do, especially now.”

“Maybe,” his father says. “But they don’t need an old mind who’s lived years surrounded by the scourge. They need someone fresh, who knows what to do, who has ideas--” he looks up and when Changkyun follows his line of sight his eyes land on his brother. “Do you think he will do a good job?”

Changkyun smiles, nods. Because that’s the last thing he wants; the responsibility of so many people after what he did. He’d rather do the dirty work from the shadows, than have to speak from a lighted pedestal. “Of course he will. I’m going to help him, after all.”

The King looks down at Changkyun and smiles small, reaching over to place his hand atop Changkyun’s head, sliding it just enough to the back to pull him closer into a hug. “I’m sorry I was powerless to help you when you needed me the most. I hope you can forgive me someday…”

Changkyun chest twists, bottom lip jutting out. He can’t remember the last time he hugged his father. “Already forgiven…”

His father chuckles and pats his back, leaning away just enough. “You’ve always been soft hearted. You’d be a terrible King.”

_I__ was. _“I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just one chapter left, apparently...


	12. Ab Aeterno

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> History turns to Legend in a way Time could not foresee.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ab Aeterno - From An Infinitely Remote Point Of Time In The Past

_ “Home is a name, a word, it is a strong one; stronger than magician ever spoke, or spirit ever answered to, in the strongest conjuration.” _

Charles Dickens

_ _ _ _

Kings and Kingdoms fall all the time. But nothing has ever fallen so low and deep as the Golden City of Aureum, tainted by the greed of men whose whispers still speak in the darkest places of all. With each fall, however, something ends and something else begins. And while the searchers of horrors haunt strange, far away places, the denizens of Aureum take after their own hearts, bruised with loss, and begin again with the constant reminder that there is a crater deep into the Earth, alive with things better left unspoken.

Kihyun leaves because he has to. Because, suddenly, he’s the dagger that man just looked at and thought was pretty. He’s the pull of gravity that woman felt when she looked into the abyss. He’s the rope that old man just felt in his hands. He’s death in people’s thoughts.

He leaves without a promise, because he doesn’t need to promise to know when to return. He leaves because he doesn’t want to become the scapegoat for all the hatred and sadness people harbour in their hearts--and most of all, the guilt Changkyun carries with him at all times.

He leaves without a promise, and without asking for anything in return. Because if one day he does return and Changkyun looks away, that will be fair, and they will both be free despite the chain that binds them together.

And it’s so easy to let the winds take charge, to see a world beyond the one Kihyun has always known. Rumours keep him company when he’s alone, death is everywhere and so is he, and the idea of the Golden City of Aureum reaches the most illuminated minds, inspiring them within allegories on the hubris of nations. A language once forgotten is soon picked up by a civilization with aspirations of grandeur. And History turns to Legend in a way Time could not foresee.

_ Aureum ... _

_ Tectus ... Lapsus ... Ab .... Nascentia ... _

_ Taeter ... Iactatus ... Sacer. _

And, oh, do men debate and debate the mysterious carved slab, wondering where it could have come from, wondering about the missing words, wondering about what it all means. 

Except they always get it wrong. Because this ideal state city did not submerge into the Atlantic Ocean after falling out of favor with the deities that protected it, and its name was definitely _ not _ Atlantis. But men try, and History always favours the winners. 

There are no winners in The Fall of Aureum.

And maybe that’s why Kihyun returns, after Changkyun loses yet something else, someone else so very dear to him. Because all Aureum will ever know is loss. All Changkyun will ever know is loss. And the one thing, despite everything, that he will never lose, is Kihyun.

Silly, right? To try so hard to find another purpose beyond the one he’s been given, something so foreign to his own nature; because Kihyun was a wish, and therefore he will spend his life fulfilling that wish, but now he has a wish of his own, too, and instead of taking, like his instincts tell him to, he simply wants to give.

So, while he doesn’t really like funerals, he’s the shadow right behind Changkyun, nose in the crook of his neck, eyes cast down because there’s nothing to see.

“I never had one of these,” he mumbles, lips pressed against Changkyun’s skin. It still smells like him, something sweet and deep and _ alive. _ And it’s true, the pain of parting is nothing to the joy of meeting again, even though the occasion might not be the brightest yet.

Changkyun lets out a shuddering little breath, hand reaching back as Kihyun feels fingers in his hair. _ Touch. _ It’s so warm, so fuzzy. But to anyone else, Changkyun’s hand is just on his shoulder. Changkyun’s thoughts are a mess, but Kihyun catches them all-- _ good, I’m glad you can’t die--I’ve had enough funerals even for a lifetime like mine--hell of a time you call this, you late, beautiful idiot--I missed you so much--thank you for being here--I love you. _

“Jooheon,” is all Changkyun says out loud, though, in a whisper. The cold, desolate sadness of loss almost permeating the warmth Kihyun feels within this touch.

“I know,” he says, closing his eyes and nuzzling in just a little.

“He died of old age,” Changkyun breathes. He’s crying, that much is obvious. “I’m happy he could.”

Kihyun smiles a little. “Honestly? What a gift…” Definitely something he will never be able to experience, not even when time eats itself away, perhaps. “Life is made of meetings and partings welded together, though. And while that’s a good thing, because it means you’re alive, it’s also exhausting, isn’t it…?”

“All it means is nothing ever truly ends,” Changkyun whispers, turning his face into Kihyun’s hair. “Not with so many things that begin.” He pauses with a sigh, hand down to find Kihyun’s. “Come on. I have no reason to stay here anymore...”

Kihyun leans away and opens his eyes to look into warm, brown ones. It’s been a while. And it makes him happy. And that is definitely a selfish feeling, but he couldn’t care less.

“Where do you want to go?” he asks without taking his eyes off Changkyun’s. They shine with tears, but when he smiles, then, they just sort of sparkle.

“Everywhere.”

“I’ve been everywhere,” Kihyun says. “I think you’ll like it.”

“Lead the way, then,” Changkyun says, with a squeeze of his hand as he leads Kihyun away, and the moment he can, presses his lips and then his forehead against Kihyun’s. “Now…” Changkyun kisses him once more. “Never leave me again, you ass.”

“Not even if you throw me with the cutlery?” Kihyun asks, teasingly, slowly beginning to fade.

Changkyun giggles. “That was _ once _ , and it was because you _ scared _me.”

Kihyun rolls his eyes and lets himself fade. “I have something for you…” he says. And, before Changkyun can ask, Kihyun becomes the silky necklace that wraps itself around Changkyun’s neck, a detailed, faint brocade glittering in the low light, an amethyst held tight between silver right in the middle.

He feels Changkyun’s fingertips touch at it, delicately, feeling. “Wow… It’s not exactly a weapon, though…? Unless you plan to strangle me with it.”

“See?” Kihyun huffs, eyes on the abyss. “Don’t cross me. I can quite literally spend the rest of my life killing you.” He narrows his eyes. Quite fitting that death would be stuck with an immortal being for a lover. Death and Life. That’s what they are.

“No soul, though, so no fun,” Changkyun scoffs, working his way around a room to pack essentials. 

“Or rather… Too much soul. An interesting threesome we find ourselves in.”

“And the only one, thank you,” Changkyun chuckles. “Damn, how I’ve missed you.”

Kihyun closes his eyes and lets out a breath, the back of his head pressing against the rippling floor. “I missed you, too, Daisy flower.” But nothing will ever compare to the longing in that far away dream land, nothing will ever compare to the emptiness Kihyun remembers feeling then. “I love you.”

Changkyun stops, and Kihyun can feel the way his heart skips an entire beat. 

“What…?”

“I said,” Kihyun breathes, eyes searching the abyss for nothing at all, “That I love you.”

And Kihyun can feel it; happiness.

“Kiss me.”

And so he does. And from the darkness, from the abyss Kihyun will always be staring at, someone from ages past smiles at him and says, _ thank you._

_ _ _ _

They walk out of the past and into the future, their own future, and the worlds’. Empires rise and fall and Kihyun never leaves, and Changkyun never wants him to. Not even when they share silences that last for days, silences that would shatter hope, or need, or want. When Changkyun reaches out a hand, Kihyun always takes it. And somehow, Changkyun can always tell when Kihyun is in need of the same, and then, give it. Give it not out of obligation or because he is the only one who can, but because he wants to.

Perhaps some people would think it bad to need someone or to be needed, but Changkyun can’t see it that way, not when the past catches up with him and he cries and misses all his friends who died a century ago, and Kihyun holds him, kisses him, makes him smile with nothing more than one of his own. How could that ever be bad?

And amidst this--this immortal life tied to love--monsters are still very, very real.

Aureum is just a nightmare, but one Changkyun will always stop before it happens again. Because yes, there is more Grey Blood to destroy, more to be discovered under the earth, ready to be used for power by evil, ignorant people. But Aureum took years and years, near a century of the disease spreading, and Changkyun will always cut evil at the root before it’s too late.

In small ways; like hunting clusters of monsters, or in bigger ways, like setting up Hunter Schools the way Kihyun had seen him do in that future that never happened. 

Not all evils are big and easy to spot, though, some are malicious, powerful but independent, scattered across the Earth.

Jack the Ripper, they call it. The Whitechapel Murderer. Someone, or something, people believe to be a serial killer, something far too mysterious to be uncovered in broad daylight, something far too gruesome to become more than a mystery.

“It’s sounds quite familiar,” Kihyun says from where he’s lying atop a wooden bunk bed, a journal in his hands. If the maid walked in right now, she’d scream (again) at the floating piece of paper. “I mean, I don’t know how fuzzy your memory is, but you _ do _remember the general scenario in those underground labs, don’t you?”

“I remember,” Changkyun says, sat behind his desk. He glances at the flickering, oil lamp on the wall. That’s still quite new. It’s been one of Changkyun’s favourite things; watching the way science grows, and religion, in many ways, shrinks. “What part of it is familiar to you?”

“Throats are cut prior to abdominal mutilations, so they’re clearly bleeding them out before removing bits here and there… Blood is the physical form of a soul, and organs retain central points of energy--what did that strange man call them? Chakras…?”

Changkyun scoffs. “Never should have given him those mushrooms. A whole religion around it, now. Well, at least they’re nice,” Changkyun smiles, looking up at Kihyun, looking back down at the desk before blinking and looking up again. Yeah, he definitely saw that right. Naked. “Is there a, uhm,” Changkyun frowns, trying not to swallow too visibly. “Reason for this?”

Kihyun tips his head back, hanging it upside down from the bunk bed. “Hm?” He looks back to the paper. “Well, I might be reading too much into it, but I’d say someone is messing with the forbidden. Just a wild guess… It’s things like these that start cults among those mad enough to follow.”

Changkyun blinks. Not really what he meant… “Right. Any clues on how to track this thing down? You can smell blood like a shark, so.”

“Unless you can turn into a female prostitute from the slums, I doubt the Ripper will take much interest in you.”

Changkyun grins wide. “I could certainly find a corset and a wig.”

“I could turn into one,” Kihyun says and then snorts. “Killing machines, those bloody things.”

Changkyun scoffs and shakes his head, looking down as he runs a hand over his face. _ So naked. _

“I considered turning into one of those new dresses they’re so crazy about, lately. Do they even know they’re using poisonous dyes? They’re scared of the Ripper when their clothes are the true mass murderers of our time.”

“Remember when I tried to warn the French about the poisonous makeup? Didn’t go great.” Changkyun sits back in the chair, putting the quill down. “Now, do I need to come over there to fuck you or are you coming here?”

Kihyun tips his head back again and stares at Changkyun upside down. He doesn’t budge, though, and actually raises an eyebrow when someone knocks at the door. Changkyun narrows his eyes with a small smile.

“Come in,” he calls out. 

“Excuse me,” the maid says as she slowly pushes the door open, “Mr. Im, there’s a letter for you.” She’s wearing her nightgown which means she was already asleep. “Here,” she says as she walks over, clearly unaware that there is a very naked man now sitting on the table, right in front of Changkyun. “It must be important, to be delivered this late…”

“Thank you, Jennie,” Changkyun smiles past Kihyun, reaching out to take the letter. 

“Do you need anything else?” the maid asks, bowing her head a little as she steps back.

“Just coffee in the morning,” he teases, bowing his head a little, too. “Go back to sleep, I will see you then.”

She smiles small, clearly tired with sleep, and bows her head again before walking out and closing the door behind her, Kihyun still glancing at it over his shoulder. Changkyun immediately grabs Kihyun’s thighs (letter still in hand) and pulls him onto his lap.

“Centuries, and you still manage to drive me crazy,” Changkyun grins.

“Been doing that since we’ve met, Daisy flower,” Kihyun mumbles, peeking at the letter, “It’s more than a ritual by now. Who sent that?”

“Scotland Yard,” Changkyun scoffs, looking down (ignoring the dick) and opening the letter. “No surprises there, they want my help.”

“Our help.”

“Yes, my love, but if I started calling myself ‘we’, I’d be put in an Institution. I already talk to myself as far as everyone else is concerned,” Changkyun scoffs, putting the letter down and glancing up again. 

“Aw, but you know I’d break you out,” Kihyun says, far too seriously for the little smile on his face. “Wouldn’t be the first time, now, would it…”

“_That _was the Tower of London. Completely different story. Not my fault Lizzie the First couldn’t take no for an answer.”

“Not her fault you’re handsome and charming with the ladies,” Kihyun says.

“They just want what they can’t have,” Changkyun grins, looking up and leaning in, kissing Kihyun’s chin. 

“Well,” Kihyun shrugs, leaning back over the table and staring at the ceiling in idle contemplation, “Are you going to fuck me or are we heading out to kill something?”

Changkyun ducks down to kiss Kihyun’s stomach, hand working up his thigh. “I think you forget, sometimes,” Changkyun mumbles against his skin, nose nuzzling a little at the fine hair above his dick. “We have all the time in the world.”

“We do, but they don’t.”

“Best be quick, then,” Changkyun grins, before taking Kihyun into his mouth.

He _ really _hopes Jennie has gone to sleep.

  
  
  


* * *

  
  


Scotland Yard; the headquarters of the Metropolitan Police Service, located in the Strand, London. Often known simply as ‘the Met’, they’re responsible for maintaining the peace through the city, and ensuring all laws are followed. Most of their agents are stubborn, robust, grumpy, very few noble and safe. And, like any institution, they’re corrupt. 

Still, they do their job--sort of. Oftentimes requiring services from people they think they have under their thumb, people they don’t understand, people like Changkyun. So, without sugarcoating; they don’t do their job very well, but they help Changkyun do his. They do the basic things; gather the obvious data, saves Changkyun a lot of time. And while they’re not very good at trailing, Changkyun knows someone who is.

By now, Kihyun knows London as well as anything. He wanders during the night, sometimes during the day. He knows every dark corner better than the darkness itself.

“Whitechapel,” Kihyun mutters, back against a lamppost. “Everyone thinks it’s in Whitechapel because that’s where it all happens. But… I’ve combed every corner, and sure, it’s become a place of destitution over the years, it’s full of beggers, thieves, murder and prostitution, but it’s not _ a _ home, if you catch my meaning.”

A horse drawn carriage ambles over cobblestone and Changkyun follows it with his eyes. “It’s easy enough to elude this lot, but the fact that _ you _can’t find him, that we can’t…” He glances over. “Wards, maybe?”

_ “Him?” _ Kihyun question, lifting an eyebrow. “It. Let’s address things properly, shall we?” He looks away and sighs before glancing up to Scotland Yard’s building. 

Changkyun smiles small to himself--_ why did he just _ like _ being called out? _\--and pushes away from the wall. “You don’t think it’s Whitechapel, then?”

“That would be too obvious, wouldn’t it? Too easy.”

“Hidden in plain sight, though?”

Kihyun shrugs. “Not everyone likes to hide in plain sight…”

Changkyun hums, looking down before raising an eyebrow. “There is one way to move about without being seen… Underground tunnels. Maybe Jack the Ripper is just a really feisty mole.”

“Or a clever rat,” Kihyun mumbles. “I mean… The lack of adequate welfare for the poor and the destitute… people are forced to live transient lives in Common Lodging Houses, resorting to prostitution to live their lives… they’re the perfect victims. Whitechapel is the butcher’s shop.” He rolls his shoulders and looks to Changkyun. “You don’t live in the butcher’s shop. You go there to buy meat. So we either find its home _ or _ where it works.”

Changkyun shifts a little, pinching at his bottom lip. “Southwark, then. It has to be Southwark.”

“As a workplace? Definitely. I mean, if you pick up all the seven boroughs and place them inside little boxes? You want to live in the City. Politics happen in Westminster. You get your apples in Lambeth. You shop here, in the Strand. You get a hooker in Whitechapel. And you work in Southwark…”

“I realise this is more of a ‘general you’ as in the populace, but I still heard ‘you get a hooker’ and I would like to formally resent that,” Changkyun says, poking Kihyun’s cheek. “Have you always been this smart or do I just leave you alone for too long?”

“You may have a god inside you,” Kihyun scoffs, crossing his arms, “But I am way older than you are. Three thousand years old, give ir or take a few, add a dream or another.”

“I lost you at ‘inside you’.”

Kihyun makes a face and then looks away. “Knew you liked carrying that thing around like an appendix. Do I have to smash you with a cannonball again?”

“You know, I never actually _ asked _you to,” Changkyun says, arms crossed.

“I know, you were in the way and I was a cannon on fire. What did you want me to do?”

“Aim for the _ other _ ship, Kihyun,” Changkyun says, laughing a little. _ Good times, good times _… 

“Yoho, yoho, a pirate’s life for me?”

“Aye,” Changkyun chuckles. “We should get moving, though. There’s a chill in the air and I don’t think it’s the cold.”

Kihyun looks up. He sees the way the sky darkens, and it’s barely five o’clock. They spent the whole day arguing with policemen and detectives--well, Changkyun did, Kihyun just watched.

Some things never change.

But some do. And when Changkyun turns around to walk down the street, he gets glomped, both of Kihyun’s arms coming over his shoulders as he walks behind him.

“This must look amazing to all the people who can’t see me,” he says, amusement in his voice. “You’re hunching.”

“And talking to myself,” Changkyun says, _ not _to himself, but alas. He tries to straighten up with Kihyun on his back, pinching a little at his leg. “I love how you always act like we’re just having a stroll while we’re hunting down monsters and killers. Then again, you do anything too much and it becomes mildly mundane.”

“Is that why we had sex upside down the other day?” Kihyun muses.

“I was _ curious _.”

“I love you when you’re curious.”

“And I love you when you indulge me,” Changkyun grins over his shoulder at him.

“Last time you said that was when I made Frankenstein’s head explode.”

“Yes, yes.”

“So, where are we going now?” Kihyun asks, blowing softly behind Changkyun’s ear before misting into nothing. _ “Southwark?” _

“Well… Like you said, not hidden in plain sight,” Changkyun says, eyes on the brick buildings and surrounding iron fences. “So, instead of looking at the obvious, instead of looking for a killer, let’s look for a monster.”

_ “Oh…” _

At the intersection, Changkyun stops, eyes on the passing carriage. He smirks a little when a bigger one passes by and rushes forward, jumping to latch himself onto its back. Carriages are expensive, and so is public transportation, might as well just take a harmless lift.

Beyond the horizon, the setting sun illuminates the shimmering haze of pollution. Changkyun feels the breezing tousle at his hair as the carriage crunches through the streets, speeding up a little when it passes by St. Paul’s Cathedral.

“If the Ripper is doing what we think it’s doing,” Changkyun mumbles, reaching up to fix is purple dyed vest and to remove his cravat tie, “Then the traces it’s leaving aren’t for the common human eye. And what it’s leaving behind in its wake isn’t for the common human mind.”

_ “So…” _ Kihyun’s voice whispers, the usual necklace misting into reality around Changkyun’s neck. _ “We’re looking for signs of Grey.” _

“Precisely.”

_ “Clever old boy.” _

  
  


* * *

  
  
  


Night falls and people return to their homes, save the few who can’t afford such luxuries. Men with their hands out and women with their breasts out, on street corners and under awnings and lamps.

The moon is shining, uncharacteristically so, when they arrive in Southwark. Changkyun is on top of a warehouse, looking at the small buzz down below. The breeze bathes him with the smell from The Thames and he finds himself nearly nauseated.

London Bridge is in sight. But that’s not what they’re looking for. They’re looking for a woman, a woman who, say the whispers in the darkness, took to the streets and started living with the other orphans when her wealthy parents passed away. She goes by the name of Abramson, and is the ringleader of a small group of pickpockets.

_ “Abberline would be happy if we were to arrest this woman,” _ Kihyun whispers.

“We’re not here to do his job,” Changkyun says. “He’s a Chief Inspector, he can take her in if he wants to. Besides, Abberline is already far too stressed with the investigation he’s leading into the Jack the Ripper serial murders. A ringleader of small importance is nothing compared to the atrocities now happening in Whitechapel.”

_ “If you say so…” _

Every other week, new factories employing hundreds of people, including many small children, whose nimble hands make light-work of spinning, sprout out of the earth like a plague. It wouldn’t be much of a surprise if some of Abramson’s children were also workers in the factories.

Numerous children are sent to Southwark’s factories from workhouses or orphanages to work long hours in hot, dusty conditions, and are forced to crawl through narrow spaces between fast-moving machinery. It’s cruel. And during a working day of twelve hours, it’s not uncommon for accidents to happen.

“We might as well cause a little rockus, though,” Changkyun says. _ Child labour… oh, how much have you fallen, humanity. _ “Who knows, maybe one of the children will lead us straight to our little ringleader.”

_ “You know I love Bloody Marying people…” _

“Let’s go, then.”

The night is fresh, but the temperature shifts up the moment they enter the closest factory. The conditions these people are working in are below what Changkyun considers to be sanitary. And he’s being benevolent in his judgement, considering he’s giving the place a discount for being a coal factory.

Black, big ovens cover both the right and left walls inside the building. In the middle, a corridor that leads to a staircase. There is no way to distinguish the old blood stains on the floor from the black dust that clings to clothes, hair, stone, even iron.

There’s no one in the near vicinity, just a few older workers ahead. So, silently, Changkyun makes his way up the building, casually staying in the shadows as much as he can.

It’s not until he goes up the stairs and reaches the first floor that he realizes how many children are working in horrible, horrible conditions. Some of them don’t look older than eight years old. Others are chained to the machines.

Child labour is not an invention of the Industrial Revolution, but it is certainly a fuelling factor. A problem that must be tackled as soon as possible.

“Our next monster to kill,” Changkyun mumbles. 

_ “I’ll keep an eye out.” _

“No need, men’s greed is all around,” Changkyun says, letting himself fall silently from a rafter, rolling a little to break the fall before landing on his feet. He’s had years and years of practise. In almost everything, at this point. 

_ “Well, I have bad news…” _

“Break it to me gently.”

_ “Uhm… gently, Kihyun said ever so gently, a few of these children may be infected with Grey.” _

Changkyun’s heart falls a little, shoulders slumping as his eyes move on the children he can see. “Right. Of course they would be…” 

_ “They’ll be able to see me if it’s bad. Should I try or would you rather not know?” _

Changkyun lets his eyes flick across their faces. They’re dirty, but young, soft, even. And one day, some of them will turn into monsters. _ A whole city fell into the pit, and still, children have to die _.

“I want to know,” Changkyun mumbles. “Will you remember their faces?”

There’s a breeze and it feels like a sigh. The necklace around Changkyun’s neck mists away and Kihyun appears in front of him, back turned, eyes on the children. “If I kill them… when the time comes, they will be with me. So, yes. I’ll always remember their faces. I can remember every face, even the butt-uggly, decaying with Grey ones...”

Changkyun smiles small, a sad little thing, before squeezing Kihyun’s shoulder as he walks past, a few of the children immediately noticing his (their?) approach.

“Hello,” Changkyun says, hands up as he crouches down, smiling politely. “Don’t be scared, I’m not here to hurt you.” 

And neither is Kihyun. Even if they have to die, Kihyun will make sure it won’t hurt. It’s one of those small, big things, that Changkyun is aware he can thank his presence for. Forever is a long time, but it can make people kind, too. And he’s been an influence on Kihyun, just like Kihyun has been an influence on him.

“Who are you then?” a little girl asks, one of her eyes bloodshot.

“A stranger, but that’s okay,” Changkyun says. It’s funny, because he doesn’t really glance around, doesn’t try to see who might be able to see Kihyun or not. He said he wanted to know, and perhaps he does, perhaps he doesn’t. “I want to help you.”

The little girl frowns and pouts, glaces at the other children before turning back to scrub the molds. “You can’t help us. Missy is dead, the monster got her. This is the only way we can get money.”

“The monster…” Kihyun mumbles from behind Changkyun. “So, the rumours are true.”

The little girl shrugs. _ She heard him. _ “Dunno about any rumours, sir. Just that the monster that guards the sewers always comes at night. And it caught Miss Abramson, too…” 

_ Sewers. Thought so _...

Changkyun glances at Kihyun. It’s so rare for people to acknowledge his existence. Changkyun has asked him, before, if he gets lonely, and once or twice Kihyun actually said he misses an old friend or two to bicker with. _ To think Hyungwon, oh so many years ago, even after the Grey left him, kept talking to Kihyun even though he could no longer see him. _

“Have you seen the monster?” Changkyun asks the girl, then, ignores the way he still manages to miss his friends thousands and thousands of years after they died.

The little girl shakes her head. “No… But we knew something bad would happen to Missy. She was protecting us from the monster, but now the monster took her…”

“Protecting you?” Kihyun asks.

The little girl glances up, looks past Changkyun. “She had vaccines that would protect us from the monster. Said that if we took them, the monster wouldn’t come. And it didn’t… until…” The little girl breathes in and looks away. _ Children are strong. But they shouldn’t have to be. _ “Until Missy said that she wasn’t going to give us any more vaccines. I asked why but she was just scared and angry.”

_ Vaccines… Grey. Great. _ Changkyun bites at his lip, standing up slowly. _ There’s a small source nearby but we’ve contained it, that can’t be where they’re getting this... _

One of the Old Ones lies dormant underneath the city, and it’s the Hunter School’s job to keep it contained, so something like what happened in Aureum won’t happen again. London is too important, too big to fall. And Changkyun can’t take action in the name of people he doesn’t represent.

Even if Queen Victoria does enjoy inviting Changkyun to parties to listen to his stories. A lover of Penny Dreadfuls, that one.

_ Can’t we send these children to the School? _Changkyun thinks, glancing to Kihyun. But Kihyun doesn’t answer. He keeps his eyes, soft, a little shiny, on the girl who isn’t even looking at him anymore.

“Do you have a name?” he asks instead.

“Everyone has a name,” the little girl mutters, glancing up. “Lizzie.”

A few children talk amongst themselves, looking at the girl like she’s a little crazy. Then again, they might just think she’s talking to thin air.

“I’m Kihyun.”

“What a weird name,” the little girl says. But there’s a small smile on her face when she looks away.

And hey, there’s a reason Changkyun goes by ‘Daniel’. There’s also a reason why he takes a small step back, lets Kihyun do the talking. He can do it so rarely, after all.

“What happened to your eye, Lizzie?” Kihyun asks.

“I don’t know. But it hurts a bit…”

Kihyun tilts his head. “I can pluck it off, if you want.”

The girl whips around and then frowns. “And how will I be able to see then?”

“You have two eyes.”

“Kihyun,” Changkyun says gently, despite the small smile.

The little girl makes a face and turns back to the molds. “Weirdo.”

“She’s right,” Changkyun hums, arms crossed. He likes this kid, is the worst part of all of it. If not the fact that the first conversation Kihyun has had in ages is with someone who has to die soon.

_ “But she’s not scared anymore,” _ Kihyun whispers even though his lips don’t move. When they do, though, he just says, “I’ll kill that monster for you.”

The little girl peeks over her shoulder. “Can you, though? You’re a bit skinny.”

“You’re a bit annoying but I’m still talking to you,” Kihyun mumbles.

“Maybe you like annoying.”

Kihyun blinks and looks at Changkyun.

“You’re not _ that _skinny,” Changkyun teases.

“It’s your fault,” Kihyun informs him. “You haven’t been feeding me well.”

“He feeds you?” the little girl scoffs. “How old are you?”

“Three thousand years old.”

“I’m not sure how big that number is but alright.”

Honestly, this girl reminds Changkyun of Hyungwon. 

When they’re about to leave, she asks, “Will I see you again?”

And Kihyun is the one who looks back and says, “Definitely.”

Maybe no ruckus today. Maybe no Bloody Marying today. Things are already bad enough, no need to make them worse.

  
  


* * *

  
  
  


In between the mist that comes from Thames, a few things are clear; London is full of strange stories, and now there is a monster on the loose. Miss Abramson was keeping the children safe from it, but now it appears she’s been killed. She was feeding the children Grey Blood, which makes sense, since a Grey Blood Beast would more likely go for fresh new meat than to attack their next of kin.

But why do all this in the first place? Why was the monster going after the children? Well, that’s what the mist hides, between stationary ships, bridges and water currents that would drown a person within minutes.

_ “So, I have a terrible feeling about this,” _ Kihyun whispers around the air. _ “Grey Blood and water always makes them kind of fishy…” _

“So, when you say ‘terrible feeling about this’, you don’t mean anything other than the fact that it’s going to smell like fish, do you?”

_ “Precisely. I hate it. That foul stench… I am mad because I wasn’t the one killing the man, or woman, or thing who thought the smell of fish would need to exist in this realm.” _

“We already fought God once, my dear,” Changkyun says, nose wrinkling up a little as they approach the entrance to the sewers and it unfortunately does smell like rotten fish. Not even just _ fish _ , no, it has to be _ rotten _, too.

_ “There’s more than one.” _

“Shh, the Christians will hear you.”

_ “It’s the Catholics you need to be scared of. I miss the times when Elizabeth, the Protestant, was in power. It was hilarious.” _

“We had champagne as the armada sunk to the bottom of the ocean. Good times.”

_ “While I was busy trying not to get wet. Rude.” _

“_You’re _the reason it sunk, Kihyun.”

_ “And no one ever thanked me for it.” _

Kept him full for a while, though.

“I think this is the entrance,” Changkyun says, wanting to reach up to pinch closed his nose as they approach the sewer door made of iron bars. Poop _ and _rotten fish. Changkyun will be taking a bath for hours once they’re home.

Kihyun phases through the iron bars and then turns around to look over his shoulder. “It’s in times like these that I appreciate the fact that I don’t have to breathe.”

“Tried that,” Changkyun grumbles, picking at the lock with instruments of his own design. It clicks open and Changkyun pockets them, pushing open the door. “Fainted, remember?”

The smell of stagnant water is horrible, but nothing beats the acrid stench of decomposition that washes by. The walls of the sewer are made of stone bricks, moss clinging to the ceiling. The water reaches Changkyun’s ankles and every now and then he swears he’s stepping on far too soft a ground.

Kihyun stops, suddenly, though. It’s a noisy storm, the mist he makes as he dissipates and flips into Changkyun’s hand, cane sword slapping against his palm.

_ “It’s close…” _

“Any idea where, canary of mine?”

But Kihyun doesn’t need to answer that question. Changkyun can see the shiny big, yellow eyes that stare from the darkness, and then he can hear the crickets, gurgling the creature ahead makes, the sound ricocheting off of every wall and making the hair at the back of his neck spike up.

It’s dark, so Changkyun snaps his fingers to cast a flame.

This creature? It’s new.

Despite its humanoid appearance, it looks mostly aquatic. It’s hairless and it has a scaly fish-like skin, feathered gills on its neck and upper torso. Its claws are long, it’s fingers webbed together. Its head looks like a fish with a frog’s mouth, unblinking eyes slowly adjusting to the sudden light.

Changkyun spins the cane a little between his fingers, keeps the small flame in his other hand. Fish aren’t exactly fans of fire, after all.

“Can you understand me?” Changkyun asks, eyes glued to the creature. 

The creature hesitates. They always do now, probably because they sense the Old One that inhabits Changkyun’s body with him. It only crowches, it doesn’t move, but it keeps its big eyes on him. Changkyun slowly approaches, letting the flame dance between his fingers. There’s no choice to it, really, Changkyun has to kill this thing, and he will. But he can’t help but wonder if he can’t use the guard to find out what its guarding. 

“I think that was a ‘maybe’,” Changkyun mumbles, tilting his head to look at the thing.

_ “Are you seriously trying to reason with the fish?” _

“I’m _ fishing _ for clues,” Changkyun says, giving the cane another little spin and making the flame in his hand glow bigger and brighter as he watches said fish. “No?”

The creature gives a slow step back. But then something flashes in its eyes and it jumps forward, mouth open in a row of thin, needle-like teeth that are going straight for Changkyun’s neck.

_ There goes any hope for diplomacy _.

Changkyun quickly ducks out of the way, sending a flash of flame into the creatures face, blinding it long enough to dig the sharp edge of the cane, the beak of an eagle shaped pommel, into the creature’s flesh and pull. It unsheads the hidden sword that Changkyun catches mid hair, ripping grey-ish blood spilling and scales ripping from the creature’s flesh.

When the creature turns to hiss something loud but far too abstract for words to describe, Changkyun twirls the sheath of the cane sword in his hand and hits the fish-face as hard as he can. _ Shut. The fuck. Up. That hurts. _

_ “I feel used…” _

“You’re a weapon!” Changkyun laughs, ducking out of the way again, twisting around and using the momentum to cut a deep gash into the creature wherever he manages to hit. “You like being used!”

_ “Don’t dirty talk on the job.” _

The creature hisses and screams, angry as it tries to bite and claw but keeps on stumbling back. Eventually, it jumps back so it can jump forward again, and Changkyun just turns in circle on his heel, the cane sword misting as a sword takes its place mid air. When he throws his arm, the sword flies forward and pierces the creature’s side, when he motions up, something invisible but heavy against his palm, a giant broadsword pierces through the floor and cuts through the creature’s leg.

It’s a storm of weapons. Unlimited blade works that Changkyun can call upon to do his bidding without having to touch them, but always feeling their weight.

The next hit, is through the chest, and the monster stops moving, held against the wall by a blade far older than the city itself. The creature collapses when Kihyun mists himself closer to Changkyun. And it’s rather unfortunate, really, when, for the first time ever, a monster speaks.

_ “ThE cAtaCoMbS…” _

And then it’s gone, a mist of blood swirling up and then moving towards Kihyun.

“I feel like a broken record,” he mumbles, “But I have bad news…”

“What, it tastes like fish, too?”

“It’s miss Abramson,” Kihyun mutters, eyes devoid of emotion as he looks at the slowly decaying body. “She wasn’t saving the children from the monster by giving them Grey. She was saving them from herself.”

Changkyun sighs and his chest hurts a little, and while he doesn’t ignore it--who would he be, after thousands of years, if he ignored something like that?--he does turn to walk away. Or rather, walk to the catacombs.

“Come on. Let’s go see how this day can get any worse...”

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  


Although London’s high water table limits subterranean construction, there are several catacomb spaces throughout the city. And where do monsters go when the sun shines high and bright? Obviously, underground.

It’s dirty, the air feels damp, thick, and the smells give Changkyun flashbacks to a time he will never be able to forget. Curiously enough, this Victorian era feels so much like _ home _ that Changkyun hopes it will never come to an end with the aging time, even if he knows the future awaits.

An age of invention and science, industry and mystery. How will Changkyun ever not miss it?

Fortunately or unfortunately, not all monsters look like monsters. A hard learnt lesson for Changkyun, even though deep down he always knew it to be a fact. Because, sometimes, the tumbling living corpse isn’t the monster. Sometimes, the monster is the human dressed in expensive clothes, who gives coin to the poor but treats his wife like she’s the scum of the Earth.

And today, the monster looks uglier than any other. Not because they have rotten skin and ugly teeth, much on the contrary, in fact, but because their monstrous actions have become the face they wear.

Against the wall, a contraption of sorts holds the dead body of a young woman, barely looking like the picture of the girl who’d gone missing a few days ago, what with the mutilated face, the only perceptible feature being the red lips without a smudge of lipstick despite the remaining mess. Her whole chest is open, and she’s been bled dry, her organs clean and in full display.

In the middle of the room, another woman, older, far older, gloves all the way up to her elbows, eyes glinting with pride, face distorted with the ugly grin any murderer would wear.

“So,” Changkyun says, Kihyun in hand--his favourite, the old wakizashi--as he walks closer, blood running a little cold. “Not _ Jack _, then…”

“Common assumption,” the woman says. “Men always take all the glory, don’t they…?”

“There’s no glory in this,” Changkyun hisses, glancing at the dead woman. “Why do this? Do you find pleasure in it?”

“Oh,” the woman laughs, softly, placing a pair of forceps over a small table near her, “It’s quite thrilling, indeed. Although, there’s a greater purpose beyond the thrill of taking a life. And it’s not like these ladies were putting their own lives to good use,” the woman says, glancing with disgust at the body held against the wall. “But oh, well. Welcome, Eternal Light,” she looks back to Changkyun. “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you.”

_ “She’s a Hunter,” _ Kihyun whispers. _ “She’s turned cloaks.” _

Changkyun grits his teeth. _ Knew it _. He’ll have to go visit the Hunter’s School, again. This can’t happen again. Hunters can’t keep on taking all the knowledge bestowed upon them and twisting it into the whims of a lost faith. It’s happened a few times. It can’t become a norm.

“Won’t be a pleasure for long,” he grits out. “If you know who I am, you know what happens next.”

The woman smiles and turns on her side, slowly removing her gloves, one by one. “I do not fear death. And I hope someday you’ll understand. After all, my work will inspire so many beyond my time, the legend of The Ripper will live on…” She reaches for the red lipstick and traces it over her bottom lip. “An idea is hard to kill. And the idea will always live on, passed down from generation to generation, from a bygone Church to those who will one day take charge.”

Guilt. Somewhere, deep in his chest, Changkyun feels guilt. 

“They taught you so much,” he says, then, shaking his head in near disbelief. “You know so much, you could have been so brilliant. And instead you became this, something that needs murder to be remembered.”

“You are the light,” the woman says, turning to face Changkyun again, “And you shine so bright, guiding us towards the future. But even the brightest lights cast the darkest shadows. What people do with this knowledge you keep pouring into the world, is their own choice.” She glances at the sword in Changkyun’s hand. “Imagine what we could attain… imagine the greatness humanity could aspire to, if only the Church’s work was complete.”

Changkyun takes a quick step forward, sword suddenly up to her throat, anger burning thick in his veins. “Now I understand,” he nearly growls at her, and, if he didn’t know better, he’d wonder if his eyes had gone as red as Kihyun’s. “What you are,” he huffs a laugh. “You’re a fool. An _ idiot _ . The greatness of humanity doesn’t lie in _ power _, it lies in kindness. And you have none. You were never worthy to be a Hunter. And I’ll make sure a fool never enters my school again.”

“Oh,” the woman smiles, “A purge of fools. You are good at purging cities, are you not?”

“A purge is only for the unwanted,” Changkyun glares. “Sometimes, good people just die and I can’t stop that. But I can stop you, and everyone who follows you.” He frowns. “You used that woman… used her compassion against her just so you could study those children from afar… You killed those other women, violated them in the worst way possible. You’re vile, and I do not stand idle in the presence of evil…”

“Best of luck, little Prince.”

Changkyun slits her throat so deep her head nearly falls from her neck. He watches the way the blood pools near his feet before it begins misting towards the sword. “I got lazy,” Changkyun spits out, turning around as he starts walking. “I should never have let that place function without my direct _ fucking _supervision.”

_ “You knew it wouldn’t be simple…” _ Kihyun whispers. _ “Your message carries theirs as well. Maybe not for all ears, but for those willing to listen…” _

“Then maybe they got lazy,” Changkyun grumbles, sheathing the sword as he pushes open the door out. He can’t stay here, but he’ll tell Scotland Yard where to find the poor girl. Even if they’ll never know what really transpired, or who it was. When they get here, the murderous woman’s body will be dust. Evil does that to a person, eats away at them until even the body lets itself go. “Started slacking on who they let in. Still, we should go pay a visit. Scare the shit out of them or something…”

_ “I love scaring the shit out of things.” _

Changkyun smiles. His smile has changed a little over the years, and sometimes, now, he sees Kihyun in it. _ I know _.

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  


To have a heart that never hardens is, perhaps, the greatest hurdle of all. To have a temper that never tires is a necessity when eternity is the clock of guidance. To have a touch that never hurts is more of a hope than a reality.

And yet, despite all the hurdles, necessities and shattered hopes, Changkyun’s heart is always soft for Kihyun, his temper always calm when Kihyun is around to call him to reason, even though sometimes it’s difficult to hear the truth, and his touch always makes Kihyun smile.

Kihyun’s smiles… Changkyun remembers them being so rare and so little. And yet, nowadays, he smiles, probably more often than Changkyun does, and Changkyun does smile a lot.

Funny, how someone so far from human in so many ways keeps Changkyun as human as he could ever be. Funny, how all Changkyun ever did was give away a bit of humanity, only for it to be returned tenfold. 

And it’s not like Kihyun became Changkyun. Because they’re both very much the same people they were when they met, in a way or another. But Kihyun cares more, now, feels more, wants more and empathizes more than ever before. All things he learned from Changkyun. And Changkyun learned about making tough decisions, about when to be soft and when to harden himself, about what goes beyond basic appearances, and that sometimes what might _ feel _ wrong exists for a bigger _ right _. He learned that forever can be hard, but that it had to be together, or not at all. He learned to fight in a smarter, less reckless, way, even now, when he has so little to lose. All things he learned from Kihyun.

It’s tiring. But when it feels like too much, they lie down and look into each other's eyes for hours turned days and, somehow, feel better and lighter than before.

Because forever isn’t in the days out there, the long, long years, it’s in the certainty of whatever may happen in those long, short days, they’ll always have each other.

It’s tiring, though. And, sometimes, Kihyun asks;

“Do you regret it?”

And Changkyun answers;

“Would you smile less without me here?”

“Definitely…”

“Then how could I ever regret it?”

“It is not dead which can eternal lie; And with time even Death may die… They got that bit wrong.”

Changkyun smiles, a hand soft on Kihyun’s cheek. “You know, I don’t think they did. Perhaps, by living eternally, we destroy the very idea of Death.”

“So… We’re killing death?”

“You’re Kihyun, and I’m Changkyun, and oh yes, we are.”

Kihyun blinks then snorts a laugh, hides his face in Changkyun’s chest that still warms when Kihyun says, “I love you so…”

Changkyun kisses the top of Kihyun’s head and holds him close. “And I you, you impossible thing.”

“I feel like… things will get busy from now on,” Kihyun mumbles. “The tides are changing, people feel antsy. There’s a war on the horizon. And I have a feeling you and I will be right in the middle of it all…”

Changkyun sighs, nuzzling a little into Kihyun’s hair. “Humans,” Changkyun says, almost like he’s not even one of them anymore. “You take away the monsters and they just start fighting themselves.”

“Well, well, in all these years together, haven’t you learned anything from me?” Kihyun asks, slowly moving himself over Changkyun, pulling both his wrists over his head and holding them there. “All it takes,” Kihyun whispers, eyes on Changkyun’s, “Is the right push. No one is ever truly innocent, and the seed for moral evil is always there.”

“Mmm,” Changkyun hums, smiling up at Kihyun in a teasing daze as he wraps his legs up around him. “Kind of stopped listening a while ago…”

“Either way,” Kihyun mumbles, mouthing at Changkyun’s chin, then his lips in a teasing kiss, and then licking at his nose, “You’ll have to pick a side. Choose well… Because whichever side you pick will have me, too.”

Changkyun sighs, for a lot of reasons. “Not sure I want to get involved in wars, if that’s what it is,” Changkyun mumbles. 

“The time for Kingdoms and Imperialism is over,” Kihyun says, “Sooner or later, there will be a reason to lash out. And you’re far too important to opt out.”

Changkyun frowns, poking Kihyun’s cheek with his nose. “Wars are messy. There’s very rarely a side to be fighting on, just a side you’re told to by whoever holds your life in their hands.” And then there’s the Hunter School. Changkyun will have to do something about that, too.

Kihyun raises an eyebrow. “Messy… you like messy. Besides, you’re mistaking my words. I’m not telling you to pick which country you want to fight for… I’m telling you that there are sides to pick. And there will be many innocent parties when it all plays out.” Kihyun leans closer to trace his lips over Changkyun’s. “You’ve always wanted to fight for your people. So, now that you have no people, you’ll just have to decide whether or not you’d like to fight for _ these _ people Them.”

“_ Them _,” Changkyun teases, nipping lightly at Kihyun’s bottom lip. “Whomever I deem worthy, yes?”

“Hmhm,” Kihyun agrees. “Close your eyes…”

“I always like it when you say that,” Changkyun laughs softly, tilting his chin up a little before he closes his eyes.

_ “If you open them, I’ll shoot you in the foot.” _

“Your dirty talk always scares me a little and I don’t like thinking about why I like it so much.”

In the darkness, between blotches of white, Changkyun sees Kihyun. And, oh, does he look like a deity--the perfect balance of danger and charm, he is at the same time fascinating and inaccessible, distant because of his demonstrated flawlessness, and possessing such strength of character that he is dismaying and at the same time utterly attractive in an enticing and forbidden way.

_ Maybe that’s why. _ Because, like Kihyun always never fails to mention, Changkyun likes Death. And like Changkyun never fails to correct him, rather than liking it, he’s fascinated by it.

Kihyun said, once, so many centuries ago, “No one can touch you. No one will ever touch you again, if you don’t want them to.” And all Changkyun said to that was a question, “What’s your name?”

As for the answer, that’s the word Changkyun is in love with; a name. Death? It fascinates him. But Kihyun? That he loves. _ And now imagine what it’s like to have both. Forever. _

_ “Definitely shooting you in the foot.” _

_ Love you, too _.

May the fight never end, may the flame never die, for which can eternal lie, and death may never die. Ten steps forward, never one back, _ extend your hand and let the light come forth. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now playing: Hunt You Down by The Hit House feat. Ruby Friedman.
> 
> [Youtube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6f3j4okhb8o) / [Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/2dRoESVKrX5rl5T2kT4btr?si=CMrisLyJTVCv1eGyLIR8bQ)
> 
> Thank you so much for reading this fic! It was an adventure to write it. Will miss this duo a lot but, then again, we always miss our characters whenever we finish a story.
> 
> Hopefully, you'll stick around for our next work!

**Author's Note:**

> We will be updating this fic every Monday, Wednesday and Friday, so stay tuned for this Gothic Halloween Marathon! 
> 
> Hit us up on twitter @shitty4eyes and @Eunmih, or use the tag #LuxAeternaAO3 ~


End file.
